A Love Like This

by Maria Duffy

  She went back into her own room and pulled a tracksuit out of the wardrobe. She was going to go and have a celebration of her own. Lexie would know what they should do. Lexie was her next-door neighbour and her best friend in the world. The two girls had been friends all their lives, having a common bond of a dysfunctional family. Lexie’s parents had handed her over to her grandmother when she was born because they were both hippies and wanted to go and live in a commune in Spain. Apparently they’d always planned to come and get Lexie as soon as they were settled but that had never happened and, last she’d heard, they were busking on the streets of Greece. Donna always hoped that they’d never come back. She couldn’t imagine a life without her best friend.

  She heard a cough and a splash from her mother’s room as she passed and wrinkled her nose in disgust. She couldn’t wait to get out of there. Lexie’s granny was nice and might even let them bake a cake. Donna loved baking but it wasn’t very often they could afford ingredients. Back downstairs, she slid her hand down the back of the old sofa and found eighty pence. At least it would get her and Lexie a packet of crisps and a lolly.

  ‘Happy birthday to me.’

  * * *

  ‘So what do you want to do, then?’ asked Lexie, as the two girls sat on a wall close to the shops on the main road. ‘We could always ask Granny to bring us to the Phoenix Park and go in the playground for a while.’

  Donna shook her head. ‘Nah. I probably shouldn’t stay out for too long. Tina said she’d be home at lunch time and she’ll be worried if I’m not there.’

  ‘But it’s your birthday. We have to do something.’

  ‘It’s a load of shite, isn’t it?’ Donna sighed. ‘One day of the year that’s supposed to be special and my stupid mother goes and gets herself drunk.’

  Lexie put an arm around her and pulled her close. ‘Don’t worry about her, Donna. I know exactly what will add a bit of excitement to your day.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  Lexie’s eyes twinkled. ‘Let’s go down to O’Malley’s and pick up some sweets. Granny said we can bake but she only has the flour and eggs and stuff. We could make a cake and decorate it with the sweets we get.’

  ‘But eighty pence isn’t going to get us much. Unless you mean …’

  ‘Well, there’ll be a crowd in there after mass and if we just happen to accidentally bump into the sweet display and some stuff accidentally falls into our pockets, what can we do about it?’

  Donna’s eyes lit up and she hopped down from the wall. ‘Well, what are we waiting for? You’re a bad influence on me, Lexie Byrne. But thank God I have you!’

  Twenty minutes later they were back on the wall, giggling at the memory of the clueless shopkeeper who was so addled by the queue of customers that he didn’t notice the two girls filling their pockets.

  ‘We’ll make a brilliant cake with this lot,’ said Lexie, emptying half a carton of Smarties into her mouth. ‘You can get Tina to come in to ours and we’ll have a little party.’

  Donna felt sad all of a sudden. She should be having a celebration in her own house, not in the next-door neighbour’s. How could her mother have forgotten something as important as her tenth birthday? It just wasn’t fair.

  Lexie must have noticed her change in mood. ‘What’s wrong, Donna? Are you not having a good time?’

  ‘Of course I am. I was just thinking about Mam. She never forgets my birthdays. Maybe she’s up by now and getting something organised.’

  ‘I doubt it. Judging by the state you said she was in, she probably doesn’t even remember her own name. Stupid bitch.’

  ‘Don’t talk about her like that!’ Donna jumped down from the wall and glared at her friend. ‘She’s not always like that. In fact, she usually makes sure I have a really good time on my birthday. Maybe she had some bad news … or she felt sad … or—’

  ‘Stop making excuses for her, Donna. Now, are you going to let her ruin your birthday or are you coming to mine?’

  Donna paused for a minute before nodding. ‘You’re right. Why should I worry about her when she obviously doesn’t care about me? Let’s go and make that cake.’

  ‘And it looks like we might even be able to get ourselves some party decorations,’ said Lexie, nodding her head in the direction of the shops.

  An old lady was walking towards them with a boy who was holding a bunch of helium balloons. They were those expensive metallic ones. Donna felt a pang of jealousy at the look of excitement on his face. She could tell by the look of him that he was a rich kid, probably used to getting whatever he wanted.

