by London Casey
It smacked right down where I wanted it.
This season was going to be mine.
Nothing would get in my way.
Nothing could distract me.
(Willow)
I drove for over an hour. Just working my way through the city, going outside it, back into it, everywhere I could possibly go. I stopped for a coffee at a place I never went to before. I sat in the corner of the cafe and watched the steam rise up from the coffee.
This was complete bullshit.
Roman was not going to treat me like a pet. I wasn’t some whore that he could fool around with at his command. Even if it was enticing and he was gorgeous it wasn’t going to work like that. My relationships in life consisted of one actual relationship that ended really bad. From there, I promised myself I would control any and all relationships. And a guy like Roman was not going to change that.
Even if I couldn’t get the taste of his lips off mine. Even if I kept licking my lips, wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped the kiss and slapped him. Hell, even after I slapped him… he was still ready to go…
I shook my head.
This wasn’t the person I was going to become.
I reached into my bag for my phone and saw the napkin he had signed. I slowly took it out and stared at the autograph. I rubbed my thumb across it, sighing. Maybe in some small and weird way I had gotten to him. That giant wall of toughness could be conquered. Then he’d find a real way to stay out of trouble. Whatever his reasoning was for not wanting to go public about his donations was fine, but from a PR standpoint, it was a bad move. Roman could be tough, bold, a complete asshole in the weight room and on the football field, but if he maintained his image off the field…
Then again, who the hell was I? I wasn’t a PR person. I wasn’t in charge of Roman.
Yet I couldn’t get him out of my mind.
That fucking kiss… the way he just grabbed me and put me against a wall. It was like I hit the wall and something jarred loose. Something that had been waiting to come alive for a long time. The stare of his bad boy eyes. The way he had full confidence in kissing me. Not just that I wouldn’t slap him away but that I’d enjoy it. That I’d want more. That I’d stopped the kiss, hating myself for it.
Roman had control.
I folded up the napkin and put it back in my bag. At least Leslie would get her autograph for her father. As for me? I was about to put my career on the line.
I had no choice.
I sat in the little coffee shop and called Ted.
“Willow,” he said when he answered. “Are you calling to tell me Roman is in jail?”
“I don’t know if he is,” I said. “Last time I saw him…” - he had his fucking tongue jammed down my throat - “… he was at the practice place.”
“Ah, good. So what the hell do you want then?”
I shut my eyes and swallowed hard. “Ted… I quit.”
I drove back to the office, figuring Jay or Johnny would be waiting for me at my desk, with security standing there with one of those little boxes full of my shit. Johnny would be cocky enough to sit there with his feet up on the desk. Jay would just stand there with a terrifying scowl on his face. He wouldn’t even have to speak a word to tell me my career was officially over for good. I’d never get another law job again. My six figure student loan debt would merely just be another burden to carry for life.
All because of Roman.
I got to the office and it was business as usual. My office was just as I left it. I slowly sat down behind my desk as though my chair was going to explode. I wasn’t dealing with the mafia here, just an outlaw athlete. Well, not anymore. I was out. Done. Ted could find someone else to deal with Roman.
Leslie was at my door before I could even attempt to get comfortable.
“Hey,” she said. “Do you need anything? You look flustered.”
“No,” I said. “Actually, I have something for you. Come here. Shut the door.”
Leslie walked to my desk, a stack of folders tucked under her left arm. She put the folders down on a chair.
I reached out and gave her the signed napkin.
When she looked at it, her eyes went wide. She gasped and covered her mouth. Her eyes were glossy when she looked at me. “How… when…”
“You caught Roman at a bad time,” I said. “Obviously coming to a lawyer generally isn’t for good stuff, right? He’s an ultra mega star kind of person and his attitude fits the bill. He felt like shit that he did that to you. He called me and had that for you. He also said he’ll be in touch to get you some Dragons tickets.”
“Are you kidding me? My father…” A tear escaped from Leslie’s eye and she hurried to wipe it away.
I jumped up and grabbed a tissue. “Hey. I don’t understand.”
“It’s so stupid.”
“No. Tell me.”
“It’s just… things haven’t been so good with him lately,” she said. “His heart… he’s got something wrong. Doctors have been giving him the run around. One is afraid to operate. The other is eager to operate. He’s just really down and out right now over it all. His age has caught up to him for sure. But the one thing he and I had was this. I never understood football but I knew what it meant to go to a game with him. This is going to mean the world to him. I finally get to bring him something. You know? I mean, I don’t have a man in my life. I’m not married. I don’t have kids. Sometimes I feel like I’m letting him down. Because if he… passes…” Leslie sucked in a breath.
“Oh, Les,” I said. “I’m sure he…”
“No. You can’t say that to me. Nobody can. Because we just never know. But something dumb like this autograph might be enough to make him smile. I believe that smiling and happiness is a good medicine. Even if he passes tonight, he’ll do so happy.”
I couldn’t speak. So I hugged her. I slid my arms around Leslie and hugged her. I had never gotten close to Leslie because my life didn’t require it. She was my assistant, basically an employee. Damn me for not knowing about her father and more about her personally.
