by M. A. Stone
“What in the hell is she doing with my brother?”
“She’s an art whore,” she stated matter of fact. It was my turn to choke on my water.
“What do you mean?”
“A year ago, your brother painted a bunch of amazing paintings. Her gallery held a show for him. Your brother put away some cash that allowed him to buy his house and pay off the debts on the shop. They became an item, the rest is history.” She shrugged as if it was nothing and then smiled.
“My brother? But Axel doesn’t date, at all,”I said, perplexed. She nodded. Again, as if it was nothing to her.
“Well he broke it off a while ago, but she chases him around like a bitch in heat,” she said.
“He seems like he is afraid of her. He seems like he is the one chasing her. He is not himself around her,” I explained. She nodded.
“Like you were when you were with Carl?”
“Worse. A lot worse. My brother is a faded version of himself. He is acting like she owns him,” I replied shaking my head.
“You think she has something on him?”
“You read my mind. I just hope that he does not owe her heavy duty or something and she is forcing him into a difficult situation,” I worried. She patted my hand.
“Bleu, you have looked out for him since your mom was killed. Let him handle his shit. If he got himself into it, he can surely get himself out of it,” she said. I nodded.
“You are probably right. It’s just hard to let old habits die,” I replied. She shook her head and laughed, knowing that it was virtually impossible for me to stop worrying about my brother.
“What’s going to happen with your truck?”
“I am waiting to hear from the insurance company. Right now, it’s sitting in the garage at work. There was damage done to the engine as well as the exterior. So the guys are going to fix it for me. Skeeter let me use a rental car that the shop had, so I am not without transportation. They won’t let me pay them, but I am going to have to find some way to pay them back,” I replied. She nodded.
“Yeah last summer, Lamar’s SUV got broken into and whoever broke into it, stole a bunch of sports equipment out of the back. This town is getting shady,” she replied.
“We are spoiled Abs. We grew up in this perfect little place where no one had to lock their doors and everyone watched everyone else’s kids when they were outside. We could not really expect it to stay that way forever you know?”
“One can hope my dear, one can hope,” she replied with a smile.
After dinner, Abby drove me back home. We promised to talk after the weekend, especially since I had a phone now. I waved as she drove away and then turned to find Jack sitting on my brother’s porch smoking a cigarette.
“Hey there stranger!” he called. He eyed my bags and he raised an eyebrow. I just shook my head.
“Busy night?” he asked. I nodded.
“Abby took me shopping. “ He stood up, putting his hands in his pockets. Putting the bags down, I studied his face. He looked like he had a lot on his mind.
“What’s up?”
“I am sorry about at the lake. I should not have taken advantage of you Bleu. You are just getting out of a relationship. You barely know me.” He fiddled with his keys and looked down at the ground and then back up at me.
“Jack. I am a big girl. I can make my own decisions. I just don’t want to make any more mistakes, not that I would consider you a mistake.” He moved closer to me. My breath caught in my chest. Breathe dammit.
“I still want to kiss you,” he whispered, coming even closer and tangling his hands in my hair as his lips touched mine. Holy shit! I felt this incredible rushing shock swell over me. Heat, fire, electricity coursed through my body and it was all from one simple kiss. I could not breathe and honestly I did not want to. Putting my hand on his chest, I ended the kiss. He gave me a puzzled look, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He felt it too.
“Did I do something wrong?” His voice was soft and he sounded like he was in pain.
“No. The thing is I just met you. I mean, I hear what a great guy you are and believe me you get bonus points for being there for me when my own family was not. And you make me want to kiss you until I cannot breathe, but I don’t want to rush into something and have it blow up in my face. This town is not that big! Also, I have the bad habit of overthinking things.”
He grinned and I had to hold myself back from kissing him.
“You want to kiss me?” he asked with a laugh.
“Out of all that I just said, that was what you got out of it?” He nodded and I nudged him playfully with my elbow.
“So any chance that you will try on what you bought?” he asked with a mischievous grin. I elbowed his side and laughed.
