by Rose Harris
“It’s been fine.” Of course Ava would tell Roxi all about her trip, just not when the sleazebag was only inches away. She couldn’t wait to download all the sordid details of Bob only booking one room for their two-night stay and his ridiculous assumption she finally would be happy to share a bed with him. After she insisted he get another room the first night, he tightened the meeting schedule to cut the trip short. They had grabbed a late night flight, giving Ava the opportunity to spend a Sunday with her daughter.
“I called Mom, and Ashlyn will be staying with her again tonight. I’ll be quiet when I get there, and I’ll let you know all about Phoenix in the morning. Thanks for the heads up about your guest.” Ava hung up the phone before Roxi could question her further.
Ava put the mail back on the credenza, picked up her bag and headed toward her bedroom, the high heels forgotten. The late hour afforded her the privacy of being able to slip in unannounced and avoid the three-years-too-late-morning-after with Jace.
This weekend just gets better and better.
After two days with a demanding client and a handsy boss, the only thing Ava wanted to do more than see her daughter was get a hot shower, grab a glass of iced tea and go to sleep, in that order.
She headed straight into her room to change out of her wrinkled travel clothes. Ava dropped her bag on the floor and stripped. After she slipped on her plush robe over her bra and panties, Ava grabbed her standard pajamas, a T-shirt and shorts, out of the dresser. The need to wash away the horrible trip both physically and emotionally consumed her.
With the bathroom door closed, Ava turned on the faucet full force and stepped into the billowing steam that filled the shower stall, concentrating on not thinking about the man on her couch. That left her with thoughts of either her daughter or work. If she thought of her daughter, she would think of the man asleep down the hall, leaving work as a safe place.
The reality of all the long hours she was putting in at the law office made her doubt her abilities to keep up with her school schedule and still be a good mom. The worst part of her job was the time she was expected to stay away from Ashlyn. The pressure of late nights filled with homework was almost unbearable as it was. With the upcoming weeks of student-teacher classroom training, she just didn’t know how she was going to get through until the end of the semester. But if she passed all of the classes, she would graduate on time, and that would be a huge surprise for her parents.
An unplanned pregnancy, plus the change of her major from prelaw to early education in her sophomore year, meant Ava took extra classes during semesters and on her summer break to stay on track. She didn’t have the luxury of just adding an extra year to college for her bachelor’s degree like Roxi did. She had a daughter to support. The hot water melted away some of the worries and let her brain and body release the pent-up tension that always seemed to surround her.
Taking a deep breath, she let the steam clear her head. Before getting out of the shower, Ava acknowledged she worked so hard and took extra classes so she could provide Ashlyn with the same advantages she had had while growing up.
Dried off and pajamas on, Ava allowed herself to think of her baby, which in turn brought back the reality that Jace was only steps away.
She brushed her hair away from her face and wondered what Jace would do when he saw Ashlyn. Would he recognize her? The fact that he could find out he was Ashlyn’s father in such a harsh way worried her, but he was already here. It might just be her day of reckoning.
It had become a running joke about Ashlyn being a test tube baby. She looked like Ava’s clone until you took in her crystal blue eyes. Roxi shared the same shade and shape, and jokes had been made about Roxi donating part of her DNA. Ava would laugh at the jokes, while hiding the truth of Ashlyn’s paternity from everyone, including Roxi.
Whatever happened tomorrow morning, Ava knew she would receive the most precious gift when she picked up her daughter from her parents: unconditional love from her daughter. Nothing could be as wonderful as the first smile of the day, when Ashlyn’s chubby little arms circled around her neck, the warmth from her blankets on her body and the scent of lavender from her evening bath still lingering on her soft skin.
