by J. Nichole
Dr. Dorian claps his hands. "You guys get it. See if we lose our integrity, and our reputation is tarnished, as a journalist, you might as well go flip burgers at Burger King." The class erupts in laughter. "Not to say that flipping burgers is beneath any of us." He looks around the classroom. "Cause there may be one of you in here who have to flip burgers to help pay for tuition. But what I'm saying is that even if you are not that great of a writer or speaker as long as you are honest and trustworthy, your audience will connect with you."
He goes to the board and writes out our assignment and reads aloud what he wants us to do before next session. "Discover a journalist who has lost his or her audience by stretching the facts."
The class is dismissed, and as I walk out to the front of the class Dr. Dorian stops me. "Laila, can you come to my office?" I don't have another class starting soon so I follow him to his office.
"Have a seat." He closes the door but leaves it cracked. He takes a seat behind his desk and unloads the papers he was carrying.
"I know you were the author of the Professor Douglas article." I nod my head. "I didn't realize you were the one until recently when I re-read the article after a conversation with Professor King."
My insides do a little dance. Professor King and Professor Dorian would make cute babies. I look at him and realize he's staring at me. Not sure if I missed a question, so I reply, "Yes, it was a difficult article to write. It tested my desire to be a journalist."
He leans back in his chair with his arms cross his chest. I look past him at the pictures adorned on his wall. I assume the pictures are of his family, and the older man and woman his parents. To the left of the family photos is a shield.
"I'm sure you won't have a problem with the assignment from today." I shake my head although I have no idea who or what details I'll find. "I wanted to ask you about your plans after graduation."
My eyes grow wide. After my weekend with Josh, I almost feel like I should be going home to write for the local newspaper. I wrinkle my nose and say, "I don't know yet. I interned in Jacksonville, and I'm waiting on a full-time offer. I applied to a few magazines in New York and California." I shrug my shoulders. "But I haven't heard from anyone yet."
"Glad you are on top of it. No time to waste really." He leans forward and pulls a paper from beside his computer. "Have you considered grad school?" He hands me the paper. "The department could sponsor you for a fellowship."
I am not over learning, but I'm over school. I hadn't considered a graduate degree. At least not anytime soon. "Thank you." I hesitate before continuing. "I would rather find a job. Maybe get some real world experience for a few years then consider graduate school."
Dr. Dorian frowns. "Are you over it already?"
"Pretty much." I look behind him again and get a closer look at the shield. An Omega shield. Pointing to the shield I ask, "Where did you pledge?"
He sits up straight and proudly says, " Howard University." He smiles widely. "In grad school though.” He points towards the paper. “Keep it, and think about filling out the details. It's a good backup plan."
"Always have a plan B, my dad says." Sliding the paper into my bag I thank Dr. Dorian again before leaving out of his office.
My next class doesn't start for another thirty minutes. I decide to go to Up Late Cafe for tea while I wait. The Cafe is packed with students slumped over laptops and books. The beverage line flows outside of the door. I get in line, skeptical that I'll even be able to grab something before my next class. A tall girl stands in front of me rocking back and forth while she talks on her phone. I catch some of her conversation with little effort. She isn't exactly whispering.
My ears perk up when I hear her mention L.O.S. She is complaining about the fact that Student Affairs closed the investigation. Jennifer mentioned that they couldn't confirm the girl was put in the hospital because of a hazing incident. Apparently, the girl wouldn't give details about how she was hurt.
While I'm listening to the girl I decide to send Paige a text. The details would make for a good follow-up article.
Next, I call Jennifer and speak in code words so the Sasquatch in front of me doesn't overhear my congratulatory call. "Jennifer, busy?"
Before I can tell her the news she shouts in the phone. "I'm free. I'm free!"
You'd think she was a rapper and we had custom made t-shirts in her honor. "We should throw a party."
"Sounds like a plan. This weekend?"
