Just as I think I have her, she pulls away. The tears in her eyes tell me how painful it is for her to push on my chest and separate us. “I’m sorry, Tobias. I have to get back to my daughter.”
My daughter. Two words. One broken heart.
With Jenna in bed already, I grab a tall glass of water and head to my own bedroom with my laptop. Tobias will be calling in less than five minutes — always beyond punctual. Precise would be a better word for it.
I place the water down on my nightstand and lean back against the headboard, positioning all my pillows on my legs so the little camera on my laptop aligns with my bust. Speaking of — looking good. I adjust my breasts before rolling my eyes at myself. It was against my better judgment when I started taking his video calls, but he had first insisted that it was all about Jenna. It quickly became more than that.
His face comes on the screen, and Tobias smiles big and warm. “Hey, baby. You’re looking beautiful tonight.”
He says it every night, and it still makes me flush. I get emotional every damned time — like I don’t know it’s coming. I keep my tone the faux serious he seems to find humorous. “And you’re looking dapper this morning, Commander Dean.”
He takes an over-exaggerated a sip of his coffee in profile, checking the camera to make sure I’m watching. “Thank you, babe. I miss you. I was thinking about you last night.” He pauses and tosses his head back and forth, his eyes going to the ceiling. “I may have done something naughty to myself.”
I completely ignore his attempt at reeling me into another round of long-distance phone sex — with the added bonus of getting a mental visual of his insinuations. “I booked a hotel in Chicago for Jenna’s tournament. I got the deluxe room you insisted on, even though you won’t be there.”
Tobias transforms from playful to serious. “I really wish you would spend more of my money. It’s great that you’re setting aside money for Jenna’s college, but I’m sending you every penny of my military paycheck — because you absolutely refuse to take anything else. Please. Please get yourself a better apartment.”
“And leave this place? I love this apartment.”
Tobias lets his ear drop to his right shoulder. “Please. You’re constantly complaining about everything breaking and your super never come to fix any of it. And the people across the hall who slam the door every time they leave, and the guy upstairs who plays the electric guitar — the same song over and over and over and over—”
“But Stairway to Heaven is such a classic. I can’t get enough of it.”
He raises his hands to both sides as though pleading with God. “Baby! At least move into my apartment. I won’t even be there, for Christ’s sake.”
I stopped debating with him over this a month ago. Not only does the money debate get neither of us anywhere, but I know not talking about it infuriates him, and for some reason — I like infuriating him. “I also got her that pink and green performance outfit.”
I have to laugh, because he lights it up. “Oh! The one with black prisms?”
“Yes. That one.”
His eyes narrow, and I can see him eyeing my breasts from two thousand miles away. “You know what I’d like to see you in right now? None of the guys are around.”
I cover my boobs with a pillow. “No goodies for you, Commander Dean.”
“Baby, it’s been a month since you’ve given me a little show and tell. Come on. That was hot. I’ll show you mine.”
He doesn’t have to tell me how hot it was. I remember quite well, thank you. Up until a month ago, I would do things like place the laptop on my mattresses so I could stand up and give him a strip tease. It took a lot of convincing on his part at first, but he had finally goaded me into masturbating for him. It was all worth it to see him push his camo cargo pants down his hips and show me that big cock of his I miss it so much. But I can’t. Not now — not without him seeing. And I don’t want it to affect his decision.
“Patience is a virtue, Commander Dean. And military officers are nothing if not virtuous, now aren’t they?”
“Maybe in the Air Force. All the officers in the Navy are horn dogs.”
“Sounds like it’s going to be a long couple weeks for you, then.”
I hear his name being called from offscreen, and Tobias’s attention is drawn. He looks perturbed and barks out some orders in a series of acronyms and military lingo that is still foreign to my ears. He turns his eyes back to me, but I can already tell his mind is on the mission. “Listen, babe, I gotta go. Duty calls. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to be on tomorrow. I’ll try.”
“I know you’ll try.”
