“Are you messing with me?”
Mo’ata chuckled. “Just a little.” He cupped her cheek. “I am happy to date you, shopa. And when you are ready to propose for real, know that I will say yes.”
Some of the tension left her at that reprieve. She’d learned and experienced so much in the last year, but this romantic-emotions stuff was still way out of her comfort zone. She would tackle it, like she had the rest of her List. In fact, that was now a new item: Successfully build her own mini-harem with Mo’ata and Forrest.
“How can you be so sure?” she asked. Part of her needed the reassurance. It had not been easy putting her feelings, her hopes, out there like that.
“Because I cannot imagine my life without you somewhere in it. Do you know what I was planning to do once we had found the last crystal and Phillip? I had planned to find you. I knew I wanted you. I will do the dating with you. We will learn the little things about each other, like you have been able to do with Forrest.” He twisted and cupped her face with both hands, his thumbs lightly stroking her cheeks. “I know the big things, Blue. Those don’t change. I will say yes.”
Blue swallowed, her throat tight. She felt tears gathering but was baffled as to why she would cry. Emotions. Definitely confusing. She leaned forward and rested her head on his chest. It was awkward; they were still sitting and half-turned to each other, but she didn’t care. Something about this man evened her out.
After a full five minutes, she collected herself and sat back. Meeting his eyes, she dove in. “So, about going to Filiri. I really do think it would be a good idea if I went.”
“No—”
“Please, just listen. It’s the same as last year.” She paused. “Month, whatever. It is the same. I’m the excuse. You can be more open in your search, use it to flush them out. If we do pretend to be a possible prida in the making, it allows you and the others to work more closely together. You use me as bait.” His expression closed down, but she ignored it, pushing through. “You know that Phillip had some sort of fixation on me; that’s why Trevon took me in the first place.”
“I do not want you in danger.”
Blue snorted. There was nothing else to say to that.
“It is my life-debt,” he continued. “I am the one who has to repay it.”
Well, that was new. “Life-debt?” Her side cramped, and she shifted so she could sit sideways, one leg up on the cot.
Mo’ata cleared his throat and glanced away before looking back to her, his reluctance obvious.
“What?”
“I gave the Prizzoli a promise. I will help him get all the crystals back. My debt is not discharged until then.”
“But why do you owe a debt?” This didn’t make sense to Blue; there was something he was leaving out. He gripped the edge of the cot, avoiding her eyes once more like a little boy caught doing something he shouldn’t. Unlike a little boy, this was not cute.
“Mo’ata?” Blue tried for stern, but it came out a little too pleading. She didn’t like him keeping something from her that was obviously important.
He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. “A life-debt is incurred when the shopa, the Heart of the prida, is threatened and someone outside of the prida protects her.” When he finished, he looked right at her, his gaze once more direct, trying to tell her something.
She still wasn’t getting it. Mo’ata was not part of a prida. How would he owe a life-debt to Levi? He continued to watch her, and her confusion grew. “It’s you, Blue.”
She recalled the incident at the Ministry, how Levi had come to her rescue in the alley. She’d barely known Mo’ata then; why would he have taken on a debt for her? Wasn’t that jumping the gun a little? Of course, she’d trusted him almost from the beginning and had practically fallen in love with him in a week, so who was she talk? Then it came to her, the memory of the first time he’d called her shopa, on a dark night in the middle of a forest, bare days after meeting her.
For a moment she felt overwhelmed, unworthy of this amazing man. And ashamed she couldn’t just dive in with him. “I… have no idea what to say. Ummm, thank you?”
Mo’ata’s eyes widened, and he laughed loud and long, holding his stomach and bent nearly double. When the laughter died down, and he stayed bent, Blue poked his shoulder. “You okay?”
He finally straightened, nodding at her. “I am fine. And you are very welcome.” The serious face was back, but so were the eye crinkles.
“I still don’t understand why the life-debt means I can’t help.”
“It is my debt.”
“That you incurred because of me.”
He didn’t respond, but the smile left his eyes.
“I’m going with you.” She poked his arm to make her point.
Still he didn’t say anything.
“Mo’ata, I am going with you. You know I can help. Plus, I’m not as helpless as I was. I’ve been working on it. I’ve taken some self-defense lessons and even some ‘take you out’ lessons. I only got to level two in my Krav classes, but it’s something. I also practiced riding when I could, and Forrest has been teaching me some of what his father taught him about camping and hunting. I can build a damn fire on my own now.”
His face had taken on a stubborn cast as she spoke. “I never thought of you as helpless. Out of your element, yes, but never helpless.” He pulled one leg up onto the cot and leaned back, matching her posture and facing her fully. “I can’t let you do this. It is my debt. I do not want you in danger for me.”
“There is so much wrong with that statement I don’t know where to begin.” He raised his brows and she matched him. “Fine. I came back for you, Mo’ata. For you, but for me as well. I missed you, but I missed this place and the possibilities.” She gathered her courage and said the rest of what needed saying, the decisions she hadn’t told him yet. Time to woman up. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I had a whole year. Did you know Forrest was actually the one to suggest we try coming back? I love him, but I couldn’t forget about you. He knew that.”