"Yup. I'll talk to you when I get home." I nearly skip to the counter to order my Earl Grey tea.
"Josh, not this weekend. I can't come home this weekend." Before Josh left last weekend he suggested we see each other every weekend. At the time it sounded like a great idea. But traveling back and forth to Fort Walton Beach while trying to knock my projects out, and still enjoy my last semester is damn near impossible.
"When I suggested it, you didn't make it seem like it was a bad idea." Pushing shirts back and forth on the rack in my closet in search of one to wear for the party is frustrating me and I groan. "Am I bothering you?"
Oh crap. "No, that wasn't towards you. I can't find a shirt to wear for the party."
"What party?" He sounds agitated. "You're going to a party in the middle of the week." He laughs. "Wish I was still in school."
"No, not for tonight. That's why I can't come home this weekend. We are throwing Jennifer a party because the hazing investigation has been closed."
"Are you serious?"
"Yup. Closed. The girl wouldn't snitch." That didn't come out right. "I mean she wouldn't say how she got hurt. I still don't know if it was hazing. Although I’m pretty sure Jennifer wasn’t involved even if it was hazing."
"Alright." I hear a female in the background. "I should get going." He should be off work by now. Who would be talking to him?
"Hey," I say before I hang up. "Who is that?"
"It's Joseline." No further explanation. I calm my nerves and don't ask any further questions. Trust. I trust him.
"Alright, I'll talk to you later."
I continue shuffling through my closet. After the third time, I give up and sit at my desk. I scroll through my phone for a few minutes before deciding to call Tanya. Josh and I promised her we wouldn't talk to her about each other, but she knows him better than anyone else.
"Hey, girl." I pull out a piece of paper and doodle while I talk to her.
"Laila." She squeals into the phone. "Chick, where have you been?"
"I could ask the same thing. I haven't talked to you in a minute." Before we graduated high school we would talk to each other between classes and throughout most of the night. When we started college that fell off, but we at least talked a few times a week. Since she started at A&T we talk even less. But like all great friendships, we pick up where we left off with no hard feelings.
"I've been busy. This last semester is whooping my ass." I hear pounding in the background.
"And are you boxing out your frustrations? What's all that noise?" The pounding stops.
"My bad. I have this art project I'm trying to finish up for my art class." Tanya decided to major in engineering for the money and minor in fine arts because she's more creative than she is logical.
"How's my baby girl doing? Josh showed me a picture of her wearing a tutu."
"Girl, she's growing up too fast. I can't wait to wrap up this year and get her back with me full time." Tanya hasn't second-guessed what she's doing after graduation. She's going back to Fort Walton Beach to be nearby her parents for support with Ava.
"Have you heard back about the job yet," she asks.
"No, I'm still waiting. Have you heard anything yet?"
"Still waiting." Tanya, like Josh, wants me to come home. "I was calling to talk about your brother."
"About him being my brother or about him being your boyfriend." She smacks her lips. "I seem to remember two grown people promising they would not talk to me about their relationship."
I pout. "Tanya." She hu
ffs into the phone. "He's been acting moody lately. I can't figure out what's wrong with him. And then, of course, there is this chick Joseline."
"Wait. First, let's address his mood. You know my brother is super emo." I nod my head although she can't see me. "And a little birdy told me he professed his love for you." Tanya is as dramatic as Josh is emotional. Bless their parents.
"I'm not even going to ask who told you that. But I can't be one of those girls saying it back just because."
"It probably would have been better than not saying it at all. But I'm not judging you." She whistles. "But this girl, Joseline." I'm worried about what she could say next. "She's coming for him. Tough." My heart sinks. "Watch out. I'm not saying he'll cheat. But he could move on."
"Thanks for giving it to me straight."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." I contemplate what she's saying and close my eyes. I don't want to deal with another chick gunning for my man. "Laila, do you love him?" I don't immediately respond and she says, "You need to tell him. The longer you wait the more it will hurt him."
