“What kind of baggage?” I question.
“It’s not my place to say. Just trust your mother on this one, okay? Now why don’t you go freshen up? When you’re done grab a pair of gloves and help me finish laying these seeds.” Her demeanor shifts so abruptly it takes me a moment to catch up. “These should have been planted already but the weather’s been too unpredictable.”
“Um, okay.”
“Just don’t be too long. I want to have this done by lunch time.”
“I’ll be right back,” I assure her, spinning on my heel and taking off toward the house.
I cross paths with Thad as I step inside. He’s coming out right as I’m going in. We both hesitate in the doorway.
“Sleep good?” He smirks, his voice low enough as to not be overheard by Chris who’s standing on the other side of the kitchen scrapping a plate into the trash.
“As a matter of fact, I did. That is until my mother caught me sneaking out of your camper.” I give him a pointed look.
“I take it she wasn’t pleased?” His smile dies on his lips and something between us shifts.
“She’s fine. You’re just lucky it wasn’t my father,” I joke.
“I should get back out there.” He gives me a slight tip of his chin before sliding past me without another word.
I stare after him for several seconds, wondering what the hell caused him to go from hot to cold so quickly. I thought he’d find the news of my mother catching me quite humorous. Hell, when I think about it, it really is kind of funny and totally my luck too.
I shake off the sick feeling that settles into the pit of my stomach and slide into the kitchen, assuring myself that I’m looking too much into it and at the same time wondering why the hell I care so much.
—-
It’s well into the afternoon by the time my mother and I finish with the garden. To my surprise she doesn’t bring Thad up again and I sure as hell wasn’t going to either.
Of course, not talking about him didn’t mean I wasn’t constantly looking over my shoulder the entire morning hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
It’s ridiculous really – this obsession I have with him. It’s like the moment I walked into my parents’ kitchen the morning after I arrived and saw him sitting at the table I have thought of nothing else.
Thad didn’t show for lunch, then again neither did any of my brothers. My mother took them all sandwiches out to the field where they’re working after we were finished eating.
I volunteered to run to the market for her, feeling like getting off the ranch for a few hours would help me clear my head.
While out, I stop by the library and use one of their computers to check my email and send out a few responses to emails I’ve received over the last couple of days. There’s nothing too interesting, although I did get some additional information on a potential role I’m interested in. I’ll need to keep an eye on it. Which means I will have to make it a point to come to town at least every couple of days as to not miss anything of importance. I’d hate to miss out on a potential career changing role because my family is still stuck in the Stone Age.
My parents don’t have internet and the cell service on the ranch is nearly nonexistent – hence why they still use a landline which is almost unheard of in this day and age. Hell, I didn’t even own a cell phone until I moved to Los Angeles. There was no need for one.
“Laken?” a male voice says from behind me right as I’m powering down the library computer.
Turning, my stomach bottoms out when I meet the gaze of the one person I honestly believed I’d likely never see again. Brylan Rivers. The boy I left behind.
He’s exactly as I remember. Tan skin, short blonde hair, clean shaved. The all American boy I gave my heart to at sixteen years old.
He’s a little broader now, more filled out than he was in high school. But other than that he is just as he was the day I left.
“Brylan. Hey.” I stand, offering him a friendly hug. “How are you?” I step back, forcing a smile I hope comes across as easy.
“I’m doing pretty good.” He shifts from one foot to the other. “What are you doing in town?”
“I’m home visiting for a couple weeks.” I shrug, leaving out the part where a couple weeks could end up being a hell of a lot longer if luck doesn’t go my way. “What about you? Last I heard you were in Arizona.”
“I was. I just finished up my last semester at Arizona State. I have to go back to finish up finals next week but then I’m officially a college graduate.”
“Wow. That’s amazing!” I say, probably a little too enthusiastically. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you moving back here or are you staying in Arizona?” I ask because it feels rude not to at least show some interest.
“I’m moving back for the summer. My Uncle Steve helped me land a pretty amazing internship with his buddy’s law firm in Cheyenne. I’ll be working there while I attend law school at the university this coming fall. Until then I’m taking a much needed break.”
“Sounds like you deserve it. Law school,” I say, pretty impressed that he’s stuck to his guns and is doing what he always said he would do.
I have to admit, back when I was forced to endure him and his football buddies chugging beer out of a bong and getting so drunk they could barely hold their own heads up nearly every single weekend, I had a hard time picturing him doing anything law related. He was always super smart but in high school he cared more about partying and football than anything else. It’s good to see that people really can change.
Unfortunately for me, I feel like I’ve been standing still for the past four years.
“Yeah, it’s been a lot of work. I’m looking forward to spending some time with my family and hanging out.”
“I bet. How is everyone?”
“Really good. Beth is in her second year at Swindell Community College. She’s waitressing over at Jack and Lorinda’s place. And Braiden graduates high school this year if you can believe it.”
