by Lisa Kessler
There was the dimple. “Yes.”
I crossed the elevator, closing the distance between us. She brought her hand up and touched my chest as I bent to kiss her. I kept my weight off of her, my hands pressed against the wall on either side of her head. She massaged across my shoulders, searching out all the stress in my muscles. Her touch tempted me to hit the stop button on the elevator.
The doors opened behind us. Too late.
Taking her hand, we walked into Jason’s office. The doctor frowned as we approached. “What is he doing here?”
Nadya jumped in before I got a chance. “Gareth is my mate. He knows what we’re doing.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “I thought we agreed no one else would know.”
“That was before I found my mate.” Nadya stood firm and I smiled.
“This is a bad idea.” Jason glared at me.
I raised a brow, daring him to make a move. “Not as bad as allowing a scientist from Nero to inject her with something.”
Jason stepped up closer, chest out, hands fisted. “I’m trying to save her.”
I let go of Nadya’s hand and gave the doctor a nudge out of my face. “Bringing in the enemy isn’t the way to do it.”
“So are you a doctor now?”
Nadya moved between us. “Stop it. This is hard enough without getting slammed by all your anger and fear. Jason, I brought Gareth because I want him here, and Gareth, I trust Jason. He’s doing the best he can to help me.”
I walked to the window, fighting the urge to knock the smirk off Jason’s face. Another set of footsteps caught my attention. I turned to find an older guy wearing a doctor’s smock. He had gray hair, light eyes, and an aura of superiority.
“Is anyone going to introduce me to our guest?” He held out his hand, exposing a tattoo on the inside of his wrist. The lion’s head with an “N” in the center. The same tattoo Nadya’s sister had on the inside of her wrist.
Nero.
…
From the Journal of Dr. M. Granger – Journal Entry 532
The new formulation of the serum is complete. By my calculations, the subject will rest peacefully for four to six hours while her body metabolizes the higher dosage. The blood samples collected after her most recent injection reveal the increased adrenaline levels we experienced during Operation Moonlight, but she has still resisted the shift. I am unaware if this is due to her body metabolizing the serum too quickly, or if her brain functions are more tolerant of the formula than the werewolf subjects had been due to her psychic abilities.
In order to study her further, I will encourage the subject to remain under my care so that I can monitor the progression. The data we compile here could change everything.
There is a risk. After our first injection, Wyatt Ayers, a subject from our original test group, recognized me. I am not certain how long I will be able to remain hidden from the Pack. I will escalate testing as necessary in order to gain the data we need before I’m forced out.
Chapter Nineteen
Nadya
“Is anyone going to introduce me to our guest?”
The werewolf aggression coming from Gareth and Jason filled the room, suffocating me. I did my best to shield myself from their emotions and turned around. “Hi, Dr. Granger. This is my…”
Gareth met my eyes and for a second I wished I could read minds. Obviously, Dr. Granger had worked with werewolves before, but only males. Did he know they had mates? Would it matter?
He saved me from making that call. Crossing the room, he slid his arm around my waist, his hand resting on my hip. “I’m her boyfriend.”
Dr. Granger cocked his brow, his gaze flicking toward Jason. “Oh, I assumed Dr. Ayers…” He cleared his throat and wisely dropped the subject. Holding out his hand he asked, “Your name was?”
“I’m Gareth.”
He made no move to shake Dr. Granger’s extended hand. The doctor reached up for a pen from his pocket instead, his attention shifting toward me. “He understands the importance of keeping our treatments secret? My employer has been kind to allow me the time to assist in this situation, but with your Pack nearby, I’m also risking my own personal safety on behalf of Ms. Dalca.”
“Your employer is the reason Nadya is here in the first place, so spare me your self-righteous bullshit.” The doctor flinched as if Gareth’s words had reached out and smacked him. “You’re not making any sacrifices on Nadya’s behalf. Getting the chance to study someone who survived being bitten by one of your juiced-up freaks is every Nero lab tech’s wet dream.”