He clicks off the screen, and I sign off as well. I close the laptop and lean my head back. That man is in love with the military. He’s in love with the adrenaline and the mission. I place my hand over the little bump forming on my belly and try to tell myself it’s going to be okay.
I’m not sure whether this is coincidence or cruelty. Kelly pulls up to the same cabin I had first taken Casey to at least four months ago now. The night it all began.
“She’s in there?” I ask.
Kelly adjusts the stick shift, putting the car into idle. “She is. Be good to her, Toby.”
“I plan on it.” I squeeze at my rucksack, which I had refused to put in the trunk, even though Kelly did her best to insist. I needed something to fidget with on the ride here. “Thank you again for helping to convince the rest of the family that I don’t come home until next week. I need the decompression, especially if this doesn’t go as I hope.”
She gives me this wry smile. “A wise birdie once told me soldiers may want a little time to themselves when they get home. And, Toby, she’s scared. I know you’re excited to see her, but keep your cool… No matter what… Okay?”
She’s right. I feel like I have a turbojet engine going off inside of my chest, but the military has done well in training me to remain collected when my nerves are on edge. “As a cucumber, got it.”
Casey’s old, rusty truck is parked in the drive, and I greet it as an old friend as I walk up the path and toward the front door. I let myself in, and the place is quiet. It’s not entirely empty, because there are a few lights on, but there’s a dark emptiness to the place. Not at all like when Casey and Jenna lit up the place nearly five months ago now.
I exit the front hallway, and the open floor plan expands before me. I take in the sight, turning to my right — and there she is. I drop my rucksack in preparation of running to her, but I remember the need to be a cucumber. Casey is bent over the kitchen countertop, her forearms resting on the surface. She looks nice — damn good — in that lavender sweater, and I wish she would step out from behind the countertop so I can see all of her. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her in person, and I want to take all of her in.
I feel woefully underdressed in my head to toe camouflage fatigues. I feel like I should be greeting her with a tuxedo and flowers — but this is me. “Hey, baby. You look beautiful tonight.”
A sad smile spreads over her face, and she swallows then licks her lips. “Looking pretty dapper as well, Commander Dean. Tell me. I want to hear your determination on affairs.”
I take a step forward, but I hold immediately when she hunches over even more — seemingly protecting herself. I don’t understand why she should be scared. All I ever want to do is to be good to her. “Nothing has changed, babe. I want both of you. I want it all. But, I know I was being rash before I left. I know I’m going to have to work for it.”
“What is it you’re going to work for? Give me a mission objective, Commander Dean.”
Hope swells in my chest, because I see the same thing in her eyes as well. “My contract will be up in five months. Before you — before Jenna — I was planning on reenlisting. Now I want to come home. I want to be a father, and I want to be the best of whatever you will let me be — whether that be a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. Just let me take care of my girls, please.”
Casey bites at her bottom lip, her eyes go to the ceiling — and I know she is attempting to hold back tears. Good. I can take tears — I can take emotion — I can’t take this coolness any longer. “I’ve missed you, Tobias. But, are you sure you want to come home? Are you sure you aren’t going to regret your decision? Being a father and being with me — it isn’t going to be anything like what you are doing over there.”
I take another step forward, and this time Casey doesn’t fold in on herself. “What I’m doing over there is working for something bigger than myself. My team is my family, but they’ll be fine without me. Hell, you and Jenna may be fine without me — but I’m never going to be okay without you two. I need you in a way the military will never need me back. If you think for one moment that I would rather be in the desert with an assault rifle instead of here with you and my daughter… Taking care of you and Jenna — that’s the new mission objective.”
She puts her hand to her mouth and gently rubs at her lips with her fingertips. Finally, she stands and walks out from behind the counter. “I would like that, Tobias. I’m going to need a lot of taking care of in about five months.”
I can now see the lavender sweater has a sash high up just below her breast — and above… “You’re pregnant?”
