If Only

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If Only Page 11

by Yvonne Beattie


  After we have been fitted for ski boots and skis, the others say their goodbyes as I’m guided towards the ski school. On my own again and feeling rather childish as I realise most of the others in my class are younger than me. Much, much, younger than me. Thankfully, as I turn around I see a couple that look to be around my parents age, and although it’s silly, I feel thankful. We are then split into three separate smaller groups, I’m put with the older couple, and we are told to wait for our instructors. Everyone makes small talk for a few minutes and I take the opportunity to further zip up my jacket and fix my snood and gloves. A girl finally comes and guides us outside towards an area cordoned off for lessons. I look up the mountain and see lots of tiny dots of varying colours flying down the mountainside confidently. I’ve no idea where the others may be, hopefully having more fun than me right now.

  “Right guys,” an Australian ski instructor has caught our attention and starts dishing out orders on where we should stand, how we should stand and how we should walk in our skis. It’s easier said than done, but we all try walking sideways and thankfully no one falls. I can’t help but wonder where he learned to ski Down Under.

  The first thirty minutes of the lesson go by in a flash, I find I am actually really enjoying it, as it would appear is everyone else in my group. The lesson is finished off by us all going down a small slope and stopping ourselves at the bottom by making a ‘V’ shape with our skis in front of us. Bex was right, it’s just like riding a bike. I wouldn’t say I am confident, but I amazingly do remember the basics and with a little bit of practice, I think I’ll be ok.

  Once we are dismissed from class, we all head as a group over to the ski lift. We follow the green slopes signs and one by one we all go off in our various directions down the hill, some faster than others, but I try to take heed to what we were taught and I zigzag carefully down the slope, watching what I am doing and meandering in and around the other skiers. At the bottom, I head back for the ski lift and do it all over again. By about my tenth shot, I am literally having a blast. I’m still on my own, I haven’t given the others a single thought, and I’m flying down the slopes feeling my hair flying behind me and grinning from ear to ear. Screw the zigzagging, on my last run I bend my knees and go for it, straight down. Eddie the Eagle ain’t got nothing on me. It was amazing. I am amazing. I am ‘at one’ with the ski slope. I can’t wait to come skiing again soon.

  At the bottom, I pull my snood off and fan myself with it happily, I’ve worked up quite a sweat and am famished. My watch reads nearly one o’clock in the afternoon, so I figure the others must be around here somewhere.

  “Rachel?”

  I turn as I hear someone say my name and see a guy that looks like Marty skiing toward me with a red jacket on.

  As he reaches me, I am delighted to see that it is, indeed, Marty. I should’ve known he’d be here. Of course, he’d be here!

  “Hey,” he beams at me and leans over to kiss my cold cheek.

  “Hey,” I can’t help but flutter my eyelashes and grin right back at him. Today is a very good day indeed.

  “You did amazing out there,” he compliments me and nudges my elbow.

  “You saw me?” I ask, silently delighted as I know I did pretty well for a beginner.

  “Yeah, I saw Joel and your other friends as they were heading up the red slopes a while ago. I was paroling up there. I said I’d come and look for you down here when my shift swapped.”

  “Let me guess? You are helping someone here too?” I raise my eyebrows and he grins.

  “No, well yes, this is my actual job. Technically, I ‘help’ people all the time, but this is what I do in the winter months for the moment. I’m a paramedic,” he says while watching the skiers and snowboarders coming down the green run.

  “A paramedic?” I ask sounding maybe a little too surprised.

  “Yes, does that surprise you?” he gives a small smile and looks at me.

  “Oh, no, of course not. Well, actually, yes. I didn’t know that’s what you did,” I shrug. “We never talked about our jobs. Bex was giving me the Spanish Inquisition earlier on you.”

  He raises his eyebrows, “Well, now you know what I do.”

  “So, maybe I should pretend to be a damsel in distress and have you come save me?” I pout and give him my big-eyed doleful look.

