by Lisa Kessler
“You should have Jason take a look and be sure your ribs are where they’re supposed to be.”
“He’ll just want me to come in for X-rays and wrap me up again. I’ve got that taken care of already. I’m not wasting any of the time we have left sitting in the doctor’s office.”
I didn’t fight him on it. He was right. Last night made it crystal clear that my body couldn’t take much more. I had no clue how Gareth had brought me back, but judging by the new streak in his hair, it came at a price.
I ran my index finger down from the bottom of his ace bandage, around his naval, to the button on his jeans. “So what else did you want to do today?”
He lifted my wandering hand to his lips, kissing my finger with passion in his eyes. “If my ribs didn’t hurt so bad, I’d never let you out of this bed.” Lowering my hand he started to smile. “If you’re feeling up to it, I thought I’d show you how to ride a Harley on your own before Jason gets here.”
“Jason’s coming here? You said you didn’t want to call…”
“I don’t, but he was planning on coming by later this afternoon anyway. Tonight’s the full moon.”
He paused like I should understand what he was talking about. I frowned. “Okay?”
Gareth sighed, rubbing the back of my hand with the pad of his thumb. “You shifted last night and I almost lost you.”
“Jason doesn’t want me to run with you tonight.” It made sense. But it didn’t make it feel any better.
“He thinks you’ll be safer if you stay inside. He’ll give you a sedative so you won’t shift.”
I pulled my hand back into my lap. “Do I get a say in any of this?” His anxiety prickled along my skin, but I went on anyway. “I don’t want to die, but it’s coming whether we want it to or not.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose like he could rub the ache in his head away and got up from the bed. “Nadya, one more day isn’t enough.” He lifted his gaze, and the pain in his beaten features twisted my heart in a knot. “Fifty years wouldn’t be enough time to love you. Please. Just rest tonight.”
I stood up, grabbed one of his folded work T-shirts off the dresser, and pulled it on. It fell to the middle of my thighs, covering me just enough that I could concentrate. When I turned around, his gaze ran slowly up from my ankles to the top of my head, and I realized I probably still didn’t have enough clothes on. I pushed desire aside and tried to focus.
“I got bitten and instantly lost control over my future.”
He shook his head, one hand fisting in the blanket. “If I could turn back time, I would.”
“So would I, but we can’t.” I blinked to keep the tears in check. “The only thing I can control is how I’ll go out, and after we visited with Wyatt and Sarah yesterday, I know what I want.”
He stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “I thought you said you don’t want to be in a coma trapped on a bed.”
“No.” I crossed over to sit on the edge of the mattress and rested my hand on his thigh. “Tonight is the full moon. You’ll be a wolf. We don’t know if I’ll live to see the next one, so this is my only chance to be your true mate.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Let your wolf bite me tonight.”
“You are my mate, Nadya.” He pressed his lips together, his emotions spilling over to me although he fought to keep them back. “You don’t need a bite or a scar on your hand to make it any more real or true. I’d rather have more time together.” He covered my hand on his leg.
“Please don’t fight me on this.” A tear rolled down my cheek and my determination wavered. I wanted more time with him, too. I cleared my throat and whispered, “I don’t want to leave this world as the monster Fonthill made me. Tonight you can convert me and my wolf into a true werewolf—like you are and your father was before you.”
He pulled me close, groaning in pain as he kissed my hair, but in spite of his sore ribs, he didn’t loosen his hold on me. “If I do this for you, if you shift tonight, I’ll lose you, sweetheart.”
His words weighed on my shoulders, the truth of them threatening to sway me. God, I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want to die. None of this was what I would wish for. Ever.
But it was coming either way. I had no choices, no decisions in this matter except one. I steeled my broken heart and I pulled back to meet his eyes. “You can’t save me. No one can. All I’m asking is that you give me the chance to leave this world on my own terms.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Gareth
I got up from the bed, pacing the room. “This is so fucking unfair.”