I almost laughed. However, Jason and Dr. Granger didn’t seem nearly as amused by Gareth’s comments.
“Back off, Gareth.” Jason took the blood pressure cuff off the wall and I sat down on the exam table. “If I had a better way to get her the appropriate treatment, believe me, I’d take it.”
I hardly noticed the cuff squeezing my arm. All my attention was focused on Dr. Granger. Doctors were always tough for me to read. They had a well-practiced calm that often shielded their true feelings, but Gareth’s verbal jabs had flustered him. For a moment, a flash of fear shot off Dr. Granger. He jotted notes on his tablet while Jason called out numbers, avoiding any chance of eye contact with me or Gareth.
What if Gareth was right? Could the doctor be pushing more poison in my veins, hoping I’d live longer than his soldiers did? Sounded like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. He was probably just afraid of my big boyfriend.
“Your temp is slightly elevated, but werewolves run a little hot sometimes, anyway. The rest of your vitals are within the normal range.” He rolled his stool over and sat down in front of me. “Any nose bleeds or shifting episodes we should know about?”
Gareth’s stare was heavy on my shoulders. If I didn’t tell them, he would.
“My hands started shifting again last night.” I circled my fingers at the top of my head like an invisible laurel wreath. “It felt like something was crushing my skull all the way around until I collapsed.”
Jason looked over his shoulder at Gareth. “You didn’t call me? She could have died.”
“She asked me not to call.” Gareth’s shoulders tensed. “We were coming in today anyway.” His gaze met mine for a moment. Again I caught myself wishing I could read minds. He broke contact with me, focusing on Jason. “We stopped the shift. She felt better.”
“You stopped it?” A crease marred Jason’s brow. “How exactly did you do that?”
I held my breath. Gareth’s native chant had reached into my soul, calling to the wolf, healing her. Magic that Jason wouldn’t believe any more than he believed in finding your one true mate.
Gareth shrugged. “We cooled her off with ice packs and the pain eased up.”
“Perhaps you should allow the shift to come.”
We all turned toward Dr. Granger.
Jason got up from his stool. “You can’t be serious.”
“On the contrary, I think it’s reasonable to postulate that the pain is related to her resistance to the shifting of her body. We won’t know unless she allows the change to happen.”
“You’re insane.” Gareth’s anger and fear flooded the tiny exam room. He blocked my view of the doctor, putting himself between me and Dr. Granger. “Jason and I were there that night, when your creature bit her. We watched his head change. That wasn’t a beautiful wolf. You made him into a monster. Every shift cost him and his mind paid the price. Not that anyone at Nero gave a shit.”
“He was no longer in our care. Maybe we could have helped him like we’re doing for Ms. Dalca.”
“He was useless to you. You knew if you juiced him up anymore, he’d die just like the others did.”
Dr. Granger peered around Gareth’s broad torso. “Ms. Dalca, did the last injection make you ill in any way?”
“No, but…”
“Were you able to sleep?”
“Yes, but…”
He nodded. “Then the serum is working. This is not a cure,
it’s a treatment. Nothing is going to stop the new genetic makeup in your DNA, Ms. Dalca.”
Gareth turned toward Jason. “So, what’s the point? Why put her through this?”
Jason answered, but all his attention was on me. “Because if we can manage the mutated DNA, maybe we can keep her with us.”
Maybe I wouldn’t die. Close enough for me.
Dr. Granger moved around Gareth and pressed a cool alcohol swab to the muscle in my shoulder. “I believe we’re getting closer to a formulation that would allow Ms. Dalca to avoid the hemorrhages we documented within the Lycan Squad.”
He jabbed the needle into my arm before Gareth could respond, pushing the plunger down and withdrawing the tip in one smooth movement. Dabbing the injection site with another alcohol pad, he nearly smiled. “Let me know if there are any new side effects, and consider what I suggested about allowing yourself to change.”
Fonthill’s misshapen wolf face with the body of a man flashed though my head. Yeah, there was no way I would welcome that.
Dr. Granger turned to Jason. “I need to see her again in three days. We can check her vitals and I’ll have another dose of the serum ready.”