His mouth tightened, like he held back from saying something.
She waited, but when he didn’t speak, she continued. “I had a year to sort through some things. I’m here to try this with you, you know that. I’m here to see if there is something real between us, or if it was just the circumstances.”
“It—”
This time she didn’t wait. She needed to get this all out. “That’s not the only reason I’m here. If this doesn’t work between us, I know I have Forrest. One of the main things I love about him is he has never once treated me like I’m delicate or can’t take care of myself. He warns me, cautions me, then he helps me. I do the same for him. We’re partners.” Mo’ata’s brows lowered, and his eyes narrowed, studying her. His expression was almost completely closed off now, and she looked away. “I want to have that with you as well.” Her throat tightened on this last, the words strangled. She struggled to get out the last part. “That night, on the way to the capital, I thought you understood.”
MO’ATA
Mo’ata looked down at Blue. She was right. That night he’d found a kindred soul in the small, blue-haired girl. He thought it may have been then that he loved her, even if he didn’t realize it at the time. It had torn him up to continue with the plan to use her as bait at the Ministry. Then she’d been chased, rescued, and finally kidnapped. When he’d gotten her back, he hadn’t wanted to let her out of his sight. When she’d returned to Earth, he had taken comfort knowing she was back on her own world, safe, while he searched for the last crystal.
She wanted a partner. He wasn’t sure what that meant. Fellow clansmen he patrolled with—they were partners. Felix, in his own way, was a partner, especially when their assignments took them in similar directions, as they did now. Levi had been his partner for the last few weeks, working with him to track down Etu, Phillip, and the remaining crystal.
The shopa was the heart of the prida. It did not exist without
her. She was not a mere partner. She was the heart. It was different. Once you committed to your one, she was yours to protect, and you were hers to lead and govern. It was their way, as it always had been. The Heart looked out for all the members of the prida, taking care of them, governing and overseeing the running of the camp and daily life. It was the warriors’ job to ensure safety and provide for the clan. There was balance, yes, but was that a partner?
In a way, he did know, though, didn’t he? As she’d said, that night in the forest, her adventurous side had called to his own. He struggled. The traditions of his clan were very clear. And though he had never been content with those traditions, they were still what he knew and, to a large degree, what he believed. Blue’s idea of partners appealed to the side of him that had never quite felt at home in the clan.
He had never had this much trouble reconciling the two parts of himself as he had in that moment.
He studied the woman before him. The girl from a month ago had changed. What he could see of her body was firmer, more streamlined. Her face had thinned, just a little. It was still delicate, soft, but her strength showed through now. She showed so much courage in being honest about her emotions and wants; he could do no less.
“I understand some of it, but the idea of the shopa being a partner is not something I have really thought about. For the clans, the shopa is the heart, the key. Everything revolves around her, and protection is a priority. But I know how you feel about wanting more. I feel the same way.” She looked back up at him, cautious but hopeful. “I will try, Blue. I don’t know how it will work—if I can do it. But I will try.”
She gave him a small smile. “That’s all I want. I want you to try. I don’t know how this is supposed to work either, you know? We’ll have to fumble through somehow. Though, I am glad we broke the ice on the subject.” Her eyes widened, and she reached into the front pocket of the pants she wore, pulling out a small coin and holding it out to him. It was a tripi. One he had given her. “I’ll make you a deal. I’m cashing in my ‘sorry.’”
Mo’ata tensed. Was she going to use it to force him to take her to Filiri? He held his tongue, letting her continue.
“In return, I want you to really look at whether or not Forrest and I being there would help. Really look at it. I’m pushing this partly because I want to learn more about where my father came from and this world and partly because I don’t want to be apart from you now that I’m here. Mostly, though, I’m sure I could help.” She sat forward and reached for his hand, placing the coin in his palm. “Think about it, okay? If you decide Forrest and I can’t help, that we’d be more of a liability than anything, we’ll stay behind. I can go ahead and travel to the capital. I’ve got to see the dean and sort out what to do about the Ministry and Academy anyway. You come find me when you’re done.” She closed his hand over the coin and stroked her thumb over the back of his hand. “All I want you to do is think about it, but be honest with yourself. I’ll do what you decide.” She placed a small kiss on his knuckles and then left him to his thoughts.
After a while he gave up. He couldn’t separate his need to protect Blue from her ideas of how she could help. He couldn’t look at it objectively. Frustrated, he left his tent and searched until he found the one assigned to Felix and Levi.
He suspected Felix was interested in Blue as well, though it was hard to get a true read on the man’s emotions. Despite meeting him when Mo’ata had joined the Order and teaming up with him on assignments, Mo’ata did not know much about him. He was always ready with a laugh and had an easy way about him, but when conversation headed into the personal, there was always a reserve, something holding him back from deeper connections. Mo’ata couldn’t recall one time Felix had spoken of family or friends back on Cularna.
It had surprised Mo’ata when the mercenary requested to learn English. He suspected the big man would vote to have her come along just for the sake of having her around to tease.
