by Lyz Kelley
She ran across the open area toward Thad, stopped and turned. “Custer, come.”
The dog trotted up to her, watching her hands, waiting to claim the beef nugget as his prize.
“Sit.” She pulled out a treat. “Good boy.” She rubbed the slobber on her jeans. “He needs more practice with the command wait, and he’s reluctant to go into tight spaces.”
Thad handed Karly the clipboard. “Do you think he’ll still pass? I want you to get paid.”
“We...so we can get paid.” She studied the dog. “Do you think you can get him comfortable with the space issue in a couple days? I’ve already put off the Carsons once. They have an opening in their schedule, and want to retrieve Custer on Thursday.”
Custer waited patiently for instruction. “Honestly, I didn’t think he’d do as well as he did. Focusing on a couple of items shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I wish you would have more faith in yourself and your abilities.”
The confidence the Army had built brick by brick surfaced. “I have confidence in myself. It’s others I’m not so sure about.”
“That’s true. Look at me. I was the closest to you, and you still believed I’d do something to hurt you.”
“The military changed most of that. I learned to depend on others.” Thad took a step closer and brushed her bangs aside. “But, you’re the only one I learned to trust with my heart.”
“But never fully.” For a second there was a flicker of sadness. The need to let go of the pain. To be together without the push-pull. She leaned down to pet Custer. “What do you say we go for a run, big boy? There are a couple dogs next door who need some fresh air. Besides, a good run cleanses the soul.” She fluffed the dog’s ears. “I had dinner with my mother last night. You know how that goes.”
“Yes, I do.” He embraced the change of subject and transitioned his thoughts to Karly’s mother. He’d like to give Mrs. Krane a how-to book on motherhood. The only thing she understood was overbearing control—control that ground her children down until every ounce of confidence had disappeared, or the kid rebelled. Luckily, Karly had created a diamond-encrusted suit of defiance.
The tension in Karly’s shoulders and the shadows under her eyes supported his assessment that Mrs. Krane’s interference had taken its toll.
“Do you have anything to run in?” He pointed at her jeans and flip-flops.
She huffed a laugh. “Half my wardrobe’s here. I’m always here, and I need a change of clothes just about every day.”
“What are we waiting for? Dogs are fed and watered—no worries there. How’s your leg? Is it healing?” Thad bent his leg at the knee, stretching the thigh muscle. “Mine isn’t too bad today. I stretched it good this morning, so I should be good for five miles or so.”
“My leg’s fine. I should be able to keep up.”
“Let’s take it slow. We’re not in any rush, and it’s nice out.” And I want to spend as much time together as I can squeeze into the day. “Let’s problem-solve while we run. Between the two of us, we should be able to come up with an inexpensive way to secure your place better. I’ll get my backpack.”
Karly unlocked the front door to let Thad out. “Lock the door when you come back in, would you?”
“Sure. I’ll only be a minute.” She nodded and disappeared.
On his way back in, he spotted the office door ajar. Moving to close the door, he paused. Every male part went on high alert, the ooh-la-la kind of high alert.
Karly hadn’t gone to the bathroom to change. Nope. Through the crack in the door, he got a three-inch view from head to toe.
Well, lookie there.
He should change, but how does one take their eyes off perfection?
She had an efficient way about her that most days he appreciated, but not today. Today, he wanted to expand time. Her long legs slid easily into running shorts that ended mid-thigh. The tangerine-colored racer-back shirt slid down her torso. The tattoo on her leg again made him curious. A drunken indulgence, maybe? Twisting up her hair, she shoved the ends into the loop of a baseball cap and opened the door.
“Oh. Hi. The restroom is down the hall if you need to change.”
“I was just enjoying the view.”
A wave of red flushed her face. “It’s usually only Mara and me here, and she’s blind.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you before.” He glanced toward her thigh. The blue-gray design on her skin was now covered by black and neon green running strips. “I meant to ask you about the tattoo.”
“Oh, that?” She touched her leg just above where her shorts ended. “I got it in Vegas. A couple of us girls went there for my twenty-first birthday. It was supposed to be a crane standing on the back of a turtle, but it didn’t turn out the way I expected.”
A note of regret hummed through his cells. The memory of their milestone birthday plans played the sad tune. “We have a saying in the Army. A good tattoo ain’t cheap, and a cheap tattoo ain’t good.”
“That’s a good saying.” The blush gave way to relief.
She made him want her to uncover those bits voluntarily. The voluntarily part being the biggest obstacle. The anticipation was killing him. He opened the front door. “After you.”
“How come you only have the one on your arm? You talked about getting several.”
He took the leads of three of the five dogs, deliberately placing Custer in her group to see how he’d do. “I found an artist who could pull off one of those 3D tats. It would have covered my whole back, but we couldn’t get the drawing right, and pretty soon I was deployed again, and the timing never worked out.”
“What design were you working on?” She turned toward the trail next to the river, and the dogs, alert to her slightest move, automatically headed that direction.