I knocked the clean work shirts and alarm clock off my dresser, ripping the cord from the wall as it tumbled to the ground. Anger was my armor. And I needed every bit I could muster. Staring into her green eyes, it was clear her decision was made, and who was I to deny her?
Nero had taken her life. She wanted to control her death.
But holy shit I could not help her die. No way. No fucking way in hell.
I turned to tell her so and found her standing up. My old oil stained white T-shirt had never looked so good. My gut clenched. Tomorrow she could be gone. Bitterness choked me.
“This is what I’ve been thinking…”
The knife in my chest twisted. “You’ve been planning this?”
“Not really, but last night when I was fading, I went to Pyramid Lake.”
“That’s where I found you in the dream.”
She nodded, crossing her arms. “I thought we should go there tonight while the rest of the Pack is up at Lake Tahoe. I don’t want all of their emotions involved in this, just you and me.”
I choked down a concrete ball of emotion to find my voice. “We go to Pyramid Lake, I shift and bite you.” I cleared my throat. “Even if I agreed to this, how would we keep you from shifting before my wolf can get to you? This is crazy. We could have more time if you sleep—”
“The Stone Mother’s basket.”
“What?”
“I’ll climb in the Stone Mother’s basket while you shift.”
The Stone Mother’s basket was open on one side, like a big cave. “Climbing in there and hiding from the moon is not going to stop you from shifting.”
“Lana told me that when Sasha kidnapped her and took her up to Lake Tahoe during the full moon, Adam resisted the moon’s pull to search for her. He held off his shift for at least an hour.”
“Adam also wasn’t juiced up by Nero with mutated DNA that makes shifting in broad daylight possible.” I crossed to her, cupping her face in my hands. “What if you can’t hold off the wolf? What if I shift and your body gives out? By the time I get there, you could already be…”
I couldn’t finish the words.
Her eyes stayed locked on mine. “Then I still went out on my terms.”
Somewhere deep in the pit of panic, fear, anger, and despair brewing inside me, a surge of love and admiration swelled. My mate was fearless, courageous, and stubborn. Perfect. I bent to kiss her lips, struggling to memorize every touch.
I pulled back, holding her gaze. “If this is what you really want, I’ll do it for you.”
She nodded. “There’s something else I want.” She rose up on her toes, her lips meeting mine and a dam broke inside of me. I didn’t care about my ribs, or worry about flooding her with my feelings. My love, my pain, my anger, and my need to keep her close weren’t secrets. Not between us.
I backed her toward the bed, sliding my hands under the shirt to caress her warm curves. She popped open the button on my jeans and lowered the zipper. As she pushed my jeans lower, she teased my skin with her nails.
Breaking the kiss she whispered, “Lie down.”
I settled onto the mattress, careful not to move too fast and tweak my ribs. Nadya tugged the bottom of my jeans until they came free of my legs. She dropped them on the ground and crawled over me. I moved my hands up her firm thighs, over the curve of her ass, and up her waist underneath the loose shirt. I cupped her breast
s, teasing the hard tips of her nipples.
Her moans sent my blood pumping. Good thing she had my pants off or I would’ve busted the damned zipper I wanted her so bad. She bent her arms, kissing me slowly, sliding her tongue against mine, the same way I needed to slide into her body.
I brought one hand along her taut abdomen, my fingers gliding lower, between her folds, until her hips worked into me. I rubbed faster, watching her face, drinking in the passion.
“Take off the damned shirt,” I growled. I needed to see her. All of her. Now.
She rose up onto her knees over me while I slid my finger inside of her. She gasped, rocking into me as she lifted the shirt over her head and tossed it across the room. Her body shuddered and her breath caught as she came against my fingers.
She took my wrist and brought my hand up to her lips. “I need you.”
She guided the wet tip of my finger around her mouth, tracing her lower lip as she tilted her hips over me until my erection brushed her opening. My finger slid into her mouth, and at the same time, she settled over me. I sank into her completely, losing myself in our passion.
“You’re incredible.” I growled. “Open your eyes.” She did as I asked and stared down at me. “You’re mine. No regrets.”
