“Yeah, whatever.”
“I guess it’s a habit you’re going to need to keep in order to be with my sister.” He laughed again. “Cafeteria is down one floor.”
Jason took one more long look at Michaela. He was about to turn away when it happened.
“Did you see that?” he asked Chris as he bent down over the bed.
“What?” Chris came up beside him.
“Her hand, it moved. There it is again!” Michaela’s hand twitched a third time, sending Chris out into the hall, yelling for a nurse. He came back in, followed by a plump woman in light blue hospital scrubs.
“Give her some space,” the nurse ordered. Jason reluctantly stepped back. His heart pounded as Michaela’s eyelids twitched and opened slowly. She squinted as the light hit her eyes and then was seized by alarm. Her eyes darted around the room, not staying on anything long enough to take it in. The sounds from her machines grew louder and more urgent.
“Calm down, sweetie,” the nurse said calmly. “You were in an accident. You’re going to be just fine.” Michaela’s chest rose and fell rapidly as the nurse’s words did nothing to quell her panic.
Jason moved forward and took her hand in his. After a few seconds, her gaze fell on him and her eyes widened slightly.
“Everything is okay now,” he whispered.
Michaela opened her mouth to try to speak, but her throat was too dry and scratchy. Her breathing had calmed and her heart rate slowed as she looked at Jason. She formed words with her mouth and then started coughing. It hurt. Everything hurt, but it wasn’t the screaming agony one would expect after a car crash. It was more of a dull throb. I must be on drugs, she thought.
A nurse held a cup to her mouth, so she parted her lips to take a drink. Water dribbled down her chin and also into the back of her throat. She felt like she could’ve drunk the whole thing, but the nurse pulled the cup away and started checking the machines and writing things down.
Michaela’s eyes shifted to her brother. Chris smiled down at her. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get Mom.” He cupped her cheek and then left. The nurse went to fetch the doctor, leaving Michaela alone with Jason. Her head was still fuzzy as she looked at him. She felt like she was forgetting something.
Jason sat in the chair beside her, still holding her hand. His thumb made circles on her palm. “You’re here,” Michaela rasped.
“I’m here.” The tears that had been pooling in his eyes spilled over his cheeks. “I was so scared.” He leaned forward. She took her hand from his and used all her strength to lift her arm and run her fingers through his hair. He sighed under her touch. She stilled her hand, and he turned his cheek into her palm.
“It’s going to be okay now, right?” There was so much meaning in that question that she regretted asking it instantly. Jason nodded his head against her hand and then she lowered it back to the bed.
The doctor hurried in, followed by Chris and their mom. He was young for a doctor, but he carried himself with the confidence of age.
“Hello, Michaela,” the doctor said. “It’s good to have you back with us. I am Doctor Johanson. I’ve been overseeing your care.”
“Hi.” Michaela coughed weakly.
“Good.” The doctor wrote something on his clipboard. “You’re already speaking. That’s a good sign.”
“My head.” Michaela grabbed her head for emphasis. It had been killing her since she woke up.
“You most likely have a concussion. We’ll be doing tests for that. But first, I need you to wiggle your toes for me.” He pulled the sheet from her feet and removed her socks. Michaela put all of her energy into moving her toes.
“How’d I do?” she asked nervously.
“You did wonderfully.” Dr. Johanson grinned at her as he wrote something else down. He asked her to do a few more things, all of which she could. He asked her questions such as “what year is it?” and “who is the President?” She passed. He then told her a nurse would be down to do some more tests and take her up for another scan and left.
It was only then that Michaela noticed the tears cascading down her mother’s normally stoic face. Chris looked sad as well. Only Jason smiled at her.
“See,” he said. “Everything will be fine.” He bent down and kissed her forehead, but she didn’t take her eyes from her mom. From the desperation she saw there, she knew right then that everything was not going to be okay.
Cerebral edema. It’s when the brain swells, due to trauma or other things, causing excess fluid buildup in the tissues themselves. They say it happens with traumatic brain injuries. Memory loss, short and long, loss of balance, headaches, altered state of consciousness. These can all be long-term problems.
When they told Michaela that her dad was suffering from this, she started to cry and couldn’t stop. They were in the same accident, sitting side by side. How could this happen to him? All of her tests had come back good. Michaela had a concussion and a number of cuts and bruises but nothing that would have long-term effects.
“It was the same damn accident!” she yelled at her mother when she told her.
“Michaela, you need to calm down.” Chris stepped protectively in front of their mom and Michaela sank back into the bed.
She felt bad for yelling, but she was having trouble controlling any of her emotions. She took a closer look at her mother as Chris led her to the chair. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Michaela couldn’t remember the last time she saw her without perfect makeup and painstakingly pressed clothes. Yet, here she was, disheveled and distressed. This was not the same woman who tried to control everything and everyone around her. This was a woman who had lost control completely and was trying to keep it together. When it came to health and illness, there was no such thing as control. She looked… broken.
“Michaela, the swelling isn’t the only problem Dad has.” Chris sat on the corner of her bed and held her hand. “A bone fragment lodged itself in his spinal cord.”