After tossing her dirty clothes into the hamper, Ava looked around her bedroom. The changes that had occurred over the last several years were astounding. Where posters of sexy firefighters or hot male models had covered her walls during her first year of college, now hung pictures of Ashlyn at different stages of her life. A quick scan of the walls and she stopped at her favorite photo of her daughter. The picture, taken when Ashlyn was about ten months old, showed her baby dressed in a Halloween costume. The grandparents thought it would be cute to get her a Tennessee Renegades cheerleading uniform. During a game, they sat her in front of the big screen television and took her picture. How ironic, a close-up of Jace was on the screen at the exact moment they snapped her picture.
The picture beside it, taken just a few months ago during the final game of their post-season, showed Ashlyn sitting between her grandfathers in full Renegades attire, rocking her blue and black jersey. The smile of her princess made all her hard work worth it.
The fatigue of the weekend was rapidly catching up with her, and after she pulled back the flowered comforter she had bought while still in high school, she slipped under the cool sheets. Before she rested her head on the pillow, she turned to the nightstand for her tea. She hadn’t made it to the kitchen. “Do I really want a drink?” Ava asked herself aloud. Yes, she thought to herself. The climb out of her comfortable bed almost made her change her mind, but she headed down the hall toward the kitchen anyway.
Exhaustion pulled at her itchy eyes, and dulled senses made the unexpectedly bright lights in the kitchen a shock. For a fleeting moment, she hoped it was Roxi up and not Jace.
Hands over her eyes gave her time to adjust to the light. Also it gave her a second to consider her options. She could either confront whoever was in the kitchen or go to bed thirsty. She would have to face the reality of Jace being in the house sooner rather than later. Decision made, Ava forged ahead as if she was about to walk to the guillotine.
As she turned into the kitchen, the sight of enticingly broad shoulders and a back that tapered down to thin hips made Ava’s heart stutter and her feet plant firmly on the worn linoleum. Thankfully, with his head in the refrigerator reaching for milk, he didn’t hear her entrance.
Over the last three years, Ava made it her policy to avoid Jace in person and had been successful until tonight. She would have thought his impact on her would diminish, but unfortunately, time stood still when it came to Jace Johnson. She would have recognized that back anywhere, and it reminded her of the night when she had been allowed to touch, lick and suck any part of him she wanted. The image of him now, unaware of her presence, gave her the upper hand to admire his well-toned body without being caught.
Jace had always been sexy in that pretty-boy way, but the man before her oozed sex with his low boxer briefs. Instant heat radiated through her body, and every part of her begged to walk up to him and cup his… Good God, what was she thinking?
That the man’s butt is tight, and my palms itch to cup it.
Most women never complained about their husband’s fascination with football, as long as the cameraman gave them a dose of tight silver pants to admire regularly during the game. The knowledge she had the right to walk up and hug this strong man caused her heart to ache for both the friendship they once shared and the one night of love that produced the daughter she cherished. Whom he knew nothing about. The secret she carried close to her heart would ruin him and his career.
Jace had struggled with his own paternity and the fact his biological father had walked out on his mother. His father had wanted to be a professional baseball player and didn’t want the hassle of children.
Ava had heard about this secret other father when Roxi told her when they were about eight. Jace was then in the fifth grade and had, in
anger, defied John Coolidge because he wasn’t his real dad. A family discussion followed, and Roxi was proud to tell Ava her family was special because her daddy had chosen to be Jace’s dad.
Ava knew Jace would never give up his child for a game, so she would never make him choose. Especially since he’d left her without a word that next morning. They were both consenting adults three years ago and had taken every precaution possible to avoid pregnancy, but God had a greater plan for her. Ashlyn was a gift. It would kill Ava to have her baby resented as a burden.
No matter how their one night had ended, Ava could never destroy his dreams in that way. He had never made a secret of his aversion to parenthood, and she would never set Ashlyn up to be rejected. She would keep her secret close to her heart.
She continued to watch him another moment before she realized he was about to drink out of the bottle. She cleared her throat just as he lifted the jug to his mouth. Milk sloshed down the front of him.