“Little Braiden,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. The last time I saw Brylan’s little brother he was fourteen, scrawny as they come, and was terrified of girls. The exact opposite of his older brother.
“Hard to believe, right?” He chuckles. “What about you? How’s everyone?”
“Good. Really good. All the boys still work on the ranch with Dad. Mom still keeps them all in line.”
“And you? Still living in Los Angeles?”
“Yep.” I nod, rocking back on my heels and leaving out the full truth. In my mind I still do live in L.A. I just don’t have a place there at the current moment.
The mention of L.A. seems to put a cloud over the conversation and we both fall silent. Brylan never understood or supported my decision to pursue acting which is the main reason why I ended things shortly before I left for California. He insisted we could make it work, I knew we couldn’t. We were two very different people, and still are by the looks of it.
“Well, I should probably get going. My mom gave me a list as long as my arm of things she needs from the market.” I force a smile.
“Okay.” He nods slowly. “Well, it was good seeing you, Laken.” He steps to the side as I pass.
“Yeah, you too.” I throw a small wave over my shoulder before quickly taking off through the library.
I swear my feet no more than hit the sidewalk outside when I hear Brylan again.
“Hey.”
I whip around to see him exiting the library. He jogs the few feet to where I’m standing.
“Some of the guys are throwing me a sort of unofficial graduation party out at Tambers Lake next Saturday. You should come.”
“I don’t know.” I hesitate, honestly pretty caught off guard by the invitation. It’s not as if the two of us parted on the best of terms. If I remember correctly the last words he spoke to me before today were “I hope Hollywood chews you up and spits you out. And when you come crawling back
here, because you will, I’ll be here to rub it in your face.”
“Oh come on. It’ll be fun. A lot of your old friends will be there. I’m pretty sure Chris and Ben are coming. They’re friends with Beth.”
“I’ll think about it,” I tell him, not wanting to commit but not totally ruling it out either.
It would be nice to see some of my old friends from high school – most of which I haven’t spoken to since I left. I’m not proud of the way I picked up and took off, but back then it felt necessary. Hell, now that I think about it, I’m not sure if any of my old friends would even want to see me.
“Eight o’clock. You remember where?” he asks.
“Like I could forget.” I roll my eyes, having been to more parties there in high school than I could probably count.
“Good. I really hope you come.” He gives me a wide smile, then spins on his heel, taking off in the opposite direction.
If you would have asked me this morning what would have transpired if I ran into my ex-boyfriend, this would have been the exact opposite of what I would have said. I would have expected him to avoid me or, at the very least, be an asshole. But he did neither of those things. Hell, if I had to guess I’d almost say he was happy to see me.
Just goes to show you never really know. People can be just as unpredictable as life itself.
Chapter Eight
“So, I ran into Brylan today,” I tell my mom at the dinner table, various conversations floating about.
“I heard he was coming back for the summer. How was it?”
“He was surprisingly really nice,” I say, shoveling a bite of mashed potatoes into my mouth.
“Of course he was. That boy was crazy about you. Those feelings don’t go away because you went your separate ways.”
“The last time I saw him he was anything but crazy about me.”
“That’s because he was hurt.”
“I guess.” I let out a slow sigh, not sure how I feel about any of this.
Running into Brylan. Being home. Thad. It’s all making me feel a bit off centered.
With that thought, my eyes shift to the man sitting across the table from me. I’m surprised to find his gaze locked on me – clearly listening to our conversation.
“So are you going to his party next weekend then?” My mom pulls my attention back to her.
“How did you know he was having a party?”
“Ben mentioned something about it. He’s quite fond of Brylan’s sister,” she tells me in a hushed voice.
“Really?” I raise my eyebrows, surprised by this news.
The two are close in age and run in a lot of the same circles, but I never pinned Beth as Ben’s type. She’s a bit high maintenance. Or at least when I knew her she was. Whereas my brother prefers the simpler things in life.
Whispering, she says, “Don’t tell him I told you. I think the two are keeping it quiet for now.” She winks and clears her throat, no longer whispering, “You should go to the party. Might be good to see some of your old friends.”
“Maybe. Although I’m not sure any of them will want to see me.”
“Of course they’ll want to see you.” Her tone comes across like it’s the most absurd thing she’s ever heard.
God love my mother, but I think she gives people way too much credit.
“I told Brylan I’d think about it.”
“Well I hope you do.” She reaches over and pats the back of my hand. “You two were always so good together.”
“It’s not happening, Mom.”
“What?” she asks innocently like I don’t know full well what she’s hinting at.
“I’m going back to Los Angeles as soon as I find work. I’m not interested in starting anything with anyone. Especially my ex-boyfriend,” I bite, feeling Thad’s gaze hot on the side of my face.
“Is being here really that awful?” my mom snips, clearly offended by my outburst.
“Of course it isn’t. But I don’t belong here. My life is in L.A.”
“Your life used to be here.”