I gripped her hips with my hands, but I couldn’t thrust up into her like I wanted to without hurting my ribs. Holding her tighter, I guided her, sliding her along my erection faster. She took the rhythm and drove me over the edge.
“Slower. I don’t want it to be over yet.”
She leaned over me, resting on her elbows to keep her weight off my chest as our lips met. Her steady thrusts drew me almost out before taking me back in completely. “No regrets,” she whispered.
I slid one hand between us, teasing her until her hips writhed into me of their own volition. Her teeth brushed my lips as she gasped, gaze locked on mine. “I thought you didn’t want…it…to be over…yet.”
“Plan’s changed.” I smiled, growling in the back of my throat. “Come for me.”
Her laughter mixed with her moans, creating a sound of pure unfiltered joy and love. My pulse raced and I pulled her to me, claiming her lips as I erupted deep inside of her. I was so lost in her, I didn’t even notice my damned ribs.
…
Nadya dozed in my arms. I stroked her hair back from her forehead, trying to memorize every beautiful inch of my mate. If I had the power, I’d freeze time and just stay in this moment, basking in the afterglow and keeping her safe. In a few hours the moon would be full and…
I didn’t want to think about it. Chloe was right. Nadya’s wishes had to come first. I even understood Nadya’s reasoning, but that didn’t mean I had to like it.
She shifted and her lashes fluttered. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Just for a minute.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Every minute counts.”
Huge understatement.
“Feel up to a ride before we tell your sister and Jason that you’re awake?”
She grinned. “I’d love it.”
We got dressed and I went into the storage area of my workshop. I pulled a drop cloth off the old 1977 Low Rider and pushed over to her. Nadya’s face lit up. Again I tried to take a mental snapshot of that dimple in her cheek.
“Wow! You’re going to trust me with that?”
The Low Rider had a fresh coat of cherry red metallic paint and the chrome was polished and buffed. I leaned it onto the stand in front of her. “Yes. This is a 1977 Low Rider. It’s about two hundred pounds lighter than my old 1964 Panhead, and a little lower to the ground, too.”
She came over to my side of the Harley and tentatively grabbed the handlebars.
“Go ahead and get on. I’ll show you how it all works.”
Nadya was a quick study and after I followed her around the block a couple of times, she pointed toward downtown Reno. I pulled up beside her. “Ready to give it some gas?”
She nodded. “For sure.”
“Stay beside me. We ride side by side and we have a better chance of being seen by cars.”
“All right.”
We put the bikes in gear and roared down the street like this was our last day on earth.
…
After lunch we rode home and Nadya called Sasha. She and Aren came over, then Adam and Lana, and finally Jason pulled up. Word traveled fast through the Pack. I tried not to obsess over the clock. They deserved some time with her. They loved Nadya, too.
But the clock was ticking, marking the minutes of her life, and it’d never been louder than today. Greedily, I wanted to keep every second for myself.
Adam and Lana left first to go get ready for the full moon. The Pack met at Adam’s ranch before each full moon and carpooled up to Lake Tahoe to go shift in the woods. Lana would stay behind with the twins, and Sasha would keep watch over them until the Pack came back.
Everyone assumed I’d be with them at Lake Tahoe. I didn’t tell them any different.
“We should get going.” Aren rubbed Sasha’s shoulders. “We’re supposed to be at the ranch soon.”
She stood and embraced Nadya. I turned and stared out the window. She had no idea this was good-bye, and it wasn’t my place to say anything. This was Nadya’s final wish. I’d pay the price later.
Jason came over and slipped me a full syringe. “This can be injected into any muscle, shoulder or thigh. It’ll keep her down for the night.”
I put it in my pocket and clasped his forearms. “Thanks, Jason.”
He went over to hug Nadya and then he, Aren, and Sasha headed out. After the door shut behind them, Nadya rushed into my arms, her cheeks wet with tears. “That was harder than I imagined,” she whispered.
