“You thought about me?” I question without meaning to.
“Well, we did know each other as kids. And your brothers talk about you constantly. I guess I had a vision in my head of who you’d be and you’re nothing like that person.”
“God, if you were listening to my brothers then lord only knows what you were picturing.” I cringe thinking about what they may or may not have told him.
“Actually, every single one of them described you the same way. Sweet. Driven. Down to Earth. I had a vision of this innocent country girl in my head.”
“I am an innocent country girl.”
“Yeah, and I’m a good ole country boy,” he says sarcastically.
He’s about the exact opposite of every ranch worker I’ve ever known. There isn’t a country thing about him. Well, not really.
“Then how would you describe me?” I ask, not sure why I care what he thinks.
Then again, I know deep down that’s a lie. I do care what he thinks. Probably a hell of a lot more than I should. I’ve been around this man for less than a day and he’s already got me. There’s just something about him. Something I can’t quite put my finger on.
Not that I’m foolish enough to believe the attraction I feel toward him is something I could ever actually act on. For starters, my father would likely not approve. I may not know the full story about how Thad landed here, but I’d say it was more than just him needing a job. And two, I’m only back for a few weeks. Enough time to reset, reboot, and figure out my next plan of attack. I’m not giving up on my dream. If anything I’m more determined than ever. Now is not the time to get myself mixed up with anyone, let alone someone who works for my father.
“Honestly?” Thad questions, pulling me back to the conversation.
“No, lie to me,” I dead pan.
“You’re quite the handful, aren’t you?” He smirks.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I smart back, not able to stop myself.
“Definitely not what I expected,” he reiterates his earlier comment. “Come on, we better pick up the pace if you want to make it to the creek and back before dark,” he says, avoiding my question as he pulls slightly ahead of me.
“Why did you really come to the ranch?” I ask, deciding I’d rather know more about him than about his opinion of me.
“You already know why.”
“Right. To work,” I say, disbelieving. “They don’t have jobs in Salt Lake City?”
“I needed a job outside of the city. I needed to get away. I think you of all people should be able to understand the need to escape.” He looks back over his shoulder for a moment.
“I left because what I wanted to do can’t be done from Swindell, Wyoming.”
“And I left because what I wanted for myself couldn’t be accomplished in Salt Lake City, Utah,” he counters.
“Fair enough.” I decide not to push the subject further as it’s clearly something he doesn’t want to talk about.
“Tell me about L.A.,” he prompts when I fall silent, halting Sheldon until I’ve caught up to him before leading the horse forward again.
“What do you want to know?”
“You went there to become an actress, right?” he asks, clearly having learned this from my family.
“I did.”
“And, what’s it like?”
“Over populated. Expensive. Impossible.” I release a deep sigh.
“Not what you’d hoped it’d be?”
“Actually, exactly what I expected. Well, from the city anyway. I don’t know why, but I thought pursuing acting would be a walk in the park.”
“I guess you go in with that mentality when you’re from a small town where everyone tells you you’re a star.”
“That’s not true,” I object, working really hard to not get offended.
“You sure about that?” He cocks a brow at me.
“You don’t know anything about me,” I remind him.
“Then enlighten me.”
“I mean, okay. For Swindell, Wyoming I was a pretty big deal. Especially in high school. And yes, the transition from being at the top here to all the way at the bottom when I moved to L.A. was a bit of a rocky one. But I didn’t go in with some delusion that I was the best. I simply believed I was good enough.”
“And now?”
“I still believe I’m good enough. But sometimes you need more than talent to stand out among all the others and that’s where I’ve struggled. How do you stick out in a crowd of hundreds of women with fake boobs and perfect teeth? Most of whom are willing to drop to their knees on a dime if it means getting their foot in the door. I may be willing to do close to anything for my big break, but I’ll never compromise who I am to do so.” I let out a deep sigh, realizing I unloaded a lot more on him than I meant to. “Sorry,” I quickly add.
“Don’t apologize. I asked a question and you gave me an honest answer.”
“It’s just frustrating. Anyway.” I shake my head. “I read for a couple of roles last week. One for a new paranormal television series. And the other is a supporting role in a thriller. I’m really holding out hope for the TV series, because the other is not really my cup of tea but at this point I’ll take anything. I just need one decent role that will give me a jumping off point.”
“I take it you’re hoping to get back there soon?”
“The sooner the better. Until then I’m going to fly out for auditions. It’s just too expensive to live there without a steady income coming in.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.”
“I always do. Knowing the game plan is key to keeping me on track. Otherwise I become distracted and lose sight of the finish line. I’ve sacrificed too much to throw in the towel now. It’s not a matter of if I make it, it’s when.”
“I’m starting to realize why I pushed you off the swing set all those years ago,” Thad teases.
“What?” I whip my gaze to him.
“Your ‘can do’ attitude is a bit tiring. I probably got sick of listening to you talk like a motivational speaker.”
