Choices

by Michelle MacQueen

  The conversation centered on Michaela’s father’s new firm in the city. Mr. Walker seemed overly interested.

  “I’ve always had a fondness for New York,” he said. His wife shifted beside Michaela and shot daggers at her husband. It was well-known gossip that Mr. Walker had a wandering eye as well as other wandering parts. He traveled a lot and had been caught cheating in the city. A friend of Mrs. Walker’s was kind enough to take pictures of a restaurant rendezvous and spread them around the community.

  “Are you liking the city, my dear?” Ignoring his wife, he directed this question at Michaela.

  “Very much.” She sipped her cocktail and decided not to elaborate.

  “I’m hoping she won’t be there for much longer,” Ethan spoke up and winked at her.

  Not one of the four parents in the room batted an eyelash at that and Michaela’s face flushed with irritation. Only Chris gripped his glass tighter and set his mouth in a firm line.

  Michaela clasped her hands together and dug her nails into her skin to keep herself from saying something she’d regret. That was not the time or the place for that discussion.

  “Michaela has been an integral part of the team at a family law place called Legal Services,” Chris said, leaning forward and smiling at his sister. “She even got to help on their most recent case.”

  “Christopher,” their dad said, “they don’t need to hear about that.” He turned his gaze to Ethan. “How is school?”

  Michaela zoned out as they talked about Harvard and Ethan’s plans for after he graduated. She drained the rest of her drink and caught the maid’s attention. “Can I get a whiskey?” She’d lowered her voice, hoping they were all too preoccupied to notice. The maid glanced around at the two families and then nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

  Taking her new glass from the maid, Michaela took a sip and closed her eyes. It was going to take a lot of this to get through the night.

  Mrs. Walker leaned over and spoke to Michaela in a quiet voice so that she was the only one that heard.

  “I was so happy to hear that Ethan was able to look past your behavior over the summer. It would be a shame if all those years he had invested in you were for naught.”

  Michaela tensed up and forced herself to smile. There were so many things she wanted to say to that woman. Instead of the anger she’d held onto moments before, Michaela felt tears coming to her eyes.

  “I need to use the restroom.” She shot to her feet and was out of the room before anyone could stop her. She reached the bathroom and closed the door before setting her drink down. She rested her elbows on the marble countertop and hung her head, willing herself to pull it together. She knew what Ethan’s mother was like. But his mother wasn’t the real problem here. Michaela couldn’t stand being in a room with a boy she no longer trusted, his mother who had never truly accepted her, and her own parents who she felt had betrayed her.

  She turned on the water and splashed it onto her face as she tried to calm her breathing. Her mother would be upset she was ruining her makeup, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was doing a good job of holding back the tears, but keeping it in left her feeling like an emotional wreck.

  Michaela jumped when her phone rang but finally smiled when she saw who it was. She hit Answer and breathed in deeply to keep her voice from shaking.

  “You have no idea how good your timing is,” she said.

  “I think I do. You’re at my parents’ place right now, aren’t you?” Josh responded. “I figured you’d be going crazy and, if you got a call, it’d give you a breather.”

  “You know me too well.” Michaela made a sound that was half laugh and half sob.

  “Seriously, though. Are you okay?”

  “No,” Michaela answered. She took a sip of her drink and then exited the bathroom. She walked through the busy kitchen and, deciding she needed some air, stepped outside into the cold and sat down on a bench on the back deck. The hot tub covers were piled high with snow and the railings that ran along the perimeter of the deck were encrusted with ice.

  “My family can be hard,” Josh said.

  “It’s not only your family that’s the problem. Ethan’s going to propose and my parents are in on it.”

  “I take it that you aren’t excited with the prospect?”

  “That’s an understatement.” She sighed and suddenly wished she’d thought to grab her coat. The dampness of the bench beneath her seeped into her dress and sent a chill up her spine.

  “You know you deserve better than him, right?”

  “Josh, he’s your brother.”

  “Yes, but you’re my sister. Whether you marry the douche bag or not.”

  “I wish you were here.” Michaela felt the last of her whiskey create a warmth to battle the cold. She set the glass down and dug her free hand into the snow. Her other hand still held the phone she was pretty sure had frozen to her face.

  “I don’t wish I was there, but I wish I could see you. I miss you. Maybe next year, you can avoid the family drama and come to Columbus.”

  “That sounds wonderful. Do you have a game today?”

  “Nah, we had practice this morning and a big game against the Hawks tomorrow. Then we have one more game before a five-day breather.”

  “That’s great.” Michaela heard the door slide open and looked up to find Ethan watching her. “I’ve got to go,” she told Josh. “Your brother found my hiding spot.”

  “Oh God, you need to find a better one next time. Don’t tell any of them I called. Mom would be pissed since I haven’t called her today. I’m enjoying the peace.” Michaela laughed and promised she wouldn’t tell before hanging up and following Ethan inside.

  “Who was that?” Ethan asked.

  “Just a friend from the city,” Michaela responded, looking away and trying to keep her promise to Josh not to tell.