  “Please don’t,” he rolls his eyes playfully. “We’ve had a few of those from needy women, and it never ends well. Most of the time their husbands are up on the more difficult slopes, and they just want attention. It’s cringe-able. And anyway, you already have my attention,” he wiggles his eyebrows at me.

  I can’t help but laugh, “I was only joking. I don’t think I could pretend anything on skis anyway, that’s just far too much like hard work. Anyway, I am seriously starving. I don’t know what it is about all this fresh mountain air, I’ve done nothing but eat since we arrived here. I need to go and get some food. What time do you finish?”

  “Not until around four I’m afraid. The slopes close at dusk, around three o’clock but we have to wait for them to clear and then get everything sorted for tomorrow.”

  “But tomorrow is Christmas Day,” I blurt out, surprised. I’m not sure why, we have no plans to see each other, but I think I’ve subconsciously been living in hope that I’d see him at some point throughout the day.

  “It will also be one of our busiest days,” he replies.

  “Really?” I ask, disappointed he has to work and he nods. “Some people are hardcore.”

  He laughs, “Yeah, it’s what they love. To be honest, it’s what I love too. We are splitting our shifts though, so it’s not all bad, I’ll be done by eleven so I’ll at least get Christmas dinner.”

  “What do you normally do on Christmas day?” I ask.

  “I spend it at home with the family,” he replies paying more attention to the slopes than me. “What about you?”

  “I normally go to my parents house too, but they are in Spain this year. They retired last year and bought a holiday home there, they’ve spent more time there than at home since they bought it, but they love it and I’m happy for them. It’s like a project, I think. They’ve been redecorating and getting it sorted to their liking. They wanted me to go over with them for the holidays, but I’d already agreed to come up here with the guys, so it’s a weird one, to be honest,” it’s the first time I’ve thought about it and I find I’m feeling very nostalgic. It really won’t feel the same this year.

  “That sounds nice, have you been over to visit them at all?” he asks.

  “No, I plan on going over at Easter, it should be a bit warmer by then,” I tell him. I’m looking forward to it.

  “And what about tomorrow then? What will you guys do? Will you cook?” he looks at me inquisitively.

  “No, Bex said she booked a restaurant for us to go to. I’m sure it will be nice,” I shrug. It’s not really how I envisaged spending Christmas day, but it’ll be nice, I’m sure.

  “Hmm, I’m sure it will be, but it’s not quite the same is it?” he studies me.

  “No, it’s not,” I admit. “It’s fine though, and we’ll make it fun. Will I see you tomorrow night, maybe?” I look up at him hopefully.

  “Definitely,” he snaps his attention right back to me. “Most definitely.”

  Chapter 17

  As I sit down and disrobe out of my many layers, I tuck hungrily into my Panini. Skiing sure works up an appetite. It’s been great fun, but I think I’ve had enough for my first day. As I finish my lunch, I sit back and watch all the other skiers and tourists milling around. There are children everywhere now and it is noticeably much busier than a couple of days ago. Christmas music is playing which I can just about hear over the top of the restaurant hustle and bustle, and I smile to myself, as I look at all the Christmas decorations.

  I can’t help but wonder about Malcolm and what he is up to over the holidays. This time last year our relationship was really just getting going, albeit slow
ly. God knows, in sloth terms. I never in a million years expected the whole year with him to end in such an anticlimax. I almost laugh out loud at the irony.

  There is no sign of the others, so I grab all my gear and head back to the gift shop for another look. I need another book to read seeing as I finished that one I gave to Maggie much quicker than I anticipated. I don’t get much time for reading at home and it usually takes me weeks to finish a novel. I don’t suppose I expected to have so much down time, but we’ve got another week to go and although I’m sure I will come skiing again, I won’t be coming everyday, which I’m sure is in contrast to the others. I know everyone downloads books electronically these days, but I’m an old fashioned kinda gal, I still like a proper book to hold on to and to be able to turn the physical pages, to flick back and forth when need be, and I know it’s weird, but I love the smell of the pages.

