This is when I fell over that ledge, that cliff that hung over only darkness and broken things; that abyss which I would find so impossible to climb out of, for I was too broken to do so; broken in a way that could never really be fixed.
A bellow of rage, guttural and feral, the cry of a wild beast, rang out through the trees, across the land. It was the sound of heartache, of fear and rage and crumbling things. I was off handedly aware that it had come from me, and that my arms were rising, my hands clenched into fists hard enough to make my palms bleed. I squeezed them harder and harder still, raising and raising what felt like bloodless extremities to the star-flecked ink high above. My rage and pain and guilt, what seemed like countless years of it, a dark and brilliant force that had been forced into a box too small for too long, came pouring out of me, and I commanded it.
Around me the Lamias had released my people and were ripping at the hair on the sides of their own moon-lit temples, their shark’s mouths snapping shut, open, shut, open, the yawning jowls of demons. Their shrieks, high-pitched and wonderfully agonized, rang out in my ears, in my soul. I squeezed harder, harder, harder still. Drinking in their beings, sucking them dry the way they had done countless others. But it wasn’t blood I was after. That would have been a mercy, and I was fresh out.
The Lamia’s bodies collapsed to the ground in unison, their cries cut off and disappearing on the breath of the wind. I felt a wild rush of energy, watched as whatever force gave the damned creatures their existence found a new home in me. My body stood ramrod still, strong as waves of it seemed to swell and crash over me. My companions were rocking back on their heels, eyelids fluttering, sharing in the sensation, my name falling from their lips in whimpered gasps, the way one might say that of their Maker. The dead Lamias on the ground began to fade, the way chalk does if swiped with a dry cloth.
And then the Lamias were gone. Just gone. I had ripped the very essence of life from the shells that contained them, separated the physical from the metaphysical, stolen the recycled energy that never truly belonged to anyone. I’d killed them. And, yes, it had felt good.
When I began to move forward, my legs feeling like weightless buoys drifting in a sea of thick, dark waters, I felt my people move with me, as if tugged along on leashes, Simon gathering Bethany into his arms once more without having to be told. None of them had to be told.
The pain of Daniel’s departure was still throbbing within me, pulsing and heating like the fresh wound that it was. No tears fell from my eyes, but I felt those of my companions as truly as if they were rolling, wet and warm down my own cheeks.
And none of them blamed me. Worse yet, they all regarded me with that wonder and undeniable devotion that I was so clearly unworthy of. Worse still, I couldn’t seem to find it in me to care. And worst of all, I wanted more.
Only when my gaze settled on Daniel’s lifeless body—his brown hair lying dully and limply over his forehead, his once-warm brown eyes staring heavenward, as if the light had that once filled them had returned there—did I take pause. I felt something then, not the ripple of souls around me, not the thrum of life that coursed silently through space, or the almost sweetly sickening adoration of my followers, or even King William’s red anger and hatred back in the Queen’s office. I felt something physical, and it seemed to zip me back from wherever I’d been, which somehow seemed to be a high place, in every sense of the word, and push me over the edge of nothingness, where only broken things lay, all at the same time.
My stomach clenched. Hard. I felt my legs, which had been of no consequence and so sure just a moment ago, go as soft as heated butter. I collapsed to the ground, the dirt and roots and sandy earth that were beneath my feet meeting me head-on and cold, very cold. I felt these things too, along with the sharp pains that accompanied them. But as I stared up through the thick trees and beyond, seeing so much more than just needles and branches and sky and stars, I knew that the physical pain was not so much a bad thing. In fact, I welcomed it. It seemed to clear my head, only a little, but enough for me to know that killing the Lamias the way I had, removing them in such a simple and basic and forbidden manner, had only left me hungry for more, had opened a dark box inside of me that would not be so simply closed.
The pain in my knees, my neck and head, and everywhere else was something I could deal with, something that I understood. And, no, it wasn’t bad at all. I had to fight this urge, this rooted inclination to keep taking and taking, stealing and stealing the life energy that did not belong to me.
It doesn’t ever belong to anyone, whispered a voice in my head. Not really, so why shouldn’t you take it. Why shouldn’t you—
I closed my eyes.
And saw sunlight. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. I recognized it as that thing I’d seen in the distance, the thing that my companions had wondered at. It was nearer me now, and somehow I felt like I should know it, that the answer of what it was should have been obvious, and yet I had not even the slightest spark of what that answer was. I could almost taste the warmth of it, like drops of sunlight on my tongue. I could touch it now, even though I was still too afraid to let my mind completely free once more. It was still too hungry. But that bright, burning life was so close now. And if I just reached a little—
Suddenly, I was being lifted into the air, my body rising from the cold ground, strong arms under my neck and in the crook of my knees, my feet and hands dangling like loose rubber. I didn’t open my eyes. I didn’t have to. Tommy was carrying me, and I could feel the tension in his body as he tried to handle me as though I were made of cracked glass and would shatter were he to breathe too deeply. I could feel my people all around me, hovering and speechless, filled with alarm and concern over my still body.
“We must get her to the van,” I heard Queen Camillia say, as if only the safety of my life were important. “Follow me.”