Levi, he knew, would be the most objective. He was dedicated to his purpose and his people. The longer the crystal remained out in the world, the more anxious the Prizzoli became. The few times Mo’ata had asked about it, the other man had just claimed that it was too dangerous. An understatement if he had ever heard one.
Mo’ata threw aside the entrance flap and sat down heavily at the table across from the two men. They looked at him expectantly. Had they been waiting like this the whole time? Probably.
Felix was the first to speak. “So, how did it go with the little pet?”
Mo’ata growled. “Don’t call her that.”
The mercenary laughed. “Why not? She’s little and cute and makes you want to take care of her. Loyal, too. Plus, she does not seem to mind the jest.”
Mo’ata glared at him and was rewarded with a grin. “That does not help.”
Levi rapped his knuckles on the table, grabbing their attention. “What happened?”
“She cashed in one of her coins.”
This got another laugh out of Felix. Mo’ata had told him about the “sorry” coins once when they’d been practicing English and Mo’ata had been missing Blue more than usual. Levi just looked puzzled.
“She said that she and Forrest would stay behind, go on to Tremmir and the Academy, if I could honestly tell her that her presence in Filiri would be a liability.”
“Then it looks like we have a new plan. I, for one, enjoy the idea of being part of her pretend potential prida.”
Mo’ata glared at Felix. He had a feeling he’d be doing a lot of that. “It’s not that simple. It puts her in danger. I cannot use her like that again.”
“The cover would be useful.” The Prizzoli looked thoughtful. “The Filiri region, they can be insular?”
Honesty compelled Mo’ata to answer. “Yes, they can be. They are not unfriendly, but they tend to handle their own affairs. Felix and I have contacts there, though. It will not be a problem.” This last was more out of stubbornness; there would be problems gathering enough information, especially for him. The northerners did not deal well with the clans—too much bad blood, though the reasons were mostly forgotten. He sighed. “Actually, me being of the clans will be an issue. Felix would be best to take point once we enter the region.”
Levi nodded in acknowledgment. “I think they would be useful.” He stretched in his seat. “There is another factor to consider. What if Phillip hears she is back and heads to the capital to find her? From what we’ve learned, he has a fixation on her. She may be safer with us, even acting as bait. We can keep an eye on her better if she is with us.”
Mo’ata stilled. None of that had occurred to him. Damn objectivity had completely flown out the window.
The two sides of him were suddenly in agreement. Blue wasn’t leaving his sight. Felix, watching him carefully, was the one who said it. “Looks like the little pet is coming with us.”
He sighed. “I told you. Do not call her that.”
BLUE
Blue left Mo’ata where he sat, staring at the coin in his hand. Her own thoughts were in turmoil, and she had her own sorting out to do. She didn’t understand what he wanted from her. And, unfortunately, they didn’t have time to sort it out. He was leaving soon to finish this business with the crystal. Hopefully she and Forrest would be with him. Either way, now was not the time to get caught up and embroiled in melodrama.
She sought out Forrest. He was in their tent section feeding the cubs.
He looked up as she entered. “How’d it go?”
She took a seat on the cot, petting Garfield when he bounded over to her, abandoning his meal. The little ones were barely a couple weeks old. Already, in just the last few days, they had become more mobile, getting into all kinds of mischief. Well, when they weren’t sleeping. She picked him up, cradling him against her chest, and felt waves of reassurance coming through their bond.
“This is not going to be nearly as easy as I thought,” she murmured.
“You thought this would be easy?”
Her cheeks heated. “Not really. I guess I was just so concentrated on getting here and finding him again that I didn’t think enough about how this would work. The last few days have been eye-opening, to say the least.” She scratched Garfield behind one of his ears, enjoying the little wheezing purr he let out. “I told him that if he honestly thought we would be more hindrance than help, we would head on to the capital and get ourselves sorted with the Ministry and Academy and let him and the others deal with the crystal and Phi.”
“You okay with that?”
Was she? “Mostly, but I’ll be really disappointed if he decides we shouldn’t go with them.” She’d be disappointed in more than one way, but she trusted his judgment—and him. They’d made a deal. If Mo’ata really thought she and Forrest would be a liability, then she’d keep working until her skills were such that she could help.
Forrest sat beside her, reaching over to stroke Garfield’s nose. Vivi cried out from where she sat at his feet, then started climbing his leg. Forrest grimaced and picked her up. “Little claws.” They sat in silence, petting the cubs and enjoying their purrs.
“So,” she finally said. “A lot of things were discussed. Apparently I almost accidentally proposed. He said yes.”
Forrest snorted. “Told you.”
“I’m… not sure I’m ready to go quite that far. Upshot, we’re going to date.” She needed to be clear on this, make sure everyone was on the same page.
“Is that what it’s called now?”
“Please don’t make me smack you.” She twisted her head and studied his profile. A shaft of light from the setting sun snuck through a gap in the tent’s side and slashed over his face, bringing out the golden tones in his skin and hair. They’d need to light the lamps soon, but for now, this was perfect. “That means that we’re going to date too, you and me.”
Beyond Blue Frontiers (The Adventures of Blue Faust Book 3) Page 7