Erin held on to my hand as we walked back to Drake’s room. She must have known something she hadn’t wanted to say in front of Ryder. Or she just wanted to make sure she got me out of the room. Her uneasiness flowed beneath my skin.
“You totally should have come with me to San Antonio, it was so much fun!” She rambled. “I worked a total of ten minutes, signed some posters—”
“You have posters?”
“Of course. Those puppies sell for thirty bucks, signed. Took some pictures with some fans. The things those guys say. These big, burly men with huge cowboy hats and southern drawls wanting me to spank them ‘til they cry. I could hardly keep a straight face. Anyway, I got treated to a great dinner, put up in a nice room. The Riverwalk looked like so much fun, but I didn’t have anyone to play with. I feel like I miss out on so much. I mean, some of the guys from the club offered to show me the city, but I always say no to that type of stuff. You never know who you’re dealing with.”
“It makes me feel so better to hear that.” We were standing in front of a door that was probably Drake’s room. Erin didn’t make any effort to open the door right away. Maybe she wasn’t ready, either.
“I’m selling sex. It doesn’t make me stupid.” She frowned.
“I know you’re smart. But you know it’s risky. I worry.”
“And I love you for that.” Now she smiled, and then dug into her pocket for the key.
Showtime.
Drake sat at the hotel desk, in front of a laptop with a leather folder opened to the side. He looked over his reading glasses at us as we entered. I fought the urge to snicker at his granny glasses. They looked like he got them at the dollar store.
“Ladies.”
“Hey, honey.” Erin kissed him on the top of the head, then sat on the bed with a bounce. “Be nice to Melanie, okay?” She pouted slightly. God, she might not act stupid around these other guys, but Drake brought it out in her. Her voice even went up an octave. Maybe it was her way of flirting, but it infuriated me. Did she need to act like a child to capture his imagination?
Ugh.
“Why wouldn’t I be nice to Melanie?” He spun the chair around to face us. In addition to the glasses, he wore a T-shirt with the sleeves cut off to show his bad tattoos and red plaid pajama bottoms. I had changed into jeans and a sweater for the occasion.
“Because you’re never nice to me?” I offered, crossing my arms across my stomach. I was the only one in the room standing. I might be looking down on Drake, but it didn’t feel that way.
“Maybe we just don’t understand each other.”
“I understand just fine.” Rage bubbled in my brain, wanting to lash out. “I think we just don’t like each other.”
Erin tried her best to stifle a gasp.
He set his glasses down on the desk. “But we want the same things. For the band to be successful. For Ryder to be happy.”
“You want Ryder to be happy?” The end of the sentence came out in a nervous laugh. “Could have fooled me.”
“Melanie, I am the CEO of this corporation. I want what’s best for all of us. Which means the bottom line. Sometimes that means hard decisions.”
“At least you got to make decisions.” I glared at him as he stood up and started pacing.
“Since you seem to know better than I do, I’ll let you make the decisions for a little while, Melanie.” He put special emphasis on my name. When my mother said my name like that, I knew I was in trouble. I braced myself for what was came next. “I want to talk to you about Rachel O’Leary.”
My first reaction was to say I didn’t know Rachel O’Leary, which was partially true. But I knew who he was talking about. Catelyn’s friend. The one who got bit at the party and was claiming to be a vampire.
“What about her?”
“You invited her to Tommy’s party?”
“Not exactly. They did come with me, but I told them they were on their own.”
“Then what happened?” He settled on the bed, and Erin snuggled in beside him. Something about it was just obscene, him questioning me like I was on the witness stand while they cuddled.
“I have no idea. I went back to my room and fell asleep.”
“We have a problem, Melanie. Someone turned Rachel into a vampire. That can’t happen.”
“Why? Are you threatened by some random girl?” I watched Erin’s eyes widen.
“No. Like I said, this is a business. Profit and loss.”
“What does this have to do with me, Drake?” I rolled my eyes at his boardroom explanation to this poor girl becoming undead or whatever the technical term was for it.