And then we were moving. No one had even asked a question. I felt their total agreement singing out to me, as though I was standing in the center of some gentle tornado, its force tugging and pushing at me from every direction.
But the sun. I want to see the sun. I want to touch it. We must wait.
My companions stopped in their tracks. Because of Camillia I knew that the van waiting for us was only some twenty-five feet to our southeast; but that sun, or whatever it was, was approaching us from the east. That’s the way I wanted to go. It made no sense, was possibly the stupidest thing to do right now, but that’s where I wanted to go.
That way. Take me that way.
Tommy immediately began moving east. The others followed. I still didn’t lift my head, didn’t open my eyes. Didn’t think I even could. Then I felt something so familiar… so unmistakable, and I jerked so hard in Tommy’s arms that he would have dropped me had he not been so… aware of me.
The sensation was mighty, fierce, almost painful. It struck me the way that a wave strikes the shore, loud and sudden and breaking. My eyes flew open wide, and I saw Tommy staring down at me, the lines of his face silhouetted and shadowed by the moonlight, which swathed his pale hair like a golden halo. His eyes were so clear a blue that I could see the reflection of my own inked eyes in their depths. All of the sly posture and façade he usually wore so closely was gone, and his truths were all open to me, as mine were to him, to all of them.
Another of those awful, nauseous waves crashed over me, making my body spasm once more in Tommy’s arms, which had tightened almost painfully around me, crushing my shoulders sideways against his chest. I was vaguely aware of a sharp, serpentine hiss escaping my throat, and then words passing through my lips and sounding nothing like my own.
“He wakessss.”
They didn’t have to ask. I had reined my mind back in, afraid to let it out for fear of what it might do—just maintaining contact with these eight people was hard enough, some part of me wanted desperately to tighten my hold on them and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until they were no more—and I had stopped battling King W
illiam to replace a thread of shredded leash on the beast that lived within me; stopped holding King William’s consciousness under water. And he was waking up.
And we were still heading east. Away from the van. Away from escape.
But that sun. That warm, soft and delicious sun is so close now. Sssso closssse now…
Above me, the canopy of tree branches had given way to the open night sky, and stars hung above like white freckles on a black, endless face. I closed my eyes as the heat of that brilliant, golden force drew nearer and nearer at a speed that seemed incredible. And for a moment, the growling hunger of my soul was silenced, forgotten along with all else.
Faintly, as if from somewhere outside of me, dim sounds filled my ears. Something like the screech of brakes, then a slamming sound. White light surged behind my shut eyes, turning the insides of my eyelids into an unpleasant, coral pink. I could feel something essential slipping away from me then, like the string of a helium balloon sliding through my desperately reaching fingers. Then the world went as black as the sky as I plunged into that deep abyss, without the light of a single star to show me the way.
Alexa
“STOP!”
The word tore through my lips, which seemed to be trembling for no apparent reason. We were smashing down a dirt road through the forest that allowed access to the city of Two Rivers. I thrust my hands out in front of me, my palms hitting the smooth dashboard hard enough to send a flash of pain up my arms. The sound of sharply seized breaths and tires churning and spitting rocks and gravel due to harshly compressed brakes filled the small space inside the car. My neck snapped forward, whiplash sending more pain down my spine. I could hear my heartbeat pounding and pumping hot blood through my tense body. The Mercedes came to a stop, slamming me back against the leather seat. For a moment, I was afraid to look up.
“You okay?” Kayden asked, and I could see his wide chest falling and rising, his golden eyes glued to the scene in front of us. His voice was tight. I pulled my gaze away from him and looked out through the windshield.
There were people standing in the middle of the road. Without thought, I threw my car door open and had to catch it before it slammed me in the head on its way back. I raced around to the front of the car, my Gladius clutched hard in my right hand. The silver blade shot out from the end of it, and the Mercedes’ blazing headlights threw shards of silver light every which way, making the weapon seem to glow in my grasp. I felt my breath catch and hold as I took in the people. Their mouths hung agape and their eyes were bugged like one of those children’s toys that you squeeze the bottom of to make the top half bulge. A few of them were in what looked to be nightclothes. Two wore all black. Another was a pale colored wolf, huge and panting.
And I recognized them.
My eyes scanned them from left to right, and their names ticked off in my head, swimming in a soup of utter confusion and surprise. Patterson, Soraya, Catherine, Tom—
I stopped. Tommy was holding someone in his arms, someone who seemed to be unconscious, or dead. Someone with long light brown hair, a slight build and pink sneakers on small feet.
Nelly!
I moved forward so fast that the whole of them flinched backward. A growl ripped up from the throat of the wolf with them, low and deep and threatening. Tommy’s arms tightened around my sister, and I paused only when I saw the hard look in his eyes, and could feel the mirrored challenge in the dagger gazes of his companions. My head spun for a moment. They were acting as though Nelly was some wounded calf that needed the hoard’s ultimate protection, and I was some lioness sneaking through the tall grass to snag a meal. Anger, hot and ugly, spiraled in my stomach.