  After I’ve literally whiled the afternoon away and already read more than half of the book I bought, there is still no sign of the guys anywhere. I look out of the window to try and locate Joel’s car in the car park, but I’m pretty high up and I didn’t really pay much attention to where we parked. It’s also started snowing again and although some of the car park has emptied out now, most of the cars look like giant white mounds.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I turn around to follow the word and see Simon trudging along red in the face and looking thoroughly peeved.

  “Simon,” I motion to him as he turns to the sound of his name. “Where have you guys been?”

  He stops and looks at me as though I’ve just told him he’s been castrated.

  “What’s up?” I feel my stomach drop and stand up as he finally walks over to me.

  “Fuck sake, Rach. Where the fuck have you been all day?” he flops down into the chair beside mine.

  “It’s well seeing Bex isn’t close by,” I remark at his swearing. “I was skiing and then came in here to wait for you guys, like we agreed to do earlier. Marty said he saw you all up on one of the red slopes and he came to say ‘hi’ to me when his shift changed. I’ve been sitting in here wondering when, or even if, you lot were ever going to show. Um, is everything ok? Where are Bex and Joel anyway?” I’m whittling on yet I know something isn’t right.

  “Bex took a fall,” he takes a breath and I lose mine.

  “What? Is she ok?” I almost stammer as I look at him more closely.

  “She had to be stretchered down to base. It’s her leg she hurt and they’ve taken her to the hospital. I was going to go with her but someone needed to find you, and Joel needed to be with her so he could call their parents. Only one person could go in the ambulance,” he shakes his head and it’s only then that I realise how much his hands are shaking.

  “Ambulance? Oh, shit. So are we going to meet them at the hospital?” I ask trying to be patient, but just wanting to get going already.

  “Yes, well that is where we have a problem,” he drums his fingers on the table very lightly. “It was all so rushed, and Joel has his car keys on him. So we are sort of stranded up here.”

  “Oh,” I sit back in my chair for a moment to think.

  “It’s snowing non stop out there, I doubt we will get a taxi to pick us up from up here, but maybe we could try calling,” he starts looking around the restaurant for some reason.

  “Simon, hold on for a second, ok?” I stand up and go over to the food counter.

  I grab a chocolate bar for Simon and then a pre-packed sandwich and juice, and I ask the girl serving me if there is any chance that someone could get hold of Marty for me. She looks doubtful but tells me to wait a few minutes until she gets hold of her manager.

  “Here, Simon. You’re shaking so badly, I think you need to eat something,” I put the food on the table for him and watch as he tries but fails to open the chocolate bar.

  I take it from him and open it quickly before handing it back to him and he eats it in two bites.

  “Are you alright?” I ask him and put my arm around his shoulders.

  He takes a moment to swallow, drinks some of his juice and sits back but cradles his head in his hands. And it’s only then, that I realise he is actually crying.

  “Oh, gosh, Simon…” I have no idea what to say or do.

  I pull back and just give him a moment to console himself. He is always such the hard man, I’ve never, in the time I’ve known him, seen him emotional ever, and although we are friends, we aren’t close, so this is all a bit awkward, to say the least.

  He roughly rubs his hands over his eyes and mans up quickly.

  “Oh man, I’m sorry, Rach,” he mumbles as he pulls himself back together.

  “Don’t be silly,” I pat his back awkwardly, still unsure of what to do. I feel incredibly silly, but I’m no use with things like this. “Are you ok?”

  “Yeah, it was… it was just a bit overwhelming. I love that girl so much, and there was nothing I could do to help her, Rach. I honestly didn’t have a clue and she was crying and couldn’t get up. Then she vomited, and was so out of it. It felt like forever until I found someone to help us, and the medics were great, don’t get me wrong, but I just wish I could have been more useful. We need to get to the hospital,” he manages to open his sandwich and basically inhales it.

  “Thanks for the food, I haven’t eaten anything since this morning and I guess between skiing and the shock of it all, it caught up with me,” he glances up at me and the worry is etched across his face.