“You need to fix your mistake. That’s all.” His hand caressed Erin’s back. His attention went to her like I wasn’t even in the room anymore.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Fix the mistake. Do I have to spell it out for you? She’ll be in Vegas. It will give you some time to think about how to get the job done.”
My mouth almost dropped to the floor. He wanted me to kill this poor girl just because she’d tried to get closer to him.
I tried to speak several times, but the words sounded all wrong in my brain. “What if I say no?”
“Then Ryder doesn’t get his solo album. And we renegotiate his contract. If you’re going to be a gold digger, Melanie, you probably shouldn’t shit where you eat.”
My skin burned with anger. So kill Rachel or make Ryder miserable. Weren’t those fantastic choices?
“You can’t do that.” Ryder might be a vampire, but he still had free will, right? He was still a person.
“I can.” He unzipped the front of Erin’s sweatshirt to reveal her bare skin, most likely just to make me uncomfortable. Intimidate me by degrading her. “How are you going to stop me?”
I didn’t know what to do. My mind raced as I made my way back to my room.
Of course, I was going to tell Ryder what happened. It was no surprise to him that Drake was a megalomaniac asshole. But he’d be furious that Drake found out about his plans for the album. Why did Erin turn to mush around that jackass? It was like her brain cells became oatmeal. Didn’t I tell her to keep quiet about the solo album?
Not that it mattered. She just couldn’t think straight around him.
The blood. That’s what she’d blame it on. If she was honest with me. Was it really that powerful? Would I ever find out? Now that Ryder was talking about the long haul, would he be willing to share it with me?
I never wanted to act like Erin did around Drake, but it would be nice to be someone’s everything.
What about Catelyn? Should I tell her that Drake wanted me to kill Rachel? She was acting awfully calm about this. If it was Erin who was unexpectedly turned into a vampire, I’d be freaking out. Maybe she was just putting on a brave face in front of me. I didn’t know if I’d even be capable of that. If she was pulling some sort of prank, she’d get herself killed as a result. Catelyn knew too much, no matter what was going on.
And I still didn’t see how any of this was my fault.
I didn’t want to do anything to Rachel, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt Ryder. He’d been burned badly enough when it came to this band.
Maybe I should leave this whole crazy parallel universe I stepped into. But to go where? I had no home. No car. No cell phone. And only fifty dollars left of Jamie’s cash.
But I did have the police looking for me, so there was that. Three hots and a cot.
“Fuck.” Ryder leaned back against the headboard of the bed after I told him about my meeting, his arm thrashing upward almost knocking the questionably framed rendition of a pear off the wall. “I don’t have to do the album right now.”
“Come on, Ryder, you should see how your eyes light up when you talk about it. You want this bad.” I laid on the end of the bed, my body perpendicular to his, staring at the ceiling. I focused on the odd stains above. They weren’t any more disturbing than this conversation.
“I have until t
he end of time, babe. No hurry. It’s not worth sacrificing someone over.”
“How are you going to pull that off, anyway? People will catch on eventually. Unless they think you just have a great plastic surgeon.”
“God knows Drake will save thousands on keeping his face pretty.” Ryder smiled and I giggled. “I figure when it’s not believable anymore, I can disappear and come back as someone else. I don’t know if it will work or not, or if I’ll even have to worry about it. Maybe I’ll want to do something different.”
I sighed, rubbing my hands hard over my face. “I don’t know why it has to be one or the other. Why can’t you just make your album and Rachel live in undead bliss? You know, happily ever after?”
“Woman vampires are extremely powerful. There are very few, and they are creators and clan leaders. They’re not made by accident, only if a leader is needed.” Ryder sighed. “Talis is a control freak. And very easily threatened. It’s not the type of thing she’d let slide.”
“Even if Rachel just lays low? Can’t she just not be a power player?”
