My stomach told me I’d been ready to eat for the past hour, but soothing Chelsea was more important to me than food.
I cut through the crowd, making my way down the dark narrow hallway to Billy’s office. He’d said he had to leave after our meeting, so if anyone was in there, I assumed it would be Chelsea. I tapped my knuckles on the door and pressed my ear to it when no one responded. I heard the tap of what sounded like boots against the wood floor, so I slowly turned the knob.
“Hey,” I said.
She treated me to the same contemptuous look she’d given her friend. “Did she send you back here to calm me down? Well, it won’t work! She’s gone too far! How dare she bring him into this?”
“Who are we talking about?” I was so clueless I felt I wouldn’t be able to piece this puzzle together even with a color picture.
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” Her shoulders slumped as she leaned into the desk. “I’m sorry Daphne dragged you into this. I think she’s getting tired of looking out for me. She wants someone to share the burden with, even though I keep telling her I can look after myself. I don’t need her or anyone else to—”
“Everyone needs someone.” I sat beside her on the edge of the desk, shoulder-to-shoulder. This was the first time I’d touched anything more than her hand, and I wasn’t surprised to feel energy buzzing through me like I was being electrocuted or something. This girl did things to me. Crazy, scary things.
“Even you,” I added.
“No, I don’t.” She sniffled before clearing her throat. “I don’t need anyone.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes, her lost in her thoughts and me wondering how I could help her. But instead of feeling awkward, it already felt comfortable.
She shocked me by resting her head on my shoulder. “I get tired sometimes though. I miss having someone to hold me.”
I didn’t need to be hit over the head to get the message. I wound my arm around her, smiling when she sighed and moved closer. “Anytime you need a hug, I’m here.” My free hand curled around her face, feeling the brush of her long lashes against her cheek when she closed her eyes.
“Thanks.”
“You want to move this over there?” I asked, gesturing with my chin to a small two-seater sofa in the corner of the cluttered office.
She laughed softly. “Are you proposing a cuddle date, Darius?”
A cuddle date? I liked the sound of that, though I couldn’t remember the last time I’d held a woman without the expectation of it turning into more. But with Chelsea, my thoughts didn’t even go there. As much as she turned me on, I’d never met anyone in greater need of a strong shoulder to lean on.
“Sure. Why not?” I said.
“I thought you were hungry?”
“Maybe we could ask them to bring our food back here in a bit?”
“Okay.” She took my hand and led me across the small room. Once she was seated, she looked at me with a shy smile, patting the worn seat cushion beside her. “I just have one request.”
“Anything.” She looked so tired, as though it was taking everything in her to continue the fight, and I would have done almost anything to relieve her of some of that burden, even if it was only for a little while.
“No more heavy conversation tonight?”
“Done.”
Chapter Four
Chelsea
I couldn’t believe how much fun it was, just talking to Darius. We’d both cleaned our plates, and when we found out we shared a love of classic rock, he found an old radio Billy kept in his office and tuned it to a station that played songs neither of us had heard in years but had vowed we’d never forget.
It was nice and easy, but that didn’t mean attraction wasn’t simmering just below the surface. Like when he removed a streak of barbeque sauce from the corner of my mouth with his thumb and his eyes lingered on the spot long enough to make my heart beat hard and fast in anticipation of his kiss. But he hadn’t kissed me. He was the perfect gentleman all evening, and I had mixed feelings about that. Of course I was relieved he hadn’t put me in an awkward position by trying something, but I was also a little disappointed.
“So a guy like you must have had hundreds of girlfriends, huh?” I asked, setting my empty plate on the floor. “Ever had your heart broken?”
“Of course. Everyone’s had their heart broken a few times, haven’t they?”
I’d only had my heart broken once. The only time I’d ever let myself fall in love. After that experience, I’d vowed to never let it happen again.
“I guess so.” I curled my legs into my chest as I faced him, wrapping my arms around my knees. “Tell me about your worst heartbreak.” Asking him about his when I wasn’t willing to share mine wasn’t fair, but I didn’t think he had the hang-ups I did.
“We lived together for six months. I came home early from a business trip and found her in bed with another guy. Apparently she’d met him at a club that night. Had too much to drink and brought him home. To our home. Slept with him in our bed.”
I sucked in a breath. “Ouch, I’m sorry I asked.”
“Don’t be. I don’t mind talking about it.”
He was a hell of a lot braver than I was. I would have buried that one deep, along with the rest of my skeletons. “So what’d you do?”
“Kicked her out of my house, changed the locks, and donated the bed and bedding to charity.”
I couldn’t help laughing, but I clamped my hand over my mouth when I realized it wasn’t funny, just absurd to think that anyone was so wealthy they could afford to get rid of a perfectly good bed and mattress on a whim. Eighteen months after moving in with Daphne, I still slept on a second-hand mattress on the floor because I didn’t want to waste money on non-essentials like a box spring.
“What the hell’s so funny?” His lips were twitching, so I could tell he wasn’t really angry.
“That was a little extreme, don’t you think? Getting rid of your bed and everything?”
