by Bloom, Nikki
17
Erik
“Kerry, can you get me David at his office, please?”
“Sure thing, Mr. Crawford.”
I waited, tapping my fingers impatiently on the desk. I was on edge that morning because of last night’s dinner with my sister. It went well, but witnessing Crystal have to dodge around the truth got to me, only because it had clearly taken a toll on her. I thought everything would be fine after we left Christine’s. I was wrong. In the short time between leaving my sister’s place and returning to my apartment, Crystal had worked herself into a full-blown panic. I should have known—she’d been too quiet during the drive home.
As soon as we stepped through the door, she announced that she was leaving. I recalled our little tiff with an ache in my gut.
“I’m leaving, Erik.”
Silence stretched between us until I finally responded, “Excuse me?”
Her eyes shone with regret. “Tomorrow, I’m going back to my apartment. I should start preparing to leave…Seattle.”
I almost laughed. Leave? Was she fucking kidding? Turned out she wasn’t. Her expression was more serious than I’d ever seen. I never panicked. Ever. Yet, I found myself in a frantic mental state at the thought of her leaving. “What do you mean, you’re leaving? You’re not going anywhere.” I should have known better. Barking out orders never went well—not with her.
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “What, am I your prisoner here?”
“Don’t start.”
She shrugged. “I told you I couldn’t stay here forever. Eventually, I’d have to go. You knew that.”
Yeah, she’d said it many times, but it went in one ear and out the other because I’d decided that I wouldn’t let her go anywhere. Fighting down my rising panic, I asked, “Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
She paused, her gaze dropping to the hardwood floor. “Not all of a sudden. Like I said, we knew I’d have to leave at some point, but seeing your family…”
“You hated dinner with my sister?”
“No. Dinner was great. I like Mason and Christine. Seeing you with your family really put things into perspective. I was already worried about dragging you into my mess, Erik. But Mason and Christine... I should have stayed away from them. Dinner with your family was just too much.”
“It was just dinner and you seemed to handle it just fine.” I was desperate to make her see that she had no reason to worry.
“I hated lying to your sister.”
“I didn’t hear any lies.”
“Well, I hated ducking and dodging around her questions. I felt awful. This is why I made it a point to stay by myself.” She twisted her hands in front of her and eyed me with despair. “Things have gotten too serious between us. It’s time for me to pull back and put some distance—”
“Now you regret being with me?” My heart dropped to my stomach. I’d never been broken up with before, but this felt a lot like being dumped.
“Of course not!” She stepped closer, her eyes beseeching. “It isn’t you, I swear. You’re not the problem here, it’s me—”
“Yeah, I’ve used that line plenty of times.” Oh, the irony.
She screeched and threw her hands up. “Will you stop making this harder than it has to be? You know damn well what I’m trying to say. I was supposed to avoid this” she waved a hand between us, “I can’t afford to get too involved with anyone.”
“Too late. We’re beyond involved.” I’d fallen in love with her and she was ready to run. Gazing at her, I wondered if I should tell her how I felt. Maybe that would convince her to stay. Of course, I chickened out. With a sigh, I placed both hands on her shoulders. “Look, I understand why you’re afraid, but you can’t keep running the rest of your life. Is that what you plan to do?”
Her lower lip quivered and she hung her head. “There’s nothing else I can do. I just want to protect you.”
The words were a thread of whisper, but I heard the despair and desperation in her voice and my anger fled. I could do no other than to take her into my arms. “I know you do. Everything will be okay.” I hoped she believed me. I knew what I was going to do to fix things, but I couldn’t tell her just yet. She was already worried about me being involved.
My assistant’s voice pulled me from my memory of last night. “Mr. Hayes is on the line.” I blinked and cleared my throat.
“Hey, Crawford,” the gruff, gravelly voice greeted.
“David, how’s it going?”
“Five by five. Everything alright?”
“Sure. Why?”
“You don’t sound like your usual demanding, king of the world self.”
Is that really how I usually sounded? “Well, I have a lot on my mind.”
“You want to talk about it or drink about it?”
“Both,” I responded and sighed. I didn’t want to ask my friend the major favor I was going to propose over the phone. “Let’s meet at our usual spot around six.”
* * *
The bar was busy as it usually was. The Downtown Pub was a popular hangout spot. It was a place where many who worked in the surrounding area came to blow off steam. There were cops, lawyers, bankers, businessmen like myself—an assortment of individuals gathered under one roof to relax after a long day.
It had been a particularly long one for me. All day, my mind had been troubled with thoughts of Crystal disappearing on me. But what was I going to do? Follow her to work like some creepy, overly possessive boyfriend and watch her from the shadows to make sure she didn’t try to run? I thought about doing that. I almost did it. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I heaved a sigh. I was losing my mind, and I suspected Crystal was going out of hers with worry too. I had to make things right for her— for both of us.
David was quiet, studying me over his beer bottle with curiosity. Finally, he spoke. “You planning to sigh and brood all night or are you going to tell me what’s up?”