  “Don’t worry, it’ll all be fine. I’ve asked the girl that served me to find out how we can get hold of Marty. He works here, and I wonder if he might give us a lift into town at least,” I look back over to the counter but the girl is still on the phone.

  “Oh, Marty went to the hospital with them,” Simon adds looking up at me. “He jumped in his car and followed the ambulance down the mountain.”

  “Oh,” I sit back down in my chair. “Oh… well, in that case, I have no idea how the hell we will get back into town. I think we’ll have to at least try and call for a taxi. It’s too far and too dangerous more to the point, to even try and walk.”

  Simon grunts. Not at all helpful.

  “Excuse me,” the girl behind the counter waves at me to go back over to her. “Right, I spoke to my manager and he called Dr. Fuller on his mobile. He is at the hospital with your friends, would that be right?”

  “Eh, wait, who is Dr. Fuller?” I ask her inquisitively.

  “Marty? That is who you’re looking for, right?” she frowns at me.

  “Yes, Marty, the paramedic,” I correct her.

  “Right, ok, well, whatever. He is at the hospital and he has arranged for someone to come and pick you guys up. He said they will pick up your car later, or something, but if you two can sit here for another thirty minutes or so, someone will be here for you,” she smiles reassuringly, pleased with her problem solving. “Do you want a drink while you wait?”

  “No. Thank you,” I ponder for a moment. “Thanks for your help. Should we head back down the mountain to wait at the check-in desk?”

  “It’s up to you,” she shrugs. “If you go down though, let me know so that I can let the guys down there know where you are.”

  “OK, please tell them we are on our way down. No point on wasting our time up here and prolonging our trip to the hospital. Did he say who is picking us up?” I ask.

  “Sorry, I don’t know,” she smiles sympathetically. “I hope your friend is ok.”

  “Thanks,” I give her a grateful look and then grab Simon and our pile of clothes, and we head back down the mountain.

  Chapter 18

  “Thank you so much for picking us up, Deb,” I gratefully thank Marty’s mum who came to collect us in her big Range Rover.

  “No worries, I hope your friend is ok,” she looks at me quickly before turning her eyes back to the snow-covered road.

  “Yeah, me too,” I nod.

  “Me three,” Simon pipes up from the back seat.

 
; “She’s in good hands, I’m sure they’ll have her fixed up in no time,” Deb replies optimistically.

  “I hope so. I can’t believe this is how we are spending Christmas Eve,” I look miserably out of the window. We should be back at the chalet by now, having a drink and kicking back.

  It’s getting dark as dusk falls and I notice that Deb is taking it very cautiously down the curvy single-track road. The windscreen wipers are on double time, as the snow seems to be getting heavier, like it’s making up for lost time.

  “Don’t worry,” Deb picks up on my uneasiness. “I’ve driven these roads everyday from the day I learned how to drive.”

  I’m too nervous to reply and carry on looking out of the window.

  “I wish someone would call or send us a message,” Simon voices his thought.

  “I know, I keep checking my phone but I have no signal, still,” I add.

  “It can be sporadic up here,” Deb says. “We’ll be at the hospital soon.”

  Somehow we make it to the hospital in about twenty-five minutes. I am so very glad I didn’t have to drive, and I’m even more thankful to have had someone that knows the roads well to drive us there.

  “Thank you so much,” I watch as Deb parks up.

  “You’re very welcome, come on. I’m coming in with you to see how things are. I work here, so I’ll maybe get some answers a little quicker than you guys,” she hops down out of the car and we follow suit, running carefully through the drifting snow.

  “Thank the lord you guys made it,” Joel sees us as soon as we walk through the doors. “My phone went dead,” he looks seriously stressed out.

  “That explains that one, then,” I hear Simon mumble. “How is she?” he asks with big worried eyes.

  “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to get hold of someone, anyone, but it’s not that easy,” Joel marches back and forth impatiently.

  “Sit down, you lot. I’ll go and see how she is, give me a few minutes, ok?” Deb takes control and somehow we all do as we are told and sit down.

 

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