  ‘What are you suggesting, Lexie?’

  Lexie produced a penknife from her pocket. ‘One snip of this and they can be ours!’

  ‘Jesus, where did you get that?’

  ‘John O’Reilly nicked it out of his da’s toolbox and I said I’d be his girlfriend if he gave it to me. Right, here they come. Let’s walk behind them and when I say go, you grab a handful of the balloons and I’ll cut the strings.’

  Donna’s heart was beating like crazy. The boy looked to be around her own age. He was lovely-looking, with black hair and a tanned face. She met his eye as they passed by and felt slightly guilty for what they were about to do. Amazingly, the balloons even had ‘10’ printed on them, which probably meant it was his birthday too. Ah well, chances were they’d just go back to the shop and buy another bunch afterwards.

  ‘Go!’ said Lexie, and the two girls ran up behind the woman and boy. It all happened in a flash. Donna managed to grab a handful of the balloons, which were wrapped tightly around the boy’s hand. Lexie cut the strings, sending some of them up in the air but some stayed firmly in Donna’s hands. Both girls ran like crazy around the corner and towards home. The balloons tangled up as they flew in the wind behind them and the screams of the old lady could be heard echoing down the street. As they approached their houses, they looked behind but there was nobody in sight. They’d gotten away with it.

  ‘That was so much fun,’ Lexie puffed, holding her sides. ‘Come on. Let’s go in and get started on making that cake.’

  Donna hesitated. ‘I’d better just check to see if Tina is home first. And if she’s not, I’ll leave her a note to follow us in.’

  They walked into the house but it was still quiet. Donna felt a lump in her throat. It looked like Lexie was right. It seemed like her mother wouldn’t be making an appearance after all.

  ‘I’ll just grab a pen and let Tina know we’re next door.’ She opened the kitchen cupboard that was home to all manner of stuff and that’s when she saw it. It was small and no doubt cheap, but Donna’s eyes opened wide when she saw the boxed cake together with a packet of candles and a bag of six balloons. She knew it! Her mother hadn’t forgotten. She must have planned for them to have a little celebration.

  ‘What is it?’ asked Lexie, straining to see what Donna was looking at.

  ‘Hold on just a sec.’ Donna bounded up the stairs, half expecting to see her mother up and dressed and ready to come down, but her heart sank when she heard the snores again. She was still out for the count. Shit! It wasn’t meant to be like this. She turned and headed back downstairs. Part of her hated her mother at that moment but she felt a little glimmer of hope. At least she’d remembered.

  ‘What do you say we have a go at this?’ said Lexie, as Donna walked back into the kitchen. Lexie had found the half-empty bottle of vodka and was holding it up, her eyebrows raised. Donna hesitated for a moment and then nodded. It was her birthday, after all. Double figures. Almost a proper grown-up!

  Chapter 4

  November 1998

  ‘You’re walking home with me today, Donna,’ said Tina in her best mammy voice. ‘There’s something I want to talk to you about.’

  Donna slung her bag over her shoulder and shook her head. ‘We can talk later. Lexie is waiting. We’re going into town.’

  ‘Not today, you’re not.’

  Donna glared at her sister. ‘Who do you think you are,
telling me what to do? You know I always go to town on Thursdays after school.’

  ‘I know you do. And that’s what worries me.’

  ‘Oh for God’s sake,’ said Donna, moving aside as the hordes of school kids flocked past, buoyed up with the freedom of their half day. ‘I’m hardly a kid any more and what else would I be doing anyway?’

  ‘Come on, Donna. Are you coming or what?’ Lexie looked impatient as she and another two girls stood waiting.

  ‘I’ll be there in a sec.’ She turned to her sister. ‘Look, I haven’t time for a chat now but let’s catch up later.’

  ‘Sorry, girls,’ said Tina, turning to the group of waiting friends. ‘Donna has something else on today. She’s coming home with me.’

  ‘What the fuck?’ Donna was fuming. How dare her sister butt into her business like that. ‘This better be a life or death situation because otherwise you and me are going to fall out big time!’

