by Teresa Hill
If anyone needed a lesson in faith and love, it was him.
Which was likely her wanting to justify what she was doing, to somehow make it right.
Could I just have the big, booming voice? A quick, simple Marry Matt would do nicely.
Cathie frowned and heard nothing. Of course, she’d probably really lose it if the Box ever started talking back to her.
The day rushed on. Her cousins, aunts and mother surprised her with a wedding shower that night. The presents were beautiful, all lingerie, silk and lace, both pretty and sexy. She blushed and couldn’t begin to imagine wearing them for Matt.
Would they ever have a night like that? Would he even want her that way?
Which made her think of something else, every bit as unsettling as whether or not he had a girlfriend. They’d left out one other important detail.
Sex.
Was he going to be celibate for the next three years? She hadn’t asked him to honor their marriage vows in any way, didn’t think she had the right. It was three years, after all. She couldn’t imagine a man like Matt…not for three years.
“Cathie, you okay?” her mother asked.
She looked up to find all eyes on her. “Fine,” she lied. “Where’s Matt?”
“Your brothers dragged him off somewhere,” her aunt Margaret said.
For some abbreviated version of a bachelor party, no doubt.
Her party broke up not long after that when she pleaded tiredness and wanting to get a good night’s sleep. Her mother fussed over her for a moment and then let her go to her room.
The minute the door closed behind her, Cathie grabbed the phone and dialed Matt’s cellphone. He answered on the second ring. She could hear laughter in the background—her brothers and cousins—and someone teasing, asking who was on the phone and if Cathie was already checking up on him. Like a wife.
“Hi,” she said. “It’s me.”
“Hang on.” Matt told the others he needed a moment, took some wild ribbing about that, and then it got quieter and he said, “What’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you, and I’m sorry for interrupting. I won’t do that. I won’t be like that. I promise.”
“Cathie, just tell me what’s wrong?” He sounded so patient, so understanding.
“We just…we forgot something else. Something I have to ask you. Not over the phone. It’s important. I don’t know if I can do this, Matt.”
“Okay,” he said. “Just hang on. Where are you?”
“In my bedroom. Mom gave me the tiny one at the end of the hall on the third floor.” A luxury, because she wasn’t sharing with anyone. The house was packed. “You know the one I mean.”
“Sure. I’ll be there. Just hang on. And don’t say anything to anyone.”
Fifteen minutes later, he slipped quietly into her room. She’d turned out the lights, because if anyone else came to find her, she wanted them to think she was asleep, and it was good, because this way, he wouldn’t be able to see her so clearly.
She felt foolish and embarrassed. Panic was not far behind.
She sat, miserable and silent, in her bed, and Matt stood by her side, frowning down at her.
“Just one more day,” he said. “You can do it, Cathie.”
“I’m trying to, but…what about you? This is going to mess up your life.”
“How?”
“Lots of ways.”
He sat down on the bed, obviously thinking this was going to take a while. “Name one.”
“What about your girlfriend?”
“What about her? I told you, it was nothing.”
“What about sex?” There. She just said it, and she thought he’d grinned when she did.
“What about it?”
“What are you going to do? We never talked about it. It’s three years, Matt, and I don’t expect you to…to…you know?”
“Do without?” He did laugh then.
“Yes!” she said miserably. “And I guess it’s really none of my business, anyway. I know that. And I’m sorry. Never mind. It’s not even the most important thing.”
“And what is the most important thing?” he asked carefully.
“That I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Sure you can,” he shot back.
“Marriage is supposed to mean something,” she said. “I feel like I’m making a mockery of the whole thing. We have to stand in my father’s church. He’s going to ask us to repeat those vows, to make promises to each other—”
“So, you want to forget the whole thing?”
“I don’t know!” she cried. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I do, and I think you’re just going to have to trust me on this. It’s last-minute nerves. That’s all. You have to think about your objective here. You want to keep your baby. You want to finish school and be able to support yourself. You don’t want your family to freak out or your father to worry himself to death. There’s only one way to accomplish that. By marrying me. Tomorrow.”
“This isn’t business, Matt. It’s my life. Our lives.”
“Same principle. You have a goal—to keep this baby—and you know what you have to do to meet your goal.”
“The lies don’t bother you? The vows?”
He sighed. “They’re just words, Cathie. All we have to do is say the words. This agreement is between you and me, and no one else. And we both know exactly what that agreement is.”
“But what if…what if we want something else? I mean, if things change, in time?”
“Whatever comes along, we’ll deal with it,” he said. “If you meet someone, you want out, all you have to do is say so.”
“What if you meet someone?”
“That’s not going to happen,” he claimed.
“You don’t know that.”
“I don’t want to marry anyone. I never will. I mean, I’m willing, for you and for this baby.” His arm came around her. Her head fell to his shoulder. He placed a kiss on her forehead. “This is a one-time deal. It’s just for you.”
And she hoped she was the only one for him.