“Is that really necessary?” Gareth stared at one doctor, and then the other. “Far as I can tell, neither one of you know if these shots are even helping her.”
Dr. Granger tightened his grip on the chart and his bedside manner slipped, allowing a bit of anger and frustration to escape. “I already explained, the fact she is alive at all, is proof it’s working. The mutated DNA should have killed her, but she survived. Our Lycan Squad test subjects were strong young werewolves and, in the end, their bodies couldn’t withstand the enhancements. Seeing that Ms. Dalca is still with us tells me the serum is helping her adjust.”
Jason pinned Gareth with a look and turned slowly toward Dr. Granger. “If you make any adjustments to the formula, I expect to see the chemical breakdown before her next visit.”
Dr. Granger nodded. “I’ll email everything.” He glanced at Gareth. “I can’t say it’s been a pleasure.” He reached for the door while he met my eyes. “Rest, Ms. Dalca. I think you’ll see a big change in the next few days.”
He left the room, but his words lingered.
Jason took a seat on his stool again, my medical chart on his lap. “I wish I had a better recommendation, but rest is probably best.”
I nodded, my gaze shifting toward Gareth. He stared at the door as it closed behind Dr. Granger, his muscles pulling at the thin material of his T-shirt, ready to take action at any sign of a threat.
But he’d never be able to protect me from the invisible enemy inside my bloodstream. I wasn’t going to fade away without a fight. With every last second I had, I intended to live fully with my mate, and before I left this earth, I wanted to love him and feel his love in return. Real love.
The mate bond between us was strong, passionate and instinctual, but if I had to leave him behind in the end, I didn’t want Gareth to second-guess my true feelings. He came back to me the other night, knowing he’d be hurt in the end. Alone again.
And I wanted to protect him from that.
I met Jason’s eyes. “I’ll do whatever I have to if it’ll give me more time.”
He got up, chart in hand. “Keep me posted if you have another episode. If we can fine-tune the serum, we might be able to beat this thing.”
Gareth caressed my back, easing tension I didn’t realize had built up. “I’m all for that.”
My eyes met his, and a rare wave of hope brushed my skin. Hope from Gareth. My chest tightened. If there was a way to survive this, I was going to find it.
Chapter Twenty
Gareth
Although we’d planned to head up to Virginia City after the appointment with Jason, by the time we rolled into Nadya’s condo, she was already lethargic. I helped her inside, doing my best to keep a lid on the panic brewing in my gut.
“I’ll be fine,” she mumbled. “Let me grab some clean clothes and my toothbrush for the trip.”
I shook my head, lowering her to the bed. “You gotta sleep when you can. If you’re tired now, just rest. We can ride up the mountain in the morning.”
She stared up at me. “Will you stay with me?”
I ran the back of my fingers down her cheek. Even exhausted she was so beautiful I could hardly breathe. “No place I’d rather be.”
“Good.” A relieved smile curved her lips as her eyes drifted closed.
I sat on the other side of the bed and unlaced my boots. Pulling them off, I watched her chest slowly rise and fall. Moments like this, when the world was quiet, that goddamned clock ticked so loud I couldn’t drown it out. The damned thing marked her every breath, the beat of her heart, until there was no escaping, no forgetting she was slipping through my fingers. I got up and pulled my hair back from my face. The urge to run pulsed inside me like a drug, tempting me to walk away, to escape the pain to come. If I didn’t see her die, she could live forever as a bright memory.
Instead of being haunted by her final breath, I’d remember making love to her on the Harley.
At the door to her bedroom, I glanced back. She looked peaceful, sleeping. Maybe the doctor was right and the serum was working. Maybe she’d be able to withstand the mutated DNA with the help of drugs.
Damn it. I couldn’t sit here counting each breath or I’d drive myself batshit crazy.
I needed to talk to someone.
Now that was something I never thought I’d say. If I wasn’t so fucking terrified I might’ve found it funny.
