by London Casey
I kept her right there and fucked her. My face was then buried in her chest, kissing her breasts, my tongue flicking against her nipples, loving the taste of her skin, sweat, her desire. Her hands pulled at my hair as she cried out. Her ankles were locked around my back, pulling as I fucked her.
She wanted it harder. She wanted it faster.
I turned from the wall, my cock still inside her. I walked her to the bed and put her down. Her legs were then up in the air. I grabbed her ankles and stood up, admiring the woman before me. Again, I never did that. I never gave a damn. I had a simple process - I’d taste… then I’d fuck… then she’d leave.
I never wanted Willow to leave. I wanted her to stay. Maybe forever. Maybe not.
I growled as I started to fuck her again.
“You like that?”
“Roman,” she groaned at me. “Yes, Roman.”
She reached down her sides and touched my legs. My muscles were flexed, hard as my cock, and there was no stopping me. I watched the way her sweet pussy took me over and over, my cock glistening with her wetness.
When I felt her start to come I thrust deep into her and then lifted myself. My cock was like a hook, reaching her wildest depths and pulling right where she needed to feel it the most. I had Willow’s body memorized already. When I made that move, she jumped, arched her back, and let out a wild yell. I repeated the same motion two more times before she collapsed to the bed. I felt her legs go weak and I let them go. I lifted Willow with my hands and crawled onto the bed. I turned her to her left side, my cock still inside her. She grabbed for the blankets with one hand and put her other hand to my chest.
I put a hand to her hip, feeling the natural curve of her body. My other hand cupped her breast, squeezing it tight. I then fucked her slowly. Taking my time as I pulled my cock almost all the way out of her and then driving it deep into her body. I never fucked like this. It was different. It felt amazing. When I felt myself almost ready to climax, I would ease up even more and calm myself. I loved looking at Willow from this angle. Thrusting again and again, having her.
Each time I barreled into her, Willow’s body would jump a little and she would groan. She looked at me, her eyes so pretty. She looked desperate, tired, worn out, but she was still wet. I wanted to make sure she would never forget me and never want to date another man. It meant that much to me. She meant that much to me.
“Roman,” Willow groaned. “Oh, fuck, it feels so good.”
“I know,” I said through gritted teeth.
Everything felt good with her.
The sex.
Being with her.
Just everything.
I leaned down and put my mouth to hers. I needed to kiss her as I fucked her.
My heart told me I was making love to Willow.
I refused to believe it.
I hurried and grabbed her ass, sliding my fingers to someplace forbidden. I teased and played, wanting to fight all my feelings of romance and love.
My right hand slid from her breast to her stomach and I held her.
I started to speed up again, needing to come.
She was killing me in the best way possible.
I was fucking falling in love with her.
(Willow)
Roman was next to me, his arm around me. We were naked and it felt right. My heart was still calming down from what he had done to me. Nobody had ever come close to doing what Roman did. The way he touched, thrust, pressed, lifted, pushed, pulled, everything. He was almost too good. The kind of good that would ruin me and the kind of good that had me officially in love with him.
He touched my hair and moved it away from my face.
“They were so opposite, sweetie.”
“Who was?” I asked.
“The old man and Ma,” he said.
Holy shit. He’s going to talk to me.
“How do you mean?”
“She was so good. So kind. She worried about everyone but knew when to keep her distance. That’s hard to do, you know? It was like you knew you could count on her but she wasn’t in your face. She could cook like nobody I ever met. I can still taste her food. She could just look at any of us boys and we knew to back down. I won’t lie, me, Caine, and Slade were a pain in the ass. We came straight from the old man, that was for sure. There was a fire inside of us all, like the world was ours to take. Ma used to keep that alive. She’d tell us we could do anything. Of course, Caine took that too seriously and tried to jump off the shed once. Broke his damn wrist like a fool.”
I smiled. “Boys will be boys.”
“I always knew there was something wrong with the old man,” he said. “I never found out what it was. Maybe his old man beat him. Who knows. But the thing was… we were prick kids, but all kids are pricks. We took our licks when deserved. But then he started for no reason. Just for fun. If you walked by him, he’d grab you by the shoulder and just throw you. I remember one time Caine walked into the bedroom, blood running down the side of his head. He was terrified. He wanted to cry but couldn’t. Because of the fear. I asked what happened and he said the old man pushed him into the doorway. Then he called Caine a fucking cunt for bleeding. I cleaned Caine up and he asked me what a cunt was.” Roman grinned. “I guess we just got too used to it. The little hits here and there. Then they got worse and worse. He started to hit us with objects. He started to set out to make us bleed. We started to hide and it became like a hunt for him. I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt Caine and Slade. I used to protect them. He’d get into this rage and just want to hurt someone. So I’d stay on top of Caine and hold him down while Caine cried. The old man would beat my bare back with a belt. I remember making fists and putting them to the floor. I flexed every muscle in my body and just take hit after hit after hit…”
Roman stopped, mouth open.
Fuck, my heart was breaking for him.
