“They’ll love you,” he said, his large hands curling around my face.
I got the feeling he was about to say something else, but I silently prayed he wouldn’t. Things between us were already moving at breakneck speed, at least for me.
“You didn’t say how things went with my sister the other day. Was Kara nice to you?”
“Sure.” I slipped out of his arms and crossed the room to toss my lip gloss in my bag along with a tube of sunscreen and my cell phone. “It’s obvious she’s very protective of you. Not that I blame her.” I was protective of Daphne, and she wasn’t even my sister.
He scowled. “I’ve already put my sisters on notice where you’re concerned. If they or anyone else, including my parents, give you a hard time, I want to hear about it.”
I didn’t need him to rescue me, but it was sweet that he wanted to. “Let’s go.” I grabbed his hand as I tossed my bag over the other shoulder. “If we talk about this anymore, I’m going to talk myself out of going.”
Chapter Fourteen
Darius
Chelsea had agreed to a beach volleyball game with Dustin, Catia, Chase, Mia, Deacon, Damon, and Eleni while Kara and my mother watched the kids, insisting my Uncle Demi and Teta Vaso enjoy a walk on the beach. That gave me a chance to talk to my father and get his take on Chelsea. Nothing anyone said about her would deter me, but I valued my old man’s opinion.
“So what do you think?” I asked, reaching into the cooler for my first beer of the day.
“Of your friend?” my father asked, looking amused. “She seems like a very nice girl.”
“She is.” I sounded a bit defensive, but I could read between the lines with my father. I knew there was more to come. “But?”
“I just worry that you may be in over your head with this one.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Are you sure she feels the same way about you as you do about her?” When I attempted to respond, he raised his hand. “I can tell you’re very fond of her, but she seems to be keeping you at arm’s length.”
That was because she didn’t want my family to question the nature of our relationship just yet. Anyone could tell we were more than friends, but Chelsea wasn’t ready to apply a label to our relationship, at least not in front of my family, and I had to respect that.
“We haven’t been seeing each other long, and she hasn’t had very many serious relationships. Only one, in fact. So it’ll take her some time to get used to the idea of being part of a couple.” I was saying more than I should, but I didn’t need my father planting doubts in my head about Chelsea’s feelings for me. Not after last night, when she’d finally started to let go of her past.
“You say she’s only had one relationship?” my father asked, reaching for his bottled water on the table. “What happened?”
I knew her past would come up eventually, but I needed Chelsea to tell me how she wanted me to field my family’s questions before I told them anything about Shaun. “He’s no longer in the picture. Hasn’t been for almost two years.”
“Is she over him?”
I believed she was over Shaun, but she would never get over the way she’d lost him. That would always be a part of her. “I think so.”
“You’d better be sure before you decide whether you want to take this any further.”
I already knew last night had just been the beginning for us whether my parents liked it or not. “I know all I need to know about her previous relationship. Suffice it to say it’s over.”
“And how does she feel about the things that matter to you, son? Marriage, kids, family? Have you talked about that yet?”
“It’s too soon.” She’d told me she didn’t think she was cut out to be a mom, but who could blame her for being apprehensive given her upbringing?
“It’s never too soon to make sure you’re compatible when it comes to the big things.” My father took a sip of his water before replacing the cap. “I mean, really, what’s the point of taking it any further if you don’t want the same things out of life?”
He had a point, but it was way too soon to start pressuring her about the future. We’d just started dating.
“Hey,” Kara said, coming up behind me and gripping my shoulders. “Does it look like they’re almost finished down there? I’d like to call everyone together for a minute.”
I put my fingers between my lips and whistled to get everyone’s attention. Dustin held up a finger to let me know it was game point. After they finished, everyone headed up the stairs leading to the deck. Dustin and Kara exchanged a few words in private before my mother stepped out on the deck to let us know the babies were down for their naps.
“So,” Dustin said, linking his hand with Kara’s. “I know y’all think we invited you here to celebrate the house being finished.” He smiled at his wife. “But there’s a little more to it than that.”
I’d had a feeling there was. They’d been speaking in hushed tones at the office all week, and whenever I walked into the room, they got quiet. I’d asked Kara what was going on, but she insisted I was just being paranoid.
“Well? Don’t keep us in suspense,” my mother said, smiling. “What is it?”
“We’re going to have a baby,” Kara squealed, giggling when her husband gave her a wry smile. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I’ve been dying to tell them ever since we found out!”
Wow. I was going to be an uncle. Given the fact Kara had endometriosis, they hadn’t even been sure they could get pregnant when they got married, so this was a really big deal for them. I glanced at Chelsea, who appeared uncomfortable, almost as though she was looking for an escape route. She probably thought she was intruding on a family moment, but there was no one I’d have rather shared it with. While the rest of my family gathered around Kara and Dustin to congratulate them, I grabbed Chelsea’s hand and led her away from the group.
