Phoenix Rising

by Cara Carnes

  Vira smirked, and I couldn’t help but suspect I was missing something important. I’d never heard that name before, had no idea where she would’ve come up with it. Hopefully, it wouldn’t cause problems for me down the road.

  I stood on the duct-taped X on the floor and smiled into the camera when told to. Moments later, I was the proud owner of my first identification card. And, Jesus, I looked worse than I had imagined.

  “Ha! See? Every I.D. card picture is horrible even for gorgeous things like you.” Vira headed toward the elevator. “Don’t lose that. Until you get your other cards, that’s as good as gold around here to prove who you are and what faction you’re affiliated with.”

  I studied the card and noted the wolf’s head in the corner of the card. She’d affiliated me with Macen’s pack. “I hope he doesn’t mind me referencing his pack.”

  “I’m thinking that’ll be the last thing he notices if he ever gets ahold of your card.” Vira chuckled. “Let’s go get you math savvy.”

  Hopefully, afterward, I could stay up there and look into the whole angel and phoenix thing. I doubted Vira knew what she was talking about. It made no sense for me to be something that rare since I was as ordinary as possible.

  “I can’t wait to show Macen this card. I finally have an I.D.”

  “I can’t wait for you to show him either.”

  Chapter Seven

  Riles

  I’d morphed into a new person in a matter of a few days. The freedom worked wonders on my self-esteem. I loved my classes except for Business Math, but, really, who loved math? I smiled inwardly as I settled into my new hidey hole—a table on the top story of the library.

  No one ever came up here. It was the perfect spot. I’d grown accustomed to having a hidey hole a few months into my second year with Jacob’s pack when I realized no one liked me. Until then, I’d been relatively sheltered within Elise’s care.

  My fifth birthday party had changed everything. That was when the entire pack had finally realized how freakish I was. I couldn’t shift. All the other kids had shifted, running and chasing one another in wolf form. There I was, scampering along with my weak human legs, totally unaware I was an abomination from that point forward.

  Every child shifted by age five.

  I was defective, tossed to the outskirts of the city where pack members serving out punishments took shifts attending to my need for food and clean clothes when they remembered. A few saw to my education, so I wouldn’t reflect badly on Jacob if anyone ever learned I was raised by them.

  I cast away the negative emotions brought on by the past and pulled out my purple binder, which matched my purple backpack. The supplies I’d ferreted from Wolf Hall were beyond cool. I’d wanted to thank Macen myself, but I hadn’t seen him since….

  Heat rose in my face when I remembered what we’d done Saturday. Four days had passed since then, but my body still heated at the memory and the words that’d settled into my fantasies.

  The next time we’re alone, I’m going to have you.

  I hadn’t expected to wait this long, but I could only imagine how hectic things had been for him. I’d barely managed to stay afloat, and I didn’t have a huge pack to tend to on top of senior level courses.

  He hadn’t called.

  Insecurities had crushed me a few times. I’d passed Wolf Hall several times the last couple of days and seen Stacy and her crew lurking around outside. I’d hoped to see Van, maybe Logan or Lane. I wanted to make sure Macen was okay. It didn’t mean I was obsessed with him or anything.

  You’re only repaying his kindness. He worried about you. It makes sense you’d do the same in return. It means nothing more.

  Sure. I kept telling myself this again and again because the alternative was too terrifying. I couldn’t have gotten melded to him that quickly. I’d heard of it happening with heart mates, but I wasn’t wolf. Or even a shifter.

  He’d never be mine.

  Hopefully, he wasn’t avoiding me. It wasn’t like I had expectations.

  “Riletta.”

  I jumped when I heard the terse voice boom behind me. “Hi, Dean Sandusky.”

  “Come with me.”

  “What’s going on?”

  The dean sighed and pulled out his cellphone. “Why does everything have to be a challenge with you?”

  I tensed, his disdain echoing Jacob’s. I’d been away from his grasp for almost a week and had just acclimated to not feeling the tension, the angst of waiting for the next insult or chastisement.