“Not that its anything dirty, but no, not a chance,” I said. How in the hell was I going to be able to put the brakes on this. I knew I was not ready yet. But good lord he made me feel all warm inside. And he made me wish I had some dirty things in the bags, just so that I could try them on for him.
Chapter Five
The door opened and I jumped, not realizing that I had fallen asleep on the couch reading. I teetered on the edge of the couch and then slid not so gracefully to the floor with a THUD. I looked up at the clock and saw that it was after one .Axel stumbled in. He looked like hell. His hair was flattened, his red t shirt torn and his jeans were dirty. He noticed me after a few minutes and came over to the chair next to the couch.
“Hey,” he said softly. He smelled like a distillery. Sitting up, I looked at him. His eyes were blood shot and there were dark circles under them. Christ.
“What happened to you?” I asked, kneeling down in front of him and putting my hand on his knee. He jumped like I had electrocuted him. He jumped up out of the chair and began to pace in front of the television.
“As you can probably tell, I am having a rough night. Uh….were you waiting up for me?” he asked after a bit, his voice sounded shaky. He was talking fast, like he did when he was nervous. And he was tugging on that damn lip ring.
“Yes. We have a lot to talk about Axel,” I replied, trying not to have my voice rise. He looked at me and frowned.
“Is it about the other day? Is that what you are going to get on my case about?”
“Hell yes I am!” His face clouded with anger.
“You have been here for a minute and you think you can go all parental on me? What the fuck Bleu?!” he yelled, his pale skin getting red. Zero to piss off in no time. Awesome.
“It does not matter how long I have been here. I came here to be with you. I trust you more than anyone on this earth and I had someone I barely knew help me. You were too damn busy following Blow Job Barbie around like a wounded puppy! People who barely know me, they were there for me when you were too busy kissing her ass!! You stood there and let her talk shit about me like you and I were strangers!”
“You don’t know what you are talking about Bleu,” he muttered, refusing to make eye contact with me. This only made me angrier.
“You are my brother, my family. I protected your ass when the shit went down with Mom. I am not calling you on it, but I have been looking after your ass since we were ten. Beau didn’t do it, hell no one has seen him for years! You tell me that I don’t understand that I need to stay out of it. I fucking refuse!! I am your family, not some punk off of the street. I want to know what the hell kind of hold that bitch has on you,” I yelled. He looked at me like I had slapped him. Bringing Mom up was something I never did.
“You want to talk about honest? How about you LYING to me about why you were coming down here huh? Not telling me that you were in jail? How about that??!!”
“I did it to protect you! So you would not be in a cell next to me for finishing the beating I started on Carl!”
“I am not a baby Bleu. I am not your pet project! Stop trying to fix me! Stay out of it if you know what’s good for you,” he snapped at me before he walked out of the room and stomped
upstairs. I flinched as his bedroom door slammed. Who the hell was this person? I refused to deal with this. After all the shit I have continuously done, for him. I grabbed my phone, my new messenger bag and slid into my flip flops. Looking over my shoulder at the stairs, I grabbed my keys and slammed out the door. I held my breath and waited for him to come out on the porch, to say something, but he didn’t. That was not my brother. I did not know that person in his place.
After driving to Aunt Almeida’s house, I remembered that she was working third shift and I did not want to wake the kids and scare the hell out of them. I really had nowhere to go. The shop loomed ahead and I did not even remember pointing the rental car Skeeter had loaned me, in that direction. I turned off the car and sat there in the dark. I looked down and realized that I had the key to the shop on my key ring. Shutting the door softly, I padded to the shop door and unlocked it. The moonlight and the street lights made it so I did not have to turn on any lights. Putting my bag onto the floor near the couch, I sat on the couch and played with my phone for a bit. Although it was almost one thirty in the morning, I was too keyed up to sleep. Leaning back against the couch, I willed myself not to cry. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I always ready to cry? Rubbing my eyes, I stopped suddenly as I heard a noise. My mind started getting ahead of itself and every dark scenario played in my head. Trying to make myself hidden, I curled into a ball, clutching my keys to my chest.