  Tina sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Donna. But since Mam isn’t much use these days, I feel sort of responsible for you. And I can see where things are heading if I don’t intervene now. Come on, let’s walk.’

  Donna walked alongside her sister but she was getting nervous. Surely Tina didn’t know what she’d been up to. She’d always been so careful to hide it from her. She didn’t have to bother hiding stuff from her mother any more because she was drunk most of the time, but Tina was a different story. Although only fifteen, Tina was the real adult in the house. She controlled the money, when she managed to get it from their mother, and she did most of the cooking, washing and other housework. She even had a part-time cleaning job so she could contribute to the money coming into the house. Donna adored her, but she sometimes wished she’d be more of a sister and less of a goody two-shoes parent.

  ‘So, do you want to tell me what’s been going on?’ said Tina, as they walked towards home. ‘And don’t even think of lying to me.’

  ‘Wh– what do you mean?’ Shit. She definitely knew something.

  ‘You know damn well what I mean, Donna. I saw the wallets in the bedroom. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you come home from town every week with a new top or pair of trousers.’

  ‘It’s not every week and, besides, most of that stuff comes from charity shops.’ She knew Tina wasn’t buying it so she thought the angry approach might deflect things. ‘And what were you doing snooping in my stuff anyway? Am I not entitled to any privacy?’

  ‘Donna, you’re thirteen years old. It shouldn’t be my job to keep you in line but that’s the way it is, unfortunately.’

  ‘I know you mean well but –’

  ‘No buts, Donna. I can see the road you’re going down and I don’t like it one bit. It’s going to stop now.’

  They’d reached the house and Tina let them in with her key. As usual, there was no sign of their mother and the dirty dishes from that morning still lay on the table.

  ‘Right,’ Tina continued. ‘Get yourself a snack and change out of that uniform. Then you’re coming with me.’

  ‘But aren’t you going to work?’ Donna didn’t like where this was going.

  ‘Yes, I am. And you’re going to learn what it’s like to earn an honest crust.’

  Tina was gone upstairs before Donna had a chance to argue. She found a few slices of bread left from a sliced pan and took two to make a sandwich. There was nothing much in the fridge so she made do with some strawberry jam and plonked herself down on a kitchen chair to eat it.

  Tears stung her eyes as she looked around the filthy kitchen. Everything was going wrong. Why was her life so shit? She envied those girls in school who went home to a family who loved them. She’d gone home with Christine McEvoy a few times and she hadn’t wanted to leave. Christine’s mam had made a lovely roast dinner and they’d even had dessert after. But it wasn’t just the food. Mrs McEvoy had asked them about their day – about insignificant stuff – but at least she’d been interested. Her own mam didn’t know what day of the week it was, let alone what happened in school. When Donna had got her first period a few months back, it wasn’t her mother she’d gone to – it was Tina. Tina had provided her with pads and explained the whole process.

  Tina. She was the most wonderful sister in the world. Donna honestly didn’t know what she’d do without her. Suddenly she felt guilty. She’d let her down. If Tina had sussed out what she was doing, she must be really disappointed in her. She was disappointed in herself, to be honest. She’d never set out to do what she did, but it had just seemed so easy and it had become a habit.

  ‘So, do you want to explain to me what’s been going on, then?’ Tina appeared in the kitchen, interrupting Donna’s thoughts. ‘I know you’ve been stealing wallets so don’t even think of lying to me.’

  Donna looked at the table and played with the crumbs of her sandwich.

  ‘Come on, Donna. I want to help you. Talk to me.’

  ‘It’s not as bad as it seems. I only did it a few times.’ It was true. She and Lexie had just started their first year at secondary school this year and had been desperate to get in with the popular girls. A few of the second years had taken a shine to them and had allowed them to be part of their gang. She honestly hadn’t realised what being in their gang had entailed at first, and when it had become obvious, she was in too deep to get out.

