by London Casey
“No,” Mackey said. He put a hand out.
Ted grabbed Mackey’s arm. “Don’t fuck with me, Mackey.”
The two were ready to go at it in the back of the SUV.
“Both of you,” I said. “Calm the fuck down for a second. Ted, I’ll answer your question in a second. Mackey, what do you want me to say right now to you?”
“Nothing,” Mackey said. “I’m here to talk to you. My phone hasn’t stopped ringing since the news broke. Effectively immediately you are suspended for the entire season.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry. Robert came down hard. And he wasn’t alone.”
“What does that mean?”
“Ownership was involved. I can fight back against the league, but not the owners. You are now banned from all Dragon facilities, practices, camps, everything. They don’t even want you wearing a Dragons hat as a fan. I am arranging a face to face with them to try and talk more, but this is what I have to deal with. Which is why you need to answer Ted, Roman. You need to get a game plan together. I’m your agent. I look out for your best interests in this league. Right now, you have no best interests. I can’t argue murder to the Commissioner. Not when they sponsor football programs for low-income neighborhoods riddled with gun violence. Do you fucking get how bad this is?”
I looked away.
“Answer me,” Ted said.
“I want to talk to Willow first.”
“The pussy again?” Mackey asked.
Another string snapped inside me. I jumped forward and clocked Mackey in the jaw. I dragged him to the floor of the SUV and held him down. My mind went blank for a few seconds. I heard a muffled scream as Ted yelled at me. He grabbed me but couldn’t move me.
I could have killed Mackey right then but I didn’t.
I let him go.
He got back to his seat. He spit blood on the floor and grabbed his cell. “You know what, Roman? Fuck you. I got paid. You got paid. We’re done. Drop me off right here, I’ll call a fucking cab.”
And that’s exactly what happened.
It was completely awkward but I didn’t care.
It was all slipping away from me.
When the SUV started moving again, Ted asked, “Now what?”
“I need to see Willow,” I said. “End of discussion.”
“Jesus, Roman, you’re going to end up losing everything. You’re going to end up in jail.”
“Maybe that’s what I need then,” I said. “Time away from the world. Let it all pass me by and forget about me. I’ll do whatever I have to do to take care of my brothers though. You’ll do that, Ted. Set something up so they get money. And Willow, too. Whatever she was owed for all this, double it. Triple it. Make it so she could leave and forget about me. Let everyone forget about me.”
“Roman,” Ted said. He leaned forward and touched my leg. “You know, I’ve gotten too close to you. I want to help you. I genuinely want to help you. Even if you pulled that trigger, I can help you. You’re a fighter, Roman. You don’t give up on anything.”
“I’m not giving up,” I said. “I’m growing up. Time to face the music, Ted.”
I looked at him and he looked ready to cry.
He didn’t say a word.
“Call Willow,” I said. “I need to talk to her in person. Right now.”
My apartment was a mess outside. There was media, security, police everywhere. I shouldn’t have met Willow there but I had no place else to go. I couldn’t even go to the goddamn practice facility because I was banned from my own team and everything to do with it. And the league. It was all stripped away. Shoot first, ask later. How fucking ironic, huh?
I understood it though.
I know, people would tear me apart: It took someone being murdered for you to understand it?
No, it didn’t take that at all. I never intended for anyone to die. And I didn’t pull the trigger on the gun. It was my gun, but it had been stolen by Tyler. He took my gun and planned on killing someone with it. He assumed that my power and money could be used to keep me out of jail. Maybe it could work… but it was going to cost me everything else in life.
I got into my apartment and grabbed a beer and sat at the table.
I could hear them outside. They were all like bugs trying to find a meal.
The more people out there meant the bigger the story. I was left with nothing to defend myself with here. Unless I talked. Unless I stood there in front of whoever cared and listened to my words. That meant sharing personal things about myself and my life.
I sat in silence and waited.
The apartment door opened and there were two security guards, Ted, and Willow.
Ted held the door and Willow rushed inside. She was completely dressed down, leaving my dick instantly getting full, wanting her. Normally when I was in deep shit she came strutting in with her fancy clothes. But this was just regular Willow. The Willow I needed in my life. The Willow I loved.
She stopped walking halfway to the table.
I stared at her. She stared at me.
“I’m not starting this,” she said. “I’m no longer part of your legal team. I’m no longer part of any legal team.”
“What?”
“I warned you,” she said. “It was my job to watch you. I failed at that. They had pictures of us together in your car. They grilled me and I finally just said what I had to say about it. That we were sleeping together.”
“Oh, fuck, sweetie,” I said. I stood up. “It wasn’t supposed…”
“I stood right there,” she said and pointed to the painting on the wall. “I had a sheet wrapped around me. I called Scarlett to tell her I was proud of her for her paintings. She told me…” Willow shook her head. “The entire time I thought you were at the gym. I thought you needed a minute alone to process what you told me. I trusted you, Roman. Because I wanted you to trust me. Then I get a call and hear breaking news you’ve been arrested for murder.”
