by Sophia Gray
But for so long, I had worried about others and not myself. I would see to it that Mom was settled in. It wouldn’t be fair to uproot her, though. She would stay here, with her doctors. I would pay Clara to stay on with her. No matter how angry Anton would be with me, I did believe he wouldn’t take anything out on my mother, not after he told me about his parents.
Once I had Mom and Clara set up, I would find a way to take care of myself, and the baby. The leftover money from Anton should be enough to keep Mom up to date with the hospital and its many bills, and if that money did happen to run out, I’d go back to taking care of her, too. Everything would work out. Somehow.
I called a cab, instructed the driver to meet me a few blocks away and, after making sure no one saw me, left the house behind. The entire time I walked those blocks, I had to fight the urge to look behind me. And that was when it hit me. That I’d be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.
But I didn’t have a choice. I had to leave now, before the baby was born.
The cab arrived a few minutes later, and I instructed the driver to take me to my mom. I wasn’t sure where I would go afterward. I only knew I had to get away.
Funnily enough, I didn’t regret signing the contract. My hands rubbed my still flat stomach. I was going to be a mother. Anton had given me that. I had him to thank. Even if I was going to raise the child alone.
Goodbye, Anton. Please don’t hate me.
Chapter 24
Anton
My head was swimming. My body felt lighter than ever. Lily had a way of relaxing me, of making me forget about all of my troubles. Lily Nevison, the woman I had impregnated. The woman I had already paid one million to so I could have sex with her for the sole purpose of getting her pregnant.
The woman who drove me crazy and the woman I had fallen for.
The woman I just had sex with…or had it been lovemaking? I normally fucked women. I had never allowed myself to fall in love. In my business, it wasn’t wise to fall in love. Not when you had enemies like Vanya Golovkin.
So while my body felt lighter than ever, my head was filled with doubts and worries. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, and it wasn’t something I was used to. I would have my revenge against Golovkin. And sooner rather than later.
Things were changing between Lily and I — for the better and for the worse. I had always wanted to keep her safe, to keep her separate from my lifestyle. Would she understand my life, the hard calls I had to make to keep my men and me safe? It was doubtful, though she might, if I were willing to give up my quest for revenge. No one would be able to get me to stop, not even Lily. That was just not going to happen.
If I knew Lily, and I did, she was going to bring up the man I’d killed, and we might fight again. If it led to more sex, well, I wouldn’t complain, but this was definitely an issue. I had to figure out what to tell her, but not right now. As much as I wanted to go right back upstairs to her room, to crawl beside her beneath the covers, to hold her and explain everything, I couldn’t. I refused to let everything that happened with her distract me. In my line of business, distractions led to mistakes, and mistakes led to deaths. It was too big of a risk.
She was too big of a risk.
Enough worrying! I was a man of careful planning and precise action. I needed to focus on Golovkin, and Golovkin alone, if I wanted us all to survive.
What then, though? What if I did survive? What if Lily and I both came out of this? What if my revenge cost me her, even if she didn’t die? I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. The power of meditation was not to overlooked. It was powerful, a useful tool.
But clearing my mind proved almost impossible. I kept imagining scenarios in which bleak outcomes resulted: the thought of Lily not being in my life, the thought of the goodness she brought into my life being blotted out, and not even through death but through my own actions…it all made it hard for me to breathe.
No matter what, I had to ensure she would not die. Even if it meant we would go our separate ways. If she lived, nothing else mattered.
Opening my eyes, I squared my shoulders and marched down the hall to my bedroom. As quickly as I could, I stripped out of my clothes and showered, imagining Lily was the one washing my body the entire time. I got so hard thinking about her that I had to find my release. Between the soapsuds, the hot pulsating stream of water, my strokes, it didn’t take me long to orgasm.
My shower finished, I toweled off and changed my clothes. Then I called Nicolai and instructed him to have everyone come over to my place immediately. Most of my men lived nearby.
After I hung up, I settled myself for breakfast to give the men time to arrive. Lily didn’t show up, and I found myself looking toward the doorway every few minutes, hoping she would come. We had started to eat a fair amount of meals together, but maybe I had worn her out from all of the sex last night and she was still sleeping. Whatever she needed, I would take care of it. Speaking of which, she needed a doctor’s appointment scheduled. I wondered how far along she was. I’d have to have someone go out and get her prenatal vitamins. Weren’t there foods she should avoid while pregnant? Maybe I should get her some literature. Hell, I’d read it, too.
It seemed no matter what I did, I couldn’t keep her in the back of my mind for very long.
Once I finished eating, I stood. A servant stepped forward to clear the plate and started to hurry away. I cleared my throat, and she paused, waiting expectantly, a slight smile on her face. Olivia had been working for me for a long while. She was competent and was saving her money to be able to go to college. Even though she would be twenty years older than the other freshman, she wouldn’t let that stop her. I admired her determination. I tried to always surround myself with people who wanted something more out of their life, and that included my servants, not just my men in the mob.
