by Lisa Lace
"No," I could hear the pain in his voice as he tallied up another friend lost. "She didn't. She did it for him. And now she's gone. It's not fair."
"It is fair. She had to do it. And you're not to blame Dar, I know you can hear us." Mana said. She was defending me, as always. She beat up a lot of kids at school standing up for me. She was a powerful woman.
Jared sat down on the bench again with his face in his hands.
"I don't blame, Dar," came his muffled voice. "I blame myself."
There was no doubt he was crying behind his hands. I looked on in amazement as Mana put her arms around him, and he cried on her shoulder. I hope they'll be good for each other...
Then my smile dropped as I completed the thought.
...like Kenna and I were.
There was still no sign of Kenna.
* * *
"We have to go back to the city," Mana said, putting her hand on my shoulder. It was the sixth day, and everyone else had lost hope of Kenna ever returning.
"I know," I said. "I know. Just a couple more hours, Mana."
"Dar, man, you've got to give it up. It isn't healthy. We should go back to the palace. You can get cleaned up and have a decent meal." Jared said, trying to turn me away from where I was staring at the sand. I was willing her to appear.
"Yeah, okay," I said, not looking at them. "You guys take the first hovercraft, and I'll be right after you."
"You swear?" Mana said. "Dar, look at me."
I turned my head and tried to focus on her face.
"Do you swear you'll come back in a couple hours, no matter what?"
I nodded.
"I swear."
They looked at each other and then looked back at me.
"Okay. We'll see you there."
"Right," I said, looking back out at the sand.
I wasn't going to see them there.
If she didn't appear, I was going to kill myself because it was better than living without her.
Once the sound of their hovercraft had disappeared, I sank to the sand and took out my knife. I knew where to stab an artery that would empty all my blood on the sand in minutes.
The knife and I stared at each other as the sun glinted off the metal. As I looked at the blade longer, it seemed out of place. It asked me if I should contemplate taking my life. I knew I wouldn't be able to lose Kenna. Death was the way out of my pain, waiting to help me the moment I admitted that she was gone.
A low rumble came from the desert.
I blinked in surprise. Something was happening. Without warning, a sandstorm was coming up. I jumped to my feet, snapping the knife shut and shoving it back in my pocket.
Instinctively, I ran for the oasis. It was what I had been taught to do ever since I had learned to walk. The trees would protect me from the sand.
Then I realized that I didn't want to be protected, and I stopped. I walked back out into the sand, embracing nature's rage.
Sandstorms on my planet arise suddenly and without any warning. Many people caught outside an oasis during a sandstorm succumb within minutes.
That was what I wanted. I wouldn't need the knife. The sandstorm would do the deed for me.
I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. I could barely breathe. I filled with sand, and I felt nothing but happiness. I knew I would die out here in the desert with her. Soon we would be together again, and I wouldn't have to go through my whole life missing her.
I tried to draw another breath but inhaled sand. I tried again and lost consciousness.
KENNA
I must be dead.
That was my first conscious thought - I couldn't possibly have survived that sandstorm.
I had hoped that being dead would be pain-free. Apparently not.
Wait. If I'm in this much pain, maybe I'm not dead.
After what seemed like forever, I managed to get my eyes open. They were gritty, but they still worked. The two suns were just rising over the desert. With difficulty, I sat up and tried to remember what had happened.
I remembered Dar dropping me off to complete the ritual...
I had failed.
I remembered seeing Dar in his life with Salya.
The thought made me sick to my stomach, and the anger gave me the strength to stand.
No. I could not fail. It was up to me to save Dar. No one else could do it.
I began to walk but the pain in my leg made it difficult. I dragged my left leg and struggled on. I could see the oasis. It couldn't be that far, I just had to get there. I would not give up.
As I limped, keeping my eyes on the greenery ahead of me, I saw something stirring on the sand. As I approached, I realized it was a person.
I wondered why someone would be sleeping out here on the sand, instead of in a proper bed.
That's when I recognized it was Dar, and I started to run, hobbling as best I could.
DAR
I wasn't dead. As I tried to sit up, I heard my name being called. I pried open my eyes and saw a woman, her skirt in rags, hobbling towards me as fast as she could.
Then my eyes came into focus and I saw that it was Kenna.
She had made it.
My heart pounded. I got to my feet, fell and scrambled up again. I felt unsteady, but I moved towards her as quickly as I could.
I needed to feel her in my arms and know that she had come back to me.
"Dar," she said, falling towards me.
I tried to catch her but I was too weak, and we fell to the ground together, clinging to each other in a sandy embrace.
"Kenna," I said, covering her face with kisses.
I held her to me so tightly that she squirmed a bit, and I let up a little.
"I never thought I'd see you again," I said. "I had given up hope."
"Dar, I have to tell you something."
I searched her eyes, smoothing her messy hair out of her face. Sand covered her, and she had a black eye, but I felt that I had never seen a more beautiful woman in my life.
"You can tell me anything," I said.