“I’m glad I was able to get that,” I said.
“Thank you for that,” she said. “You didn’t have to go after him. He seems… intense.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“But he’s really hot,” Leslie said. She laughed and wiped her eyes. “I mean, seeing him on TV is one thing. But in person? He’s bigger than anything. I mean, does he like pay extra for t-shirts that actually fit him? His arms are like…”
Was it wrong that it turned me on to hear Leslie describe Roman?
“Okay, okay,” I said. “I still have to deal with him as a client.”
No you don’t. You quit. Remember?
My heart sank a little.
Roman was an ass but I had seen him donate money to a domestic abuse organization and make sure to do right on an autograph for Leslie. I was starting to see through the cracks a little. It was dangerous though.
Because of that fucking kiss.
“Get back to work,” I said.
My cell phone started to ring, which saved my butt from anymore conversation with Leslie about all this.
I looked at my phone, figuring it had to Jay or Johnny. How long was Ted going to wait before telling them I quit?
It wasn’t Jay, Johnny, or Ted calling me.
It was Roman.
“Are you calling to apologize to me?”
“The only reason I would need to apologize was if I did something wrong,” he said so boldly. “But I did nothing wrong. And even if I did, I’m not going to apologize. I’m not here to appease your feelings.”
“I’ll hang up right now.”
“That’s fine,” Roman said. “I’m just calling to check in, Mom.”
“Mom? Don’t…”
Roman laughed.
God, he’s fucking gorgeous even through the phone.
“I’m going to visit my brothers,” he said. “I won’t be in town if y
ou’re trying to track me down and stalk me. Just giving you a heads up.”
“It doesn’t matter, Roman. I already quit.”
“You didn’t quit.”
“I already talked to Ted.”
“Sweetie, I’m the one paying you. You don’t get to walk away.”
I felt my nostrils flare. “No, Roman. You don’t get to talk that way to me. You don’t get to just mess with me. Kiss me. I’m not some…”
“You wanted it,” Roman said. “Don’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. I didn’t call you to talk about that shit. I’m heading out of town. Anything that happens, oh well.”
“No,” I said. “You can’t just do that, Roman. I’m still part of your legal team whether you’re here or in another country. Where are you going?”
“I’m going to hell,” he said and hung up.
“I quit,” I whispered. “I fucking quit.”
I sighed and called Ted. Of course, this time, he answered the call.
“There she is,” Ted said.
“Did you get my message?”
“Yes. I did. I’m kind of hoping I can delete the message though, Willow. I can pretend you never called. Is that what you want to do?”
I thought about the check in Roman’s bag. I thought about him signing that autograph. I thought about the way he kissed me.
“The only way I even attempt to do this again, Ted, is if you do what I say.”
“You’re going to push at me? Sure thing, Willow. What to do you want to know?”
“Everything,” I said. “Roman just called to tell me he has to go talk to his brothers and that he has to go hell. What the fuck does that mean?”
I heard Ted exhale slowly. “You don’t want to know.”
(Roman)
I pulled my car to the side of the road, right next to an old tree. There was a little dirt patch that had been made years ago. Cars would pull over there so people could take a piss because the road was so fucking long and anything but scenic. Sometimes people went there to fuck each other in the backseat. Sometimes cops sat there and pretended to run speed traps but they would nap, eat, or jerk off to porn. I’d seen all of it so I know.
Behind the tree was a path that cut down to a creek. That creek my brothers and I dubbed Day Knight Creek. Because the creek was in Daystron but when the sun went down, we made it our own. Hell, people joked around town calling it Knightstrong because of the hell we caused.
On the other side of the creek led up to the backyard of the old house. It was a good mile away though. Even still, I felt too close to it all. I loved the woods, the land, I loved being near the coast. It was a far cry from the city life I lived. The movement of the city, however, made time go fast and kept memories under control.
Out here where there was nothing, it made time slow and made the demons creep up on me. I had some pills in the center console of the car that I could take to help with that. I didn’t need to see a regular doctor to get a fix if I needed it. When you got to my status, the doctor loved to help. There were painkillers and anxiety meds all mixed together. Not to mention a bottle or two in the trunk of my car. I’d get through this little meet up one way or another. Then I could get back to the city and find someone to fuck. No paying for it this time. I wanted to go on the hunt. I wanted to be on the prowl and savor my next prey.
It took about five minutes before I saw another vehicle. It was a big ass pickup truck, barreling down the road right toward me. Big wheel, black rims, the truck a black monster. Behind the wheel? My brother Caine.
Our eyes met and he cut the wheel and started to fly right at me.
I could’ve backed up and saved myself… but I never backed down from anything.
The truck turned at the last second and the back tires threw dirt and pebbles up on my hood and windshield. Each one that pinged off the body of my eighty-thousand dollar car made me more angry, knowing even the smallest scratch would cost a fortune to fix.
Caine turned the truck so it faced the road. He backed up to keep the front of his truck off the road. He opened the door and climbed down.
Fucking Caine.
He was as tall as me, in fact all three of us were the same goddamn height.