My left eye twitched. My voice came out in a snarled, ripping growl that made even the wolf among them lower her tail and flatten her ears. I recognized it as the voice of my monster, rising forward to meet these surprising challengers with eager anticipation. “Give. Me. My. Sister,” I growled, meeting Tommy’s cool blue gaze with the fire in my own.
None of them moved. Then, slowly, holding my stare tightly, Tommy held Nelly out. My Gladius fell to the dirt at my feet with a thump. I came forward and took the body of my sister in my arms, which were trembling with I don’t know what. Her weight seemed like nothing. I looked down at her, and when I spoke next, my voice was my own, if not small and slightly broken.
“What happened?” I asked. And for a moment, the world went blacker than the night sky above us as my heart seemed to shrivel like a rotten fruit and fall to the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t breathe, and if the world hadn’t come back in to focus just then, allowing me to see the rise and the fall of my sister’s chest, I may have collapsed to the ground like something shattered and irreversible.
When someone placed a hand on my arm, another snarl ripped up my throat, and I jumped backward with my sister clutched maybe a little too tightly in my arms. Another wave of confusion swept me when I saw whose hand it was that had touched me.
“I’m sorry,” Queen Camillia’s eyes regarded me carefully, drifting down to Nelly every other second or so, as if she didn’t want to trust me with my own sister. “I will explain everything later, but we must go now.” Her gaze fell to Nelly once more, and the look that passed behind her eyes made my brow furrow and my arms tighten more fiercely around my Nelly. What in the holy hell was going on here?
“Your sister is fine,” Queen Camillia said, with so much affection that my heart ached a little and an unexplained touch of something like jealousy ran through me. “But we are all in danger if we stay here. We have to go.”
I hadn’t noticed them getting out of the car, but Kayden and my Mother were now standing beside me. Queen Camillia’s eyes grew as large as boulders when she caught sight of my Mother, and a little more anger spiraled in my stomach, remembering that the Queen had been the one who had told me my Mother was dead.
Soraya dashed forward, catching all of us off guard, and leapt into Kayden’s arms. He caught his niece and held her closely. When he spoke, his voice came out steady, but confused. “What are you doing here?” he asked, looking up at Catherine for a response.
“Oh, for Lord’s sake,” Queen Camillia sighed, and came striding forward. She placed her slim hand on Kayden’s arm, and my hackles went up until I realized what she was doing. The Queen was a powerful Searcher. She could explain quicker that way.
When she drew her hand back, Kayden sucked his breath in sharply. He turned to look at me, and the look in his golden eyes was so full of alarm and something else akin to horror that I turned on my heel and began running back to the Mercedes with Nelly still clutched in my arms.
“Wait!” I heard someone cry, and it took me a moment to recognize Tommy’s voice. I spun around to face him. “We all have to leave! We can’t go back now. Victoria, got get the van,” he said, and when the wolf tipped its head sideways Tommy ripped his t-shirt over his head and tossed it to at her. She caught it out of the air between her teeth and loped off into the trees.
“The keys should be in the glove compartment! Head southeast!” shouted the Queen, and turned to face me once again.
All eight of them were staring me, or rather, at my sister, who lay in my arms. I could have screamed out loud, I was so damned confused. “Someone tell me what the hell is going on here right now. Or I’m taking my sister and getting the hell out of here,” I said, directing the question at the Queen. “And you just see if you can stop me.”
It was Kayden who answered me. “Alexa,” he said, and then his words were drowned out by the engine of the van as it came smashing through the trees. I squeezed my eyes shut at the glaring headlights. Victoria sat behind the wheel. She put it in park and waved her arm out of the window, telling us to hurry up.
I stared at them all for just a moment and bit down hard on my tongue. “Fine,” I said between clenched teeth. “Where are we going?”
“I know the way,” Queen Camillia said.
“Fine,” I repeated.
Kayden tossed
her the keys to the Mercedes, and the Queen caught them out of the air. I looked to Tommy to see if he had anything to say about Queen Camillia driving his car, but his eyes were still fixed on Nelly from where he seemed to hover only a few feet away. The thought of following the Queen anywhere made me more than uneasy. But, whatever she’d shown to Kayden made him agree that we had to leave, so that was good enough for me. For now.
I looked down at my unconscious sister, guilt and worry as thick as storm clouds sweeping through me, and decided to head for the van, where Nelly might be able to lay down. Kayden came with me, along with Soraya, Catherine, Tommy, and Patterson. I raised an eyebrow at my Mother when she began heading toward the Mercedes with the Queen and Gavin and some other Warrior I didn’t recognize, who was also cradling a girl. They were the only ones among this group whom I’d never met before.
My Mother came back to where I was standing outside of the van and looked down sadly at Nelly, who hadn’t stirred in the slightest. I had to resist the urge to shrink back out of her reach. I was gripped by an inexplicable, overwhelming protectiveness, and though I knew my Mother meant Nelly no harm, that didn’t mean I wanted to let her near her. Or anyone near her, as a matter of fact. I didn’t like the way they were all still gawking at her. I bit down on my bottom lip and I tasted blood in my mouth. My fangs were out.
The Rise (The Alexa Montgomery Saga) Page 5