  “The bartender?”

  “I keep telling you, he’s a bar owner. And no, it wasn’t him.”

  “Why should I believe you?”

  “I honestly don’t know, Ethan.” She sighed, turning away from him and starting to walk. There were too many people in the kitchen and she knew that cooks and maids talked.

  “Don’t you walk away from me.” Ethan grabbed her arm, but she yanked it free of his grasp.

  “Okay, I guess we’re going to do this now.” She’d hoped to get through their Thanksgiving meal before having to have “the talk” but she suddenly felt the overwhelming need to just have it done. Ethan followed her into the library.

  Michaela used to love this room. Growing up, when her parents were too much, she’d hide out at Ethan’s and spend hours among the books, just reading. There were bookshelves lining the side walls that stretched all the way to the vaulted ceiling. The room had an old-fashioned feel to it that had always allowed Michaela to forget the outside world for a little while.

  Along the back wall were two over-sized reading chairs; the kind that you could just sink into and feel every muscle in your body relax.

  “Sit down,” Ethan said, leaving no room for protest. For once, she was glad of his command. Her legs felt weak and off-balance as she thought about what was coming. She sat and looked up at her boyfriend. He looked pissed. Was proposing to her really such a chore? Did he have to be so upset about it?

  Michaela knew his family was pushing this relationship as much as hers was. Joining the two names would create a force in the social and professional worlds alike. So, she didn’t have the right to be hurt that he looked so upset about it, did she? She knew what her answer was going to be, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t hoped he wanted it- just a little bit. They’d been together for so long, and they’d loved each other once.

  Ethan was fun in college. They’d had their problems, but they’d gotten through them. They had a good time together - laughing, and making love, and getting into trouble. Back then, she would’ve never believed he’d try to hurt her. But that was not who was standing in fron
t of her today.

  “About the other night...” Ethan began. Michaela tensed up. “It happened. Let’s forget about it.”

  She knew that was as close to an apology she was ever going to get. She didn’t want to fight, so she just let it go and nodded.

  “I wanted to talk to you before we eat,” Ethan said.

  “Okay.” Michaela swallowed hard, twisting a lock of hair between her fingers nervously.

  “We’ve been together a long time,” he went on. “And we both know you made a mistake last summer when you said no to my proposal.”

  “Ethan-” she tried to say, but he continued talking.

  “I want to allow you to make it up to me.” He watched her as his words sunk in. She narrowed her eyes.

  “Was that a proposal?”

  “What more do you want?” he asked.

  Michaela stood and walked passed him to one of the bookcases. She leaned her head against the wood for a brief moment and then turned back to him. “Why do you want to marry me, Ethan?”

  “Dammit, Michaela! Can’t you make anything easy?”

  “I’ll say it again. Why do you want to marry me? I need to know.”

  “When I join my father’s practice, I’ll need a wife who can take care of a house and raise my children.” He moved closer to her. “My parents approve, and that’s the hardest thing.” He took another step. “You’ll look great on my arm and you know how to handle the social events we’ll attend.”

  Michaela squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them as a single tear rolled down her cheek. “You didn’t say you loved me.”

  “What do you want from me, Michaela?” He stopped right in front of her and looked down angrily. “I’m giving you a chance to be a Walker. Do you know how many women would kill for that?”

  “Ethan, back up.” She put a hand on his chest and pushed, but he didn’t budge.

  “You’ll have more money than you know what to do with,” he said. “You’ll get to go to events and galas. You won’t have to live in the city anymore.”

  “I love the city,” she responded weakly. He was pressing her up against the bookcase now and a shelf dug into her back. “I don’t want all of that.”

  “Are you actually saying no to me? Again!”

  Michaela tried to shrink away from his raised voice, but there was nowhere to go. She was trapped.

  “I don’t care what my last name is.” She lowered her eyes, so she was looking into his chest rather than his face. “I want to be in love. And we, Ethan, are not in love. Not anymore. We haven’t been for quite some time.”

  “You think you can do this to me again?” He gripped her upper arms and slammed her back against the bookcase.

  “Ethan, stop,” she cried. “You’re hurting me.” One of his hands tightened on her arm while the other released her. She didn’t see the hit coming, so she didn’t have time to raise her arms to protect her face. It was an open-palm hit, but it stung nonetheless.

  “Please.” Her tears were flowing freely now.

  “What will your father think of you?” Ethan growled. “He wanted this more than anything.”

  “Her father,” said a voice near the door. “Would appreciate it if you’d get your fucking hands off his daughter.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Michaela’s dad rushed over and put a strong hand on Ethan’s shoulder, forcing him back. He swung wildly, surprising both Michaela and Ethan before his fist connected with Ethan’s cheek. Ethan fell to the floor with a thud and sat there, looking up with a mixture of anger and fear. Michaela had never seen fear in his eyes before.

  “Are you okay?” her father asked her. She nodded, and he put his arm around her. It had been a long time since her father was the one who made her feel safe.