I know I should tell him how I feel but I don't want to lose him. More so, I don't want to lose my friendship with Tanya. She damn near wanted to drive to North Carolina and whoop the ass of the last girl who hurt Josh. "I care about Josh."
"Laila, I've known you for too long. If you loved him you would have said it by now."
We chat more about the semester and before hanging up she says, "I'll love you regardless. Just don't hurt him, okay?"
"I promise." I look down at my page and there are hearts of every size all over the paper. I have love to give but why am I making this so hard.
Instead of the work I should be doing tonight I take a break and head to the mall in search of an outfit for the weekend.
While I'm in the dressing room trying on a tunic and tights my phone rings. An unknown number, but I answer anyway because it's a Jacksonville area code. "Hello, this is Laila."
A woman on the other end says, "Hey, Laila. It's Brooklyn from What's Happening Jacksonville." My mouth drops and I hold the phone closer to my ear to listen intently as she continues, "I hope now is a good time."
"Yes." I rock back and forth while I wait for her to speak.
"I'm excited to inform you that we'd love for you to join us full-time at the magazine." I jump up and down. "Upon your successful graduation of course."
"Of course. Thank you." She continues to tell me that I'll receive a package in the mail by the weekend and lets me know how to respond. I thank her again before hanging up.
A knock at the dressing room door dampens my excitement. "Are you finished? A few people are waiting for a room." I throw my clothes back on and exit out of the room.
I call my mom to share the good news with her and my dad grabs the phone from her and says, "Congrats, baby girl! I knew you could do it." I think he's more excited about not having to float me after graduation than me having the job.
I leave the store with a few options for the weekend. Now that this will also be a celebration for me too I have to be super cute.
Chapter Ten
Placing the liquor on the counter, I say, "This should be enough for the night." Since learning about my job offer I've been spending money like it grows on trees. After tonight I have to go back to being a frugal college student.
"Enough? How many people did we invite?" Monica takes inventory of the bottles and then says, "I think we should put some away. It's too much."
Nicole bounces into the kitchen and says, "Is there such a thing as too much?" She hugs me around the neck. "Jennifer is free and our girl will have a job after she graduates." Monica looks at her with a smirk. "When do you think people will start arriving? I need to put the food in the oven." Nicole opens the freezer and pulls out some chicken wings, pizza rolls, and cheese sticks.
"We still have time,” I say looking at the clock. "I need to hop in the shower."
"Where is Jennifer?" Monica walks back to Jennifer's room and knocks on the door. "I haven't seen her all day."
"I know, right. She was supposed to help me with the food." Nicole slaps the bag of wings.
Monica scoffs. "What do you need help with? All you have to do is put the food in the oven and wait for it to be finished."
"Don't underestimate my job for the night." They bicker back and forth about what each of them is responsible for doing.
I interrupt them and say, "Is this what the two of you will do after Jennifer and I move out?" Monica rolls her eyes. "Speaking of which, have you found replacement roommates yet?"
"No, we haven't." Nicole offers. "If Monica wouldn't be so picky we would have had them already."
I cock my head at Monica. "What's wrong with them?" She explains how most of them are young and she doesn't want to deal with immaturity. "I can respect that."
Nicole laughs and says, "Okay. If we don't find replacements we'll need you to help with rent around here."
I look at Monica and say, "Those girls probably aren't all that bad." I head into my room and Monica and Nicole continue bickering in the kitchen.
Before getting in the shower I lay my outfit on the bed. A blue jean tunic, black leggings, and tan wedges sit neatly across my comforter. My shower is quick because I don't want to hear the girls complaining I used all the hot water.
The towel is wrapped around me while I lean over the sink to brush my hair down from the wrap it's been in all day. Someone knocks on the bedroom door and I shout, "Yes." No response. I peek my head out from the bathroom and shout again, "What?" Then the door opens.