Kelly was right — she’s scared. The look comes into her eyes once again, and Casey gets ready to shrink in on herself. I don’t let her. My woman — my baby — she’s never going to be scared again a day in her life. Fuck the cool as a cucumber act. I rush forward and take her in my arms, lifting her from the ground and pressing my lips to hers as I have dreamt of for the past three months.
The months of seeing his face over a video-com link have been torture. Now, having his arms around me is heaven. His strong and passionate lips have been a feature in my dreams. And now they are clasped over mine, claiming me as his own.
Tobias pulls away, gentle and cautious. He touches the beginning of my baby bump and licks his lips, his eyes tearing up and pure vulnerability shading his features. “You have no idea how happy this makes me, babe. Don’t you think for one moment that I don’t want this. This is all I’ve ever wanted.”
I don’t trust myself to speak — I don’t think any words would come out, anyway. Just the pads of his fingertips brush against my cheek, and the gentle touch draws me in for another kiss. Tobias bends at the knee and scoops me up, one arm behind my knees and the other below my shoulder blades. I squeal in protest, but my arms go around his neck — loving the feel of weightlessness in his strong arms.
He walks me to the bedroom and sets me down on the mattress. My fingers are at his camouflage top, unbuttoning the thick fabric to expose the tight fitting tan shirt beneath. He pulls the button-up off and then his undershirt. He goes for the long laces on his boots next, and I take the opportunity to strip off my sweater.
By the time Tobias kicks off his boots and lifts his eyes, I am braless — laying exposed for him. He freezes as he takes in the sight, his gaze going from my breast to my belly. He climbs onto the mattress, straddling one of my legs, and that big, muscled arm of his reaches out to touch me. He grazes my belly, rounding my navel and then rises to my breast, bunching the soft tissue in his palm and presenting it to his lips. His dog tags are cold as they fall between my breasts.
A touch of his mouth to my nipple brings the wetness to my sex, and my hands are already searching for what I know will bring me my ultimate satisfaction. I pull at his camouflage pants, getting to the button and releasing the fastening. I unzipped him, and as I go, I feel his hardness pressing against the fabric.
He lifts his head from my breasts. “You take that out, and I can’t promise I’m going to be able to take it slow, babe.”
I’ve taken it slow my entire life — until I met Tobias. I dip my hand beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs, enjoying his reaction as he gasps and his chest muscles flex into hard rocks. “I’ve been waiting three months for this. Don’t you make me wait any longer.”
Tobias smiles wickedly, a naughty gleam coming into his eye. “Yes, ma’am.”
He trails kisses between my breasts and back down my belly, coming to my waistband. He continues down the mattress, taking my jeans and panties both with him until I am naked on the sheets. Tobias shunts his camouflage fatigues as well – a flexing, cigar smoking Donald Duck coming into view on his left ass check.
I smile and giggle at the dukes-up, mean looking cartoon duck, giving him a little wave. “I’ve been looking at Daisy Duck tattoo’s. Maybe no cigar, but she can look tough, too.”
Tobias, his erection standing tall and massive, kicks his fatigues to the side, remounting the mattress. “You’ve already shown me how tough you are, babe. Besides, my girl doesn’t need any more reason for me to look at her ass.”
In just a moment, he’s back between my legs where he belongs, his lips dwelling over my rounded stomach before he ascends to my mouth.
Tobias holds himself over top of me by his forearms, and my hands explore his hard body, tracing over the lines and dips and valleys I have kept alive in my dreams. His cock presses into my entrance, and he slowly opens me. I moan freely for him, needing to verbalize how badly I desire him to be inside. With a slow, measured thrust, Tobias goes deeper, and my tight walls envelope him.
“God, babe. We fit perfect, don’t we?”
He’s right. We’re dynamite. I run my hands down his back and press on his ass cheeks. “More. I want all of you.”
Tobias lowers his body closer to mine, his hard stomach coming into contact with mine, and he seats his shaft fully inside. We lay in perfect union, his lips gentle at first, his cock throbbing as his hips move in the slow rhythm of making love.
