by Drew Sera
Is everyone looking for his guy? Jesus.
“I haven’t, Luke, but that’s who I’m looking for.”
“Do you know if he checked back in?” Luke asked.
“He’s been checked in for an hour or so.”
“Good, he must have been feeling better. He was in my rope class this afternoon and couldn’t concentrate. I called him on it and a few minutes later he apologized and handed me back the practice rope.”
I felt terrible about today. Paul fucked around with Anthony and got him turned around. I sighed and listened to Luke’s info on Anthony. He told Luke he wasn’t feeling well and need to lie down.
“I just wanted to make sure he was doing ok. Melissa told me tonight about the event in the dungeon with Paul. I think he was tripped up over that. He’s very young. Maybe it confused him on who he is. After Melissa told me, his behavior in class made more sense. Up until my rope class, I’ve never seen Anthony look bothered about anything. Saying he didn’t feel good was both a cover and truth. I think it confused him.”
Luke’s assessment was probably pretty accurate. I knew something triggered Anthony today, but I still didn’t want to reveal that to Luke.
“I made sure he took the rope with him, so he felt like he had to come back tomorrow. I didn’t want him to throw away the opportunity. He wants this badly, Blake.”
I nodded. I knew Anthony wanted this badly. I thanked Luke for keeping an eye out for Anthony, and I went in search of our most popular applicant. Thankfully, he wasn’t in the dungeon, though Paul was. I was happy that the two weren’t near one another.
Anthony was outside with Henry, overseeing some scenes in the pool. I was elated when I saw him with Henry. Henry was pointing out how to scour the lagoon pool as if it were a clock.
“Start at twelve and visually move around if multiple scenes are going on. Got it?”
“Got it,” Anthony answered.
“Hey, Blake,” Henry said.
“Gentlemen,” I said to the two of them.
“Evening,” Anthony said only briefly taking his eyes off the pool to greet me.
“Henry, do you mind if I borrow Anthony?”
“Go right ahead, I’ve got the lagoon under control.”
Anthony handed Henry back the play cards that he was holding for the couples playing in the pools. I led us down the walking path to begin my chat with him.
“Luke told me you weren’t feeling well and went back to your hotel for a while this afternoon.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I couldn’t concentrate. I wasn’t of any use here if I couldn’t focus on what was going on around me.”
“You were just feeling under the weather?” I paused hoping he’d answer, but he remained quiet. “Something like that?”
“Yes, something like that.”
Anthony was a stubborn young man, and I had a feeling that I could either accept him just as he was or try to push him. I knew pushing at him wouldn’t do any good. It would only cause him to retreat and pull away. But I still had some things on my chest.
“You don’t have to say anything back about what I’m going to say, Anthony. But I want you to promise me that you will listen.”
“I’ll listen.”
“I want to apologize to you about earlier today. I shouldn’t have permitted that to go on. I think something clearly didn’t sit well with you. Not only do I believe that it made you uneasy, but I think it may have confused you some. You second guessed a lot of things this afternoon, I imagine.” I paused, hoping he’d accept the fact that I understood to some degree what happened today. “Do you have any close friends in the lifestyle, Anthony?”
He was shaking his head when I looked at him, and he quietly said, “No.” I figured as much but was hoping I was wrong.
“So, you went to your hotel and second guessed a lot of what you thought you knew.” I stopped walking, and he also stopped and looked at me. “Anthony, don’t second guess yourself. You are the same man right now as you were this morning before you volunteered for Paul’s demo.”
Anthony nodded, and I could tell that I reached him. He may not have a lot to say back, but he heard me. We walked quietly back towards the club with faint moans in the distance, coming from the pool no doubt.
“Thank you, Blake.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Anthony. I was merely telling you something that you already know to be true deep down.”
“I mean, thank you for your time. You didn’t have to come find me and talk to me tonight, but you did.”
I looked at him while I thought about what he was saying. Anthony would really benefit from the mentoring program. He just needs a little guidance and support, and he will soar.
“You’re most welcome.”
When I got home, I sat up for a while and talked with Cathy about her day. The ladies had a great afternoon filled with coffee and the art exhibit. Cathy accompanied Tim and Dana for dinner since she knew I would be very occupied with the applicants.
"Blake," Cathy said, her tone sounding concerned.
"What, darling?"
"What's wrong? Before you deny it, I can tell you're distracted. You seem bothered. Is it the applicants?"
I sighed slowly and let my body relax down onto the sheets. Having been with Cathy for so many years, I knew she could read my body well.
"Many things are on my mind with regards to the applicants. They're all very interested in Anthony Graves."
"I've seen him. He's a good looking guy. Very young and quiet. I don't think I've heard his voice much. He’s the one with that terrible scar on his side."
I nodded.
"He speaks very well. He's passionate about learning, and he has a sincere desire to learn rope. Luke liked him and spent a little time with him this afternoon."
"Then what's the problem? It sounds like most of the Masters and Mistresses would be willing to work with him."