“Bleu?” called a male voice. Jumping, I screamed and flew off the couch, in a move eerily similar to the Crane from Karate Kid. Soft male laughter greeted me. Looking up, I saw that it was Jack. Jack in jeans and nothing else. Jack’s bare, muscled chest. MY heart pounded and my face burned in embarrassment. I felt like an idiot.
“Bleu?” he said again, looking confused and trying really hard not to laugh anymore.
“What...what are you doing here?” I whispered, smoothing my hair and trying to recover my sanity. My heart was ready to jump out of my chest and I could not stop staring at his naked chest.
“Well I could ask the same of you couldn’t I, Daniel san??” he remarked with a snort. I shook my head and laughed.
“I feel like an idiot! I am so sorry!”
“It’s fine. Remind me to never sneak up on you....you might break out your sick karate moves. And to answer your question, I live here for now,” he said, still chuckling.
“Shut up, you startled me,” I retorted. He grinned.
“There is an apartment above the shop. I live there until I can find another place,” he said, noticing my confusion. I nodded after a second.
“Why don’t we go up there instead of sitting here? I can guarantee to you that my couches are ten times more comfortable than these ones are,” he said. I nodded and followed him out of the shop. We went to a door that I had not noticed before, in between the shop and the garage. We walked up a flight of stairs and into his apartment. It was bigger than I expected. The kitchen was spacious with an island that sported the same granite as the desk downstairs. The backsplash behind the sink and stove were brick and the cabinets with clear. The living room had two black overstuffed couches and a big flat screen TV hanging on the wall. Under it was a bookcase filled with all kinds of books. Off to the right of the TV was a door to his bedroom, I am guessing. The other door was open and I could see part of the bathroom. He led me to one of the couches. Putting my purse on the floor, I tossed my keys inside.
“What happened?” he asked, sitting down next to me. I sighed.
“Axel and I got into a fight. I waited up for him; I wanted to talk to him about what has been going on. When he came home, I lit into him. I did not mean to go all parental on him, but his attitude was so mean. It just pissed me off, especially after what happened the other day. I asked him about Barbie and accused him of turning his back on me. He told me to stay out of it when I asked him what was going on. He has been shutting me out. Things got pretty nuclear and it did not end well. So I left,” I replied.
“That does not sound like him. Something must be seriously wrong,” he said more to himself than me.
“I went too far though. I brought up our mom,” I said. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
“I keep forgetting that you had not moved here yet,” I murmured more to myself than to him.
“Yeah Mom and Dad were shuttling me and my bro back and forth until we were 14 and then I decided to stay here. Why? What’s the big secret?” he asked.
“Well, when we were ten, our mom was brutally murdered while we were at school. My parents were split up at the time, but Dad was supposed to move back in that weekend. His alibi was shoddy because he was drinking a lot at the time and things did not add up. My older brother was away at a basketball tournament. The judge remembered my dad from some previous shit he did and he was extremely prejudice and seemed to side with the district attorney. My dad ended up going to jail, sentenced 25 years to life. He swore he was innocent the whole time. As soon as my older brother could, he left. We have not talked to him in over ten years. When it all happened, I did everything I could to protect Axel.”
“Wow. I had no clue. Well who raised you guys?"
"My Aunt Almeida and Uncle Tangler took over after my Dad went to prison. He turned over his tattoo shop to a silent partner and started teaching at the high school to help my aunt out. It did not help she kept popping out babies," I said with a smirk. He laughed
“Do you talk to your dad?”
“I do. Axel stopped going once he started working at the shop. Don’t know why, but I can’t force him to. He’s an adult,” I remarked sarcastically. He sure was not acting like one right now though. Jack patted my hand and there was that electric shock feeling again. He sat there, shirtless, in jeans. I was distracted to say the least.
“You alright?” he asked. I must have been staring. I nodded and looked up at him; I hoped he did not notice my blatant ogling.
“I guess. I am just so mad at my brother right now! He told me that I lied to him, but he has been doing this cloak and dagger shit with me. I don’t know. He is usually such a gossipy bitch. I used to have a hard time getting him to shut up. But now he is nothing but secretive, quiet. I don’t like it one bit!”