“Make sure Lily gets whatever she wants,” I instructed.
“Of course.” She started to leave again.
“And if she wishes to eat in her room, that is fine.” Normally, I preferred meals to be eaten at the table, but comfort would be Lily’s middle name if I had my way.
“Yes, sir. Anything else?” Olivia asked.
“That is all.” I hesitated, and she lingered. “Do you have enough yet?”
Her face brightened. “I should by next fall.”
“That’s terrible,” I grumbled. “I hate to lose you.”
“Thank you, but, no offense, I really want to be a nurse.”
“You’ll make an excellent one. If you need anything, a connection to a hospital for hours, a referral, anything, let me know.”
“I will. Thank you. And…” Olivia cleared her throat. “I like Lily. I’ve always wondered if you would ever settle down, but I see why you waited.”
I’d never brought a woman to my house before. I always either went to her place or we fucked at my bar or in a hotel room. Lily had broken a lot of barriers for me, and obviously I wasn’t the only one to realize that. “Lily was worth the wait,” I said simply.
Olivia grinned and left, and I departed the dining room for my largest office. All of my men were already there, crammed and waiting for me.
“I apologize for the delay,” I said as I closed the door behind me. I adjusted my sport coat sleeves. For some reason, I had dressed up today. I needed the boost I got from my suit. Power. Control. Domination. I craved respect. I desired revenge. I would have results. I strolled around the room to make my way behind my desk. I didn’t bother to sit, just leaned down, my hands near the edge. “I have finally made some headway against Golovkin. He has been paying off transactions of a Garcia Trucking company.” My gaze rounded the room, and I shut my mouth when I spotted Alec. I hadn’t expected him to show up.
Alec nodded from his perch in the back corner of the office.
“Do you have any news?” I demanded, paranoid his appearance meant ill news.
The men near Alec moved away so he could be clearly seen. “Isabella has ment
ioned her father does a lot of business with them,” he said.
“Interesting.” I rubbed my chin. I hadn’t realized just how much information we would be able to get out of the girl. Hadn’t thought Golovkin would be the kind to tell his daughter everything. Yes, she had voiced discontentment to Alec, which was why she was feeding him intel as it was. Was she giving us bad information? Was she her father’s daughter after all?
“What’s the next step?” Alec asked, his voice cutting the silence like a roll of thunder.
“I want you to go back to Isabella and find out everything she knows. As for the rest of you…” I stared at each of my men in turn and cracked my knuckles. “I have assignments for you all.”
***
My face wasn’t as recognizable as you would think given I was the head of a mob. Fucking women who worked for newspapers and other media outlets and knew how to keep me on the down low was a perk I enjoyed time and again. It also meant if I wanted to go undercover myself, it remained a viable option.
And I did wish to go undercover myself this time. The rush I had felt while breaking into Golovkin’s car business the other night hadn’t left me. This was a part of me. The danger. The allure. The drive. I had been born and raised into a mob family, and I would live and die by it. I would, but I wasn’t about to force Lily to live and die by it, too.
I didn’t want to take my chances on being recognized, though, so I wore a scruffy-looking wig and colored contacts. My suit was one from Wal-Mart instead of my typical designer ones. As far as disguises went, it wasn’t over the top, but it would be more than enough to serve my purposes. I wasn’t worried about being recognized.
The final piece of my disguise was a worn-looking rental car. I even changed up my driving, following by the rules and letting people go ahead of me. Not that I was a terrible ass of a driver normally.
After checking the rearview mirror throughout my leisurely drive to ensure I wasn’t being tailed, I parked in front of the Garcia Trucking office. It was a typical warehouse with a ton of trucks parked out front, along the side, and probably a bunch more out back. The concrete building was three stories tall, square rather than rectangular, and it seemed so ordinary I just knew something was off.
I fiddled with my collar, already acting like a person uncomfortable in his own skin, and climbed out of the car. It beeped its lock behind me as I strolled up to the front door. No bells chimed as I opened it.
A haggard secretary sat behind the desk. Her dark hair had strands of gray mixed in and was somewhat fashioned into a bun. Her lipstick was a terrible shade of purple, and from her frumpy clothes, slumped shoulders, and dejected air, I knew she would be easy to dispose of. All it would take was a little something she obviously didn’t often get — attention. Even looking like this, I had a feeling she would look twice at me. No one else was around, so once I got rid of her, I would be in the clear.
I adjusted my slightly ill-fitting sport coat and strolled up to the counter, a confused expression on my face. I cleared my throat. “Hello…”
“Sharon,” she said without bothering to look up at me, her gaze glued to her computer screen.