  “I’m sorry you think so, Dean. I would merely like to know where I’m going and why. Safety first, you know.” I shoved my binder back into my backpack and looked at him as I stood. “Is there a problem?”

  “With you, there’s always a problem.” He grasped my arm with his meaty hand and pulled me toward the stairwell.

  I wanted to punch and shove him away, but my pulse quickened as my mind processed his size versus mine. He was too big, and I was alone. Maybe this hidey hole wasn’t the best after all.

  How had he found me up here?

  I grimaced under the pressure of his fingers digging into my flesh, but remained silent as he dragged me toward what I assumed was his office on the top floor of the building beside the library. I surmised he must’ve seen me enter from his lofty perch.

  Asshole.

  He shoved me into a chair and sat behind his desk with a smug grin on his face. He reminded me of a peacock minus the feathers, strutting around as though everyone wanted to be him.

  “Is there a problem, sir?”

  “Your test results came back inconclusive.” He shoved the paper toward me.

  “Okay.”

  What was I supposed to say? I’d known that would happen.

  “I understand from Prince Drecor your presence within Ruger is causing problems. Apparently you have ROAR agitated about your situation, and it’s causing security concerns for him.”

  “I’m afraid I can’t help you, sir. I contacted ROAR and asked a few questions, but I never complained about my living situation or the residents of Ruger Hall. I’m not sure where the Prince is getting his information from, but I can assure you I’m not trying to create problems.”

  “Well, you need to call off your mutt if you want to remain here. I can’t tolerate dissension within this university. I warned Jacob I wouldn’t tolerate nonsense from you. However, because I do respect him, I’ll give you until the end of the day to get Macen to withdraw his complaints with the university.” He glared at me from over the top of his black-rimmed glasses. “This is hardly ROAR’s concern since we have yet to even establish what you are. I doubt you fall within their jurisdiction.”

  The problem was I fell nowhere.

  “I’ll see to it, sir. Is there anything else?” I perched myself on the edge of my chair, ready to spring out of the room.

  My skin crawled when I was near him. At least he’d given me a plausible excuse to leave. I had to speak with Macen immediately. I couldn’t afford to get kicked out of this school since Jacob had made it quite clear I was never to return to the Cervantez pack.

  “That will be all.” He glared up at me when I stood. “I’ll expect a very profound apology from you to the Prince for the trouble you caused. He was kind enough to give you accommodations, and you returned his kindness with theatrics. You are not in jeopardy, Riletta. No one cares whether you live or die, so why should anyone give a damn if you are here or not? This isn’t about you. This is about ensuring the students of this university are not adversely impacted by your presence.”

  I coughed to avoid sniffling as I responded to his words. I hated that I still had a soft underbelly, the one men like him exposed and pounded on with ruthless efficiency. I should be immune to the whip of hatred by now, but it still stung as badly as it had the first time.

  “I don’t want to cause problems, sir. I merely want to study like everyone else and live without worry.”

  “Well, Riletta, it’s time you acce
pt you are an abomination. Your very existence undermines all the diplomatic work we’ve done for nearly a century to get paranormal beings on an equal footing with humans. The fact you are none of the things we’ve proven are safe and willing to abide by the Code of Conduct is an insult to everything we’ve strived for.”

  I kept my gaze downward, but I sensed the smugness in his voice. He’d shattered the bubble of contentment I’d constructed the past few days. Jacob would be proud of him.

  “Leave before I decide not to be so lenient and kick your ass off this university right now.”

  I fled the room, swiping at my face as I raced down the stairwell. I had to stop this. I had to figure out a way to exist here without a problem.

  All I’d wanted was an identity, papers to work. Make my own way. Alone.

  I could handle it. I’d done well enough so far.

  Wolf Hall was across campus, which I was thankful for. It gave me enough time to get myself pulled together and somewhat prepared for Stacy. There’d be a run-in. The fact I’d avoided it all week was a small miracle.

