by Rose, Willow
7
April 2012
IT WAS ON THE honeymoon in Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt things started to go wrong for the young couple. They stayed in the honeymoon suite at a big resort outside of town and every day, after spending hours in the water snorkeling, looking at thousands of exotic and beautiful fish, they took a taxi downtown to go to dinner.
They liked the local food and the atmosphere in the streets and always ended up smoking water pipes in one of those small places where they put a Fez on your head and you sat comfortably on the ground on big velvet pillows.
It was all very perfect, they both agreed. Maybe a little too perfect. And it didn't take long before Signe started to get bored.
After a week in the small Egyptian town, she turned to look at Mads one night sitting on the red pillows. He was smoking a water pipe with a satisfied smile on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Signe tilted her head.
"You look like you just came up with a cunning plan or something," Mads continued. He laughed and smoked his pipe.
"I want to see other people," she said. She was as surprised by her outburst as he was.
Mads sounded like he was choking on the smoke and started coughing.
"What?" he asked when the worst of the coughing was over. "What did you say?"
"Nothing," she answered and drank her mint tea. It tasted the same as it had the day before and the day before that.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"It was just a joke," she said.
Mads leaned back in his pillow. "Okay. Not a very good one, I must say."
"It was fun for me," she said. "Let's go."
Mads shrugged. "Why? Isn't it nice here?"
"No. I want to move on. I want to get drunk in a bar or something. Come on."
They paid and walked into the crowded street among the many western tourists. They were all so dull and boring, Signe thought. She saw an elderly couple walking towards them. Suddenly, everything inside of her screamed in despair.
That's us. That's us in like a hundred years from now. So this is it? Isn’t there more to life than this?
"Let's do something crazy," she suddenly said and grabbed Mads' arm. "Come."
She dragged him down an alley and into a small bar with nothing but locals. They ordered two beers and sat in the back of the room.
"Why did you want to come here?" Mads asked.
Signe sipped her beer while staring at the bartender. He was young, in his early twenties. He was well-built and dark as the night.
"Look at him," she said.
"What about him?" Mads asked.
Signe sensed he was getting a little anxious now. It aroused her slightly. The feeling of utter power that she possessed over him.
"I want him," she said. "I want to fuck him."
"Are you kidding me?" Mads asked, appalled.
"Watch me."
Signe got up. She undid the top button of her dress so you could see the top of her breasts. With her beer in her hand, she walked to the counter and sat on a stool. The bartender smiled gently. His teeth were white against his dark skin. He was very handsome, she thought. He stared at her breasts.
"You like what you see?" she asked.
The man smiled and nodded. "Very nice."
"You want to touch? You want to fuck me?"
"Yes. Yes I do."
8
April 2014
JUST LIKE THE PREVIOUS nights, I couldn't sleep. I was walking around in the hotel room biting my nails and eating chocolate from the minibar while Morten slept in the bed. I stared into the night outside our hotel room. I saw hundreds of lights outside, coming from streetlamps or the inside of houses from people like me who couldn't sleep as well. I couldn't help but wonder if Maya was inside any of those houses…If she was somewhere nearby wondering how to get ahold of me. But why hadn't she called? Why?
Even if she ran, she knew I would forgive her. I would be angry, yes, but I was her mother. I would try and help her no matter what had happened. Didn't she know that? How could she not know that?
I am her mother goddammit!
I sulked a little and opened another chocolate bar. I ate it while hoping she at least was somewhere safe, that she wasn't wandering the streets somewhere or trusting the wrong people. It was terrifying to know she was out there for yet another night, alone without money or anyone to protect her.
She'll be back. As soon as she runs out of money, she'll be back. There’s nowhere she can go, nowhere to stay. She'll call. Of course she will.
Her dad had told me she had taken around a thousand kroner from his drawer. It wouldn't last long. A couple of nights in a cheap hotel, and food for a couple of days, if she didn't eat much. That was it. She had to come back then. I had to cling on to that.
You don't really believe that, do you?
I didn't. I didn't believe for one second she was out there hiding somewhere wondering what to do next. I knew my daughter, for crying out loud. I couldn't let the police and that stupid reporter get to me.
"Aren't you coming to bed soon?" Morten asked with a drowsy voice.
"Sorry if I woke you up," I said and threw away the chocolate paper. I didn't want him to know that I was eating in the middle of the night. Not that he would have anything against it. I didn't think he would. No, I was just embarrassed. I hated that I couldn't stop eating whenever I felt agitated and worried.
"You're not helping Maya by staying up worrying all night," he said. "If we're to find her, then you need to be rested. Don't let all those stupid thoughts run off with you. They'll drive you insane if you let them."
I crawled into bed and cuddled up next to him. He put his arms around me. It felt good. I needed that.
"We'll find her. Don't worry, Emma," he said and kissed my forehead. "Now let's get some sleep."
I closed my eyes and finally dozed off. Once I had given in to the power of sleep and finally found my rest on some ship that could fly, my phone started to ring and woke me up.