I took a shot of whisky and felt the soothing burn travel down my throat. “I’ll get there, just let me have a few drinks.” I planned to have my driver collect me later because I’d suspected I might get hammered. I called Crystal to make sure she was home and okay, so I felt somewhat better. David and I sat quietly as the sounds of the bar circulated— chatter, laughter, the clinking of glasses, voices from the television above the bar.
“I need a huge favor,” I announced after a while.
There was no hesitation on David’s part. “Done.”
Somewhat surprised, I glanced at him. “You don’t even know what it is.”
He shrugged broad shoulders and scratched his beard. “You’ve been a good friend, Crawford. You helped me out a lot back in the day when I decided to quit the police department and go solo.”
I hadn’t dwelled on that much. I didn’t help people to make myself feel better. I helped because it was the right thing to do. I mimicked his shrug. “No big deal.”
“Not to you. Besides you’re one of my best friends—”
“I’m your only friend.”
He bellowed and I grinned. “Fuck you. But you’re right.” He took a long swig from his bottle. “Not many can put up with my dickish ways.”
“You’re alright, David...most of the time.”
“About that favor. I already know this is about that woman you’re hung up on, but what is it?”
I frowned. “You make me sound pathetic when you use the words like hung up on.”
“You are pathetic. You went and fell in love, you fool. Does anything good ever come out of falling in love?”
Bitterness rang in the man’s tone and his expression was one of disdain. “My God, David. All these years, I knew we were both cautious about relationships, but I’m realizing that you’re more fucked up than I’ve ever been.”
He snorted. “And I don’t feel any goddamn way about it.”
“I know you don’t.” Lowering my voice, I started, “You already know the situation with Crystal.”
“Uh
huh and you already know that I think you’re an idiot for getting involved.”
I shrugged. “Then I’ll gladly be the idiot.”
“Christ, you’re head over heels,” David said incredulously with a hint of disgust. “Guess I’m involved now too. What do you want me to do?”
“We’re going to do something that the authorities haven’t been able to do.”
“Are we now?” David asked, not in the least excited. He always managed to be calm and bored even in the most serious of situations. “And what’s that? Create world peace?”
“Asshole,” I muttered and he chortled. “We’re going to take down Crystal’s...Ava’s father. He’s got money and connections, so he’s been living above the law for quite some time. But I’ve got more money and you’ve got more connections. What do you say?”
“I say you stay here, pretty boy, and let me handle the dirty work.”
“What? No way—"
“Do you really think you can prance around New York unnoticed?” he scoffed, eyeing me from head to toes in my Armani suit. Okay, maybe he had a point.
“I can—"
“Sit your ass down, let me go to New York and work my magic while you pay for everything. It’s for the best and you know it.”
I stared at him, defiance flowing through my veins, as I contemplated. David was the ex-cop. I had no experience in that area, so yes it was for the best. But I wanted to be—
“You’ll still be her hero,” David said quietly as if reading my mind.
A silent understanding passed between us and we said nothing more on the topic in the crowded bar.
18
Crystal
It was a day where my anxiety and paranoia were at an all-time high. That was why I found myself sneaking out of Erik’s apartment to head back to mine. I felt horrible. I knew he thought he’d talked me out of leaving last night, which was why he felt comfortable enough to leave me alone for the evening. He was with his friend and I was in the process of disappointing him. He’d be beyond disappointed when he got home and I was gone.
I was tempted to turn back because my heart broke into tinier pieces with each mile I put between me and his apartment. But I had to do what I had to for his own good. I was sure Erik would forget about me and move on in no time. I, on the other hand, who had foolishly fallen deeply in love would carry the emotional scars for the rest of my miserable life on the run.
Jogging up the steps of my apartment building, I muttered, trying to convince myself, “Leaving is best for everyone.” I’d felt particularly uneasy at work today. It was like my instincts were on high alert, telling me that something was about to happen. So, I decided that disappearing before something did happen was best. After giving Lorie a cryptic message, which contained a low-key farewell, I’d left work with my mind made up to get out of Seattle. I’m going to miss Lorie. That was where my mind went before I caught movement in my periphery. Hand on the door, I glanced around, my heart in my mouth.
There was a car parked across the street and a man stood beside it with his hands in his pockets. He seemed to be staring right at me, but I couldn’t be sure. It was getting dark. I didn’t recognize him, but the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Was he sent by my father? If so, I’d been found. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead and a wave of nausea rolled through me.
Hands shaking, I pulled the door open and stepped inside. I peered over my shoulder through the glass door, expecting the strange man to move in my direction. But he got into his car and drove off. My breath escaped in a whoosh. Maybe the man was just going on about his business like everyone else, but he looked damned suspicious. I’d make sure I was long gone in the event he was on my father’s payroll sent to find me.
As I threw things into the one suitcase I’d decided to carry, my mind raced with what to do about Erik. Did I write him a letter? Call him when I was at a bus station in another state? I groaned in confusion. I felt sick about just leaving him without a word. “Why did I let things go so far with him? I’m such an idiot.” A weak idiot. Weak to Erik’s charms. I mentally berated myself as I packed.
