by Rose Harris
Jace watched his friend take a long pull of his beer.
Ashlyn is my daughter. “I can’t believe it. I mean I noticed something when I saw the two of us in the mirror the other night, but I guess I just didn’t want to accept it. When I look at her all I see is Ava, but she does look like me.” Jace sat dumbstruck for several moments.
Ironically, the panic and dread he felt finding out he could have a son was minor compared to the joy and excitement of discovering he had a daughter.
“I have to go home. I need to see my daughter. I have a daughter!” He yelled to the entire bar. “Next round is on me!” Tossing his credit card to Alex across the table, he stood to make his way out the door, stopping only to accept congratulatory slaps on the back.
The drive home gave him time to accept his newfound fatherhood and just enough time to plot his apology.
If only he hadn’t blown it with Ava, he would be welcomed home with a hug, kiss, and a “Daddy’s home.” He’d be lucky to not get shot when he walked through the door let alone a casual “hi.”
The picture that presented itself when he entered his home was eerie. The house looked perfect; nothing was out of place. The counters gleamed, and there were no fingerprints on the refrigerator. The housekeeper had come the day before, and only this morning he’d seen the telltale signs a toddler had invaded his home, but now it seemed immaculate.
The Escalade sat in the garage, proving they were there. Right? He’d noticed Ava’s car was leaking oil and had arranged for the repair the day before. The guy would have called him if he were going to return it. Wouldn’t he?
His chest ached. The pain that ripped through his heart felt so powerful his knees buckled at the thought that she could have left. Racing through the house and bounding up the stairs as if it were on fire, he hurtled himself into Ava’s room to find her curled up in her bed sleeping.
The relief that rushed through him actually took him to his knees, and he knelt beside her bed to absorb the reality of his feelings. He was madly in love with this hardheaded, obstinate woman with a heart of gold and puffy eyes. Brushing his fingers across her cheek and wiping a few strands of silky black hair off her porcelain skin, he whispered so he wouldn’t wake her. “Don’t waste tears on me. You and Ashlyn are everything I want and need. I love you both, and I promise to become the perfect father to our daughter.” Leaning forward and kissing the smooth skin that stretched across her slim shoulder, he stood and walked out with a purpose.
After peaking in on Ashlyn and ensuring her comfort, he caressed the head of this innocent child he’d created with his perfect woman and headed into his room to get some rest. He had a couple of big days coming up; he was going to meet his father and put an end to the doubts he had about himself.
You’re nothing like him. You’re nothing like him.
He repeated the phrase to himself until he fell asleep.
****
Thursday and Friday passed quickly and avoiding Jace was easier than she expected. She had to be at the school extra early to prepare for her day, and Jace got home so late from practice and meetings she was able to evade him completely.
Her parents had also called Thursday night about her new car. They asked her what color she wanted her new Honda Accord to be and if she had any specific features in mind. She told them she would meet up with them on Saturday and go to the dealership. Her old car would not take the commute back and forth from home to Nashville many more times before it died.
Ava resigned herself to having to ask Jace about her car, when it reappeared in the garage Friday with a new wash job and an engine that ran better than she remembered. She contemplated leaving a note to say she was going home for the weekend but opted against it. He’d made no effort to apologize after all.
When both Ava and Ashlyn got settled into her battered car, they hit the highway for the long ride home. She knew she should have thanked Jace for having work done on her car, but she still hadn’t come to terms with his insults.
Honestly, they almost overpowered the memory of their encounter. Monday seemed so long ago; the feeling of oneness with him had been so overwhelming she’d almost forgotten they hadn’t used protection. Luckily, for them both, Jace had kept his head and pulled out in time and she got her period that morning.
A quick peek at Ashlyn in the backseat proved she was out cold, her head bobbed with the road, and Ava thanked her lucky stars she hadn’t created another brother or sister for her.
I can barely keep up with everything now.
She turned the radio volume so she was able to listen to the Top 40 station without waking her daughter and danced to the beat of the music. The freedom she felt, having escaped Jace’s without confronting him, had her heart soaring. She planned to use the next two days to figure out what to do about the situation she’d put herself in.
Dreamlike images raced through her mind as she negotiated her way along the highway. She could picture Jace carrying Ashlyn on his shoulders and the way, with every giggle, his eyes lit up. He laughed even louder than Ashlyn.
Ava remembered his tender caresses when he’d pulled her from the pool and cradled her in his arms until she was able to stop coughing when she botched her rescue effort.
But the one thing that seemed to haunt her wasn’t a visual picture but the sound of his voice saying words he’d never actually spoken.
You and Ashlyn are everything I want and need. I love you both, and I promise to become the perfect father to our daughter.
The words might never have been uttered, but for some reason they ran like a subliminal message through her mind. Ava watched the red and white lights ahead of her on the highway and replayed the words.
It was funny, she felt more like she was paying a visit rather than returning home. The first thing she noticed when she pulled into her driveway was the front porch. The railings were all new and painted bright white. Common courtesy should have had her cutting off the high beams when Roxi came out on the porch to greet her, but the simple changes in her house caused a feeling of inadequacy to surface.