“Sharon,” I repeated slowly, drawing out her name. I placed my hands on her desk and leaned forward, toward her.
She looked up, and I straightened. Her gaze went from my face on down to my belt and back up again. “Y-yes,” she said, sitting back in her seat and flashing me a ghost of a smile. “How can I help you?”
“I’m sure you can be a big help.” I helped myself to one of the pens from the cup she was using as a pen holder and rubbed my fingers up and down the length of it. Women loved long fingers.
She licked her lips, her gaze following the movement of my fingers. “You are…”
“I’m looking to expand on my business,” I said smoothly, trying to figure out the best way to get her to go hide away in the back so I could snoop.
“You’re a businessman?” She gave me another once over, her interest visibly increasing. I offered her a smile, and her ghost of a smile grew into a huge grin. Some of her purple lipstick stained her front teeth.
“Yes, I am,” I said proudly, standing up even straighter and holding onto my sport coat like I was the most important man in the world to ever wear a suit from Wal-Mart.
“That’s great,” she gushed enthusiastically. “How can I help you?”
“Well,” I said slowly, “I’d love to know the pros and cons of working with your business. Why should I go with you over your competitors?”
“We have a longstanding history,” she started.
I ignored her and bent down over her desk. “I need more than just a pretty smile to sway me, I’m afraid. Although you do have a pretty smile.”
“Thank you.” Obviously flustered, she fiddled with her hair, causing her messy bun to fall apart. She scrambled to fix it. “Ah, well, um…”
“Do you have pamphlets?” I offered. Now I knew exactly how to get rid of her.
“Oh, yes, of course!” She rummaged through her drawers and grabbed several. “Here you are!” She shoved them at me.
Time to say goodbye. I glanced at them and sighed. I shook my head and rubbed my chin. “I’m afraid this isn’t quite enough. I need more. What makes your company stand out? What makes you better than—”
“I can…” She bit her lower lip and tugged at the collar of her frumpy shirt. “If you would prefer, I can get the vice president. He’s in a meeting right now…” She glanced at her computer. “No. The meeting should be over by now. Yes. I’ll go and see if he can spare some time to talk to you. It might be a little bit before I return,” she warned. “Make yourself comfortable. Through there,” she pointed to the right, “is our food area. Help yourself to some coffee while you wait.”
“Thank you.” This time, my smile was genuine.
I waited until Sharon disappeared through a door to the left. Without wasting a second, I bolted around the desk to her seat. She had remained logged into her account. Even better. She was so happy to please me she didn’t realize how good of a job she was at doing just that.
There weren’t heavy firewalls or security measures, so even though I was looking for covert information, I was able to find it relatively easily. Fucking that computer hacker had been beneficial even if she had had terrible breath. She’d taught me plenty about 0s and 1s.
Here it was. Records of money being transferred into offshore accounts. I whipped out my cell phone and took pictures of the files. Then I did a search for Golovkin. That required even more digging, but eventually I did find his name and enough to link him to a lot of money. After snapping more pictures, I backed out of the files and covered my tracks. Adjusting my coat, I stood, marched around the desk, and left. When I was driving away, I peeked through the window to see Sharon and a tall, thin man emerge from the side door. Too late. Got what I needed. Thank you, Sharon. You were quite helpful indeed.
Feeling triumphant, I sped away. It was only a matter of time before I would have everything I wanted.
Chapter 25
Lily
The cab sped away from Anton’s street and I watched the scenery, trying not to get sick. It was terrible, this feeling inside of me. I felt like I was being torn into two. I didn’t regret my decision. I knew what I was doing was the best choice for my baby. It was.
But the fact that I was thinking of the baby as mine…that legally shouldn’t be the case. Anton Kovalsky had paid me one million dollars in exchange for my uterus. And here I was, essentially stealing from him. Kidnapping. Well, it wouldn’t really be kidnapping until after the baby was born, but still.
I didn’t know for sure how he would react when he found out I’d left, but considering he had just killed a man, I wasn’t about to stick around. Life with Anton wasn’t safe. I should’ve run away when that man came up to me and threatened Anton. That was my first mistake. Falling for Anton had been my second. That was why leaving was so hard. Just focus on the man he killed. Anton
’s a mobster. You know that. He’s probably killed before, and he’ll kill again. That’s not the kind of life you want for your child, right? So just leave already.
Before I could leave town, though, I had to explain everything to my mom. I wasn’t going to disappear until after she knew everything, until after I had squared things with her so she would be taking care of.
The cab driver pulled up in front of Mom’s place. Exhaling deeply, I climbed out of the cab and paid the driver before removing my small amount of belongings. This was all I had. I might grab a few more things here but not a ton. I needed to hit the road. Get away from here. Find a new town. Get a job. Start over.