“Nah, I never really liked it anyhow. I’d let her pick it out.” After a brief pause, he asked, “Are you going to tell me about your worst heartbreak now?” He must have sensed he’d hit a nerve because he quickly amended the question. “Okay, how about your first?”
“They’re one and the same.” Before he could question me further, I was saved by a knock on the door. “Come in.”
Daphne poked her head in the door. “Do you still hate me?”
“You know I could never hate you.” But I could get so mad I wanted to strangle her sometimes. “Thanks for getting Max to bring the food back. It was great.”
“If you need me to settle the bill now,” Darius said, reaching for his wallet.
Daphne waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. Billy told the bartender before he left that anything you ordered tonight was on the house.”
It was ironic to me that wealthy people always got free stuff while poor people had to scrimp, save, and beg for every scrap.
“For you then,” he said, standing and handing Daphne a folded hundred. “The service was great. Thanks.”
“The service was shit,” she said, trying to hand the bill back to him. “I made a mess of everything. I’m sorry I opened my big mouth.” Her gaze drifted to mine. “I know I had no right, but I love you, and I want—”
“Forgiven and forgotten,” I assured her. “Was there something else you needed?”
“I’m getting ready to head out, and would you believe I forgot my keys again?” She raised her hand. “I don’t need another lecture about being more careful. I just need the key so I can head upstairs and crash. I’m beat.”
I fished inside my purse, which I kept locked in the office during my set, and produced my key ring. “I’ll be up in a bit. Leave it unlocked if you’re going to bed now.”
Darius frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Daphne. Why don’t I walk you up? You can give the keys to me after you lock up, and I’ll give them to Chelsea.”
&nb
sp; Daphne patted his face, looking both touched and amused. “Aren’t you just the sweetest thing? But you don’t have to worry. We do this all the time.”
“But—”
Before Darius could object, Daphne was waving and out the door.
“Chels, she can’t go to sleep with the door unlocked. It’s not safe,” he said.
Oh, this man was definitely dangerous. If I really were an ice princess, as some of my friends claimed, I’d have been reduced to a puddle by now given how charming this man was.
“We’re fine.” I smiled. “You worry too much.”
He frowned before settling in beside me again. “It comes from having two sisters. I always had to look out for them when we were growing up. Even though we were the same age, I always felt like I needed to protect them.”
I thought that was so sweet. I wished I had the chance to tell those girls how lucky they were to have someone who loved them so much.
“So you and Daphne live upstairs?”
“Uh, yeah. You didn’t say whether the renovations would affect the apartments on the top floor. Would they?” It would be hard for us to come up with first and last month’s rent if we were forced to move. I’d have to dip into my tuition fund, which was the last thing I wanted to do.
“I don’t see why it would. But if they’re in the same condition as the rest of the building, they may be due for an overhaul too, don’t you think?”
A landlord who was actually willing to spend money to improve his units? What a novel idea. “You’d have to see for yourself. There are only two units, so at least it wouldn’t cost you a fortune to...” I shut my mouth when I realized he had a fortune to spend in any way he saw fit.
“Who lives in the other unit?”
“A nice old widow named Maria. Her husband passed about six years ago, and she’s on her own now.”
“No kids?”
“No. Daphne and I help her as much as we can. You know, picking up things for her at the grocery store and—” My breath caught when his hand inched closer to mine. When they finally linked, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. Though I’d snuggled in his arms for the better part of an hour before we finally admitted we were hungry, he hadn’t touched me since.
“How old is she?” he asked, swirling his thumb over my hand in lazy circles.
“Um, eighty-nine, I think. But she’s a real pistol. You wouldn’t take her for a day over seventy-five.”
“Chels, I think it’s obvious I’m attracted to you. Before we go any further, I need to know how you feel about me.”
Oh God. I hadn’t expected him to be so direct. How was I supposed to respond? I was attracted to him too, but that didn’t mean I could ever act on it.
“If you’re determined to keep me in the friend zone, I can live with that, but I need to know so I won’t overstep.”
I admired him for wanting to spell things out to avoid confusion, but I couldn’t form the words he needed to hear. I should have told him that we could never be more than friends, but the words wouldn’t come, not when he was looking at me so intently, those piercing blue eyes begging me for a chance.
“If you’re not ready to answer that yet, if it’s too soon, I understand,” he said. “We just met. But could we spend more time together like this? I had a great time tonight.”
He’d had a great time? He’d spent the better part of the evening in a dingy office with an emotionally unstable woman. That was his idea of fun? He needed to get out more.
“Um, maybe. As long as you understand I don’t do relationships.”
He smiled, probably because he was recalling how I’d already broken the rules I set last night.
“I’m serious about this one.” I wanted to say that with conviction, but I couldn’t when his eyes were tracing my lips like that.
“Define relationships.”
“Um, I…” That usually meant no dates, no kissing, no hand-holding, and definitely no sex. But that didn’t sound like any fun. I wanted to do some of those things with Darius. Okay, maybe I wanted to do all of those things with him, but I didn’t want to call it a relationship. “I’m not sure.”