“You okay?” I whispered, setting my hand on her hip.
“Of course.” She smiled. “This is obviously a very special moment for your family though. I can’t help but feel—”
I set my finger against her lips before she could voice her concerns. “You do belong here, so don’t even try to tell me you don’t.”
“I saw the look on your face when they made their announcement,” she said, her eyes drifting down my chest. “You’re obviously excited for them, but I saw something else. A touch of envy, maybe?”
Given the conversation I’d just had with my father, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d ever get to make an announcement like that if I stayed with Chelsea. “Cat and I are the only ones still single. My cousins are all married with babies and now my sister. I guess I’m starting to feel like I might like my turn.”
Chelsea bit her lip, seeming to weigh her words carefully. “That’s understandable. Family is obviously very important to you. I was watching you with your cousins’ kids earlier. It’s obvious how much you adore them.”
“I do.”
She, on the other hand, had kept her distance, never asking to hold the babies or help feed them or play with them.
“I don’t have to be a mind reader to know what you’re thinking,” she said, resting her hand on my chest. “You’re thinking maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all, you and me.”
“That’s not what I was thinking.”
She touched my face. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that?”
“Chels, I—”
“Chase said he has to go soon. I think I’ll head back to the city with him.”
“But I thought you were going to spend the night.” I didn’t want her to leave, not like this.
“It’s pretty obvious we both have a lot to think about, Darius.” She stood on her toes to kiss me. “I had a great time last night. Thank you.”
***
After the party broke up, Chase and Chelsea headed back to the city, leaving Catia and me to commiserate.
“What a mess,” I said, coveri
ng my face with my hands.
She was sitting on the Adirondack chair next to mine on my back deck. After she heard Chelsea wasn’t spending the night, she’d asked to crash at my place, assuming I could use the company. In this case, she was right. I didn’t feel like being alone tonight.
“I finally meet a girl I’m crazy about, and it can’t go anywhere ‘cause she’s too fuc—”
“Messed up?” Cat asked, reaching for my hand. “Yeah, I kind of got the impression Chelsea had one foot out the door all day today.”
“I should have known better than to invite her to a family thing. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready. We weren’t ready.” Maybe if I’d waited a few months, if we’d been on more solid ground, she wouldn’t have gotten so freaked out.
“I understand how she feels,” Catia said. “The prospect of kids scared me away after Chase and I…” She shrugged. “You know. Knowing his kids are the most important thing in the world to him and that he wanted to be a full-time dad made me question whether there would be any room for me in his life even if I was willing to give it a try.”
Catia had always been reluctant to talk to me about Chase, so I was glad she was finally opening up. The fact that she and Chelsea seemed to have something in common could also provide me with some much-needed perspective because right now, I felt as if everything was falling apart.
“How do you feel about Chase now? I mean, did you guys get a chance to talk at all today?”
“I tried, but he didn’t seem too receptive. I think I really hurt him, leaving the way I did after we slept together.”
“That’s understandable.” I felt the same way. After last night, I’d expected Chelsea and me to be closer by the end of the weekend, not further apart. “I know Chase was really into you when we all worked together. It had to have been a blow for you to leave the way you did.”
“I just didn’t know if I could do it, Darius,” she said, reaching for the hoodie she’d brought outside with her. She slipped it on before reaching for her glass of wine. “The thought of settling down with just one man still scares the hell out of me, but I’m not going to lie—I really miss seeing Chase every day.”
“It must have been hard for you, seeing him again today,” I said, looking at her out of the corner of my eye.
“That’s the hardest part.” She sighed. “We have this connection now. He’s like family to you and Kara and Dustin, so of course you guys want to include him on days like today, but it’s hard for me to see him and not be able to tell him how I feel about him.”
“You could tell him.” Not that I’d done the best job of expressing myself to Chelsea. There were things I should have said to her, things she needed to know before she made her final decision about us.
“Not unless I’m ready to move back here and start a real relationship with him, one that involves his girls.”
“They really are the sweetest little things,” I said, smiling at her. “Blond curls, big blue eyes, and they have their daddy wrapped around their little fingers.”
“I know. I’ve seen their pictures. I think that’s what I’m most afraid of—falling in love with them too. If it didn’t work out between Chase and me, I’d not only lose him but them too.”
I was stunned by my sister’s admission. I’d thought she’d want to keep her interactions with Chase’s girls to a minimum. “You know you can’t live your life fearing risk,” I said, nudging her elbow with mine. “Isn’t that what you always tell Mom when a friend asks you to go rock climbing or sky diving?”
“Yeah, but that’s different.” She tipped her head back, looking at the stars blanketing the sky. “The risk of a broken heart scares me the most. I guess that’s why I’ve always kept men at arm’s length. I didn’t want to go through what Kara went through with Dustin the first time around. It almost destroyed her. I guess that’s when I realized how destructive love can be.”