“Shut up!” I swing my arm toward him but don’t come anywhere close to hitting him.
His deep laughter fills the air and the sound does something wonky to my insides.
“I’m just saying.” He shrugs innocently.
“You’re such a jerk.” My mouth draws into a tight pout.
“And you’re easy to get a rise out of.” He chuckles.
“I am not!” I squeak.
He cocks a brow at me, the look on his face telling me that I proved his point.
“Whatever.” I huff, trying to fight the smile that plays on my lips.
Thad grins over his shoulder, pulling Sheldon to a stop as we reach the creek bed. Without a word he slides off his horse, tying him to the tree on our right.
Following his lead, I do the same, making sure Cocoa is secure before joining Thad at the edge of the water.
“This is my favorite place,” I tell him after several seconds of silence passes between us. “When I was younger this is where I would come anytime I was mad or upset about something. My father would never let me come alone so he’d always send one of my brothers after me. It used to make me so mad.”
“Clearly he’s very protective of you.”
“You have no idea.” I shake my head. “I wasn’t allowed to sleep over at friends’ houses until I was sixteen and dating wasn’t permitted until I was eighteen.”
“You didn’t date until you were eighteen?” He swivels his head toward me, his light eyes meeting mine.
“Oh no, I dated. My father just didn’t approve. My mother put her foot down with him and like usual, she won. But that doesn’t mean he made it easy. Senior prom he brought a shot gun out onto the porch as my mom was taking pictures of me and my date.”
“He didn’t?” Thad looks both appalled and quite amused at the same time.
“Oh he did.” I laugh at the memory.
“I can
only imagine how he must have reacted when he learned you were moving to Los Angeles of all places.”
“I thought he was going to drop of a heart attack the day I packed my bags.”
“It’s gotta be nice though. Having someone love you that much.”
“I guess. It’s also pretty frustrating too.” I turn my gaze back out to the water. “What about you? Are you close to your parents?”
“I used to be.” I feel him shift next to me but keep my eyes forward. “They’re good people. Certainly too good to have to deal with a fuck up like me for a son.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Even though I really have nothing to back my statement up with.
“Trust me, it is.” He looks at me, our gazes once again locking. “We should probably head back,” he says, turning abruptly.
“Yeah, okay.” I hesitate before following him to Sheldon and Cocoa.
He avoids my gaze as he unties my horse and then his own, climbing on top of Sheldon with so much ease you would swear he’s been riding his entire life.
The ride back is quiet. I have a million questions I want to ask and yet for some reason don’t voice a single one. Instead I enjoy the silence – something you simply do not get in a city like L.A.
The sun disappears over the horizon as we pull up to the barn, a brilliant orange glow being cast over the grounds. I had forgotten how beautiful this place is.
“What time do you need me tomorrow?” I ask Thad as I lead Cocoa into her stall.
“Huh?” He seems confused by the question, turning to face me after securing Sheldon’s gate.
“The tractor. My dad said for me to help you.”
“Oh, right. Probably after breakfast if that works for you?”
“Works for me.” I smile, following him out of the barn. “Thank you again for coming with me. I’m sure there’s probably a million other things you could have been doing.”
“It was no problem.” He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning?” He pauses next to the back door.
“See you in the morning.” I give him a casual wave as I climb the back stairs and disappear inside.
I wait a total of five seconds before peeking out the window at the back of the mud room, catching sight of Thad moments before he reaches the camper and disappears inside.
Chapter Four
“Please tell me you’re coming back soon. L.A. sucks without you,” Whitney whines in my ear.
“God I hope so.” I sigh, pressing my feet down as I rock the front porch swing back and forth.
“Seriously. Come live with me.”
“You live in a three bedroom with four other girls. You don’t have room for me.”
“Girl, we can get you a thirty dollar air mattress.”
“And I’m sure your other roommates would just love having another person live there. Especially one that can’t afford to pitch in for rent.”
“I’ll cover you for a couple months until you line up more work.”
“Whit, I love you for offering, but we’ve been through this already. We both know you’re barely making ends meet as it is. As much as I hate it, I’m where I need to be right now.”
Whitney is one of the first people I met after arriving in L.A. Having just moved from Oregon, she was just as lost as I was. We met at an audition for some B-rated rom com and hit it off instantly. If it wasn’t for Whitney I probably wouldn’t have made it in L.A. as long as I did.
She saw me through several failed auditions, three shitty roommates, and two relationships that went belly up not long after they started. Turns out a lot of guys in the entertainment industry have a problem with monogamy.
“Well I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I.”
“At least tell me you’re getting some hot country boy tail while you’re there.”
“I’ve been home two days.” I laugh.
“Is that all? God, it feels like you’ve been gone months.” She sighs dramatically.
“But,” I start, chewing on my bottom lip. “There is this guy.”