"Surprise." Josh walks through the door carrying flowers. He sets the flowers on my nightstand and walks over to me kissing my forehead. "I came at just the right time," he says while looking down at my towel.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" I reach up and hug his neck.
"You couldn't come home and I wanted to see you. I hope you don't mind me crashing the party."
"No, I don't mind." I point to myself. "Me, mind? Of course not." Josh's eyes grow wide. "I just need to finish getting dressed."
He takes a seat on my bed. Holding up my shirt he says, "Are you wearing this?"
I peep around the door and say, "Uh huh."
"Cute." I hear him move towards my desk and sit down. I'm leaning into the mirror, applying my eyeliner when he says, "What's this?"
I turn around and he's holding up an envelope. My envelope from What's Happening Jacksonville. I didn't let him know about the job offer yet. I wanted to share the news with him the next time I saw him. Which I guess is now. I put my eyeliner down and say, "That's a job offer."
He looks down at the envelope and reads the sender block again. "Congrats." He doesn't sound enthused. "When were you going to tell me?"
"Thanks. You don't sound excited." He looks at me with a fake grin. "I was going to tell you when I saw you in person again. I know you want me back in Fort Walton Beach, and I guessed you wouldn't be thrilled."
"I'm happy you got a job." He hunches his shoulders. "Wish you were coming home though. Thought we both agreed we wanted to be near each other."
"I told you coming back to Fort Walton Beach would be my last option." He shakes his head. "Maybe you can transfer to Jacksonville," I blurted before thinking about what I was saying.
"My firm doesn't have a location in Jacksonville. Laila, why do I feel like we might not work out?"
"What?" I yell. "What are you talking about Josh? How does this job offer mean that we won't work out?"
"These past few weeks. I feel like I'm putting in more effort and you are backing away."
I start thinking back on our conversations and interactions. Other than me not telling him I love him, things have seemed normal. "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have surprised you. Not tonight." He grabs his keys off the bed.
I walk behind him and say, "Wait. Don't leave. We need to talk about this." Tanya's words are replaying in my head.
"We've said enough. We are on two separ
ate pages. The drive home will let me think this out." He turns away again.
I grab his arm and say, "We can make this work if we want to be together. When I'm not in school seeing each other on the weekend won't be as difficult."
"Laila, you can't even tell me you love me." He shrugs out of my hand. "What's the point of this if you don't love me?" He turns and walks away.
As soon as the front door closes, Monica and Nicole rush into the room. Nicole speaks first. "Laila, this is your chance to let it go." She rubs my shoulder. "You just need to let him go."
Monica hushes Nicole. "Don't listen to the girl who never wants to be in a relationship."
Nicole stands in front of me, blocking Monica. "You've let these dudes tear you apart. We are celebrating tonight. If nothing else, forget about it for tonight and we'll worry about it all tomorrow."
I take a deep breath, and as much as I'd rather curl up into a ball in the bed and cry, I nod my head. "You're right. We're celebrating tonight." I look over to my nightstand at the tulips and shake my head. "Someone make me a strong drink."
Jennifer walks through the front door and says, "Hey, what's going on? I just passed Josh outside."
Monica looks at her and says, "Where have you been?"
"Damn. You sound like somebody's mama." She wags her finger in the air. "But not mine. I was at the library. Now answer my question. Why is Josh outside?"
Monica gives Jennifer the details while Nicole makes me a drink. "But tonight we celebrate," Nicole says.
Nicole hands me the drink and I take a long sip and then hold the cup in the air. "Tonight we celebrate."
Guests start arriving and the house is full. We learned from the first party we threw sophomore year to keep the invites minimal. Unlike then, everyone is inside the house. No stragglers are crowding the stairway or parking lot.
The music is thumping and I'm dancing, giving no fucks that the girls of L.O.S are here watching. Jennifer stands beside me and says, "This is the Laila I haven't seen." She throws her hands in the air. "Look at your moves." Which only entices me to dance harder.