I pulled out my cell phone and stared at the touchscreen. Who would I call? Not Adam. I couldn’t risk letting it slip that a scientist from Nero was helping Nadya. Aren was on his honeymoon with Sasha. I sure as hell wasn’t going to call Jason.
Flipping around my contacts, I stopped on Chloe. It’d be some kind of miracle if I called her while her cell phone was actually on. I glanced through the door at Nadya and back at my phone. At this point, it was worth a try.
I pressed call. The phone rang. Unbelievable.
“Little Osa?”
I closed my eyes. “You had your phone on.”
“You needed me.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I leaned back against the couch.
“Do you forget my stories, or just refuse to believe them?”
I let out a half-hearted chuckle. “I remember them.”
“Then you know our spirits are connected. Your mother asked me to watch over you and I will until I follow her up to the stars.” She paused. “What’s bothering you?”
“I’m trying to take your advice, to open up and let her in…” My voice cracked with emotion, surprising me for a second. “I’m not strong enough. She deserves so much better than me.”
“You are with her.” As impossible as it seemed, I could hear her smiling.
“I am.” I nodded. “And I promised her I’d stay until the end.” Clearing my throat, I clutched the phone tighter. “She’s amazing, everything I’m not. She makes me smile, laugh. I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way. When I’m with her…” I struggled for words, my fingers tight on the bridge of my nose like I could pinch off the emotions. “I’m so damned scared. And I could love her, I know I could, and to lose her… I thought being without her was worse, but now I’m here and…”
I couldn’t finish.
She took a deep breath on the other end of the line. “I wish I had a story to give you the answers you seek, but I don’t.”
“Then make me stronger.” The honesty in my words shocked me. There was no way she could give me what I asked for, but it was exactly what I wanted.
“You have a deep well of courage and strength, Osa. Stop running and drink from it. Your life has prepared you for this path.”
“I never asked for this path. What in the hell did I ever do to deserve this? What did she do? You call the creator wise; I call him a heartless bastard.”
Chloe hissed
at my outburst. “We cannot understand the reasons, but that does not mean they do not exist. Stop thinking about yourself, and think about her. Put her needs first in your heart. You want to be stronger? Then stop worrying about how much pain you will face when she dies, and start thinking about her and how you can make her life better. This isn’t an easy task, but you must embrace the time you have.”
“I’m trying.” I punched my frustration into the sofa cushion. “She should have a partner as fearless as she is.”
“Pshhhh.” In my mind, I saw her dismissive wave in my direction. “You are a strong man. A good man. Stubborn as a mule, but worthy, Osa. Worthy. Fear makes you human.” Her voice softened. “I love you. I will send up prayers for your woman.”
“I love you, too. Thanks.”
I slid my phone back in my pocket, mulling over the conversation. Stop thinking about the future. Focus on the present. Sounded great on paper, but sitting here, alone, watching Nadya breathe made it tough to avoid hearing the clock ticking her life away.
After checking the locks on the doors, I went back into the bedroom and lay down beside her. She rolled over, snuggling in close to my chest. I kissed her hair, breathing her scent into my lungs. Put her first. She wanted to ride up to Virginia City in the morning. I needed to rest so I could get us there in one piece.
I closed my eyes, holding her close. Live in the present. Don’t think about the future.
…
Nadya flinched, her body tight against me. Holding her close, I realized we were beside the Stone Mother. I scanned the area for my Harley, but the bike wasn’t around. The rising sun tipped me off. This was a dream. Her dream.
“It’s happening,” she gasped.
Her jaw clenched, her features tight with pain. I reached for her hand but she recoiled from my touch.
“No. I’m a monster.”
I shook my head. “You’re no monster.”
“Look again.” She raised her hand, her fingers lengthening, her joints popping as the flesh darkened with fine hair. “I can’t stop it.”
“You can.” The wolf chant started soft and grew from my lips as I opened my arms to her. She allowed me to embrace her. My song called to her wolf. Its spirit was strong, and confused to find itself stirring without the moon overhead. Had the rest of the wolves Nero “enhanced” experienced the same sensation?