“Okay, so maybe we’ll just play it by ear. Do what feels right?”
“Okay.” I could live with that. I was good at acting on instinct.
“Right now, kissing you feels right. Would that be wrong?”
I should have stopped him, but I couldn’t. I wanted that as much as he did. Maybe more. So I shook my head, closed my eyes, and leaned in. As soon as his lips connected with mine, it ignited a fire in me that had burned out a long time ago. He was soft and gentle. He didn’t try to deepen the kiss, but the way he cradled my face made me want to whimper and pull him closer.
“That’s a good first step,” he said, smiling as his thumb skimmed my lower lip.
Yeah, but a first step leading to where? More heartache?
***
“He is definitely the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on.”
God, I couldn’t deal with Daphne’s squawking before my first cup of coffee. I stumbled into the tiny kitchen and filled the kettle before tossing a scoop and a half of instant coffee in a mug.
Of course she followed me and stood in the doorway. “He’s totally into you. You have to go out with him, Chels. It would be criminal not to.”
I happened to agree with her, but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that. “We’re just playing it by ear for now.” I poured some Cheerios into a bowl and added some skim milk, hoping she’d be satisfied I wasn’t ready to write him off yet.
“So he did ask you out again?”
I turned to face her, digging into my cereal and hoping she would take a hint. When it was obvious she didn’t intend to make it that easy, I swallowed, nodding. “Sort of. He said he had fun last night and would like to do it again.”
“Where do you think he’ll take you?” she asked, clasping her hands as the kettle whistled behind me. Unfortunately, not even that could drown out my friend’s shrieks. “To some five-star restaurant, I bet. Oh wait, I heard his family’s restaurant is finished now. Maybe he’ll take you there.”
I didn’t own a dress suitable for a five-star restaurant, and even if I did, I’d never be comfortable in a place like that. I wouldn’t know which utensils to use and would probably make a fool of him and myself.
“If we go out, it’ll probably just be something casual.” I hoped he could tell I’d be happier with a picnic in the park than a Cordon Bleu dining experience. Another reason he and I would never work. I didn’t belong in his world. “Maybe takeout pizza and a movie at his place.” As far as I was concerned, that sounded like the perfect date night.
“At his place, huh?” Daphne grinned. “Does that mean you’d actually consider sleeping with him?” Before I could respond, she said, “You’d be crazy not to. I mean, seriously, when will you ever get another chance like this?”
Never. If I’d had my way, I wouldn’t have been facing this temptation now. Life was easier when no one challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone and pursue relationships I knew had no chance of working out.
“I don’t want you getting carried away with this,” I warned between bites. “Darius could easily be our new boss, and I can’t afford to lose this job. Neither can you—if you’re partial to eating and having a roof over your head.”
“Why would either of us lose our job if you slept with Darius? If anything, it should cement our future. Maybe he could even help us find something better. I bet the tips in his family’s restaurant are amazing.”
“I’m not interested in using Darius’s connections to get ahead. I can make it on my own.”
“That’s your problem,” Daphne said, glaring at me as she fisted a hand on her narrow hip. “You don’t understand the way the world works. Rich people have no problem cashing in favors or using their connections to get ahead. Why shouldn’t we do the same?”
“Because I don’t believe in using people. A
nd I don’t want to be indebted to a man. Ever.” I’d never had a man in my life I could count on. I’d thought I had once, for a very brief period, but he disappointed me too.
“Why is the idea of having a rich, sexy boyfriend who treats you like a princess and buys you nice things so abhorrent to you?”
I took a sip of my instant coffee. “Because I don’t need anyone to buy me nice things. I’ve gotten by without them just fine all this time.” Getting used to having nice things would be a mistake. In my experience, the higher the climb, the harder the fall.
“You think you don’t deserve them,” Daphne said, narrowing her eyes at me. “That’s really the problem, isn’t it? You think you don’t deserve a guy like Darius. He could have any woman he wants, so why would he want you, right?”
I touched my nose and pointed at her. Bingo. “We both know I’m not in his league. Hell, we’re not even circling the same stratosphere. Sure, he’s a nice guy. Maybe we could be friends, but that’s as far as it could go.”
“Why?” When I turned my back to rinse my bowl, Daphne said, “I think it’s because you’re afraid you could really fall for this one.”
Maybe she was right, but I would never give her the satisfaction of admitting it. “I just prefer to deal in reality. Men like him eventually wind up with socialites, models, or celebrities. Not struggling comediennes from the Bronx.”
“Why do always do that?” Daphne sounded frustrated. “Why do you always sell yourself short? How do you know that a great guy like that couldn’t fall in love with someone like you? Maybe he doesn’t care about bank balances and fancy degrees. Maybe he cares about what a person’s like on the inside.”
“My dear, sweet, naïve friend,” I said, touching Daphne’s cheek as I walked past her. “Normally I find your delusions endearing, but I’m too tired this morning. I just want to enjoy my coffee in peace, grab a shower, and go to Exodus to see if anyone needs me to cover them for a few hours.”
“What if he won’t give up as easily as all the others have?”
Darius (Starkis Family #5) Page 4