I had been waiting for him to open these gates and here it all was. The flood of pain and past for Roman.
I reached for his face and touched him. I nodded, telling him it was okay. It was okay to tell me everything. No matter what.
“It was that way for years,” he said. “I found football by mistake. Just like Caine found hockey. He got onto the ice and it was his escape. He felt like nobody could catch him when he skated. And with hockey comes fighting. He loves to fight. For Slade, he was always about the freedom. The escape plan. Looking to the horizon to get away. Always searching. I was the oldest so I had the first plan to get out. I’d play football, get a big contract, and get everyone out of there. I told Ma that a few times and she would smile and tear up. Maybe she never believed it but she never said it. I wanted to show her though. To protect her. To give her a million dollars and let her live happily. But that never happened. I couldn’t save her in time.”
“Oh, Roman,” I said. “I know…”
“He put her in that position,” Roman said. “He made her feel so hopeless. So unneeded and unwanted. She thought it was her only escape. He broke her. He mentally broke her.”
I turned to face Roman and slipped my arms around him.
“She kissed us all after dinner. The old man never ate with us. He watched TV and ate in front of it. She said she was going out in the backyard. I always knew my mother smoked. Probably her way of escape in a sense. That’s where Slade got his first cigarettes from. We all thought she was going outside for a smoke. Then the car started and she drove away. Just like that. The old man came into the kitchen and flipped. He dumped the kitchen table and took a swing at Caine, instantly blaming him for making her leave. I lunged at the old man and grabbed his hand. He turned and hit me. The next hour was an intense beat down. I pleaded with him to go find her. To bring her back. He told me I shouldn’t have been such a bad kid. He threw blame around as much as his fists. The entire time that was happening, she was driving around, waiting for her moment. I’d give anything to be there with her and just hear what she had to say. Even if the outcome remained the same, I wanted
to know… what was… going through her head…”
Roman cleared his throat and took a shaky breath.
I held him tighter. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t realize how bad it had been.
“She parked her car on a set of train tracks. She waited. That was it, Willow. That was it. It was after we went to bed when we heard a knock at the door. We knew better than to come downstairs, but I snuck halfway down. There was a police officer at the door, his hat in his hand. The old man broke down and cried. For all the hell he caused us, he had the nerve to cry.”
“Oh, Roman, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”
“Me too. But after that, we started to push back at him. He still hurt us but we were getting bigger, stronger, and faster. When I got my scholarship to college, Caine and Slade took off. Caine got drafted at seventeen and Slade laid low with some really rough crowds. He was basically chased out of Daystrom because of what he did. But that’s his story to tell, not mine. When we all had the chance to leave, we did so with a promise to stay away. We were all in such pain.”
“You love your brothers, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“Don’t forget that then.”
“We’re better off in our worlds. It’s easier. Less pain.”
We then just hugged each other. I never actually thought Roman would open up to me. But he did. He gave it all to me.
“You’re not him in any way,” I whispered. “I want you to know that. You’re a ruthless asshole, Roman Knight, but you are not him.”
“I feel that rage though,” Roman said. “I feel things inside me…”
I looked at him. “Then you talk to me about it. Okay? Promise me, Roman. I’m not going anywhere. You can give it all to me. I can take it.”
“Oh, sweetie, I know you can take it,” he said.
“Does everything go back to sex with you?”
“Everything,” he whispered.
I gently kissed him. Our lips were still barely touching. “I know why you do that with the money then.”
Roman nodded. “Guys like Shawn, they do that for attention. Maybe they have good reason. They brand themselves. They start clothing lines. Maybe the league helps to ensure our barbaric sport has a softer side. And good for him. He visits children’s hospitals and boosts the spirits of kids fighting battles no human should ever fight. But that’s not me. I’m not a good man. Or a good person. The money I sent to those organizations… I just picture my mother. If she could have had that one second of hope. Anyone who ever feels that alone inside should always get that one second of hope.”
Christ, he was killing me.
I felt my eyes fill with tears. I couldn’t stop myself.
Yeah, I wanted the world to see this side of Roman. Right here, right now. A man hurt and a man on a crusade. But it was almost more powerful that he shared it with me only and then took care of things financially without anyone finding out the truth.
To me that made him a good man.
I kissed him again as tears streamed down my face.
He then grabbed my face and his thumbs wiped my tears. “I can never promise you that I won’t hurt you. That’s what makes this hard for me. I can’t stop being who I am.”
“You won’t hurt me. Not like that. I know that.”
“How?”
“Because I love you, Roman. I’m in love with you. I’ve fallen for you. I trust you.”
Roman just stared at me. That was his moment to say it all back, if he felt the same way. His eyes were telling me something very different than his silence did.
“Do you really trust me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay. I have to go then.”
“What? Now?”
“Sweetie, what I just told you, I never told anyone in my life. Not even my brothers. We didn’t talk about it that much. I need to catch my breath.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to go to the gym.”
“It’s after midnight!”
“I don’t care.”
Roman climbed over me and pinned me down his rock hard body. He kissed me. He was still silent in the response I wanted so badly, but he nodded at me.