She stopped talking. I was willing to give her the rest of my life to yell at me. That was fine. I deserved it. But this? She didn’t.
“Sweetie, this is a fucking mess,” I said. I walked toward her. “I’m not going to stand here and beg you for anything. I’m not going to make excuses. Maybe it’s my time to take all the heat. The league has suspended me. The team has banned me. Everything related to me has been taken off sale. And I have the chance now to save someone’s life.”
“What?”
“Tyler. I let him down back in college. I let him slip and never helped. He’s always blamed me for it. I was selfish. All I could focus on was the prize which was the contract. I needed to be rich to get away from it all. Okay? The vision and desire was greater than anything I ever knew. I let Tyler down. He ended up in a car accident and couldn’t play again. I tried to help him by getting him a coach’s job but he wanted nothing to do with it. He’s got issues though. Drugs, gambling, that kind of shit. That’s what happened last night. He was trying to settle up on something. The gun used was mine. I didn’t know he took it from my car. He thought I was going to bring some guys and tangle up. I tried to fight him for the gun. Then I tried to fight three men. It was all done but then something happened. Both myself and Tyler were holding the gun when it went off.” I was close enough to touch Willow. “I didn’t pull the trigger but I also didn’t pull the gun away. I don’t know how else to explain it. Tyler can go get help now. He can go to rehab and fix himself. I can handle this.”
“And, what?” Willow asked. “Lose your career? Lose your freedom?”
“It’ll be payment for past crimes,” I said. “And it’ll keep me away from you.”
“Away from me?”
I touched her face. My body melted. It wasn’t just my cock that reacted to her. It actually hurt me. Pain. Real pain.
“I can’t bring you down,” I said. “I’m sorry, Willow. This is your chance. I’m going to make sure you get whatever you deserve and want so you can go anywhere and start over. I’ll ma
ke sure you find a new job and you’re happy.”
Willow shook her head. “That’s not how it works.”
“I’m demanding it.”
“You’re wrong, Roman.”
“I control this. Nothing can stand in my way.”
Willow grabbed my hand and placed it to her stomach. “You’re fucking wrong. You go to prison and you’re abandoning your family. Not just me.”
“Family?”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Roman, I’m pregnant.”
(Willow)
It was not the moment I had expected it to be. I hadn’t thought about marriage, family, babies, any of that stuff. My life seemed to be on a very different path. But even still, the moment was supposed to be deep and romantic, right? Two people sharing that bond of creating a life. My mind had been racing. If it was a girl, would she be stubborn and spunky like me? Would she grow up carefully negotiating reasons why she didn’t need to clean her room? Or, if it was a boy, would he be big and strong like Roman? Would he be a football player?
Instead of all the romance, it was tension.
Media was outside the apartment. Roman was on the hook for murder.
His hand touched my stomach and his eyes were wide.
“Say that again,” he said.
“I’m pregnant.”
“How…”
“Do you want me to describe what we did together?”
“And you weren’t…”
“I was,” I said. “But things got messed up.”
“Shit.”
“I’m not trying to put you in a spot here,” I said. “But if you want to go to jail for something you didn’t do, then I’m going to be alone in all this. And if you want me to leave the city or the state, then I’m alone. With your child.”
“My child.”
“Yeah.”
“You know, Willow, you could make a fortune off this,” he said. “The media is out there, waiting for the next fuck up.”
“This baby is not a fuck up,” I said. I reached up and stroked the stubble on his face. “I would never want to make a fortune off you. I’m not like anyone else, Roman. I trust you. And you trust me.”
Roman leaned forward and looked down at me. “I never meant to be there. Tyler called me and I was trying to do right by him. Trying to make everything up to him.”
“You can’t leave me,” I said. “You can’t leave us.”
Roman stepped back. “This is a lot, sweetie.”
“Murder, or a baby?”
He came at me again. His hands grabbing my face. His lips pressing to mine. His kiss was protection to my heart. His tongue darted into my mouth and I melted before him. My knees gave way as I clutched at his shirt.
But then he backed away again. “I have to go.”
“Go? Where?”
“I just have to go. I’ve got to sneak out of here and go.”
“Roman, what are you doing?”
“So you trust me?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Then don’t ask me anything.”
“No,” I said. “Last time you said that to me you ended up arrested for murder.”
“Yeah, sure, cut right into me, Willow.”
“You deserve it.”
“You deserve better,” he said. He pointed to my belly. “Both of you do.”
“So what are you going to do? Leave us? You think that makes you better than your father?”
His eyes went wide.
I shouldn’t have said that.
Roman walked right up to me and stared down at me. For a man so powerful and huge he looked beat up and hurt. But he was still standing. I could see the intention in his eyes. In his mind, whatever was going on, it made sense to him.
He then walked by me and opened the apartment door.
“Roman!” I yelled.
He ignored me.
“Ted, I need keys to get out of here. I need to go for a ride.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Ted said. “Stay here. Talk to Willow.”
“I did. I’m leaving. I have to fucking go.”
“Roman, calm down for a minute.”
“I’m done here!” he bellowed, getting close to Ted.