He spun around so quickly, he bumped into the refrigerator door and the ketchup bottle fell and hit his foot. “Damn it, Roxi, look at what you made me do.” He looked up with a glare that should have burned a hole through her. Ava watched as he froze in recognition.
She should have prepared herself for the fact she would be looking into her daughter’s eyes. Ashlyn, like Jace, had expressive blue eyes that could be warm, hard or, like his were right this moment, vibrant. She allowed Jace the moment to take her in just as she had him. When his piercing eyes finally met hers again, she was not prepared for the look of loss that reflected back at her.
A wave of emotions flashed across his face, and she felt woozy from the impact of his Caribbean blue eyes. She turned to leave before she embarrassed herself by doing something stupid like throwing herself into his arms. Escape proved not to be as easy as she thought.
“Ava, don’t go.” The huskiness of his voice made her turn to face him. His look of confusion made her pause. “I didn’t expect you to be home. Roxi told me you had a late flight, and she seemed to think you might stop off at your parents instead of coming home.”
There was no way she could bring Ashlyn into the conversation. Not yet. Once again, she turned to leave the kitchen.
Jace grabbed her arm and spun her around to look at him. “Ava, I don’t want things to be uncomfortable between us. I know you’re probably mad at me for the way things went the last time we saw each other.”
She wanted to say something intelligent, tell him they were old friends and always would be, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she bit back a laugh. “Do you realize when your boxers are wet, they’re practically see-through?”
Jace glanced down and shrugged his shoulders. “What’s a little spilled milk between friends?” With the flash of his devil-may-care grin, he showed the perfect white teeth Ava remembered had worn braces. “As far as the see-through part, you’ve seen everything, so no worries there.”
Ava felt herself blush at the memory of seeing him for the first time. She had tried to act sophisticated and brave, but when it came time to actually join their bodies, she had held him only inches from her and asked if he was sure he would fit. That had been the moment he realized she was a virgin. It had taken quite a bit of persuasion on her part to get him to continue.
I wonder what he will think if he knows he is still the only guy I’ve ever made love to.
As a single mother, Ava struggled in the dating scene. Between trying to spend time with Ashlyn, her commitment to finish school, and working what amounted to a full-time job, Ava just didn’t have time to devote to dating. Hell, when she did finally go out with a guy, once he found out she had a child, he would assume it was his signal to try to get into her pants.
Jace continued to stand with his hand on her arm. The possessive hold seemed to be some sort of assurance she wouldn’t run out on him. “I take it you didn’t come in here to welcome me home, so what has you up in the middle of the night?”
“Actually, I was just goin’ to bed, and I needed a drink. I figured you would be sleeping and I wasn’t goin’ to wake you.” Ava pulled her hair away from her neck with her free hand in an attempt to cool her body temperature. “I’m sorry for startling you. I hope your toe is okay.” Why, oh, why did he always make her nervous when he stared into her eyes like that? Didn’t he realize she babbled when she was nervous?
The sexy-as-sin smile he had developed when he was only a teenager still made her nipples hard. She was aware his gaze had dropped from her eyes to the front of her shirt, and she shivered. Then, as quickly as his gaze lowered, it was back to her eyes again. Had he even noticed her reaction to him?
As he continued to stare into her eyes, he tried to joke. “It’s okay. I have a little feeling back in my foot now.”
The laugh that escaped his lips sounded strained, and as she tried to read the signals that crossed his face, she was shocked when, with only the slightest tug, he pulled her into his strong chest for a hug.
This simple show of affection should have been friendly, but having been connected to him in the most elemental way, Ava fought to separate friendship from love. How can I still love him? The fact she’d given birth to a daughter he didn’t know about should have made this embrace uncomfortable, but being in his arms felt perfect.
Thoughts of Ashlyn made her pull away, but Jace seemed to have other plans. He kept her close for a few more seconds. The image of Ashlyn and Jace being in the same room together had panic vibrating throughout her body; she was afraid the similarities would be so painfully obvious to everyone. Then her world would fall apart.
