“Regan,” he began, taking her softly by the shoulders, he looked sadly into her eyes. The smile slowly slipped from her face as he explained that it was time for her to strike out on her own. Without him.
Regan stared at him with tears swimming in her lovely blue eyes as she allowed him to finish his speech. She didn’t say a word until he was through, then she just nodded. “I’ll go get my things from your place.”
“I’ve already had it done for you.”
Stunned silence filled the room. And he was certain he felt the temperature drop by a few degrees. She held his gaze, she was waiting for him to deliver the next blow.
“I had your things taken to La Marionette this evening. I booked you into a suite there, you’ll be safe.”
“Thank you, but I prefer Bandolero’s. I’ll call and have my things sent over there.”
Stunned at her reaction and refusal to stay at his chosen hotel, he glared, nostrils flaring as he swiftly exhaled.
“Ego,” she said softly, her expression wistful as she wagged a playful finger at him for the very last time. She rose and opened the door wide. “Bye, Thorne.”
***
When Regan walked out of his life, Thorne’s world held significantly less color. His first show without her had been hard, cold, but he was the only one who seemed to notice. No one had expected her to be on the show forever, and Vance had lined up a veritable parade of other willing celebrity guests to charm and entertain his audience.
He’d assumed over time, being without her would get easier. It hadn’t. Weeks later, he still missed her. When she hadn’t been singing on the show, she’d been waiting for him in the dressing room; now he was alone. His staff were all back to their usual routine. She’d moved out of his life in every way.
She continued her concert series at Madison’s Starlight Gardens, he passed her smiling vibrant billboard every day on his way to work. Trying to ignore the ache, the simple sight of her image brought to his chest. And he saw her almost daily making guest appearances on a variety of different talk shows, singing mainly, she didn’t like to chat much about herself and had apparently made that clear to all the hosts. They were very willing to go along with that, simply talking about her and her talent as they introduced her, and allowing her to just sing—exchanging only a few words in greeting—and then to leave. She was in such high demand, of course she was getting her own way. She even went on TV shows that competed against his show’s time slot. He lost. His viewers wanted to know when she’d be back on his show. He simply said her schedule was full for the moment. Now, sitting in his dressing room, he watched her on yet another show.
She was turning into a prima donna.
Thorne turned at the unexpected sound behind him, realizing he’d voiced his last opinion out loud.
“She’s not the only one, you know.”
“Yeah, I know, she’s been hanging out with Loretta.”
“I didn’t mean Loretta. I meant you,” Vance said quietly.
“What do you mean?” he demanded.
“Regan was right when she called you a prima donna, Thorne. You’re as much a prima donna as you say Loretta is.” Thorne stared in disbelief, Vance was his friend as well as his producer, he’d just listened patiently and nodded when he’d explained weeks ago what had happened with Regan.
“Don’t be so bloody ridiculous!” He leaped to his feet about to storm out of the room.
“Don’t want to hear the criticism, Thorne?” Vance asked, as Thorne hovered in the doorway.
“Of what? I haven’t done anything wrong! Since that woman…” he pointed at Loretta who currently graced the TV screen in his dressing room, singing alongside Regan, “…walked into my life, it’s been turned upside down!”
“You turned your own life upside down, and tell me, how exactly does Loretta qualify as a prima donna, just the fact that you don’t like her?”
“She came in here demanding that we do the show instantly! She insisted someone walk her dog…” he paused, remembering Regan’s words, that expecting an assistant to walk Rugly hadn’t been that unreasonable.
“Thorne, she called ahead and told us that Rugly would be with her, apprised us of his needs, and asked, not demanded, that the show go on right away while she was still fresh, she had been on tour for months. She was tired. You could have taped the show right away if you had wanted to, and rerun it an hour later, and you knew it, so did she. If she was such a prima donna, how come no one else thinks so, but you?”
Thorne glared at him, remembering very well the way Loretta had tried to take over, but then he faltered. Was that the truth? Or was it just the way he viewed it? Loretta had disagreed with him, and he’d practically booted her off the show. Now he’d kicked out the best thing that had happened to him in years—Regan, because she was starting to disagree with him too. He groaned.
“Take a vacation, buddy,” Vance said, his hand resting on Thorne’s shoulder.
Thorne’s heart suddenly plummeted. Did that mean he was going to be fired? This show had become his life. It wasn’t about money, he had plenty now, but if he didn’t have the show, then who was he?
“It’s just a vacation,” Vance reiterated, seeing Thorne’s sudden stricken expression. “But it’s an order. Don’t come back for two weeks. We’ll go into reruns, maybe have a guest host or two.”
Vance might be right about him needing time off. He suddenly felt the need for a break from everything, but not without talking to Regan first.
***
Thorne walked into the plush red velvet lobby of Bandolero’s, it was a quaint old fashioned style high rise hotel with long term ‘guest suites’, this was where Regan had said she would be.
“Can I help you, sir?” The young male concierge asked politely.
“I’m here to see Regan.”
He didn’t even have to give her last name, everyone in the world knew who she was now.
“Is she expecting you, sir?”
“No, I don’t believe so, but…” No-one had ever questioned his right to be anywhere, at least not in years. He was used to doors always being open to him.