“I don’t think it works that way.” He frowned, not liking this anymore than I did. “Rachel’s not going to be long for this world, and you’ll definitely be the kindest to her.”
“Kill her with kindness?” I sat up and made my way to the head of the bed to snuggle into the crook of Ryder’s body.
“Something like that.” He nuzzled against my neck. It was so easy to forget the drama that swirled around us when his lips touched my skin. Little bolts of electricity sent currents to every pleasure center in my body.
It was one of those rare moments we were actually alone. Josiah had gone off to find Adam or Thomas or God knows what. In a few hours we’d be on a bus headed to Denver, leaving our privacy behind for the time being.
I ran my tongue along the line of his teeth, stopping on one of his sharp canines. I flicked and curled around it, hoping my teasing would elicit some response deep in his soul.
It worked. Ryder flipped over, quickly tensing his arms above my body, his head buried in my chest. I pulled him down so he collapsed on me, the crush of his weight making my pulse race. I traced my hands along the sides of his stomach, under his shirt, clutching his shoulders, my fingernails pushing into his skin.
I wanted the blood.
Ryder sensed this, pulling himself away from me. “Melanie,” he moaned, half with desire, half with disapproval. “Not now.”
“When?” I was just as frustrated as he was, maybe more. After all, he could have my blood. “You just asked me to kill someone for you, and I can’t have your blood? What else do I need to do?”
He let out a long breath and bowed his head against me, his hair tickling my face and neck. He didn’t say a word.
“It’s just that—” I choked up a little, and I was furious with myself for dissolving into tears at the prospect of not getting what I wanted. But this was so much more than that. And I should be stronger than this. “—you’re talking about wanting to stay with me forever and then you can’t do this. I don’t know which one you mean.”
He picked his head up, just inches away from my face, and looked into my eyes. It took a long time for one of us to blink.
“I mean everything I say to you. You have nothing to prove to me. I have to prove it to myself.” He looked away, and I pushed his face back to mine. “It changes things, Melanie. We have enough to deal with right now. And I like you just the way you are. Do you want to start acting like Erin?”
“Are you going to treat me like Drake treats her?”
“Of course not. But she’ll sell you down the river if she thinks it will get her any more of him. She’s an addict. I’ve watched her crumble. You haven’t seen it when it’s ugly, babe. Wait ‘til Polina shows up. She’ll claw Erin to pieces.”
“But I’m not Erin and you’re not Drake. I’m not Shannon, either.”
“And I’m not Jamie.” He hit below the belt, and I gasped. He cradled my cheek in his hand, his fingers touching my skin so I could barely feel it. I fought the urge to turn away from him, to push him off of me just out of spite. His lips met mine, and I hesitated before accepting.
“And I don’t want you to be.” I whispered, the last thing anyone said before we dissolved into one. Not so much in lust and desire but out of sadness and frustration.
Maybe I just wanted to spite Ryder for not giving me what I wanted. Or Drake because I couldn’t beat him. Okay, especially Drake. It had been too long since I’d seen anything outside of this bus. Miles and miles of gorgeous countryside all around this country and I’d seen nothing but the inside of Ryder’s bunk. Not that it was a bad view, but still.
Maybe I just wanted to tempt fate.
I decided to ride with Erin to Denver. The sun blinded me before she handed me a spare pair of sunglasses. Already I was turning into a sunless creature. I adjusted quickly and reclined my seat to relax and enjoy my coffee and the gently rolling grasslands of north Texas.
“Can we listen to something besides Soul Divider?” I asked Erin as we made our way out of the city and into farmlands. I needed to be able to think without the soundtrack to my latest problem assaulting my brain.
“Sure.” She popped the CD out and turned on her satellite radio. I was surprised she had it in her beat up car. “Do you have this? It’s the best thing ever if you travel a lot.”
“No. I usually listened to NPR in the car.” Because everyone else in my office did, and I was sick of feeling hopelessly left out of their conversations. Truth be told, I hated talk radio. But all my CD’s had been played one or one thousand too many times, and I didn’t have the time or the inspiration to find something new.