  It all poured out now and Tina listened quietly. The older girls had brought her and Lexie into town one Thursday after school and told them that if they wanted to be part of the gang, they’d have to prove themselves. They were instructed to rob a wallet out of someone’s pocket or bag and bring it back to the waiting girls. Donna had balked at the idea at first but, in the end, she’d done it and it had been easier than she’d expected.

  Tina inhaled deeply. ‘So while I’m down on my hands and knees cleaning houses on a Thursday afternoon, you’re out in town robbing people’s hard-earned money.’

  Donna bowed her head and felt mortified but Tina continued. ‘And did it never occur to you that the people you’re taking from are most likely people like me – people who work hard and can little afford to have their money taken away from them.’

  ‘But I try to target people who look like they can afford it – people with bags from expensive shops and dressed in designer gear.’

  ‘And that makes it okay?’ Tina was shouting now. ‘Robbing money off anyone is wrong, no matter what way you try to justify it. And where have you been putting all this money? Have you just spent it on clothes and stuff?’

  ‘We rob the wallets and give them to the older girls. They take most of the cash out and leave us with a fiver or tenner – depending on what’s in there.’

  Tina shook her head. ‘You’re going to have to give me the names of these girls. They need to be stopped.’

  ‘NO!’

  ‘But, Donna, if they’re making you do these things, they should be reported.’

  ‘Please, Tina, please.’ Donna started to cry. Big fat tears plopped from her cheeks onto the kitchen table as she held her head in her hands. ‘I won’t do it any more. I promise. Me and Lexie never really wanted to. It was one thing robbing sweets or a few magazines but people’s money is totally different.’

  ‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that bit about you robbing sweets and magazines.’

  ‘I didn’t mean …’ Donna looked up and saw that Tina was smiling and she couldn’t help laughing. ‘I swear, I’m not going to do it any more. And I bet if I won’t, Lexie won’t. Just please don’t make me rat on the other girls.’

  ‘Right,’ said Tina, standing up. ‘If I have your word that you’ll stop, I’ll leave it at that for now. There’s enough shit going on in this house without me having to worry about what other kids are getting up to.’

  Donna stood up and hugged her sister. ‘You have my word. Now shouldn’t you be heading off to work? I’ll clean up a bit here and maybe make some bread to go with the leftover soup from yesterday.’

  ‘Nice try, Donna. But I’ve already t
old you – you’re coming with me.’

  ‘But I’ll be fine here. You know I’m not going into town so you don’t have to worry.’

  ‘It’s not negotiable. You’re going to come to work with me to learn a few things. It may not be glamorous but it’s an honest job and it’s good to feel you’ve earned the money in the end.’

  Donna sighed and went upstairs to change out of her uniform. Her sister didn’t often put her foot down but when she did, Donna knew not to go against her. Tina was her lifeline. Only for her, Donna would have been sent into state care long ago. Tina always ensured that she turned up for school every day with a clean uniform, a breakfast inside her and made sure that, despite the fact they had no parental supervision, they managed to lead a relatively normal life. So if Tina wanted her to roll her sleeves up and scrub some rich family’s dirt, then that’s what she’d do. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her sister.

  * * *

  ‘Goooooaaaallll!’ William pulled up the front of his school shirt and stuck it over his head as he ran around doing a victory dance. God, he loved football. He’d never really had a chance to participate in the sport when he was younger but now that he was in secondary school, he had a lot more freedom. Both his parents worked until at least seven every evening and his nan looked after him. She used to drive him home from primary school every day but he’d pleaded his case and was now allowed to walk home with his friends. And his nan was gullible. He’d tell her most days that he had a project to finish or some extra study to do and she’d never raise an eyebrow when he’d arrive home late. The truth was he could be found most days playing football with his friends in the school yard. It was ace.

  ‘I’d better head off home, lads,’ said William, tucking his shirt back into his trousers and picking up his bag. ‘It’s already a quarter to five. Anyone want to come to mine for a game of Playstation?’

  ‘Yes!’ said all three in unison, and William smiled to himself. His dad had organised for a guy in work to bring a game called Crash Bandicoot back from America a couple of weeks ago and, as it hadn’t even been released in Ireland yet, everyone wanted to be his friend.