He hesitated. His chest tightened and his mouth dried out, because she was the only person on the planet who might understand the imagery.
Letting her step into the dark room in his mind, the place where he hid his moody, imperfect images, wasn’t a good idea, but then again…
“It was a robotic skeleton, like the Borg in Star Trek, only the tattoo was a view from the inside, and it covered my whole back.”
She glanced his way. “I bet it’s like that drawing you did our senior year—that mechanical heart—with bits and pieces scattered across the bottom.” She reached out to touch his arm. “Do you still feel broken?”
Damn her. She wasn’t supposed to remember. She wasn’t supposed to be able to see inside him. “When you’re trained as a soldier, you’re trained to think, act, react in a certain way. Like a robot.”
She shook off his explanation. “But that’s not why you’re attracted to that drawing. You’ve always believed you were damaged in some way. I remember you saying you were expendable—that if you disappeared, no one would notice. But it’s not true.”
He gripped the leads tighter and pushed forward. Too bad he wasn’t running a marathon. He wanted to feel that burn—the pain of pushing past exhaustion. Damn it, he wanted to feel something besides inadequacy.
She caught up with him a half mile later. “What are you doing?” she demanded, trying to catch her breath. “Was that your idea of running away?” she puffed out.
He slowed to a trot, but didn’t dare look her way.
“Hey.” She gave him a nudge. “You can never run far enough to get away from yourself. Believe me, I’ve tried.” She allowed the dogs to fall into a pack.
He wanted to avoid the sympathy that was sure to come, but she surprised him.
She pulled at his arm to get him to stop, then tapped him on the chest. “You’ve spent years trying to convince everyone around you, even yourself, that you’re not worthy. I’m not exactly sure what you think you aren’t worthy of, but you’ve worked hard at it. Don’t you think it’s time you put all that effort into more positive pursuits?”
His heart picked up the pace. “Why do you care how I feel?” I need to know.
I don’t got a lot, since I don’t have you.
She could split his chest open easy enough. Then again, she was the only person who could figure out how to put the pieces back together again.
Chapter Ten
“You can cancel more classes if you feel the need, but I won’t send families away who want to adopt.” Karly huffed out the frustration, hitting Mara right between the eyes with her unintentional resentment. “It’s been two days since Thad found the back door left open, and everything seems back to normal.”
Karly tossed a bill onto the heaping pile of invoices she was struggling to pay. “Mara, I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated.”
Mara crossed her arms and leaned back in the office chair on the other side of Karly’s desk, if you could call it a desk. The work area was made out of a wood door and two filing cabinets, and the door handle hole held a plastic cup full of paperclips. Her jerry-rigged desk worked, but her jerry-rigged life didn’t.
“Joe is not just my husband, he’s the town sheriff. If he thinks we should cancel classes, we should at least give it some thought.”
“I know. I know. You’re right. I don’t mean to be defensive. It's just that Helper Shelter is my home. I built this place so I could feel good about my life—to be happy. Why would someone want to destroy that? There's nothing here for them to take except unwanted pets even I can’t find forever homes for.” She gulped down her frustration rather than bursting into tears. “And most of the time, we can't even give these precious critters away.”
Mara gently threaded her fingers through Buddy’s fur. “Joe asked me to cancel classes for a week or two.”
Karly’s gut seized with panic. Dog training classes brought in dearly-needed cash flow. Without the classes, she might as well just board up and lock the doors. She picked up a metal clip, squeezed it open and let it snap shut again and again and again.
“Do you think it’s truly necessary?” Karly asked with a hitch in her voice.
“I know we need the money. Honestly, I don't see the need to cancel classes.”
Karly blew out a relieved breath and let her clenched fist open.
“Besides,” Mara added. “I'm only here half an hour before the training classes start, and there's a ton of people around. I'm more worried about you coming in early, or staying late to feed the animals.”
“Oh, please, don’t say that out loud. My mother might hear you and be down here in a heart-pounding minute to put the first nail in the ‘out of business’ sign.”
“Thad seems to be coming around a lot lately. Maybe the two of you can work something out so you won’t need to be here alone.”
More Thad time—that's exactly what I don’t need. “Please don’t go there.”
“Why not? You said yourself he's good with the animals.”
Yes, but he’s not good for my heart. “That’s all I need. A testosterone-driven male running around with a loaded gun. I’ll see if I can change the schedule to make sure there are two people here at all times. I don’t have the funds to pay for help, so I’ll just have to get more volunteers.”
“Which reminds me.” Mara shifted uneasily. “Joe asked you to have Thad apply for a concealed weapon permit, or he'll have no choice but to charge him with a misdemeanor.”
“Me? Isn’t that his department’s job?” The whine in Karly’s voice was clear as glass, and she didn’t like the sound. In fact, she was feeling rather self-centered lately, and hated being needy.