The love she’d felt for him so long ago welled up inside of her. She’d tried so hard to dismiss it and to say that she was too young, that it was an infatuation, all those things before.
But the truth was, he’d always been the one.
The only reason she’d ever really looked at any other man was because she’d been so sure she’d never have him. That thing with Tim…she’d been waiting so long for what she thought of as her real life to start. All those years she’d spent at home, helping take care of her father and keep the family business going, waiting for her chance to get away, be on her own, to find someone and fall in love.
She’d been so ready when Tim had shown up, had wanted to fall in love much more than she’d wanted to love him specifically.
What a fool she’d been.
And Matt was coming to her rescue. She buried her face in his neck, and thought about telling him everything she’d ever felt for him, everything she still wanted from him. He’d be horrified, would explain as gently as possible that he simply didn’t have those things to offer her or any woman.
She believed there was a well of love inside of him. It might be buried so deep he didn’t even know it was there, but she believed.
There, she’d found one, little bit of faith. In Matt and the love he so completely dismissed as even a possibility.
Either that, or she was playing God with both his life and hers. And her baby’s. Thinking she knew what was best for all of them.
She didn’t know which it was.
“I’m scared, Matt,” she said.
“I know, but I’m here, and I’ll take care of you. I promise.”
Matt woke up with an armful of woman. Soft, womanly curves draped over his body, snuggled close.
“Mmm,” he said, his mouth finding her forehead. He thought about reaching for her mouth or about giving her hair a little tug to bring her fac
e up, so he could kiss her for real.
Then he woke up a bit more and wondered who she was, where he was, why there was light coming in through the window at that angle. Light didn’t hit him full in the face in the morning when he was in his own bed.
Squinting against the glare, he realized in a split second that he was at Cathie’s parents’ house, with Cathie in his arms, and unless she backed out, this would be their wedding day.
He blinked, managing to bring everything into focus. It was morning. He was in her bed. And Cathie’s mother was standing in the doorway frowning at him.
Oh, hell. He’d fallen asleep.
He glanced down, reassured that both he and Cathie were fully clothed, on top of the covers, where they’d fallen asleep the night before. Cathie hadn’t yet woken up, and he didn’t want her to. He held up one finger, signaling to Mary that he needed a minute, and she backed out of the room without a word.
Matt carefully slid his arm from beneath Cathie’s head. She looked so vulnerable. It wasn’t hard to still see something of the girl who’d meant so much to him, the one who’d believed in him when no one else did.
This was payback time of a different sort, he realized. Not about what he owed her family, but about what he owed her.
He smoothed down his shirt, tucked it in on the side where it had come untucked, brushed a hand through his hair, thinking of all the times to get caught in Cathie’s bed….
He went into the hall and faced Cathie’s mother, wondering how much he’d have to tell her. But before he could get out a word, Mary said, “Hold that thought. We might as well do this in Jim’s study, so you don’t have to go through the whole thing again with him.”
“Fine.” He followed her down the stairs and into the reverend’s study, the scene of many discussions in Matt’s life. About fighting at school, swearing, missing money that he actually hadn’t taken, times the cops had picked him up just because they knew what he was like. All sorts of good things.
He never thought he’d be here trying to explain something like this.
“I found the missing groom,” Mary said. “In your daughter’s bed.”
Jim Baldwin, his hair whiter than it used to be, with more lines in his face but still a steely-eyed stare when it suited him, sat behind his desk looking pointedly at Matt, waiting for an explanation.
Matt didn’t know what to say. Jim wasn’t a prude. He might make noises about frowning on the idea of anyone sleeping with his daughter before marrying her, but the man lived in the real word. He would not be shocked.
It might be that he saw this as a lack of respect, sneaking into Cathie’s bed in the Baldwins’ house. And it might even have something to do with all the traditions having to do with a wedding. Matt wasn’t even sure about that.
“Looks like they fell asleep talking,” Mary said, turning to Matt. “Which is fine. I’m just wondering how much you could possibly have to talk about at this late date. What would be so important that it couldn’t wait until after the wedding? Unless this is about whether we’ve having a wedding?”
Leave it to Mary to cut right to it.
“Cathie was a little nervous last night,” he admitted.
“She’s more than a little nervous,” Mary said. “And I’ve tried not to pry, but I think there’s something going on here that the two of you aren’t telling us, Matt.”
“And you may think it’s none of our business, son, as her parents. But I’m also the man who’s going to marry the two of you, and I don’t do that when I have doubts that the couple is sure they know what they’re doing. Normally, I won’t even perform a wedding without meeting with the couple several times in advance and satisfying myself that they seem ready to take on this kind of commitment. Too many people just rush into things like this. I may need to treat you and Cathie like any other couple today. Unless you can clear this up for me, fast, I won’t marry you.”
Well, hell.
The morning just kept getting worse.
Matt looked from Jim to Mary, weighing his options.
“Don’t even try that with me,” Mary said.
“What?” he asked.
“That bit where you try to figure out just how much of the truth you have to tell me to satisfy me.”