"I love you so much." She put her head on my shoulder and started to cry. "I'm sorry I never told you before. I love you. I love you."
She kissed me.
"I love you."
She gazed at me in desperation.
"Do you hear me?" she said. "Please say I'm not too late."
"Too late?" I stared at her, not quite believing that she was finally saying it. "I would wait a lifetime to hear you say that if I had to," I said.
We kissed again, and it was different this time.
"Kenna, we have to get you to a doctor."
"No," she said. "The scarring. You have to scar me, Dar, or it will all have been for nothing."
"Kenna, I can't."
"You have to. Where's your pocket knife?" She reached into the pocket in my pants.
"It's not even sterilized," I protested.
"Just do it, Dar," she said. "We can clean it when we get back."
I pulled the knife reluctantly out of my pocket and unsheathed it.
She bared her hip, and we both stared.
A bright red wound in the shape of a triangle was on her pale white skin.
We stared at each other for a long moment.
"What the hell happened to you out there, Kenna?" I said, slowly putting my knife away.
"A lot," she said. "A ton. But we have a lifetime for me to tell you the whole story, Dar."
"You're right, my love. Because we're going to be together now." We stood up on wobbly legs and gazed at each other before we made our way towards the oasis.
Kenna smiled and nodded.
"Yes, Dar. We are going to be together now. Nothing and no one in the whole universe are going to keep us apart."
KENNA
I walked into the ballroom on Dar's arm and glanced nervously at my gown. It was a dark forest green and hugged my curves. There were oval panels cut out on the back, the front, and my left hip, displaying my newly healed triangular scar. I hoped the bruise on my cheek
had faded enough that people wouldn't notice it.
"Relax, you look beautiful," Dar said, surveying the crowd and not looking at me. "Especially your scar."
I looked down but couldn't see it without twisting my head around. I was so proud of that damned scar. I had almost died to get it, but when I looked at Dar, standing beside me so strong and healthy, I knew it had been worth it.
And he was so fucking handsome in his Susohnnan formal wear that I wanted to drag him back to our room and keep him in bed for the next day and a half.
We had spent a long time resting and healing, but we were both fully recovered now. The ball was to celebrate Mana and Jared getting the order of The Three for their courage in defeating the terrorist threat — or that's what the invitation had read, anyhow.
When Dar's mother heard that I had survived the ritual and was now Susohnnan, she left for their southern estate and hadn't been back since. But she couldn't ignore this. The terrorist problem had been a top priority of the Susohnnan government for years.
Dar sent a message saying that we had no hard feelings and were willing to forgive. He told her we wanted to see her, and it was partially correct.
To be honest, I wasn't sure if I had forgiven her for what she had done to me. Even more, I wasn't sure if I could forgive her for what she had done to Dar. The way she broke his heart might be irreparable. He had discovered a terrible truth about his mother.
But I WANTED to forgive her. I hoped that I would be able to soon.
I knew that holding a grudge only hurts the one who holds it. It only eats away at the one who has the anger and bitterness inside. I knew this intellectually but emotionally, I still couldn't let go of my resentment.
"Do you see her?" I said. We were about to descend from the lofty heights of a set of stairs into a sea of finely dressed bodies.
"No," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was sorry or relieved.
"What about Mana and Jared?"
"Funny how you say their names like they're a couple," Dar said, looking down and meeting my eyes.
"Not yet, maybe," I said. "But you wait. They're always together."
"She's my Senior Advisor, and I've just made him Head of Security. They are designing a new plan to keep Susohn safe. They have to work closely together."
"Yes," I said, grinning. "But the question is, how closely are they working together?"
"Hm," Dar said. "There they are."
"Together?" I said, gloating a little because I could see on his face that they were.
"Perhaps."
I lifted my eyebrows at him. His face broke into a smile, and he laughed aloud, drawing the attention of some dignitaries who smiled and made the sign of The Three.
"Come on," he said.
"Why aren't we making the sign of The Three back at them?" I whispered, still feeling out of my depth in Susohnnan protocol.
"The way they're using it now, is more like a hello and a head nod, but with respect."
"Oh," I said, wondering if I would ever figure it all out.
"You'll get it," Dar said, patting my hand as we came up to Mana and Jared.
Mana was smiling. She was smiling at something Jared had just said. I think I could count on one hand the number of times that I had seen her smile. She was wearing a black, shoulderless dress with panels cut out on the sides to reveal her smooth skin and narrow waist.
When she saw us, she automatically put on her business face. Jared saw it, and he frowned.
"Mana," Dar said and made the sign of The Three. He shook Jared's hand.
I hugged Jared and congratulated Mana. She wasn't the hugging sort, and she hadn't quite warmed up to me yet. Maybe she never would. Dar said she had always been straight-laced. She seemed to be letting her guard down with Jared, though.
Before we could get into a conversation, one of the servants came up to Dar and whispered in his ear. I saw an expression of shock before he smoothed it out into a kingly stoic expression.
"What is it?" I said. Mana and Jared were watching him too.
"My mother's here."