I held her close, ignoring the soreness in my ribs. I closed my eyes tight. “Jason gave me the sedative. If you change your mind…”
“No.” She sniffled and pulled back enough to see my face. “I want to do this on my terms.”
I nodded. “That doesn’t make this suck any less.”
She almost smiled, wiping her eyes. “You got that right.” Nadya glanced at the window. The shadows lengthened outside. “I guess we’d better get going.”
My stomach roiled, twisting with dread. “I need to tell you something first.” I caught her chin, turning her face up toward me. “I hate this plan. But I understand…” I cleared my throat, struggling to keep my voice even. “We’ll do this your way. But I’m bringing the sedative, and if you change your mind I’m pumping you with drugs and keeping you with me for however many days we have left.”
She rested a hand over my heart. “Remember how you told me I deserved a stronger mate?” She shook her head slowly. “There is no one in this world stronger than you, Gareth Takoda. Thank you for helping me keep control over something in this crazy tailspin I’m in.”
“Don’t thank me. Not for this.” My voice caught. I shook my head. “Enough. Let’s ride.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Nadya
I kept my arms low on Gareth’s waist, trying not to hurt his ribs as we roared down the highway toward Pyramid Lake. Sitting behind him with the wind pulling at my clothes, it was surreal to realize I hadn’t even hit twenty-five yet, and here I was wondering if he’d get his ribs looked at after I was gone.
After I was gone.
Crazy.
I’d tried so hard to face this twist of fate on my own terms, to stay engaged and not sink into despair. Why waste tears and time over an event I couldn’t change? But as the minutes ticked away and the landscape darkened around us, I started second-guessing myself. If I let Gareth give me the sedative, would we have another week together?
Or would I get upset and shift tomorrow, dying as a deformed creature the way Fonthill had the night he bit me? This was my chance to leave this world not as a victim of Nero, but marked as Gareth’s mate. I needed to be strong and see this through. There wasn’t going to be a happy ending either way.
We crested the ridge
and the sunset reflected on the smooth water of the lake. Stunning. My eyes brimmed with tears. I couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful. Above us the full moon hung low, waiting for the final remnant of the day to pass so she could shine in all her glory. My skin was already starting to itch.
Gareth turned onto the road that circled the lake and gunned the engine. I closed my eyes, memorizing the crisp feel of the air stinging my cheeks. Alive. He parked the Harley outside the metal gate meant to keep the tourists away from the Stone Mother, and we walked hand in hand toward her. Her salty tears filled a lake, and now mine would join hers.
Gareth stopped at the base of the basket and pulled me into his arms, kissing my lips hard and urgent. A warm teardrop hit my cheek, and my heart crumbled. None of this was fair or right. We should have had our whole lives ahead of us, our own children to bounce on our knees as we passed on the stories of the Stone Mother to them. We should’ve been able to tell them about the grandparents they would never meet.
He stepped back, holding my face in both his hands. The soft glow of the moon shone on the single tear on my mate’s cheek. He whispered through gritted teeth. “I can’t fight the moon much longer. Please, Nadya.” He withdrew the syringe. “Take this. I can’t lose you, sweetheart. Do this for me.”
“Go shift.” I took the sedative from him and climbed up into the basket. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His voice already had a raspy tone, his wolf aching to come forward.
I sat deep in the shadows with the syringe. It would be simple. I might even wake up in his arms in the morning.
Maybe.
I could also be partially shifted and bleed out from my nose and ears like the other members of Nero’s Lycan Project.
This was better.
I stuffed the sedative into the pocket of my jacket and waited in the dark. Even without being able to see the moon, its pull was there. My bones ached, my skin tingled, and my throat went dry. I wrapped my arms around my middle and closed my eyes, rocking and begging my wolf to stay back. Our mate was coming to us. We had to be patient.
A lone howl cut through my inner dialogue. My eyes popped open and I held my breath, waiting. Outside pebbles fell as he came closer. Finally the solid black wolf with dark eyes leapt into the opening of the Stone Mother’s basket. I stood and the wolf dropped his head and looked at the water.