“They can do surgery right?” Michaela looked from her brother to her mother and back again. “He’s going to be alright?”
“They think he might be paralyzed from the waist down.” Chris squeezed her hand tighter, and she tried to shake him off.
Why him? She was there too. Everything she said to her father right before the crash started rolling through her mind. She had told him she didn’t want anything to do with him. She said that everything was his fault. Suddenly, none of the reasons for those words mattered. She hated herself for saying them.
“I need...” Her chest heaved with sobs and she wiped the tears from her eyes angrily. “I need to get out of here.” At the recommendation of the nurse, she’d been walking the halls on her own for a day now to regain some strength. They hadn’t let her off the floor, though, so she hadn’t seen her father yet. She hadn’t been able to tell him how sorry she was. She knew it could’ve been worse. Their driver died in the crash. That only made her feel more terrible. It was her fault they were even out on those roads.
Chris let her go and she rushed out into the hall as fast as her still-unsteady legs would take her. She needed to see him. She’d barely been able to make it the entire way around the floor before her legs gave out last time, but she was determined. A nurse smiled at her, but she kept her eyes on the ground to watch for her next step. She didn’t want anyone seeing the tears that were still streaming down her face.
She hurried past the main desk and headed towards the elevator alcove, hoping they wouldn’t see her. She knew she’d be stopped if they did.
Michaela’s legs shook beneath her and she held onto the wall for support. She stopped and leaned against a closed door, panting. She wiped an arm across her eyes and tried to catch her breath. A shock of pain seared through her leg, and she gnashed her teeth together to keep from crying out. This was the farthest she’d walked yet, but she couldn’t stop now. She had to get to her dad.
Michaela stood there for a moment longer, watching for all hospital staf
f to be out of sight before she ducked around the corner. She hit the elevator button and waited, trying to ignore the tingling in her limbs that she knew preceded further weakness. It had happened once yesterday when she went too far. She could no longer move her legs and had to be helped back to her room.
She didn’t stop. When the elevator came, she stumbled in. She hit the button for her dad’s floor. As soon as the doors shut, Michaela’s legs gave out, and she collapsed into a heap on the floor. She cried violently as she tried to push herself up.
She was still in the same position when the doors opened again.
“Michaela?”
“Jason.” She looked up, relieved it was him.
“What are you doing?” He crouched down. “Are you okay?” He brushed away the strands of hair that had been sticking to her tears. He furrowed his brow in worry and pursed his lips.
“I need to see my dad.”
He considered her for a moment. “They told you.” When she nodded, he said, “Okay, then.” He slid an arm under her legs and supported her back with the other.
“What are you doing?”
“Just hold on.” He lifted her with a grunt and she wrapped an arm around his neck. She ran her thumb over the point on his neck where his pulse beat steady and laid her head on his shoulder.
It didn’t take long to find the room. Jason set Michaela on her feet and wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her steady as they walked into her father’s room.
Michaela’s father still had a number of machines hooked up, and she could see some sort of brace poking out from beneath the covers of his bed. Her dad looked up as they entered, and recognition lit in his face. Michaela had fresh tears now as she watched him struggle to find a name.
“Dad, it’s me, Michaela.”
“Yes, yes ... Michaela. I would have gotten there, eventually. Come in.”
Michaela sat next to his bed, but Jason stayed by the door, not wanting to intrude.
“Dad, I’m so sorry.”
“For what M...” He stopped, trying to remember again. “My dear.”
“I said some awful things.”
“Sweetheart, I told you once and I’ll tell you again. You cannot just decide to spend the night at your boyfriend’s house. I don’t care who his family is. You are in high school.”
“Dad...” She buried her face in her hands. “Dad, that was like six years ago. Don’t you remember riding in the car with me right before the accident?”
“I don’t know why you would have been with me when you’re supposed to be away at college.”
“Oh, there you are!” A nurse pushed passed Jason at the door. “They’re looking for you upstairs.” Michaela looked up at her desperately. “My dear, he’s going to be just fine.”
“Will he get his memories back?” Michaela asked.
“Many of them, but not all.” She patted Michaela on the back. “He could have died in that accident, and he didn’t. Be glad of that and patient with the rest.” She looked at Jason. “Now, get her back to her room. Do you want a wheelchair?”
“No,” he said. “I’ve got her.”
Chapter Seventeen
Jason glanced in Michaela’s room again to see if she’d moved. Ever since he’d brought her back from seeing her dad, she’d been curled up on her side. Chris sat on the edge of the bed, but she refused to talk to him or even look at him. Jason turned away and dialed Maggie’s number on his phone. He’d been keeping her up-to-date. With him gone, she’d been helping at the bar in the evenings, so she couldn’t get here to see Michaela herself. Plus, Jason still had her car.
“Hello,” she answered on the second ring.
“Hey, Mags,” Jason said.
“How’s the patient?”
“Physically, she’ll be fine.”
“That’s good to hear. I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
“She’s a mess,” he said. “Her dad’s in a bad way, and she’s not taking it well. I don’t know how to help her.”