“Then I will just buzz her, sir, and ask if she’d like to see you.” The young man, oblivious to who he was talking to, did just that. Thorne was tempted to rip into him, no-one kept Thorndike Lundquist waiting, but it had stunned him. He just sat quietly and waited. Obviously the man didn’t know who he was.
“Miss Jordan says she will see you, Mr. Lundquist.” Wrong, then he did know who he was and didn’t care? “She has another visitor at the moment, but she says you are welcome to join them.”
“Who?” Thorne’s hackles rose. Was she already dating someone new?
“Miss Lindstrom.”
Thorne groaned. Loretta was the last person he wanted to see when he needed to talk to Regan. But Regan would most likely be surrounded by other people from now on. Hopefully, he could garner a few moments alone with her. The concierge summoned the elevator and walked over to punch in a security code to send him up to see Regan.
Thorne stepped out of the elevator and into a plush suite with giant wall to ceiling windows overlooking the city. A city view of her own, just as she had always dreamed of having. No wonder she’d preferred Bandolero’s over La Marionette. His heart somersaulted in his chest as she approached.
“Hello, Thorne.”
“Hello, Regan, Loretta.” He nodded to the older woman, and for the first time really looked at her, as both Vance’s observations and Regan’s words echoed in his head. Loretta’s eyebrows rose. Her famous green eyes weren’t cold at all, merely searching. With a glance at Regan she stepped into the other room to give them some privacy.
Regan looked soft, feminine and beautiful, as always. Her soft brown hair cascaded loosely over her shoulders, her gentle blue eyes held his in inquiry. He’d missed her. Their months together had truly been something else. Something he’d never felt before. He’d adored her, but then everyone did. She was smart eno
ugh to protect herself from the reporters, and apparently Loretta had been helping her. She was everything he’d ever wanted in his life, everything he needed to make him whole.
“I love you, Regan, you help me keep my feet on the ground,” he said, unsure how else to begin this conversation. He hadn’t said he loved her before, though she had freely told him frequently that she loved him.
“I love you too, Thorne, but your feet aren’t on the ground,” she said sadly. “They haven’t been for a very long time.”
“Come home?” he asked. He’d hoped for a greater reaction to his declaration.
“So that you can kick me out again on a whim?” Regan questioned softly, and his heart plummeted. “I need more from a relationship than that, Thorne.”
What did she want from him?
“Take some time for yourself, Thorne,” she said, almost echoing Vance’s thoughts. “You need to reconnect with who you really are…in here.” She grazed her hand lightly below his left rib cage, and his heart did a somersault at the gentle touch he’d missed so much.
Then she punched the button for the elevator, and automatically he stepped into it as she turned and walked away.
Chapter Five
Thorne paced his apartment, everywhere he looked there were reminders of her. Regan. Even in simply looking at what once used to be a relaxing view—the sparkling lights of the city he had always loved, glittering below in the darkness—he remembered Regan’s first visit here, and her unabashed enjoyment of everything around her. And his recent frustration at losing control.
Control?
Why did he feel he had the right to control her? He’d started out with the right motives, trying to help the young innocent girl from Iowa to get on her feet, but then he’d wanted to retain that control, and when she hadn’t bowed to his superior judgment, he’d booted her out. He sat down and tossed his head back against the soft cushions of the sofa, the place where they’d explosively made love for the first time. She was everywhere. He could almost smell her soft fragrance, as though it had become a part of him and his everyday life. What had once been a comforting thing now haunted his senses. He leaped to his feet and strode out onto the balcony, feeling the sting of the cold night air against his skin. Somewhere down below, someone was playing Loretta’s most famous song. It will always be you. He dragged a hand over the back of his neck, feeling the tension in the corded muscles. Even a workout wouldn’t help this. He hadn’t made love in weeks. Maybe that was what he needed, a woman’s touch, but unfortunately the only woman he wanted was Regan. The song ended and he realized, it was not just Loretta he’d been listening to, the two women were actually on the radio together, it had been a duet. Regan was already a full-fledged wealthy star in her own right, with a brilliant future ahead, and the right to make her own decisions. And she had a very close friend and mentor in Loretta Lindstrom. He thought over the few times he’d met the woman and groaned. She set his teeth on edge.
He returned to the studio, he needed to speak with Vance his friend, not Vance his producer.
Vance showed him the green room footage of his meeting with Loretta. They kept everything from each episode of his show, both backstage and in front of the camera. It did nothing to relieve his tension. It wasn’t as he remembered it at all. He sighed. He remembered what he’d felt, not what had actually happened.
He wondered if Loretta would ever forgive him for his behavior. He watched the entire interview and realized why no one else had sensed anything wrong but him. His dislike of the singer had made it impossible for him to connect with her. Though he could honestly acknowledge it wasn’t one hundred percent his fault, it was pretty close. She certainly hadn’t helped him out, but then why would she?