I’d had no idea watching our sister go through that had had such a profound impact on Cat. “Yeah, but Kara and Dustin got their happy ending. You and Chase could too.”
“I don’t know about that.” She took a sip of her wine. “It may be too late for us. How about you and Chelsea? You think it’s too late for you guys?”
“I sure as hell hope not. Everything in me is telling me not to let this one go, Cat.”
Chapter Fifteen
Chelsea
I was surprised to find Daphne watching TV when I got home. “No hot date tonight?” I asked, dropping my overnight bag in the foyer.
She shook her head. “What are you doing home? I wasn’t expecting you back ‘til late tomorrow.”
“Chase was heading back to the city tonight. He offered to give me a lift,” I said, sinking into the chair next to my roommate.
“I would’ve thought you’d want to spend every minute you could with that sexy man of yours.”
“I needed some time alone to think.” I pulled my legs into my chest and curled my arms around them.
“You want me to get out of here for a while? The nice thing about this building is that it has a gym. I could go—”
“No, don’t go.” I didn’t really feel like being alone. I wanted to think aloud, to get my best friend’s take on my dilemma. “I’m falling hard for this guy, and it’s scaring the hell out of me.”
“Does he know everything… about Shaun?”
“Yeah, I told him.”
“And?”
“He was great, really understanding.”
Daphne smiled. “I knew he would be. You’re really lucky. You know that, don’t you? Most girls would kill for a guy like that.”
“I know.” I felt almost bad for complaining to her given her lousy luck with men, but I had no one else to turn to. “But it’s getting serious. We slept together.”
“I kind of figured you would, spending the weekend with him and all.” She grinned. “Was he amazing? Did he rock your world?”
Just the memory of last night made me feel flushed. “Yeah, he was pretty amazing. It’s never been like that before. I didn’t even know it could be like that.”
“And you feel guilty?”
“What? No! Why would I feel guilty? It’s not like I cheated on Shaun. You’re the one who keeps reminding me he’s been gone almost two years. I had to get on with my life sometime, right?”
“Yeah, but you never expected to meet anyone you could see a future with after Shaun, and now that you have, you feel guilty.”
That was crazy. Wasn’t it? “That’s not the problem,” I said, shaking my head slowly as I tried to process her words. “I don’t think we’re really compatible, Daph. It’s not just that Darius’s family is crazy wealthy.”
“Then what is it?”
“They’re all so tight. You should see them together.” I’d never been more grateful for my sunglasses than I was today. There had actually been a few times, watching his family, when my eyes welled up with tears as I thought about all of the family dinners and parties I’d missed out on because no one wanted me. “And it’s pretty obvious how much Darius loves kids. No way could he be happy without a family of his own.”
“Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?” Daphne asked. “You guys just started dating. You have no idea where you’ll end up.”
“Yeah, but is it fair to keep seeing someone if you know you don’t want the same things out of life?”
“So you know for sure that you’ll never wanna be a mom? Without a single doubt?”
She was challenging me because she loved me, and I was letting her because I loved her more, but this conversation was venturing into seriously unchartered territory. “How can someone as messed up as me be a good mom?”
“Don’t sell yourself short, girl. I’ve watched you do things you never thought you could. You’re a survivor if I’ve ever met one. The question isn’t whether you could be a good mom. I know you could. The question is do you want to.”
“I don’t know.” Watching Damon build sand cast
les with his older daughter and watching Deacon blow bubbles on his baby’s belly until he giggled had made me wonder if maybe I wouldn’t be missing out if I decided not to have a baby of my own someday.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now. Just be honest with Darius. Tell him this is all new for you and you’re still trying to figure things out. Don’t make him any promises about how it’ll turn out, but you can promise to be honest with him every step of the way.”
Feeling better, I hugged her. “What would I do without you?”
“You’d be as lost without me as I would be without you,” she said, kissing my cheek soundly.
***
I tried to fall asleep, but after half an hour of tossing and turning, I reached for my cell phone and dialed Darius’s number.
He answered on the first ring. “Hey, I was just thinking about you. You couldn’t sleep either, huh?”
“I’m sorry I left like that. I should have stayed so we could have talked.”
“I understand why you felt you had to leave. A lot’s happened since you met me. You needed time to process it all.”
He was right. Hearing him say that only made me realize how well he’d come to know me in such a short time. “Still, I feel like a bit of a coward for bailing on you.”
“No need, you just needed a timeout. We all do sometimes.”
Daphne was right. He really was an amazing guy, and I was lucky to have met him. “Here’s the thing—I don’t want to be unfair to you. I’ve tried being honest about the things I want in regards to a job, school, a relationship… everything.”
“But?”
“I thought I had my future all mapped out before I met you, but you’re making me rethink everything.” I knew I could continue holding back, but I didn’t want to. This was the time to bare my soul. “Last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life, Darius. I felt closer to you than I’ve felt to anyone in a long time.”
Darius (Starkis Family #5) Page 13