“Just be there. That’s all you can really do. And for God’s sake, don’t have ‘the talk’ with her in that place. Just be her friend.”
“I’m not an idiot, cuz. The hospital isn’t exactly the best place to bare my soul, or whatever it is I’m going to do.” She chuckled softly and Jason changed the subject. “How’s the bar?”
“Aaron’s doing a good job running things,” she answered. “Elijah and I are helping out too.”
“Thanks, Maggie. I owe you. I don’t know how long I’ll be away, but I have to be here. I can’t leave her.”
“I know. Tell Michaela I’m thinking about her.”
“Will do. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.” Jason hung up and stood in the doorway a minute longer. If he’d been unsure of his feelings for Michaela before, that had been erased over the past couple of days. Seeing her in that hospital bed made him realize how stupid he’d been not to tell her how he felt. It made him realize that she was the one person he never wanted to live without. But he’d wait to tell her anything until she was better. It was the right thing to do.
“She’s asleep.” Chris rose to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go get a coffee.”
Jason followed him out, and they walked in companionable silence down the hall. Jason and Chris had known each other for a few years now, and it had always been an easy friendship. They trusted each other and cared about each other. It didn’t make any difference to Jason that Chris was gay. He didn’t think it made a difference to Chris that Jason was into his sister. At least, he hoped it didn’t.
“You coming back to the house tonight?” Chris asked. They’d given him a guest room, but Jason preferred to stay at the hospital. Michaela’s room had a chair that reclined. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but he didn’t want her to be alone.
“Probably not.”
“At least come back for dinner and a hot shower,” Chris urged.
“I’ll think about it.” They got their coffees and sat at one of the cafeteria tables.
“I’ve been debating with myself if I should tell you something or not.”
“Spit it out,” Jason said.
“I think Ethan hit her, and I’m not sure if it was the first time.”
“He hit Michaela?” Jason jumped to hit feet, suddenly angry. “I’ll kill him.”
“Sit down.” Chris pounded his fist on the table and fixed Jason with an unblinking stare. “I know you, Jason, and you aren’t going to kill anyone.” Jason sat again, and Chris put his head in his hands and sighed. “If that’s what finally got Ethan out of her life, then I say we let it rest.”
They didn’t speak for a few minutes, and Jason looked up to find Chris smiling towards the doorway. Jason followed his gaze to Josh whose long stride carried him across the room quickly. Chris jumped up to give him a hug.
“Hey buddy!”
“I wanted to get here right after it happened, but I had a game,” Josh said.
“How long are you here?”
“We have a stretch off before we play New Jersey, so they gave me two days before I have to meet the team there. I went to Michaela’s floor first, but they wouldn’t let me see her without you or your mom there. The nurse said I might find you here.” He turned his attention away from Chris. “Jason, right?”
“Yeah, good to see you again.”
“How is she?” Josh fixed them both with an unblinking stare.
“Getting better,” Chris was the one who answered him. “Come on. She’ll be happy to see you.”
Jason followed them back upstairs and watched as Michaela perked up when she saw Josh. Jason had missed that toothy grin.
“I talked the nurse into letting Josh stay if we left,” Chris said, stopping next to Jason. “Let’s give them some time and get you that shower.”
Before leaving, Jason kissed Michaela on the top of her head. She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I’ll be back as quick as I can. I promise.”
> Josh hung around the hospital for two days. He’d visit Michaela every morning and every evening, but then he had to get back for his game against the Devils. Her mom was in and out, but Michaela’s dad needed help more than she did. Chris was the same. He’d forgotten the problems he had with his dad for the moment and was trying to help him recover some memories he’d lost.
Jason was the constant in Michaela’s life during her stay in the hospital. She asked him once if he had to get back to the city to take care of the bar, but he said he didn’t need to be anywhere but with her.
There were a few times when Michaela thought she was finally going to hear what she’d been hoping for. She knew the hospital wasn’t the most romantic of places, but she didn’t care. She wanted Jason to tell her how he felt. She wanted to know she wasn’t crazy. She wanted to know that there was something between them that was special and powerful. Was she imagining it?
Michaela threw her hospital gown on the floor and pulled on her sweatpants. They were finally letting her go home. She was excited to just go outside. She’d been cooped up in the hospital for over a week.
Every time she thought like that, she felt guilty. It would be quite a while before her dad came home.
“Ready?” Chris popped his head in and grinned.
“Yeah.” Chris grabbed her bag, and Jason came in pushing a wheelchair.
“Hospital policy.” He shrugged in apology. She sat in it and let him push her down the hall. They took the elevator to her dad’s floor to see him before they left.
When they got to the room, her mother rose and came to hug her. It still surprised her. Her ‘dragon lady’ mother had been very affectionate since the accident.
“Hi, Dad,” Michaela said. “I wanted to see you before I left.”
“Michaela.” He nodded her way and smiled shyly. Michaela’s heart swelled when she heard her name. He remembered this time.
“I’ll be back, Dad,” Chris promised him. “I need to get this one home.”
Choices Page 15