Jeez, the woman was good, even after all this time.
“All right.” Matt shook his head and grinned and stuck with the truth. At least, with part of it, wondering if he could still pull one over on Mary when it counted. “Cathie really didn’t want the two of you to know this, because she’s concerned about upsetting you and disappointing you. But the thing is…she just found out she’s pregnant.”
It was a calculated risk. They weren’t letting him go without getting something out of him, and if Jim got Cathie in here and started grilling her, she wouldn’t last five minutes. Plus, they’d know about the baby soon anyway. If they assumed she just found out two or three days ago, instead of three weeks ago…. Well, they could just assume that.
He looked at Mary first, who seemed torn between concern and out-and-out joy. He thought things were going to be okay. Mary had been talking about grandchildren since her oldest son graduated from college ten years ago. So far, she didn’t have any. Jim did not look so pleased, but he wasn’t losing it, either. But then, Jim Baldwin didn’t lose it. He’d worry, but Matt didn’t think the man knew how to yell. He was a model of patience, and he loved Cathie more than just about anyone on earth.
“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful with her,” he said. Which was the truth. He should have beaten the hell out of her professor. Hell, he would when they got back to town.
“Yes, you should have,” Jim said, trying for sternness.
“A baby?” Mary asked, pure awe in her voice.
Matt nodded.
Mary looked at her husband and said, “Our little girl’s going to have a baby.” Like she couldn’t quite believe it.
“She’s not even done with school,” Jim said. “And she waited so long and worked so hard to get there.”
“I’ll see that she has a chance to finish, if that’s what she wants,” Matt promised. As long as nobody asked if he was the father, they were home-free, and Jim and Mary would never ask that. They’d never think Cathie would have fallen into bed with some jerk who’d left her pregnant and alone.
“She should finish,” Mary said. “It’s important that a woman have a way to support herself. But she’ll want to be home with the baby, too. I know she will.”
“We’ll work it out,” Matt said.
“Oh, dear lord. A baby,” Mary said, and then walked over to Matt and grabbed him, tears of joy on her face. “I knew something was wrong. I just knew it. But this…oh, this wonderful. I mean…this is what you want, Matt, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” He wanted to make this right for Cathie. “Cathie’s always wanted children. We all know that. Other than worrying about the reaction from the two of you….”
Okay, that was a big, fat lie, and he actually felt guilty about telling it. But what was he supposed to do?
Mary was too in awe of the idea of being a grandmother to notice, and Jim looked like he was trying to be reverendly and fatherly, but the grandfather-to-be in him just wouldn’t let him.
“I hear the first grandchild in the family always gets spoiled rotten,” Matt said.
“And you will not deny me a moment of that pleasure,” Mary insisted.
“No, I won’t. But I’d really appreciate it if we could not let Cathie know that the two of you know. She’ll tell you in time, I know, but today…she’s been a little emotional since she found out, and feeling guilty about getting things out of order. I don’t want her to have one more thing to worry about today.”
“Oh, dear. I can see her doing exactly that, and I suppose now I’m going to have to worry about keeping a secret from her,” Mary said. “If she’s anything like me, she’ll be on the verge of tears for the whole nine months.”
“That bad?” Matt frowne
d.
“Yes, that bad,” Jim said. “And we don’t want the bride in tears before the wedding, if we can help it. All right. We’ll keep this between the three of us.”
“Okay. I can do it.” Mary took a breath, fortifying herself. “A baby!”
“Darling,” Jim suggested, “why don’t you go try to pull yourself together and give me and Matt a chance to talk.”
Mary, who was facing Matt at the moment, grinned and mouthed the words Don’t worry, it’ll be fine, before she hugged him one more time. “I want a lot of grandchildren. A whole house full. Say, ‘Yes, Mom.’”
“Yes, Mom,” he repeated dutifully. He’d never called her Mom, although she’d invited him to on more than one occasion.
Mary left, and he turned to Jim, waiting for a grilling that never came.
All Jim said was, “You promised me you’d take good care of her.”
“I will.”
“And if you ever hurt her…”
“I understand.”
“I’m going to talk to her about this. Not about the baby, but I will ask about this marriage. I have to know this is what she wants—”
“It is,” Matt said.
“Then there won’t be any harm in asking,” Jim said, and then he shook his head in wonder. “A baby?”
Matt nodded. What was it about babies? He just didn’t get it. As he saw it, they were a lot like puppies. They made a lot of noise and a lot of messes. Communicating with them was difficult, at best. People held them and fed them and fussed over them, and generally went crazy over them. What was the big deal? Cathie would be just that way. He’d have expected it from her and Mary. But Jim?
“It doesn’t seem like that long ago that we brought Cathie home from the hospital,” he said wistfully. “She was a surprise, too. A big one. Four little boys are enough to drive a good woman mad, especially when she had a husband who’s gone so much, and Mary blamed me. Not just for being gone, but for the four boys and for getting her pregnant with Cathie. We weren’t exactly prepared for another one, and it took some…adjusting.”