“It was a rather odd request. Joey’s been rather preoccupied lately. Something is going on that he can’t talk about. Before we were married, he told me being a sheriff’s wife wouldn’t be easy sometimes, because there would be things he couldn’t discuss, but I didn’t know the secrecy would bother me as much as it does.”
“Is your sixth sense telling you something isn’t right?”
“Maybe.” Mara’s blindness had honed her instincts to a razor-sharp edge. Shaking her head, she signaled Buddy and got up to leave. “I’d better get out there and start teaching puppy basics.”
Her friend’s almost caustic expression made Karly chuckle. “Come on, at least the puppies are cute.”
“I can deal with puppies, it’s their parents I can do without. Buddy, let’s go train the humans how to manage their little ones.”
Karly cringed when Mara ran smack into the door. Her helper instinct escalated, but out of respect for her friend, she stayed in her chair. If she could find even half of Mara’s courage, she might just believe she could face any challenge life threw at her.
Karly’s cell phone rang. Noting the caller, the desire to let it roll to voice mail was tempting, but it would only ring in another fifteen minutes. “Hello, Mom,” she sighed.
“Karly, hun, I have the best news. I was talking to your brother this afternoon, and he told me there is an office manager position open at his company. You would be perfect for the job. Just think, you’d have insurance and benefits.”
Good thing she was already sitting down. “Mother. You’re meddling again.”
The same way Karly was meddling in Thad’s life. Oh, no. She rubbed her temples. I’m turning into my mother. That can’t happen. I won’t let it happen.
“Wait. There’s more.” Her mother’s trill of excitement wound Karly’s coil of self-berating resentment tighter. “Since Kevin’s roommate moved out, he’s been struggling to pay the rent. He said you could move in with him.”
I doubt it. He wouldn’t be struggling with rent if he didn’t eat out all the time, and go to bars twice a week. He would love to have a cook, a maid, and someone to help with rent. No, thanks.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to apply for a job in Denver and live with Kevin, the brother who tossed me down the stairs when I was nine and cracked my head open.”
“Oh, honey, that was so long ago. He’s changed a lot since then.”
Yes, he has. Now he’d do the job properly, and toss me out his twelfth-story window. She rubbed her head, cycling through and discarding a selection of sarcastic replies. None of them would get her mother to back off and let Karly live her life.
“Just in case, you should make an appointment to get your hair trimmed and highlighted.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said, hoping next week her mother would have forgotten all about the job in Denver, although the odds of her mother forgetting anything were not in her favor.
“You should look professional for your interview.”
If I go for an interview. “I’m set, Mom. I had my hair done yesterday.”
“Did you tell your stylist to cut it the way I recommended?”
“Sure did.” The dog shears worked great. If her mother only knew.
“Good. Well, I had better run, hun. I’m playing bridge with Vivian Newhall this afternoon.”
“Have fun playing cards.” She rolled her eyes, thinking her mother and Vivian were a perfect pair. The only problem was they both wanted to be the Queen of Diamonds. However, her mother never could see she held a losing hand. She hadn’t yet learned to avoid playing games with cardsharps.
She placed her phone on the desk, then brought up the schedule on her computer to calculate how many more boarders she needed to book in order to make the bank loan payment and the annual kennel license due at the end of the month.
She pulled at the pocket of her flannel shirt, to peek in at the sleeping gerbil who looked forward to a stint in Karly’s body-warmed pocket like a trip to a day spa. “Looks like I need to get my newsletter out. Generate some new business, or start panhandling for donations. What do you think?”
The gerbil stretched and yawned and curled into a tighter ball.
The face of pure bliss gave her a mome
nt of pleasure. “Okay. A newsletter it is.”
Propped against Karly’s office doorframe, Thad observed quietly. Her pouty frown contradicted her loveliness. She’d wound her hair in a ball and secured it with a pencil, exposing her long, kissable neck. The temptation to nibble and caress was almost overwhelming. He took a step into her office. “Talking to yourself again?”
“Do you enjoy sneaking up on me?” She saved her work and closed out the computer file. “Where’s Custer?”
“I’m giving him a day off. We went back to the park yesterday to practice. He did an excellent job dealing with the kids, swings, and slides. The kids wore him out.” Thad slid into the seat across from her.
“The Carsons will be here tomorrow to pick him up. Are you sure he’s ready?”
“Don’t look so worried. He’ll do fine.” At least I hope he will. “What has you looking like you just ripped the head off your favorite Beanie Baby? You still have that purple bear?”
“There’s a saying about old friends.”
“Keep them close?”
“No…don't make them your enemy. They know you too well.”
Damn, he loved her confidence. It was downright sexy.
Memories of their first kiss, of the first time he collected enough courage to tell her he loved her, of her face while they made love, came tumbling back. “Anything I can help with?”
“I’m updating my business plan. I have to figure out a way to increase my cash flow. The sheriff wants me to cancel some training classes, but I can’t do that and still pay the rent. I’m trying to figure out how to get in more donations, or get a grant.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Find me a bucket full of money?”