Ava wasn’t sure what had him pushing her away, but she was grateful just the same. When Jace made another crack about being caught drinking from the milk jug, she noted the happy-go-lucky guy who had been with her only moments earlier disappeared.
The man who stood before her looked broken. The only other time Ava witnessed this lost look was when he’d shown up at her house three years earlier, looking for the quickest exit from his troubles. Ava watched him gather his emotions.
It was rare to see him break from his playboy smile when on camera or out in public, but seeing him in her house, his posture slouched, his smile hidden away—this was the real Jase. The Jase who chased her around the house with a bug or looked the other way when she sunbathed with his sister. The Jase who let her in for one night and held her tight until he snuck away
In an attempt to joke away the awkwardness, Jace slipped his hand down between them to make a show of covering himself. His body’s reaction to Ava left her oddly vindicated; she wasn’t the only one with memories.
Jace moved toward the door, stopped and smiled at her. “You know, I was nervous about seeing you again. The thought of how you would be with me after the last time we saw each other had me second-guessing my being here. It’s reassuring to know you’re not holding any grudges. You always were the sweetest girl I’ve ever known.” The smooth, cocky guy who had changed her world was back. “I didn’t want you to think I forgot. I can’t wait to meet your daughter. If she’s even half as pretty as you, she has to be the most beautiful little girl around.”
When Jace walked out of the room, Ava realized it was probably the hardest thing she had witnessed in the last three years. Ashlyn’s pink booster seat at the table was a visible sign of her deception. Why did that day of reckoning have to come today? Her emotions began to get the better of her.
The birth of her little girl was her greatest blessing, and the thought of watching her father walk past Ashlyn’s life, after being this close and never knowing the truth, would probably destroy a small part of her heart.
Ava could barely catch her breath as her body began to shake with the suppression of tears. She no longer felt the burn of want for a man but the fear of losing everything. Worse was the reality that she would watch Jace walk away again. In a quiet voice, she said to the empty doorway, “Actually she has her daddy’s eyes.”
With a wipe to brush away the t
ears that had silently begun to trickle down her cheeks, Ava left the kitchen, the drink that caused her midnight encounter forgotten.
****
In the family room, Jace lay down on the couch. The same couch on which he’d made love to Ava during the best night of his life. When she surprised him tonight in the kitchen, it was as if she were an illusion. He just about swallowed his tongue.
Damn. She was an awesome sight standing in the kitchen in an old football jersey. Actually, it was his old football jersey. He could still remember the day he gave it to her.
She and Roxi had been at his house washing Roxi’s new car, and he had been home from his freshman year of college with his friend Alex. Now his number one wide receiver and still his best friend, Alex had refused to stop making comments about the girls and their barely there bikinis. It was one thing for the girls to wear their bathing suits around when they were alone, but in front his horndog buddy made him crazy. Alex merely laughed at his annoyance. Finally, when Jace couldn’t take it anymore, he went up to the girls and demanded they go in the house and put on more clothing. Ava, being a smart-ass, agreed, but only if he gave her the shirt off his back.
Jace would have been willing to do anything to get her covered up and to get his friend to stop ogling her. He took off his shirt and gave it to her. Roxi just flat-out refused and had flirted with Alex for the rest of the weekend, just to spite him. It had been hard to watch his baby sister throw herself at his friend, while he secretly fantasized about Ava.
The idea Ava kept his ratty old jersey amazed him; the fact she filled it out so well was no surprise. She had put on a little weight since the last time he’d seen her, and her body was even better now. He’d heard she had a baby, a little girl, but they never seemed to be around when he came home on his rare visits. Her black hair was still long. His hands had itched to see if it still felt like silk.
Ironically, the breasts that had driven him crazy while a horny teenage boy still appeared luscious, but they couldn’t hold a candle to her legs. She had the type of legs a guy just wanted to have wrapped around him. With only a football jersey accentuating their length, it was as if God had sent him his own fantasy.