“How positively grown up of you.” Erin giggled. “We will be doing nothing so hipster on this drive.”
“Thank God.” I laughed. “How do you keep yourself entertained on all these long rides?”
“Look out the window! Look at that countryside! Tomorrow we hit the mountains, and wait ‘til you see that. Books on tape help, because I can’t fit too many real books in the car. When I really need to bore the shit out of myself I do phone interviews, set up shoots, that kind of stuff. I make it a rule to never eat in a chain restaurant, so I usually go check out random towns. You find some amazing stuff that way. I have a lot sent to my neighbor’s house when I see something one of a kind that I can’t live without. I just make the most of it.”
I loved that Erin knew how to make the most of everything. No wonder she could handle Drake with such ease. “Where is your house?” I was embarrassed I had to ask.
“Las Vegas.” What? The very place I may be hiding out for the rest of eternity? Too weird. And amazing. I never bothered to picture Erin anywhere other than her parents’ house. “I’ve lived there about a year and a half.”
And I didn’t know. What kind of friend was I? This was someone who slept at my house every Friday and Saturday night for years.
“What’s it like? I’ve never been.”
“That’s right. You didn’t come on my twenty-first birthday trip. You’d just gotten your job.” Erin was almost a year younger than me, so I’d graduated and entered the work world first, with no hope of vacation for at least a year. “I like it. There’s a lot to do, it’s cheap to live there, and there’s a ton of work for me out there. It’s easy to get down to LA, too. You should come visit me.”
“Ryder’s thinking about moving there when the tour is over.” I second-guessed if I should have told her this, but it was no big secret. No more secret than anything else I did these days. Drake couldn’t object to where Ryder wanted to live. And it did sound like the only place that made sense for any rock star who just happened to be a vampire.
“Oh, that would be killer!” Erin kept time to the music on the gas pedal, making my coffee slosh violently around my stomach. “Wait, are you thinking of moving in with him?”
“He asked me.” I felt warm all over thinking about it. “I don’t have anywhere el
se to be. I need to stay in the Soul Divider witness protection program.”
“Shit, Mel, this is going to be so amazing! I can’t wait to show you around, introduce you to everyone. It will be kind of like old times, but way better. We can actually get in places now.”
I could only hope it would be as carefree as our teenage sleepovers. It would be nice to have a totally fresh start after this weird limbo the tour afforded me.
“I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. I need a total transformation.”
“Well, one thing I can guarantee you. No one in Vegas watches the news. They’re all so self-involved they wouldn’t even realize if Charles Manson was next to them.”
When I stopped laughing, I asked, “Do you ever see Drake when there’s no tour?”
“Not really.” She shrugged even though she sounded a little sad. “He goes back to his family. Only when he says he needs inspiration. He tells me I’m his muse. I mean, I have my own life too. This is just a fantasy for me.”
“Really? You don’t have any expectations?” I could always count on Erin to blow my mind.
“Plenty. But I’m just having fun, living for now. I can’t do all of this forever. I take online classes when I’m home. I might write a book about all of my adventures. Names changed to protect the innocent, of course.” She smiled at me.
I couldn’t answer her right away. I so admired her zest for life. I feared it. Everyone from my mother to my guidance counselors to my bosses told me that I needed to plan for the future. As a result, I’d already been living like a senior citizen, but with less free time and a more pathetic sex drive. I was just letting the rigor mortis set in.
My attitude needed to catch up with my recent actions. Erin just figured things out as she went along. I freaked out if I didn’t always have a plan. Now here I was, with no plan, winging it.
It felt good.
We arrived in Denver feeling invigorated by our time together, away from the guys. How could we not? It was gorgeous around here, and different than anything I’d ever seen in New England. Erin spent the last leg of the trip telling me about some friends in Vegas, and I was getting excited to go there. If I didn’t dread what I had to do when I got there, I might even be giddy about it.
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