He had longer hair than me, black as night. It was messy like he had rolled out of someone’s bed and came to meet me. Which was probably true. He had a dirty brown leather jacket on, jeans with a hole in the left knee, and he looked ready for a fight as he stood with his massive hands rolled up tight into fists. He had the leftovers of a black eye, probably from a hockey fight. He had a little scar above his left lip which made him always look like he was pissed off. That scar was my fault. He got mouthy with me once and I threw a rock at him.
I got out of my car and stood there with the door open, just staring.
It had been a long time since I’d seen my brother. I had no real intentions of seeing him again.
I shut the door and approached him.
I thought about my last conversation with him on the phone.
I had made a promise to him, hadn’t I?
Caine knew it was coming, but I’d like to believe I snuck it on him.
I threw my right fist with everything I had and slammed him in the jaw.
Maybe it was good genes or just years of abuse… both at home and on the ice rink… but hitting Caine was like punching a fucking wall. The second my fist connected with him all I could see was myself in surgery to repair my hand. I’d miss training camp. I’d miss the preseason. Fuck, I’d miss some of the regular season.
I yelled as Caine flew back and bounced off his truck, rolling toward the front.
But I wasn’t done yet.
I went after him and grabbed him by the back of his dirty ass leather jacket. I spun him around and cocked another fist back. Blood leaked down the corner of his mouth.
“Hey, brother,” he said. “Slade is coming up behind us.”
I looked back and saw the motorcycle in the distance.
I let Caine go and backed up to my car. I leaned against the side of it, folding my arms.
Slade looked even rougher than Caine did. He had a bucket helmet on, black sunglasses, and a beard. He wore a black hoodie with a leather cut over it along with dark jeans and black boots.
He pulled to the side of the road, his motorcycle growling like a hungry animal. He killed the engine and climbed off his motorcycle. When he took off his helmet he ran a hand through his hair. It was longer than mine but not as long as Caine’s. Slade had a little bit of a lighter color to his hair, which Caine and I used to our advantage as kids, convincing Slade that he wasn’t really our brother. We told him he was adopted and nobody ever really loved him.
We were all fucking assholes.
Slade’s leather cut had stitching and outlines of where there used to be patches sewn on. He was always a wild child, a freethinker, always looking to the horizon to chase it the fuck down because he wanted to believe something was there. Hell, there was only one thing that kept him half sane in this town, but she was off limits to him. She broke his heart as much as he broke hers.
But it wasn’t my business or situation to deal with.
Again, there was complete silence.
Slade looked at Caine then looked at me. He stepped forward and just like Caine, I knew it was coming. I braced myself but a punch is a punch.
Slade got me right on the left side of my cheek. I stuttered a step, just once, and touched my cheek. I could taste blood in my mouth. I spit a glob of blood on the ground.
“Good to see you too,” I said.
“Wait a second,” Caine said. “Roman hit me. Slade hit Roman.”
“Ah, fuck it,” Slade said.
Caine grabbed Slade’s hoodie and pulled him in as he threw a punch. He socked Slade right in the eye, sending him back.
Then we all just stood there, fists tight, ready to go wild. We all looked at each other, waiting for someone to make a move. I was the oldest of the three, the one who ha
d been the protector. I did shit for those two guys they never knew about and would never fully understand. Caine was the one who had our mother’s heart deep down inside. That’s why he made the calls to get us back together. And Slade… he was just the extra spark Caine and me needed to make crazy shit happen.
After only a few seconds of waiting, we all jumped at each other.
A fucking family reunion.
(Willow)
Ted stood behind his desk with a mound of paperwork that put mine to shame. He leaned on a stack of folders and loosened his tie.
“It’s not my business,” he said.
“It is if Roman is going to get into trouble. You dragged me into this, Ted. My job is on the line. If I can’t get to him and save him… I’m screwed.”
“We’re all screwed,” Ted said. “Nobody can control Roman. And when he gets tangled up with his brothers, forget about it. Imagine three of Roman.”
“Impossible.”
“Reality, Willow. Their father is sick.”
“Sick?”
“Cancer.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah, well, save the tears for someone else. Their father is not a good person. I can’t dish out Roman’s demons, I hope you understand that. But I also can’t imagine what he must be going through mentally. For the hatred he rightfully has for his father, it can’t be easy to know the man’s going to die.”
“He’s going to die?”
“Shit,” Ted said. “Stage four. There’s nothing doctors could do. I have to stop talking.” Ted stood up and rubbed his jaw. “I can tell you the town. I can give you an address to the house but that’s it. I wouldn’t go to the house. I doubt that’s where he’ll end up. My guess? Knowing the Knight brothers… they’ll meet up. They’ll fight each other. They’ll hug. They’ll have a drink. They’ll split up.”
“They fight each other?”
Ted smiled. “It’s their way of showing love.”
“A bloody nose over a hug?”
“Oh, they hug,” Ted said. “After the bloody noses.”
“Shit,” I said and shut my eyes.
I tried to piece more of the puzzle that was Roman together. I had gone from lawyer to babysitter to PR person to, what, psychologist?