"Maya!" I screamed and sprang out of bed. I answered the phone without looking at the display. "Maya?"
The voice on the other end was male. "No. I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour, Mrs. Frost."
"Officer Hansen?" My heart stopped. I was strained by fear. Why was he calling like this in the middle of the night? Had something happened? Had they found Maya? Oh no, had something bad happened to her?
Please tell me she is alright.
"What's going on, Officer?" I asked with a shivering voice. My eyes met Morten's. He was worried as well. As a police officer, he knew they only called when really bad things happened.
"We found the car," Officer Hansen said. "I thought you should know."
"The car? Where?"
"In the fjord. It's being pulled up as we speak. Divers have been down there and they saw the license plate. I just received word. I thought you should know."
I gasped. I focused on keeping my breathing steady. "…and…and Maya?"
"She wasn't in it. The car was empty."
9
April 2014
I WAS HARDLY BREATHING when I hung up with Officer Hansen.
"They found the car?" Morten asked.
"They're pulling it out of the fjord as we speak," I said.
Morten got up from the bed. He threw my jeans at me and put his shirt on. "Let's go."
"Go where?"
"To wherever the car is being pulled out. If we're going to find Maya, then we need all the clues. They might pull something out of the car that can point us in her direction."
I wasn't going to argue against that. I wasn't going to sleep anyway and I really wanted to go and see the car. I got dressed and we drove towards the harbor while Morten made some phone calls to find out where it was exactly they had found the car. Sometimes, it really paid off to be the girlfriend of a police officer. I felt very blessed to have him as I listened to him find out internal things I would never be able to on my own. I c
ouldn't believe he had taken a week off from work to help me search for Maya. He had done so without even blinking. "It’s the least I can do," was his response when I thanked him.
I didn't think it was.
"My colleagues told me they think the car was driven into the water from the bridge to Enoe. They’re pulling it out of the water from the harbor in Karrebaeksminde on the landside of the bridge. I should be able to get us in behind the police barricade."
"You're the best," I said.
Morten drove us through the small town of Karrebaeksminde, then parked the car at the harbor. It was very easy to find the scene. They had lit the entire area up with lamps, and huge cranes were working on pulling Michael's car out. Just as we arrived, I spotted it hanging in the air and the crane was now turning to get it back on land. We walked to the police tape and Morten talked to the officer there, showing him his badge and telling him I was a person of interest who needed to be there.
It wasn't far from the truth.
Morten walked in front of me towards the car that was now being carefully placed on the asphalt with a loud clunk. My heart was in my throat as I looked at the wrecked car and at all the water that was now splashing out of it onto the ground. Up until now, it had all been like an odd dream, like a freakish nightmare, but seeing my ex-husband's car in front of me suddenly made it all seem very real. I gasped for air and felt Morten's hand on my shoulder.
"It's okay, Emma," he whispered. "She wasn't in it, remember. She’s still out there somewhere. She’s still alive. Don't lose hope. Without hope you'll never be able to find her."
I caught my breath and bent over slightly in order to breathe better. I watched as forensics experts attacked the car and started securing evidence. I heard the sound of a camera clicking behind me and turned to see Rebekka Franck and that photographer of hers. They had somehow managed to get past the police barricade as well. She saw me and came closer. I sighed and turned my head away. I really didn't want to speak to her right now.
"Emma Frost?" she asked. I could hear her footsteps approaching. I didn't turn to look, but knew she was right behind me. "Oh my God, Emma, how are you feeling?" she asked.
Startled by her compassion, I turned to look at her.
"It must be awful for you," she said.
"Well…Wait. Is this for your paper?" I asked, suddenly afraid of making the front cover with some dramatic headline.
"No. No. Of course not. I mean, we're going to mention that the car was found and pulled out of the water, but I'm not going to mention a word about you. I see no reason to."
I felt relief. Maybe she wasn't as hungry for sensation as I had first taken her to be. "Well, good. ‘Cause this is kind of private."
"I know. Oh my God, no. I don't do that kind of journalism. I was just thinking about you. I have two kids of my own. I can't imagine what you must be going through."
"I don't think most people would want to," I said. I felt the tears pressing behind my eyes, but refused to let them go.
"At least there was no one in the car," Rebekka said. "Gives you hope that she is still alive, right?"
I nodded. I didn't feel like talking anymore. This was simply too hard. I knew if I opened my mouth, I would burst into tears. I heard someone shout and turned to look in the direction of the car. A guy in a blue bodysuit had found something and was holding it in the air.
I gasped and grabbed hold of Morten's shirt.
"What is it?" Rebekka asked. "What did they find? It looks like a necklace of some sort."
"It's Maya's necklace." I said and looked at the golden chain with the heart hanging from it. The heart with the four small diamonds in it that I had seen so many times when looking at my daughter.
10
April 2012
THE BARTENDER FOLLOWED HER into the bathroom in the bar. They passed Mads on the way and Signe gave him a flirtatious look.
"Signe, goddammit," he said, but she danced past him like she hadn't heard him, like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to walk to the restroom with a strange man.