She and Roxi had agreed to make any repairs to the house together. They had always shared everything fifty-fifty, and with her unemployed, there was no way she would be able to afford to pay for half of the costs. When she had agreed to let Jace put the roof on, it had been hard, but the thought of summer storms, with their heavy rain, had had her sucking up her pride and agreeing. The sight of so many changes had her rethinking the intelligence of giving in to him. The recollection of his accusation she was using him sank deeper into her psyche.
Ava put the car in park and shut off the headlights. She took a moment to regroup. She wanted to enjoy being home, seeing her best friend and visiting her mother. She and Ashlyn would both sleep better in their own beds with their own things surrounding them and without Jace’s presence.
****
Sleep eluded her once she’d finally gotten Ashlyn settled. The mattress, which only a week earlier felt like a lush pillow filled with down and just the right size, now housed lumps and springs that poked sensitive skin and had her turning over cautiously. Tossing and turning trying to find a nook that would allow the Sandman entrance became harder with every passing minute.
Roxi had assumed she had come home for Mother’s Day; the fact she’d been able to ignore the upcoming holiday was proof of Jace’s ability to distract her from everything.
How can one man turn my world so upside down?
Images of Jace concentrating while he dissected game footage, the way he played Tickle Monster with Ashlyn, the way his eyes turned molten when he’d sneak a kiss from her and the way his shoulders seemed to shelter her from life caused her heart to soften to his tough guy act.
With an attempt to escape feelings that seemed to surround her, Ava allowed herself to relive the words that ruined any chance of a relationship. “You’re no better than that tramp…” The hatred in his voice sent chills down her spine still, and she pulled up the fleece
blanket that covered her bed. She’d never felt so small and scared as she had when he expressed his hatred.
Life was throwing her so many incomplete passes lately she had to take a step back and focus on what was really important. That was simple—Ashlyn. Working her butt off to finish school had been for Ashlyn. Hiding the truth of her paternity had been for Ashlyn. After all, she hadn’t wanted her daughter to be resented for messing up her father’s career. Now considering a possible job in a different city was for her daughter. Everything was for Ashlyn, but she’d made herself into a strong woman in the process. She had to remember Jace “Golden Boy” Johnson was not going to change her perception of herself, and she wouldn’t let his current idiotic ways change her perception of him.
Ava had watched him fight and struggle for everything he had in his professional life, and the fact was one woman was jeopardizing his golden life, not necessarily just his football career, but his public persona. The football hero young boys looked up to, the sexy jock who caught ladies’ attentions and kept them sitting beside their boyfriends on Sunday afternoons to catch glimpses of him in the huddle, all destroyed by one woman.
The fact of the matter was Felicia Frampton might not be trying to damage his creditability, but her actions and the fact she didn’t contact him before going to the courts didn’t bode well for her character. This mystery lady was single-handedly crushing a man who normally had ten guys watching his back for that elusive sack, and yet nobody could do anything about it, at least not until a paternity test was run.
As she drifted off to sleep, Ava pictured the laughing Jace, the one who found Adam Sandler hilarious, the man his parents bragged about at dinner parties, the man who had given her a precious daughter he didn’t even know about, the man who held her heart even when he was breaking it. When she entered dreamland, she went with dry eyes for the first time in days.
Chapter Twenty
Saturday morning rang bright and sunny, and Jace knew that it was going to be a great day. Roxi had called him late last night and told him Ava had come home. His initial reaction had been to follow her and apologize, but as much as he needed to speak to her and clear the air, he had a few things he had to finish up before he could be everything she needed him to be.
“You could always cancel and just release a statement,” his publicist Sandy murmured as she picked invisible lint from the shoulder of Jace’s sky blue polo shirt. Glancing down at her nimble fingers, he stopped her before she began to smooth wrinkles he’d made in his khakis on his ride to the hotel. He couldn’t believe it had only been a week since his last press conference.
When he dressed that morning, he’d known he’d be standing before a microphone that would let the public once again into his personal life, so he dressed the part of public figure, when he would have preferred jeans and T-shirt. The decision to make another statement was entirely his, much to his publicist’s aggravation.
“You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to throw myself under the bus. I just need to make sure there is no misunderstanding about the testing delays. Also I want to explain my purchase of the old elementary school and the youth center I am planning on opening there.”
“I could have released a statement and still be home with my son if that is all you wanted to do.” Sandy’s irritation was showing as she tossed shoulder-length curls away from her face. “You do understand everyone out there is expecting you to make some type of major announcement about the paternity, don’t you?”
Jace turned from her probing amber eyes and tried once again to explain his need to set a good example for young men who found themselves in similar situations, when a couple pushing a baby carriage while strolling along the sidewalk below caught his attention. “Do you see that guy walking with his family?”
Sandy stood beside him and looked down to catch a fleeting glimpse of the happy couple as they turned a corner. When she turned back, he knew she was confused; he did his best to explain his impromptu news conference.