  “Can we go?” she asked. He nodded and led her out of the room without saying a word. Ethan didn’t follow them. A maid fetched their coats, and they were outside before anyone else realized they were gone. Her father was on the phone with their driver, and he kept glancing over at her as if she’d break down at any minute.

  Michaela was having a hard time processing everything that just happened. The cold air stung as it blew across the cheek Ethan had slapped her. That made it real. He’d hit her. He’d come close so many times before, but something had always stopped him. She felt like an idiot for ever loving him at all. The moment Ethan’s hand had connected with her face, any hold over her that he had ever had was broken.

  Michaela had been scared that a part of her would always love him. Now she knew that wasn’t true. When he hit her, it was like he set her free, and she was grateful. She laughed at the absurdity of that, and her dad looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was.

  Their car pulled up, and the driver got out to open their doors. “What about Mom and Chris?”

  “I sent them a message. Your mother thinks I had an emergency at the office and I told her that you aren’t feeling well. I’m supposedly dropping you at home on my way. We’ll send the car back for them later.” He checked his phone again and then spoke without looking at her. “I wanted to get you out of there.”

  She was glad he was finally showing some fatherly instincts when she needed him to. They rode in an uncomfortable silence for a few miles as the snowy world rolled by. Michaela was thrown into her father when the car fishtailed on the icy road, but she righted herself quickly and looked at him. He reached over and brushed his fingertips over her cheek where she was sure a bruise was starting to form. He grimaced and pulled his hand away.

  “I said ‘no’ to him, Dad,” Michaela said.

  “I’m glad.” He looked out the window and sighed. “I’m sorry for my part in this. I thought Ethan was a solid young man. I feel... responsible.”

  Michaela knew that the polite response would’ve been to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. But, the truth was, part of her blamed him for trying to control her life. As much as Ethan’s actions freed her from him, she also felt that it freed her from her parents. She felt like they’d had a part in her being hurt. She didn’t care what they thought about her choices anymore. She was going to live her life and make it on her own if she had to.

  When Michaela still hadn’t responded, her father said, “I only wanted what was best for you.”

  “What was best for me? Maybe if you listened to what I want, you’d know what that is. I don’t want to be rich. I want to be loved. I don’t want to do a job that bores the hell out of me. I want to follow my passion. I don’t want the quiet country club neighborhoods. I want the loud and busy city. Don’t you see? You and Mom, all the decisions about me you’ve made, they’ve only ever been what’s best for you.”

  “Sweetie-”

  “No, Dad. This time you listen to me. I am done with this place. If I have to, I’ll take out loans for law school, but I don’t want you involved. I don’t want to come back here. You and Mom betrayed me. I know you knew about the proposal, and that’s the only reason you didn’t fight me on the family law thing. You conspired with Ethan, and neither of you were going to let me do it.” Michaela leaned her head against the cool glass and breathed out as the tears cascaded down her face. “I can’t help but feel that part of this is your fault. That might not be fair, but it’s how I feel. I’m leaving tomorrow. Can we just not talk anymore? I don’t want to hear any more of your lies.”

  Her father opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Michaela would’ve sworn she saw tears in his eyes, but he saw the anger in hers and didn’t try to apologize again. Her father was anything but emotional. He was the opposite of her. Seeing him show even an iota of hurt was almost too much for her to stand. She felt like she was divorcing her parents.

  The car slid again, and this time the driver had a harder time regaining control. They were on a mostly empty road, only a few miles from home. The weather and the holiday were keeping people off the streets. They slid into the other lane again and then swerved back hard. The car hit another patch of ice and th
e driver lost control, unable to gain it back.

  Michaela held on to her seat as the swerving turned into spinning. A million thoughts raced through her mind. Her father grabbed her hand and squeezed as his eyes darted around wildly.

  Michaela was frozen in terror as the car left the relative safety of the road and plunged off the shoulder straight towards a tree. It all happened so fast. The only thing Michaela could remember was the sickening sound of metal crunching as it gave way and the spray of glass as it shattered around them.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It was raining the day after Thanksgiving. The weather had warmed a little, and the remaining snow stood in ugly brown slush piles along the city streets. Jason should have been happy that it was nice out, but all he could think was that the sun was blinding and everything was so damn wet as it melted. The dampness clung to his clothes and the crisp air burned his lungs.

  Jason couldn’t remember ever having a worse hangover. He’d gone to Maggie’s for Thanksgiving and had gone shot for shot with Elijah. Elijah was a big dude. He could handle it in a way that Jason, a much smaller guy, could never hope to. He’d crashed at Maggie’s, but he couldn’t hide there forever. He had a business to run.

  Jason wondered if Aaron scheduled the deliveries in the morning just to mess with him. He considered taking that responsibility on himself, but he already had too much on his plate. Plus, Aaron was usually around for deliveries too, so Jason’s sleep wasn’t the only one being screwed up.

  “Hey, man.” Aaron came up from behind and clapped Jason on the back. Jason winced.

  “Do you have to talk so loud?”

  “I take it you had a good night?” Aaron laughed.

  Jason just groaned and walked to where the delivery man had unloaded their cases.