I watched him leave the bed, completely naked. Okay, that was a sight to see. I watched him get dress and he looked back at me again.
“Thank you, Willow.”
“I do trust you, Roman. Please…”
“Don’t beg,” he said. “That discredits your trust, sweetie.”
“Fine. I’ll just be waiting here, naked.”
“That’s what I want to hear.”
Roman left the bedroom.
His bed was massive and insanely comfortable.
But a sick feeling washed over me.
Something told me he was going to get himself into trouble.
(Roman)
I stood in the gym and stared at myself in the mirror. I turned on a set of lights over the free weights and held two sixties in my hands. I had been standing there for at least five minutes. My arms were sore. My shoulders felt like they were ripping from my body. I was shaking.
The worst?
Tears trickled down my face.
I couldn’t remember the last time I cried. Maybe not since Ma died. But even then, seeing the process of it all and the way my father acted, it fueled anger more than grief. There was no actual goodbye with her because she had been cremated and the funeral was everyone staring at a goddamn tin of her ashes. Obviously the way she had gone didn’t even give the option of having an open casket for a viewing.
My right hand clutched tighter. I curled the weight up. My bicep flexed and my muscles did their job, holding the weight. I did the same with my left hand. Then I stood there, arms curled, holding the heavy weights. I counted in my head.
… seven… nine… twelve…
The seconds collected.
My arms struggled. I hated struggling. Fuck struggling.
Fuck everything.
I let the weights down and then put them back. My arms were shaking uncontrollably. I leaned forward and really studied myself in the mirror. I had done all I could for my brothers. And my mother. If I had been bigger and stronger when I was kid, I could have fought him. I could have taken the old man and pushed him back. Hell, I could have killed him for the sake of my family.
But I was too young. Too weak.
I put my hand to the mirror.
I will never be weak again. Nobody will ever stand in my way. Nothing will ever take me down. Ever.
I sucked in a breath and made fists, jamming my knuckles into my eyes and wiped the tears away. I then grabbed seventies to curl.
Maybe I loved Willow. Maybe I really did. But that emotional shit was what made people weak. It broke my mother. She should have run but she got too involved with the old man. Married. Kids. A house.
I worked my arms until I couldn’t move them.
I knew Willow was still in my bed. She was naked, waiting for me. The sex was beautiful, just like Willow. Her body was just…
I couldn’t be in love. I couldn’t be in a relationship. I couldn’t do all that shit.
I had to be Roman, the warrior.
I sat down on a bench and gave myself a second to calm down.
I was going to beat up on my chest next. I wanted a bigger chest so I could absorb the hits better from the defense. I wanted them to hit me and hurt themselves.
My phone started to beep and I ignored it. It was either Willow, Ted, or Mackey. If it was Ted or Mackey then that meant Willow called them.
So much for trust.
The phone went off again.
I jumped up and rushed to my bag. I tore it open and grabbed my phone.
It wasn’t anyone I thought.
It was Tyler.
Fuck… that meant he was in trouble.
He was outside the same shit hole building, pacing back and forth, biting at his fucking nails. I kept my distance when I parked
and knew this was a huge mistake. Honestly, I just wanted to grab Tyler and get him out of there. I figured he blew the cash I gave him and was looking for more. That was my fault for letting him treat me like an ATM. That stopped now and he was going to go get the help he needed.
When I got within a couple feet of him, he looked at me. I could tell he was high. Not sure what he had taken, snorted, or shot up, but he was high. And he was paranoid.
“Where’s your crew?” Tyler asked.
He looked by my shoulders, his head bobbing right to left.
I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. “Hey, man, what’s wrong with you?”
Tyler swatted my hand away. “Fuck you. Answer my question. Where’s your crew?”
“My crew? I don’t have a crew.”
“I said to help me, man,” Tyler said. “You’re rich. You have a crew. Some boys that like to get rough.”
“What the fuck…”
“Come on!” Tyler yelled.
“Tyler, I don’t have a crew. I don’t do that shit.”
“When you go out…”
“You mean security?”
“Fuck yeah, man.”
“No,” I said. “They’re paid for a job. They aren’t some street friends that will take a fall for me.”
“Are you a street friend?” Tyler asked. “For me?”
He was so damn jittery. His legs were wobbly and he leaned against the building.
“Sure,” I said. “I’m your street friend. We go back, Tyler. Way back. Listen. Get in my car. I’ll get you out of here right now. I’ll get you security right now. Not here though. I’ll take you to my place. I’ll have guys there. Nothing can happen. I swear.”
The urge to take care of Tyler was insane. Had Willow done this to me? Made me feel guilt? Made me care? Tyler could dig his own grave.
“We need a crew here,” Tyler said. “I gotta do this now.”
“Do what?” I asked.
Tyler stepped from the building and pulled out a gun.
I jumped back and threw my hands up.
In hindsight I should have laid Tyler out right then.
But I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t want to kill him.
“What are you trying to do?” I asked. “You better put that gun down or I’m walking away.”