The booming knock on my door made me shriek. The knock sounded angry if that were possible. My heart began to gallop. Surely if it were my father or whoever he’d sent after me, they wouldn’t knock. I was still frozen with fear until I heard, “Crystal, open the damned door before I kick it in!”
“Shit.” It was Erik, and he was pissed. No way could he know that I was planning to leave. I considered not opening the door, but the knocking continued. He’d disrupt the entire building and the last thing I wanted was attention. Making my way to the living room, I reluctantly opened the door.
He towered over me with a scowl, nostrils flaring and eyes dark with fury, yet the first thing he did was give me a once over and ask, “Are you okay?”
I nodded, unable to speak more because of guilt than anything else. Erik brushed past me, his eyes swiveling around the apartment. Then he marched to my bedroom. Crap. I followed and stopped with him at the door. I watched him stare at the open suitcase on the bed, watched his angry expression shatter until his features were twisted with hurt.
“I knew it,” he hissed.
“Erik, I can…” Alright, there was nothing to explain. The situation was exactly as it appeared. I was going to leave. “How did you know?”
“I didn’t. Not for sure. I was only alerted to the fact that you left my place. I suspected this was where you’d be.” He glanced at my suitcase again and snarled, “Getting ready to leave without a word.”
“I’m—”
“Sorry? Of course you are.”
Folding my arms defensively, I asked, “Did you have me followed?”
“No. But I made it known this evening that I was to be informed if you left. I was a bit paranoid after last night.”
My mouth fell open. “You had no right. I’m a grown woman. I can come and go as I please.”
The disappointed look he gave me made me want to sink into the floor and disappear from existence. “You can’t seriously be angry with me when you were the one getting ready to leave me.” His shoulders sagged. “I can’t believe you were really going to go through with it.”
I’d never felt such a potent dose of guilt in my life than in that moment. I’d hurt him and that look on his face would haunt me for the rest of my life, but I had to do whatever I must to keep him out of my criminally insane father’s path. So I took a deep breath and as much as it hurt, I attempted to push Erik further away. “What did you expect? You knew what this was from the beginning. What we had was just...a fling.” I wanted to die just uttering that lie.
He blinked. “Do you think you can push me away with lies? Nice try.”
Damn it. Time to change tactics. “I’m more trouble than I’m worth. You know I am.”
He sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose, appearing just as defeated as I felt. “I don’t know how to handle this,” he murmured. “I’ve never been in love with an infuriating woman who refuses to let me take care of her before. I’ve tried to be understanding, but you’re driving me crazy, woman!”
Wait. Did he just say...in love with? “I-in love with m-me?”
“Who else?” I seemed to have swallowed my tongue because I couldn’t say anything further. Erik looked skyward and groaned. “This is all wrong. When I said those words, there was supposed to be flowers or chocolates or whatever. A grand romantic gesture. This is far from romantic. I don’t do romantic. I’m terrible at this.”
I listened to his rant, in shock. Since I couldn’t find words, I flung myself at him, nearly sending us both to the floor. He regained his balance, arms wrapped around me as he gazed at me, stunned. Before he said another word, I cover his mouth with mine. I never thought I’d hear those words. Ever. I assumed I’d be moving from one place to another, never to make a real connection, never to find love. The truth was I had been determined to avoid the complication, but hearing Erik’s admission felt
incredible.
All of the fight left me. I didn’t want to argue. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to think about my father. I just wanted Erik and his love. Finally pulling away, I whispered, “This is the worst timing ever, but I don’t care about a grand romantic gesture. This is enough. I love you too. I fell too fast and too hard when I wasn’t supposed to, but right now I don’t care.”
Erik rested his forehead against mine. “Well, it’s settled, you can’t leave now.”
“Erik—”
“Don’t say it. If you say it's for my own good one more time, I’ll lose my shit. You staying is what’s best for me. If you leave, I’ll be right on your sweet tail and I’ll still be in danger. So, you might as well just stay.”
“You’re impossible,” I retorted, arms still wrapped around him.
“But you love me.”
I detected a hint of smug arrogance in his tone and couldn’t help chuckling.
His teasing grin appeared and quickly disappeared as he pulled out of my hold and took my hands in his. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate because I really did. I don’t know when it happened. Maybe it was when I told him my dark secret and he still wanted me or maybe it was because as much as I tried to push him away and treated him unfairly, he still stood firmly in my corner. Whatever the reason, I trusted him without a doubt.
“Then promise never to try leaving again.”
“I’ll promise to never try leaving without a word.”
“That’s not good enough. Tell me you won’t leave. If you trust me, you’ll stay with me and let me take care of you—of everything.”
I was confused about the everything part. As I gazed at him in askance, he gave no explanations. His expression gave nothing away either. “I didn’t want to leave, Erik, you have to know that. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make.”
“I believe you.” He tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear. “We’ll be okay, I promise.”