As Cathy snuggled up to me, my mind wandered off to the events of the day. Paul's behavior was mind blowing to me. I've never seen him act that way and I can't imagine what I'd have on my hands if Paul were paired up to mentor Anthony.
Henry would possibly be good for Anthony, though he is very much a sadist. I know it's terrible for me to think, but I'm concerned that if Anthony starts hanging out and learning from sadists, that he may follow in that direction. I don't pick up on him being into that at all. While I thought Anthony was very level headed, I believe he's still searching for something. And I don't want him latching onto something that someone influences him to like.
And that is my fear with many of our Masters and Mistresses taking Anthony on. Since Anthony is so open to learning and trying new things, I worry he could be manipulated easily. My Masters and Mistresses were all incredible at mind manipulation for scenes. But I'm concerned that they could inadvertently direct him in a particular direction. All of the other applicants were in their late twenties or early thirties. Most of them had many years of experience in the lifestyle and knew for certain what their kinks were. Anthony is still discovering who he is.
I thought back to earlier when Paul was able to get Anthony restrained by the cable system. Paul asked for volunteers, knowing damn well that Anthony would most likely volunteer. He got Anthony where he wanted, and that was within minutes during a demo. Shit. I can't imagine what he'd do if he had Anthony under his wing to mentor full time.
And I still felt guilty over that whole fucking thing. I should have stopped it sooner than I did. When I saw Anthony’s hands and how red they were, gripping the rope above his head, I knew Paul pushed him too far. And the poor kid was turned around and left. Something Paul did triggered that reaction.
Hell. That reminds me that I didn't even look at his back tonight. I did stop in at the first aid station, and they had the record of treating his back this evening.
I woke up to Cathy sucking my cock. She sucked me until I came, and the stress of the decisions I needed to make came rushing back.
"Tha
nk you, darling."
"I can tell you didn't sleep well."
Cathy and I spoke more while I got dressed and then carried our conversation to the patio for coffee.
"So, what are you going to do, Blake?" she finally asked me.
"It's dangerous for Anthony's own health to be there, darling. I'm going to listen to the Masters and Mistresses today and see what they have to say."
Cathy kissed me and said, "You'll know what the right decision is."
When I got to Irons, I joined all the Masters and Mistresses in the main room for our discussion on which applicants we were admitting and which ones we were passing on. We had twenty-one names on the list and within the hour had knocked it down to ten. Each Master and Mistress now had to justify their top three picks. As I looked over the list that indicated their top three, every single one had Anthony in the first spot. Fuck.
Everyone went around the room and spoke for a few minutes about why they wanted Anthony and why they deserved to have him assigned to them. Most of their responses included that because he was so young, he didn't have many preconceived notions. So, there would be little reconstruction of him.
"We can teach him the correct and safe way to do things," Melissa said as many others agreed with her statement.
I began reconsidering Anthony. Maybe he would be okay with two or three Masters and Mistresses. He was a strong young man and had been the only one who stood up to Paul and told him 'no' when asked to remove his clothes. It was finally Paul's turn to speak.
"I like the guy. Since he hasn't had a lot of experience, little is tainting his mind. He has a dark streak in him, and I think I could really help him hone in on his direction."
I interrupted.
"Are you sure you know what his direction is, Paul?"
"I know what it should be. He might discover that he belongs on the other side of the slash. Or at least, walking in those shoes for a bit might help him to find his own path. Maybe he needs to administer pain…or receive it," Paul said.
"Nothing is indicating that he’s a sadist," I said while trying to keep my cool.
"He might be a masochist. He may have come during the flogging yesterday, had I been permitted to continue," Paul said with a smug look on his face before leaning back in his chair.
Melissa spoke up and said, "No, he wasn't enjoying that."
"I was giving him something that maybe he needed. I was giving him something that was maybe new to him. Isn't that a part of the learning process? Trying new things until you find something you like?"
"I think you're wrong, Paul," Melissa added and then turned to address the rest of the group. "His body was tense, and when the belt made contact with his body, he gripped the rope for all it was worth."
"He might have enjoyed it, Melissa! It might have been a brand new experience for him that made him hard," Paul said in frustration.
"Or a familiar experience with an adverse reaction," I added quietly.
Everyone turned to look at me, and I nodded at them.
"You may have given him a new experience with the floggers, but I think the belt was a familiar one. I have nothing to confirm that other than how I saw him react to it. The belt triggered that young man. Had you checked with him about limitations before your demo and let him know what the demo would entail, I don't think he would have volunteered," I said calmly.
"He wasn't making any noise that made me think he wasn't enjoying it," Paul still was trying to get others to side with him.
"Noises aren't necessarily indicators that one isn't enjoying something. Like Blake said, you may have resurrected an old experience. I think as Doms, we tend to believe that we have to be strong and can't show any weakness or discomfort. I can completely understand the reasoning behind him staying quiet. Would that have been the right way? Probably not, but remember he's very young and in the frame of mind that he's got to be strong," Master Richard said.
"He left my rope class yesterday afternoon. Had I known at the time what happened in the dungeon, I wouldn't have let him leave," Luke added.