Signe opened the door and signaled the bartender to follow her. Just as she closed it, her eyes met Mads' and she could have sworn his eyes turned black. It amused her. She liked seeing him like this. It wasn't that she cared about the bartender. No, she was indifferent about him. No, what aroused her was the tension, the excitement of knowing she had made her husband green and flaming with jealousy.
She pulled the bartender closer and let him kiss her neck. She moaned purposely loud to make sure Mads could hear them. The bartender smelled like sweat and he had bad breath when he kissed her. She felt his hand up under her skirt and his fingers finding their way underneath her panties.
"Oh yes, bad boy," she moaned. "Take me. Touch me right there. I want to feel you inside of me. I want to feel your big cock inside of me now. I bet you have a huge cock, don't you?"
The bartender smiled and opened his pants and let it out. Signe was disappointed. It was small, probably the smallest she had ever seen. It made her angry with him. The bartender grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer.
"Now, we make love," he whispered in her ear.
Where is he? Where is Mads? Why isn't he doing something?
Signe moaned louder and giggled as she felt the bartender's hands all over her breasts. He was fumbling and hurting her slightly. But it was all worth it, knowing Mads was out there being eaten up with jealousy. This would teach him not to take her for granted.
"Easy there, tiger," Signe said, as the bartender grabbed her hands and held her up against the wall.
"You say we fuck, I say we fuck," the bartender said in his bad English. "So now we fuck."
"I think I might have changed my mind," Signe said. It hadn't been her intention to go through with it anyway. She just wanted to add a little excitement to the vacation. To spice it up a little. She wanted Mads to burst in there and tell her not to go through with it. But he wasn't coming, was he? Had he given up that easily? Wasn't he prepared to fight for her after all? Maybe he didn't love her as much as he had pretended to?
"Please, get off me," Signe said and tried to pull her hands loose, but the bartender held her tight.
"We fuck," he said.
"No. No we don't," Signe said "I changed my mind."
The bartender shook his head. "No. We fuck now."
He held her hand in a tight grip and was pushing himself at her when suddenly the door to the restroom opened and Mads stormed in. Signe smiled widely when she saw him. Then she closed her eyes and pretended to be enjoying the bartender's touch.
"Oh yes, right there, give it to me bad boy. Give it to me."
"Signe!" Mads yelled. "Stop it and come back with me. Don't do this to us."
She opened her eyes and looked at her husband. She was thrilled to see the anger in his eyes. "Fight for me," she said.
"What?"
"Fight for me or I'll let him fuck me. You hear me Mads? I want you to fight for me. Hurt him."
Mads, who was at least two heads taller than the Egyptian guy didn't think it over for even a second. He grabbed the bartender by the neck and pulled him away from Signe, forcing the Egyptian guy to smash against the wall. Then he punched the bartender in the face and the blow made the guy fall backwards into the porcelain sink with a loud thud.
After that, the bartender didn't move anymore. Mads looked at Signe. Her eyes grew wide. "He's not moving, Mads. His head is bleeding. Is he…Do you think he…?"
Mads bent down and felt for a pulse, then he looked up at Signe.
"Yes, he’s dead."
"You killed him? You killed him…for me?" Never had Signe loved her husband more than she did in those seconds.
11
April 2014
THEY KEPT THE NECKLACE. The police told me it was evidence and put it in a small plastic bag to be examined. Morten and I watched as they pulled the car apart and then we decided to go back to the hotel. Rebekka Franck and her photographer
also left after having taken a few pictures and taken a statement from the police. She waved to me as she walked back to her car and I waved back. She still annoyed me, but there was something about her I had started to like. She seemed honest and fair. And very professional.
The next morning, when I read the local paper on my iPad in the hotel restaurant, I found her article to be very decent and fair towards us. Maya didn't come off as just a criminal. It was put up to the reader to judge. Rebekka had taken the statements from the police and the sister Thilde, but made sure to write that there were still doubts about what really happened to the girl who drove the car that hit Mads Schou.
I was satisfied with the outcome. I wouldn't say I was happy, because I don't think you'd ever be happy to see your daughter's name mentioned in this context, but I wasn't angry with it. It was fair.
I grabbed another croissant from my plate, put some jam on it and ate it. Morten sipped his coffee. I felt disgusted with myself. I had eaten almost all night and here I was at it again. It just showed me how devastated I really was. Morten noticed it as well.
"It's okay to be upset, Emma," he said. "You can tell me if you're sad. You don't have to keep hiding it from me and trying to be this superwoman. I know you worry. And I know you eat a lot when you worry."
I took another bite of the croissant. I felt embarrassed. "You're right. You have no idea how much I've eaten the last couple of days," I said.
"I think I have a slight idea," he said. "I've been with you, remember? Now, I don't care that you eat a lot, not even that you eat a lot of chocolate at night. You're beautiful to me, no matter what happens and I know it's just because you're upset. But I worry about you. I'm afraid you're making yourself more and more miserable because you don't talk to me about things that bother you. It's like you shut everything off inside of you. And then you stuff your mouth to keep it down."