"The mother that had you arrested and tried to kill you?" Jared said.
"That's the one," Dar said.
Mana looked sympathetically at Dar. Then she elbowed Jared in the ribs unobtrusively, so that no one in our vicinity noticed, but hard enough to make him bend over a bit. She gave him a frown, but all he did was grin and rub his side.
"Come on," Dar said to me. "We'll see you two later."
And with that, we headed towards a private room that adjoined the ballroom, where the former queen was waiting for us.
Now that the moment was upon me, my stomach was twisted into knots. I knew I had to get over my fear of her and my anger, but I just didn't know how.
We entered the room and everything was deathly quiet.
Dar swallowed.
"Hello, Mother."
She looked at us, and I saw different emotions play across her face. Displeasure — at seeing us still together. Sorrow? Resolve? Then she brought her features under control. We moved towards her.
"Darvish," she said. "You're looking well."
"No thanks to you," I said. I was surprised to hear the words coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't restrain myself. "It took him two weeks to recover from dehydration caused by your little scheme. He almost suffocated in that sandstorm."
"Kenna," Dar said.
"What, Dar?" I said, turning to look at him. "We didn't come here for small talk. Please get to the point, your majesty."
I looked back at Dar's mother, and she had a surprised look in her eyes.
"What?" I said, taken aback by her expression. It was not hostile, as I had expected but...admiring?
"You've changed, young one."
"Yes, I have." I said, shortly. "I've heard the ritual does that to people."
She was looking at me in confusion and amazement.
"You remind me of myself when I was younger," she said.
That had been unexpected.
"Mother?" Dar said, unsure whether she was joking or not. But she didn't look like she was joking.
"And you completed the ritual?" she was speaking only to me now.
I pointed to the scar on my hip.
"And how did you find it? Was it difficult?"
"Beyond belief," I said. "I visited Dar ten years from now and he married Salya. They had a daughter named Kenna."
The old lady cackled.
"My son has never been the best at relationships. Was he happy?" she asked.
I shook my head.
"No. He told me he had never stopped loving me."
The queen stared at me.
"It must have been a hallucination."
"Your plan would have made me miserable, mother."
She looked back and forth between us.
"I wanted what was best for you, Darvish," she said. "I never thought that a human..."
"Mother," he said, in a warning tone. "She is my sheeranla. You will be respectful."
She was shocked.
"Your soul mate? Your chosen one? You're calling this female your sheeranla?"
So that's what it meant. I smiled a little.
"I am surprised," his mother said. "But you will do me the courtesy of letting me finish."
He nodded again.
"I never thought that a human would be what was best for you. But I think that I may have been incorrect."
Dar froze. His mother was apologizing and admitting that she was wrong?
"I didn't see how what you said could be true. That humans were as noble as Susohnnan. But what this female did for you, seeing you like that, must have been hell." She glanced at me, and I nodded. "And whatever else she had to go through to get her scar was just as difficult."
"A person doesn't go through something like that for someone unless they care. Unless they love them more than they love their life."
She turned to me and I held my breath.
"I know it's not offic
ial yet, Kenna, but...welcome to the family."
My mouth dropped open. She meant it.
"You're one of the finest Susohnnan I know. I trust that you'll take good care of my son's heart."
"I will madam. I will."
I bent then and kissed her cheek.
"Mother," Dar said, with a tremor in his voice. He knelt at his mother's knees and wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back, and there were tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry for what I did, Dar. Can you ever forgive me?" she said.
"Mama…" he said. "I already have."
* * *
We were finally alone.
"I have been waiting to peel this off of you all night," Dar said as he knelt down and wiggled the tight dress down my legs. We had been making out on the couch for nearly an hour, but he was getting frustrated now, so the dress was coming off.
Underneath, I was wearing nothing but some green lacy undergarments. They were a far cry from the white cotton bra and undies that he had first taken off me when we had met on Dobu. And I was nothing like the woman he had seduced that night. It seemed so long ago because of everything that had happened, and I could hardly believe that had been me.
I shivered.
"Dar," I said, filled with desire. "Please."
He was kneeling, and he had a serious look in his eyes. He didn't answer me.
"Dar?" I looked down at him, confused.
"This is the first time we've made love since the ritual," he told me.
"Yeah, I know. I'm dying for it. Please. Why are you stopping?"
"Because there's something I need to do before we begin," he said.
I bit my lip.
Oh. Right.
I turned to the right and heard him sigh at the sight of my scar.
He traced it lightly with his finger.
"I will never forget what you did to save me, Kenna," he said softly. "To save us."
I held my breath as his lips moved over the sensitive skin. He looked up at me, and I saw such love there that I felt a lump in my throat.
"I love you, Kenna," he said. He pressed his lips to my scar.
The kiss shot a jolt of lightning through my body and straight to my core. My hips bucked. I had never felt anything like this before. I felt my nipples tighten, and I moaned.
"Holy shit," I said a little breathless. "If I had known having my scar kissed was going to feel like that, I would have done this a long time ago."