“Is there anything I can do for you tonight? I can’t make Axel talk to you. I wish I could. But anything else?” he asked, so much sincerity in his voice.
“Um...Could you please put on a shirt?” I said finally. He laughed.
“Oh I forgot I am sexy as hell!” He ran his fingers over his chest and I glared at him.
“Knock it off Jack. It’s not funny,” I said. He grinned devilishly, grabbed my head and planted a quick kiss on my lips. This time he pulled away.
“Bleu, I am so sorry,” he whispered as I touched my lips with my fingers. Holy moly.
“What?”
“You lectured me earlier about kissing you, not jumping into things and all that. And here I go, kissing you. What the hell is going on?”
“I blame you really. You are sitting here without a shirt on,” I said with a laugh. I touched the side of his face and looked deep into his chocolate brown eyes. I was a sucker for his eyes.
“I honestly am just not ready. I am not sure if I ever will be around you. You make me feel things, things I am afraid to feel and at such an intensity. You leave me breathless,” I whispered. He nodded.
“I am not one of those guys who are all soft and romantic and shit. But whenever I am near you, I just want to kiss you. I feel what you are feeling. You are not the only one who has been burned Bleu. But I am not afraid to try.”
“We are going to have to talk about this sooner or later but right now is not the time,”I said.
“Well I think that this conversation can be put off until morning,” he replied with a yawn. Nodding, I yawn as well.
“You can have my bed and I will crash here on the couch,” he said. He switched off the kitchen light, locked the front door and walked i
nto the living room.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Let me just grab some blankets and a pillow and the bed is all yours,” he said. I stood behind him as he opened a closet door and removed a blanket. He placed the stuff on the couch and motioned for me to enter the room. His bed was a queen size, with a big fluffy green comforter on it and about a gazillion pillows. Next to the bed sat a dark cherry nightstand with a small silver lamp on it. The lamp was on next to the bed and it filled the room with a soft glow. To the right of the door was a long dresser, also dark cherry, with a mirror on the wall behind it.
“Are you sure about this? I mean I have no problem with sleeping on the couch, really,” I said.
“What kind of gentleman would I be if I made you sleep on the couch?” he said softly.
“Ok I am not going to stand here and fight with you. It’s been a long night and I am super tired,” I replied. He grabbed another blanket out of the closet and two pillows off of the bed. I sat down on the bed and smiled at him.
“Good night Bleu. I hope you sleep well,” he said. He bent down and kissed my cheek. He straightened up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. As I ran my hands over the soft micro suede comforter on the bed, I had a brief thought of him in here with me, naked, doing dirty things. I shook my head and told myself to knock it off. I pulled back the comforter, laid down and turned off the light. He never did put that shirt on, the bastard.
Sleep was not happening. The clock moved slowly. Looking at it, I saw it was almost 3 am. Tossing and turning, I kept thinking about my brother and the fight that we had earlier. Every time I stopped thinking about him, I thought of my brief kiss with Jack. Or I thought of Jack shirtless. That untouched area between my legs throbbed at the thought and I willed the desire I was feeling to go away. I did not need to do anything stupid right now. A shower, that’s what I needed to calm my nerves and maybe make me relaxed so that I could finally get some sleep. Opening the door silently, I peeked out of the room. Jack was slept peacefully on the couch; one leg peeked out of the blankets. On my trek to the bathroom, I tiptoed and then held my breath as I opened the door. Turning on the light, I shut the door quietly. In less than a minute I was naked. Turning on the water, I turned the water temperature to hot and held my hand under the stream of water, waiting for it to heat up. I tied up my hair in a messy ponytail, slid the clear shower curtain to the side and I climbed in. Biting my lip to keep from yelping, I stood to the side until I could get used to the temperature of the water. Letting the shower hit my skin, I closed my eyes. The awkward kiss played in my head over and over again, like a movie preview. My eyes snapped open and I tried to reason with my conscience.