Paul threw his hands up in frustration and glared at me.
"I tried to apologize in case I hurt his little feelings, and also tried to see if Anthony needed anything, but I was denied that right to provide care," Paul threw back at me.
"You wouldn't have provided care. It would have made it worse. I stepped in for his well-being. And I am having serious reservations about admitting Anthony into this program."
In near unison, everyone began complaining and trying to reason with me. I held my hand up. I was done listening to everyone and told each of them to make their final determinations over the next few days and have their requests submitted to me as soon as possible.
Irons was closed tonight to guests as we had a little party for all of the applicants. Most of the applicants were mingling with others, and Master Richard was doing a wax demonstration with Mistress Melissa. I scanned the room looking for Anthony and saw him sitting by himself on a couch. As I sat down across from him, I saw that he was messing with some rope.
As the party came to a close, I thanked all of the applicants and let them know they'd be contacted within the week with an answer.
"Remember, if you're not selected, please take advantage of the classes and seminars we offer. You can always learn something new."
All of the Masters and Mistresses stood in the lobby with me, and we shook all of the applicant’s hands as they left. I knew this would actually be the last time that I probably see many of these people.
Anthony now stood in front of me and extended his hand.
“Thank you for the opportunity, Blake.”
His eyes were trying to tell me what he seemed to be struggling with.
“You’re welcome, Anthony. I’m glad you applied and went through the process with us.”
He nodded, looked out towards the parking lot and then back at me.
“I heard everything you said to me. It meant a lot to me that you took the time that you did. Thank you, Blake.”
He nodded a gesture of gratitude and walked out of Irons. I watched him get into the cab that was waiting for him, and as it drove away, I kicked myself for not having offered him a ride.
As I drove home, I thought long and hard about Anthony and how grateful he was for me just giving him the little time that I had.
Anthony said so much to me with the phrase I heard everything you said to me.
I walked into the house smiling because I knew that I had an impact on him.
Chapter Nine
April 1996
I was full of a mixture of defeat and anxiety. Looking back at my actions this weekend, I realized that I shouldn’t have left Saturday after I fucked up in the rope class. I just knew I wasn’t clear and that I couldn’t take part in the shadowing of the dungeon monitors without a clear head. While I know it was the right decision for me to clear my head before taking on that responsibility, I think it probably cost me a spot in the mentorship program.
On my way to my room, I lost a grand at a fucking blackjack table. Fuck. I pulled my clothes off and stood near the couch, looking over the room service menu. I called down and placed the order for a bacon burger, fries, and a few Cokes.
Supposedly I had twenty minutes before my food would arrive. I had plenty of time to take a shower. As I stood in the shower and let the warm water slide down the front of my body, I wondered how long it'd be before I heard for sure. Blake said I'd be notified by next Saturday. This was going to be a long week.
It wasn’t as though I'd be short of anything to do. I had final exams coming up in two weeks. Crunch time and I needed to hit the books. While I ate, I pulled out one of my books and began pouring over the material. I was reading the same paragraph for the third time when the phone rang and startled me.
"Fuck," I swore out loud.
Why do phones ringing in hotel rooms sound so creepy and alarming?
"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver and grabbed
my Coke to chase down some food I had just shoved in my mouth.
"Anthony, it's Blake. I'm sorry to catch you at such a late hour, but do you have a few minutes?"
Fuck!
I pushed the chair back from the table and began pacing.
"No problem at all, Blake."
"Were you already sleeping?"
"No, just eating dinner and studying.”
"Dinner? It's well after midnight."
My heart was pounding. I was hoping he called to tell me the news; good or bad.
"The reason for my call is of course about the mentoring program. I know it's late so I'm not going to drag this out."
"Ok," I said while staring at the floor, ready for the news.
"I'm going to mentor you."
Not only was I being accepted into the program, but Blake was going to mentor me. I'm sure there'd be others helping, but fuck I didn't care. I was in!
"Are you still there, Anthony?"
"Yes! Sorry, yes, I'm here. I'm just...wow...this is great news. Thank you so much. I don't know what to say. I'm kind of in shock here."
Blake laughed and continued.
"Are you flying home tomorrow?"
"Yes, flight leaves in the afternoon."
"Do you have a pen?"
I raced to my notebook and grabbed a pen and put it on a piece of paper.
"Yes."
He gave me his address and asked me if I would be able to be at his house in the morning. I told him I'd be there whenever he wanted, and we agreed on eleven in the morning. I hung the phone up and stared out the window over the glittering lights.
I was in!
Chapter Ten
April 1996
As I expected, a few minutes before eleven I received a call from the gate guard letting me know that Anthony was here. I had already called the front gate this morning to let them know I was expecting Anthony and for them to let him in, but to notify me, too.
"Anthony is here, darling," I announced.
Cathy joined my side as I opened the door. I greeted him as I shook his hand and Cathy invited him in. He had his suitcase with him and set it down in the entryway. Cathy walked ahead of us as we made our way to the kitchen.