“You slut.” She squeals. “Tell me everything.”
“It’s not like that.” I laugh at my crazy friend. “He’s someone I knew when I was little. His dad is friends with my dad. Apparently, he’s been here working on the ranch for the last few months.”
“Get to the good part. You know, the part where you tell me he’s got thick biceps and a tight ass you can’t help but stare at while he’s doing whatever it is hot guys do on a ranch.”
“Well, he definitely has thick biceps,” I tease. “And his ass is pretty perfect.”
“Tell me more.”
“I’m gonna have to take a picture when he’s not looking and send it to you. Think Mark Knox with lighter hair.” I try to think of the closest actor comparison, knowing Whit knows nearly every actor/actress on the scene. “Only his eyes are so light blue I swear it’s creepy. But in a good way. And he’s built but not overly ripped.”
“He sounds delicious.”
“That’s one way to put it.” My eyes lock on Thad as he crosses the yard in front of me carrying a large bag of feed over his shoulder. “He’s also serious bad news.”
“All the good ones are,” she practically sings in my ear. “So, you gonna hit that while you’re there or what?”
“Definitely not.” But I answer too quickly.
“Why do I get the feeling you had to force the not out in that sentence?”
“Because you know me well.” I laugh lightly, shaking my head. “He’s absolutely the kind of guy I would normally go for.”
“Then explain to me why you’re not going to?”
“Well for one, I barely know anything about him. Sure, he’s hot, but he could turn out to be a complete douche bag.”
“If you thought he was a douche bag we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Two, he works for my dad so that’s a big no.”
“And? You’re a grown ass woman. Give me an actual reason already, Lake.”
“I gave you two perfectly good reasons.”
“No, you gave me bullshit reasons.”
“Whatever, it’s not like it matters anyway. I’m pretty sure he’s not interested.”
“Yeah right.” She snorts like it’s the most absurd thing she’s heard all day.
“Seriously, Whit. We took the horses out yesterday and I got not even one indication that he was a little interested. And then today we spent three hours working on a tractor together and I swear he barely looked at me.”
“Maybe he’s shy.”
“I don’t think so. He seems like the kind of guy that would pin a girl against a wall and whisper all the dirty things he wants to do to her. I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. It’s not going to happen. I just wanted to share with you that I have some nice eye candy to distract me from the fact that I’m an utter and total failure.”
“You are not a failure.” She takes the bait, completely forgetting all about Thad in an instant. “Do you know how many big actors there are that experienced exactly what you are when they first started out?”
“You’ve given me the stats more times than I can remember.”
“Well then you know that you haven’t failed. The only way you fail is by giving up. Are you giving up?”
“Not a chance,” I answer instantly.
“Then there you go.”
“What would I do without you?” I laugh.
“I ask myself that question on the daily.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Laken,” my mother says seconds before she pushes her way through the screen door.
“Hey Whit, I gotta go.” I hold up a finger, asking my mom to give me a minute.
“Okay, but you better call me later. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Mark Knox lookalike with eyes so light they make your lady parts tingle. I want a picture.”
“I’ll do m
y best,” I tell her, not able to say more with my mom standing on the porch next to me.
“Love you.”
“Love you too, Whit.” I smile, ending the call seconds later. “What’s up?” I drop the ancient looking cordless phone into my lap before turning my gaze up to my mom.
“Dad is taking me into town for dinner. I wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything before we go.”
“I’m good.” I smile, noticing the floor length floral dress she’s wearing. “You look really nice. Where are you going?”
“Dad’s taking me to the new bistro in Morrow,” she says, referring to the next town over. “I’ve finally got him trying new things.”
“Only took you thirty years,” I tease.
“Lord don’t I know it.” She smiles, the action very similar to my own.
“You two have fun. Need me to do anything while you’re gone?”
“Nope. The twins are staying at Greg’s. Chris and Ben are going out and last I heard Thad’s tagging along. Looks like it’ll be just you tonight. You could always go visit Brad and Miranda. I’m sure they’d love to see you.”
“I might,” I tell her even though I have zero desire to visit my oldest brother and his wife. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t feel up to it this evening.
“Okay, well call me if you need anything.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I smile. “You two have fun.”
“We will.” She wiggles her fingers at me in a sort of wave before spinning and disappearing back inside.
Chapter Five
The house is quieter than I ever remember it being growing up. I’ve tried reading, watching television, flipping through some of my mom’s old magazines, but nothing has held my attention.
Deciding to take a walk to check on some of the animals, I slide a sweater on before making my way outside. The sun set less than thirty minutes ago and it already feels like the temperature has dropped twenty degrees.
I take off toward the barn, wishing I had thought to bring a flashlight. The grounds aren’t completely dark but given that there’s only one dimly lit flood light above the barn door I wouldn’t say they’re well lit either. I pick up the pace, having never loved being outside after dark by myself.
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