“I want that. I want to be free to walk down the street with my family, push the stroller while my wife walks beside me hopefully with another baby in her belly. I need to clean my reputation up again, make a place in the world where my daughter and future children are proud to call me Dad.”
Jace looked out the window in the direction the anonymous family disappeared in. “This youth center will not change the world, but it will hopefully change the lives of a few young men and women and let them know someone cares about who and what they become. I want my kids to know my good fortune hasn’t been in vain or for notoriety, but for the opportunity to change someone else’s life.”
The minutes passed quickly, and when he had finished his explanation, she no longer seemed annoyed he’d dragged her away from her son on a Saturday morning, and with an affectionate sisterly hug, she sent him out to the couple dozen reporters waiting.
Jace stood before the group and cleared his throat to dislodge the nerves that reminded him of his first NFL appearance. He laid out the plan for his youth center that would be located in his former elementary school.
“We’re still in the beginning stages of planning but have already started lining up the appropriate counselors and coaches so we can have camps for children with a wide range of interests and capabilities. I’ve personally contacted representatives of the Special Olympics to arrange our own version of a Super Bowl to be held every spring. I’d also like to have a program that works with autism and children with sensory disorders.”
He answered each question. They ranged from the actual acquisition of the property, to possible shareholders, and other prospective programs he would institute and had him standing before the crowd of reporters for over an hour.
Leaving the hotel and heading to his Escalade that smelled of honeysuckle and lavender baby lotion, he stopped just long enough to change his clothes and take the long route to the diner he had agreed would be the meeting place with Cal.
****
As the air-conditioning blew cool air scented with Ava’s signature perfume, the fragrance helped alleviate the tension that had surrounded him since agreeing to the meeting. He hadn’t planned on setting it up, but the thought of this man going to the press and telling his version of his paternity and upsetting his mother sickened him.
The parking lot at the diner held only a handful of cars, and the lack of witnesses helped some of the tension dissipate. Jace’s casual jeans and T-shirt and his favorite pair of sneakers helped him feel relaxed. He slipped his Yankees hat on and kept his aviator glasses in place as he exited the car.
Nerves racked his very core when he entered the diner. He braced himself for the impact of meeting his biological father. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be that easy, the only people in the restaurant were two elderly men at the counter and a young couple snuggled against one another in a booth.
Jace found the perfect spot that would insure his ability to see Cal first. Slipping onto the vinyl bench seat that had seen one too many butts, based on the impression marks left in the cushion, he ordered a cup of coffee from a middle-aged waitress who reminded him of his English teacher in high school.
As Sheila, the waitress, placed his cup of coffee on the table beside a generous slice of pie, Jace chanced a small smile in thanks even though he didn’t order the pie. He took a sip of the best cup of Joe he’d ever had. Within five minutes, he had finished his coffee and devoured his pie even though he was pushing his nutrition plan to the limits lately.
Three cups of coffee and a pleasant conversation about the crazy old men who warmed the counter stools daily, Jace laid a twenty on the table and slid from the booth. After a quick farewell to Sheila for her wonderful service and telling her he didn’t expect any change, Jace turned and faced Cal Johnson for the first time.
There was no doubt this man shared his DNA. The man who stood not ten feet from him was the same height, had the same eyes and, ironically, the same colored shirt.
The ed
giness he felt earlier was nothing compared to the onslaught of anger and disappointment that surfaced when facing the man who had rejected him before he even had a chance to get to know him. Somehow talking on the phone allowed him the emotional distance he needed to deal with the hurt this man caused, hurt Jace hadn’t even realized he felt.
The hand that extended appeared to tremble. When he looked back at the man who should be familiar yet was a complete stranger, reality hit Jace. He didn’t have to set up an appointment to meet his father. The man who was his father was probably sitting in his recliner at home watching the press conference.
Jace ignored Cal’s hand and examined the man who was not his past, but his mother’s. This solidified any question he had about his ability to be a father. He was not like this man. He loved his family. The image of walking away from Ava and Ashlyn was physically and emotionally painful.
Sitting down at the booth for the next hour, Jace asked questions ranging from other siblings, to his paternal grandparents who’d been killed by a drunk driver while Cal was in high school, to why Cal left his only child behind. The last question went unanswered.
The air in the diner seemed thick as the meeting ended.
Jace sat forward in the booth and placed his hands on the table in a nonconfrontational manner. He accepted the inevitable. “Cal, I am not going to pretend to understand why you left, but I want you to understand why I am leaving now. I have one father and don’t need another. You made your decision to give up the rights to be that man a long time ago. For years I have questioned my ability to be a father and a man who can be trusted with the love of one woman.”
Jace let visions of horseplay with Ashlyn on the swing set he and Alex would build in his backyard and fantasies of pretending to chase her across the yard and splashing in the pool run through his mind. With a smile, Jace realized he was a dad in every way the man across from him had never been. “I may not be the man I’m meant to be yet, and I sure as hell am not the ‘Golden Boy’ the media portrays, but I do have a woman I love and a daughter who has me wrapped around her little finger.”