  I took the steps up to the visitor’s entrance, my stomach roiling, my heart heavy. I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to know what I was. I didn’t want to be in Ruger Hall.

  I wanted the normalcy Macen dangled before me.

  “I’d hoped you had enough sense not to come around here.” Stacy pranced to stand in front of me the moment I stepped into Wolf Hall. A cluster of women and a couple of men stood around her, snarling. It was almost comical to imagine a pack as ferocious and massive as this one being so obsessed with hating a nothing like me.

  “I need to speak with Macen.”

  “I tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen. If he hasn’t called or seen you, he’s not interested. Get lost.” Stacy shoved me. Her blonde hair swished around her shoulders as she advanced on me. “I’m done being nice. He’s got too much shit on his plate to deal with your pathetic ass.”

  Anger kept me standing there even though I wanted to flee, to forget I’d ever stumbled across Macen and this pack. I didn’t need this shit from her.

  “I’m not leaving until I talk to him.”

  “You’re in for a long wait. He’s not here,” a guy behind Stacy stated. “His pack back home needed him.”

  “Is he okay?”

  “That’s not your business, bitch.” Stacy shoved me again.

  “Leave her be.”

  Lane made his way down the massive staircase. Crap on a swizzle stick. I didn’t want to deal with this man. He was too big, too everything. He terrified me on a primal level.

  Like Macen without the softness.

  The clustering pack dispersed quickly, leaving Stacy alone in the stare down she’d started with me. I wasn’t leaving until I knew he was okay. I’d figure out some other way to deal with my issues.

  Maybe I could call ROAR myself and speak with them. Surely, I had a right to stop whatever they were doing if it had to do with me. Right?

  Lane loomed in front of me, having shoved Stacy out of the way without my notice. I stopped my memorization of the floor and looked up. And up. Jesus, he was too freaking tall. I studied the floor again.

  Warm fingers caressed my chin and pulled softly until I stared into his obsidian gaze. A smile appeared on his face as I swallowed. Even though he was gorgeous, my body didn’t sing for him like it did with Macen. Heat coursed through me when I thought about him.

  “Is Macen okay?”

  “I just spoke with him. He had to leave for a family emergency Saturday right after we left you. My apologies for not telling you.”

  “I didn’t have any right to know. I actually came for a different reason. I’m sorry for being so nosy.”

  “Come.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me to a small room off the entryway.

  The door clicked closed behind us, and pangs of nervousness crawled across my skin. I didn’t know what to expect from this stranger. Would he be like Jacob? Or more like Macen?

  Tension kept me frozen, locked in the possible scenarios I ran through my mind. Having conversational exit strategies had worked well for me in the past.

  “You done thinking everything through, or do you need a minute?” He flashed a grin when I looked at him. “You remind me of a girl in my pack back home—always thinking things through before she spoke, never wanted to make waves.”

  He was too astute.

  “Thing was, she did that ’cause her pa was a piece of shit who needed to be taken out back and ripped into pieces. I’ve got to say, seeing her in you doesn’t make my wolf happy.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Don’t ever apologize for being, Riles. The sooner you learn that, the better things’ll be.” Lane leaned against the wall across from me, giving me enough space to breathe deeply and calm down.

  “I was hoping Macen would be here and have a moment to speak with me. I swear it has nothing to do with….” What the hell was I thinking? I’d almost blurted out what we’d done Saturday. “I just need him to handle something for me.”

  “Well, I’m afraid he’s not going to be around for the next few days, possibly longer. His parents were killed in a car accident.”

  No. My knees gave out. Something within me stirred, shifted into place. My vision speckled with white dots as I found myself held up by Lane.

  “Whoa. What just happened?”

  I don’t know.

  “Sit down.” He settled me into a chair and knelt to look at me. “You get dizzy?”

  “I think so.”

  Lane went to the corner behind the desk and grabbed water from the mini-fridge. “Here. Drink this. All of it.”