“Because I didn’t have a choice back then. Now I do. I love California. No, it hasn’t been as easy as I expected and clearly I’ve hit some major bumps, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to give up.”
“My god you are your father’s daughter. Stubborn as they come.” She hits my dad with a pointed look across the table even though he’s too busy talking to Brad to notice.
That’s what happens when you get eight adults, two teenagers, and a one year old all in the same room. There are too many conversations going on for anyone to know what the others are talking about.
It’s the first time my oldest brother and his family have come up for a meal since I arrived. As happy as I am that we’re all together, when you get all the boys together it’s like I don’t exist. And since Brad’s wife likes talking about hunting, fishing, and farm life more than the guys, she gets lumped in with them. Which leaves me and my mom, just like when I was a kid.
Hoping to steer the conversation into safer territory, I mention to my mom I saw some really pretty flowers at the flower shop today that I think would be perfect for her flower bed around the front porch. She seems relieved to talk about something else and quickly bites, spending the next several minutes telling me all about the flower show they put on last year in town and how she’d love if I would go with her this year. It’s in five weeks. And while I would love to go with her, I won’t be here come that time. At least not if I have anything to say about it. Instead of upsetting her by declining, I simply agree and decide I will tackle that hurtle when it comes.
Not long into our conversation about flowers, Thad excuses himself and much to my disappointment doesn’t return for the remainder of the evening.
It’s nearing eight o’clock when Brad, Miranda, and Devon finally leave and I’m able to excuse myself and sneak outside with Chris for a drink. As much as I love my family, they are best when taken in small doses.
“So, Mom’s giving you a hard time again?” Chris flops down onto the front porch swing next to me, sliding a cold beer into my hand.
“That obvious?” I ask, watching him lift his beer to his lips before doing the same with mine.
The cold liquid tastes like heaven on my tongue and I swallow it down greedily.
“She just misses you is all. I think she likes having another female in the house.”
“Miranda’s around,” I remind him.
“Yeah, but it’s not like she’s here a lot. Her and Brad have their own lives and while Brad still works on the ranch, it’s very rare we see him otherwise.”
“Chris,” I start, ready to cut off this guilt trip before it really gets going.
“Listen, I support you. I always have, you know that. I’m not saying give up and come home for Mom’s sake. I’m just asking that you cut her a little slack.”
“I do. I have been.”
“Is that what your little outburst was about earlier?” He cocks a brow at me, taking a long pull from his bottle.
“You caught that, huh?”
Guess my brothers aren’t all as oblivious as I had assumed. Or at least one of them isn’t.
“It’s not like you were trying to hide it. What she’d do? Suggest you and Brylan get back together?”
“Not in so many words, but yes, she was definitely hinting at it.”
“She’s just hoping you’ll find something important enough to keep you here.”
“Brylan wasn’t enough to keep me here the first time around. Besides, I don’t need a reason to stay, I have plenty,” I point out, nudging him with my elbow.
“You know what I mean.” He smiles, leaning back in the swing as he begins to rock us gently back and forth. “We have our own lives and not one of us would ever expect that you would give up your dream for us. But if you found someone, then perhaps you’d feel differently.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Not at all.” He chuckles. “You’ve had
one foot out the door since you were old enough to walk. There was never a chance of keeping you here. But that doesn’t mean our mother isn’t still holding on to hope.”
“I wish she’d accept that this is who I am.” I sigh, taking another drink of my beer as I stare out at the dark grounds.
“She has accepted it. And she’s prouder of you than she will probably ever let on. Her and dad both are. As much as they hate that you left, they love that you were brave enough to do so at the same time. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re her only girl and she worries about you and misses you. Maybe if you came to visit more often.” He gives me a pointed look.
“I realize I haven’t been the greatest about that. I guess I was just scared of getting stuck here.”
“And yet here you are.” He tips his bottle at me before lifting it to his lips.
“Here I am.” I sigh, mirroring his actions.
“Well, for what it’s worth I’m glad you’re here. Even if it is for a short time. I’ve missed you, kid.”
“I’ve missed you too.” I lay my head on his shoulder for a brief moment.
“So, about Brylan’s party. You should come.”
“Not you too.” I straighten, narrowing my gaze at him.
“No way.” He shakes his head adamantly. “I always thought you could do better than that tool.”
“That tool is going into law school in the fall,” I say, still finding that piece of information hard to process.
“Still a tool.” My brother laughs.
“You might be right there.” I giggle.
“I just think it would be fun. We haven’t gone to a party together since Janice Princeton’s house the week before you left for L.A. I know a lot of the guys would love to see you and I’m sure some of your friends would too.”
“You and Ben are both going?”
“As far as I know. Though don’t bet on Ben being any kind of company.”
“Yeah, I heard. Beth Rivers. Never saw that one coming.”
“None of us did. But you know Ben – he’s always been a sucker for pretty girls.”
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