He realized with a groan, he’d become the same as some of the celebrities he privately criticized. He’d made a career for himself, built his own wealth, become accustomed to his circumstances, and begun to feel entitled. He’d fallen into the same trap. He wasn’t unpleasant or mean spirited, but people catered to him. So much so, that he took it all for granted. Had taken it all for granted, he amended. That was about to change. He knew Vance was a good friend, and he just wanted him to take some time off to reconnect with who he really was. To keep the onscreen personality on screen, and the rest of the time, simply be himself. They were two separate entities, he’d forgotten that. He’d kicked Regan out of his home like he would dismiss an untrustworthy or difficult employee at the station. He’d been so busy trying to protect her from the pitfalls of show business, that he hadn’t realized he’d fallen prey to them himself.
But Regan had fallen in love with him, despite everything, and had even teased him a little about his ego. Did that mean he still had a chance? Did she still love him? Both Regan and Vance had told him to take some time. Hard as it would be, he intended to follow their advice.
***
Two weeks later, Thorne returned to the studio. Nothing had changed. Nothing that is, except for him. Everything felt different, new again. And he was determined he was going to win Regan back.
“Today’s guest cancelled,” Vance said, eyeing Thorne warily.
“Why?”
Vance shrugged. “A stomach bug apparently. We were able to get last minute replacements though.”
“Who?” Thorne asked, sensing from Vance’s body language he wasn’t going to like it.
“Loretta and Regan.”
Thorne stared at him in disbelief, “Both of them?”
Vance nodded, apparently waiting for something more, but Thorne just continued to stare at him, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and unprepared; he wasn’t sure he was ready for this on his first day back. He’d planned to call Regan, invite her out to an intimate dinner, talk to her quietly, privately…
Vance sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t believe it! The Thorndike Lundquist acting like a wounded, lovesick puppy? Anger I could deal with. But this?” He shook his head. “I tried to warn you, Thorne, in the beginning…not to get too involved…”
Thorne held up his hand, halting the lecture. “Are they here yet?”
“No, not yet. Did you want to see them before they go on?”
“No, not unless it’s necessary,” Thorne said, rising to his feet.
“Fine, then we’ll just keep it at their performance, you know neither of them likes to chat on TV,” Vance said, as he walked out leaving Thorne alone with his thoughts.
Why had he been willing to accept that in Regan, but not Loretta? Insisting on chatting with a star who was known only for her singing, not her personal appearances? And making her wait two hours when he didn’t have to, just to prove he was in charge? Making her nervous, he suddenly realized. She hadn’t been answering him in monosyllables because she was angry. She hated interviews! Just because she was comfortable performing, didn’t mean she was comfortable in the interview chair. She almost never gave interviews. And he’d blown it. Regan had quickly informed him early on that interviews made her uncomfortable, she’d understood the need for them initially, but as time went on and the questions became naturally more intrusive, he’d simply introduced her, and allowed her to sing. That was where she was the most comfortable, on stage with her microphone and the music.
Just like Loretta.
After the show, he would try again, he would talk to Regan. She was willing to come here, so she obviously didn’t hate him. But Loretta? He realized he had some apologizing to do. He sat down with pen and paper, and wrote as only one celebrity to another could truly understand. Of the unwitting toll the business had taken on him.
***
“Are you ready for this, Regan?” Loretta asked, smiling at her protégé.
“As ready as I’ll ever be!” Regan admitted, she couldn’t believe how quickly she had become accustomed to the cameras and audiences, though she was able to tune out everything once she began to sing. But it wasn’t the cameras and the performance Loretta was really asking her about.
“You
still love him?”
“I think I always will,” Regan sighed sadly.
“Life can be very short, Regan, don’t hold onto your anger whatever you do.”
“But he’s so pig-headed!” Regan exclaimed.
“He thought he was bossing you about for your own good, taking care of you. It’s a rough business.”
Regan sighed and looked at her new friend. “How did you get to be so wise, Loretta?”
“The hard way,” Loretta answered ruefully.
“I should go and talk to him…”
A tap at the door alerted Regan she was going on in a few minutes. Loretta would join her after her first song.
“Later,” Loretta said, with a soft smile. “Don’t worry these things have a way of working themselves out when you love someone.”
As soon as Regan strode out of the green room to join Thorne on the set, Jenny appeared, handing Loretta an envelope. “Miss Lindstrom, I apologize, I have a note for you. I meant to give it to you earlier…”
Loretta nodded her thanks and took the note from Thorne. She read his words with a knowing smile.
Chapter Six
The lights went up, and Thorne introduced Regan, then simply seated himself in the custom made leather and velvet chairs. He knew the cameras were rolling, taking in every nuance of his expression, as well as sweeping the audience for their enthralled reactions when Regan began to sing. And then, after her first song, with a delightful fanfare of emotion, Regan announced Loretta was here to sing with her. The audience went completely wild.
Loretta strode out onto the stage, taking Regan’s hand in hers, they sang the song everyone had loved hearing Regan sing for the first time here, the one that had also made Loretta famous many years earlier. It will always be you. Regan’s voice blended in perfect harmony with Loretta’s. It was being rereleased as a duet and played continually on every radio station.
When the applause died down, Loretta took the microphone. Thorne sat back and let her, she’d been gracious enough to come here after his behavior last time.
It Will Always Be You (Starlight Walk Series #1) Page 4