My fingers dig into his back, and his explore my hair and down my body. His lips move from my neck down to my breast and back up again. Sweat slicks the space between our bodies as he sways into me, and the feeling of him filling me begins to swell. It moves up my belly and into my chest, where I can feel the heat of a flush. It moves up my neck, and the wonderful haze of an orgasm takes over my brain.
I cry out as I come, and Tobias begins to groan as I twist and writhed beneath him. He growls and then yells as he fills me with his seed once again.
He doesn’t move from over top of me. Tobias kisses me and smooths my hair with his rough palm. He lifts just far enough so we can see one another clearly. “We have this cabin for a whole week, you know? I hope you don’t mind if we rarely leave this bedroom.”
I lift my knees and wrap my arms around him, encircling him in an all-encompassing embrace. “We have a lot of catching up to do, Commander Dean.”
I’ll never ceased to be amazed at her grace. Jenna swings in a three-sixty around the parallel bar, going into the splits as she tips and goes upside down. I twist with her as my daughter spins with one hand and comes to a sudden halt, performing a handstand on top of the bar. Nailed it.
I squeeze both fists, reminding myself of my promise to Casey to be cool as a cucumber. When I squeeze my left hand, my ring comes into contact with Casey’s diamond. I look down at our wedding bands, the sight hitting me anew every time. I open my palm and use my thumb to twist her diamond so that it rests against the tough carbon fiber of my band. It’s exactly who we are — priceless beauty coming into contact with tough yet flexible.
She catches me staring, and I give the mother of my child — of my children — my full attention. Casey holds my son. Think of that — my son! “You want me to take Grady? You can have a break. You’ve been holding him all morning.”
She gives me that what-are-you-thinking look. “Not while you’re all worked up.”
The crowd gasps, and I jerk my attention back to Jenna. My body tenses as I realize she’s executing swing after swing, getting ready for the dismount. With my free hand, I grip onto the stiff plastic arm of the chair in the big sports center, feeling it twist underneath my grip. I begin to sway with her, my torso making to and fro motions as she picks up speed.
&
nbsp; I know exactly the point at which she has to release, the angle at which she needs to exit her swing, and the height she needs in order to complete the double twist and flip. Here it comes. My baby girl lets go. She flies up at just the right angle, and my ass lifts off the seat with her. I’m riveted as Jenna tucks her arms into her chest, her legs pull together, and she spins in a tight circle, head pointing toward the mats and then back up again.
The soles of her feet make contact with the ground, and her knees bend. She holds her hands out to the side, checking an unerring balance. Just the slightest forward momentum is stopped before she is at a complete halt and her hands are in the air, her chest sticking out with pride. The mass of parents and spectators at the competition begin a polite clap, but fuck that.
I launch out of my chair, pumping my fist in the air over my head. “Fuck yes. You nailed it, baby.”
Casey tugs at my jeans, and I know she’s a little embarrassed, but my baby girl is beaming at me. She gives me a huge smile and two-handed wave as the crowd murmurs at me. Fuck ‘em. That’s my girl. Jenna turns to her coach, who gives her a high five, and I acquiesced to Casey’s obvious promptings for me to sit back down.
“Classy, Commander Dean,” she says with that pursed lipped smile that lets me know she isn’t really all that upset.
I sit back down next to the love of my life. “It’s Daddy. Commander Dean is retired.”
I hear what is supposed to be the hushed tones of a feminine voice a couple rows back. “Who’s that?”
The mystery voice is answered by another woman. “That’s Jenna’s father.”
Damn right, that’s Jenna’s father. “Now give me my baby boy.”
Casey holds our sleeping six-month-old up by his sides, and I carefully place my hands over hers before she relinquishes him to my care. The little guy is so small. I place him against my chest, using one arm to cradle him in the crook of my bicep, my big hand practically covering the entirety of his back. I send my left hand on a mission up high on Casey’s inner thigh. She gives me a not-here look that makes me smile and wink.
SEAL's Secret: A Secret Baby Military Romance Page 8