  Bossy Alpha.

  He chuckled. “I saw that look. I think Macen hasn’t figured out what a handful you really are.”

  Oh, he’s had his hands full of me a time or two.

  At Lane’s burst of laughter, I cursed. “Did I just say that out loud?”

  “I believe so.”

  “Sorry. I’m pretty sure Vira’s been rubbing off on me the past few days.”

  “I’m not. I just wish Stacy had been here to hear it. Set that bitch in her place once and for all.”

  “That would be mean,” I whispered. I sipped on my water for a moment and considered my options. “Please send my condolences to Macen when you speak with him. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for him.”

  Actually, I could. In a way. I’d mourned my family my entire life. Then again, I hadn’t ever known them, so I couldn’t possibly ache as much as Macen did. I certainly had zero business unloading my problems at their doorstep right now.

  “Thank you for helping.” I stood to leave and found myself gently pushed back into the chair. He pulled out his phone and tendrils of unease rippled through me. “Please don’t, Lane.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t do whatever you’re about to do because I know you shouldn’t, whatever it is.”

  “Hey, man. Need a few to handle something here.” He held the phone away from his ear and whistled at the roar of curse words streaming through the room. “Dial it down there, buddy.”

  I couldn’t do this. My God, how selfish was I to even think to sit here and let him bother Macen with my melodrama? I’d figure something out, starting with an apology to Prince Drecor.

  “Move, and I’ll put you over my knee.” Lane chuckled and winked. “I am Macen’s stand-in after all.”

  Heat rose in my cheeks. My butt ached from the hard thud it had taken against the chair.

  “Man, dial it back, or I’m not passing the phone.” He chuckled some more. “Yeah. Yeah. Love ya, too, buddy.”

  My heartbeat thundered in my ears when I took the phone. What should I say? “Riles.”

  The pain and need in his voice was so evident, I stopped breathing. Tears clouded my vision. I’d give anything to make the hurt in his voice go away.

  “I wish I could make it all go away,” I whispered. I couldn’t apologize. No amou
nt of apology for his loss would make it go away. Nothing would, not even time. It simply dulled to a tolerable throb, a chasm in your soul which couldn’t be filled.

  “I wanted to call, but you don’t have a phone, do you?”

  “No.”

  “We’ll be changing that.”

  There he was, the wolf in shining armor set on righting every wrong I’d been dealt. Something stirred deep in me once more. Calm coursed through my blood. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, wishing I was closer so I could hold him, kiss away the tears he’d never shed. I wanted to be his rock as he’d been mine, yet I knew I had no right.

  “Are you the eldest?” He was too Alpha not to be.

  “Yes.” He cleared his throat, his voice thick with emotion. “Pops had begged me to come home, take over. I should’ve listened.”

  “That wouldn’t have stopped an accident. This isn’t your fault.”

  “Fuck, I needed to hear those sweet words from your sexy voice.”

  Lane averted his gaze, studying the wall as though it would come to life at any moment, seemingly unable to hear the sensual stream of need rumbling from the phone, heightening the angst I’d been carrying for days.

  “I need you, babe. Need you to let me bury myself so deep in you I can’t remember any of this bullshit.”

  I had no words. None. Need pulsed between my legs, hardened my nipples to throbbing buds. Simply thinking about him possessing me, commanding my body, made me ignite.

  Lane raised his eyebrows and backed up a bit. He crossed his arms and studied me. Looking away, ashamed of my quick-fire reaction to Macen.

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “Longer than I want to be. A couple of weeks.” He cleared his throat again. “No one told you?”

  “No. I-I’ve been busy and haven’t seen anyone.” The half-truth hung between us.

  “You been dodging the hall?”

  “No, I walked by a few times.”

  “No one saw you?”

  “I’m not pack. I didn’t need to know where you were.” I lowered my voice when I saw Lane’s gaze narrow to small pinpoints of disagreement. “It was private.”