Ted backed down. He reached for a set of keys. “My car is in the back. Don’t crash it, Roman.”
“I won’t,” Roman said. He grabbed Ted’s shoulder and looked back at me. “Make sure she’s okay. Nobody talks to her. Nobody touches her. Understand me?”
Ted looked at me.
I guess Roman didn’t know Ted knew I was pregnant.
“Okay, Roman,” Ted said. “You realize the heat you’re in right now? This is bad.”
“I know it’s fucking bad,” Roman said.
“You have priorities,” Ted said. “Don’t forget that.”
“My team has left me. My league has left me.”
“I haven’t left you,” Ted said. “And neither has she.”
Ted pointed to me.
Roman looked again.
Maybe that was my chance to say something. The right words could have maybe convinced him to stay.
But I stood there. I stared at Roman.
I just stared.
I wanted him to come to me. I wanted him to be the warrior for us. Me. The life inside me. It was all new to me too.
“Just take care of it,” Roman said.
He took Ted’s keys and disappeared.
Two security guards ran after him.
My stomach flipped and I clutched my stomach. I stepped back until I hit a wall. Tears slid down my cheeks. Ted watched me but didn’t do anything. It wasn’t his job to help me. It wasn’t anyone’s job to help me. I was on my own.
“Willow,” Ted said. “What can I do right now?”
“Nothing,” I said. “He’s going to do what he wants. Forever.”
“Ah, shit,” Ted said. He stepped into the apartment and shut the door. “That’s Roman. That’s what he does. It’s what he’s always done. I’m sorry, Willow. You told him?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“That’s a tall order for him.”
“He wants to fall for this,” I said. “Whatever happened.”
“I don’t think he would ever do that to someone,” Ted said. “Not someone he didn’t know.”
“So it’s this other guy?”
“Roman carries a lot of guilt,” Ted said. “I’m sure you know that. I think he’s trying to fix things. And he’s probably doing it in the most fucked up way possible.”
“I see that.”
“Let me do something for you. Please, Willow.”
“Just get me to my place,” I said. “Okay?”
“Done. We’ll take the SUV. The driver is still waiting. You can handle a little more attention?”
I nodded.
We walked out of the apartment and were instantly bombarded by the press. If I had been dressed up a little, it would have been easier to walk. Together, Ted and I could have been representing Roman and his case. Instead, I tried to hide my face as people shouted at me about Roman, our love interests, and someone even had the nerve to suggest we were married and I was pregnant. I told myself not to react to anything.
By the time I got to the SUV, I was in tears again.
The SUV pulled away and I didn’t feel any better.
“Willow,” Ted said.
He held out a tissue.
I didn’t want a tissue.
Instead, I sucked in a breath. “I have another favor to ask.”
“Sure,” Ted said.
I looked at him. “This might cost you your job though…”
I sat on the floor with books, papers, folders, a giant mess all around me. I studied until my eyes felt raw and blurry. I drank water and coffee, but not too much because some website Scarlett sent to me said caffeine wasn’t good when pregnant.
Christ, there was so much I had to read and learn about myself. I had no idea what to expect or what to do.
I caugh
t myself constantly touching my belly without knowing it. It was weird because it felt like an almost maternal instinct kicking in. To protect my child. To do that, I had to protect Roman. From himself. From the world. From everything that had hurt him and everything that wanted to hurt him.
In my heart I believed we could be a family.
Even if I wasn’t a lawyer and he wasn’t a football player, at least we’d have each other. We’d have a family. I could give him something that was taken and he could do the same for me. Our lives would become about the baby.
A boy?
A girl?
Scarlett forced me to eat, literally lifting me off the floor and making me go to the table and sit there. She made some kind of weird ass salad and I asked her if she could do me a favor and just order a pizza.
She did and I went back to work.
“You need veggies!” she yelled. “The baby needs it for its brain! There’s so many studies…”
I had to ignore her.
I loved her, but I had to ignore her.
Back at work, on my hands and knees on the floor, I spread papers across the floor. At one point, I started to shake. My emotions caught up to me and I burst into tears. Of course that was the exact second Scarlett came into the bedroom with the pizza.
She put it down and fell to the floor, scooping me up, holding me.
I wept uncontrollably.
“Willow, you need to listen to me,” she said. “I know this may not be what you wanted in life, but it’s all a blessing. Take it as that. Please. I’ll always be here for you. I swear. You’ll never be alone. We’ll find a new place together. A three bedroom apartment. I’ll paint the nursery for you. Anything you want.”
“Thank you,” I said. “You’re a good friend, Scarlett.”
“Hey. Look at me.”
I looked up at Scarlett. “I look like shit right now.”
“We all look like shit,” she said. “When I turned eighteen I had a situation. I had some serious issues down there. Okay? My doctor told me I needed surgery and that I would never be able to have kids. Ever.”
I perked up. “Scarlett. I had no idea.”
“I don’t talk about it. My art is my offering. It’s all I can give. I may meet the perfect man some day but I’m going to have to talk to that perfect man and tell him I can’t give him the perfect life.”
“Oh, don’t say that.”