“Nothing’s wrong. It’s not a cold shoulder.” Her eyes met his briefly, enough so he saw that something was definitely wrong. “I have to go. They’re having the party early so I can still open the bar. I need to help out.”
“Then I’ll come with you. I’ll bring my manual. I can study there too. Your brothers invited me. Both of them, twice. How can I turn down four invitations?”
She studied him for a long moment. “I don’t think you should come.” And she fled down the front path.
His jaw dropped. Katie was blowing him off after a wild night of sexual bliss. She’d come as hard as he had. He knew it. She’d been just as affected as he had. So why was she treating him like this now?
She hopped in her car and drove off without a single look back.
Fine.
He closed the door with a satisfying slam and went back to the manual. He should focus on his exam anyway. Getting back on the force mattered more than anything else. But for some reason his concentration was shot. The words on the page blurred before his eyes. The more he thought about Katie’s behavior, the angrier he got. He’d been nothing but sweet and respectful to her, and that wasn’t even counting the orgasms he’d given her. How dare she walk out on him?
He slammed the manual shut and strode into his bedroom to get dressed. Her brothers had invited him to the party, and he was damn well going to show up, no matter what Katie said.
Katie spread the yellow-checkered picnic cloth over the patio table. Disaster. Catastrophe. Just as she’d expected. Stupid girl, she’d fallen hopelessly, irrevocably in love with the unattainable Ryan Blake.
Maybe the sight of him studying had been the last straw. That little crease between his eyebrows made the bottom of her stomach drop out. Or maybe it had happened the moment he’d first walked into the Hair of the Dog. All she knew was that when he’d looked up from his manual, she’d seen nothing but open, warm friendliness in his eyes.
If a cliff had been nearby, she would have been sorely tempted to walk off it. To make matters worse, her father had cornered her as soon as she’d arrived at the house.
“I’ve got an offer for you, Katie girl. An offer you can’t refuse.”
She still hadn’t processed it.
At the grill, Jake ripped open a package of hot dogs and tossed them on the flames. “Your boyfriend coming?”
“He’s not . . .” Oh, why bother. “No.”
“Damn. We need some new blood for the Posedown.”
“You need a new game instead of that stupid Posedown.”
“Posedown is not a game.” Jake brandished the spatula at her.
“Yeah, yeah. First rule of Posedown, you don’t talk about Posedown. Second rule of Posedown, we girls have to admire all the big muscles.” Her bad mood spilled over. “Ryan’s not coming because he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous?”
She looked up sharply. Ryan, hands in pockets, strolled through the back gate onto the patio. Grinning, Jake slapped him on the back.
“Knew you wouldn’t pass up a chance to show off your muscles.”
Ryan’s summer-blue gaze lingered on Katie. The dangerous look in his eyes sent little tendrils of excitement through her. Todd appeared with a plate of burgers.
“Ryan, glad you showed. Ready for Posedown?”
Ryan shrugged. “Someone’s going to have to explain it to me.”
“Not much to it.” Jake winked and tossed the spatula onto the table. He stripped off his T-shirt and flexed his arms over his head until his biceps jumped. “That’s about it. You pose until your blood vessels are about to pop.”
Katie felt herself turning red. “My family’s . . . um . . . a little competitive.”
Todd handed Katie the plate of hamburgers and stripped off his shirt. He bent over like a gorilla and clenched his chest muscles. A ridge of sinew stood out along his neck.
“Nothing wrong with competition,” grunted Jake, his face turning red. “Who’s winning, Gidge?”
Katie wanted to sink into the ground. Her brothers were like oversize kids. Why couldn’t they act like normal people for once and keep their shirts on?
“Ryan, join in any time.” Todd squeezed the words through white, clenched lips. “Gidget, hurry. My veins are popping. And my elbow’s not too happy.”
Ryan met her eyes. She shook her head in a horrified no. An unpleasant smile touched his lips. In slow motion, he reached for the bottom of his T-shirt. He was pulling his shirt over his head when Bridget and their mother appeared with platters of sliced tomatoes, cheese, and hamburger buns.
“Oh my,” said Nina. “That’s not Doug, is it?”
“Doug never did Posedown,” said Bridget. “That’s Ryan.”
“Frank, get out here! Looks like the boys will have some competition!”
Katie’s father had holed himself up with his gnomes, sulking because the doctor had banned him from Posedown. But now he came barreling out.
“Goddamn!” he bellowed at the sight of the three bare-chested men. “Kills me not to do Posedown. Kills me!”
“Don’t you dare, Frank,” warned his wife, clutching at his arm. “Let the boys duke it out.”
“I could take ’em. I swear I could.”
Bridget hadn’t taken her eyes off Ryan. He’d thrown himself into the goofy spirit of the event. He’d adopted a kind of Egyptian pose, one arm curled over his head, biceps bulging, while the other twisted behind his back. He bared his teeth in a mock snarl. Sunshine bounced off the golden hairs on his skin. “I don’t know, Dad. You might get Mom’s vote, but Ryan’s got the girl bloc sewn up.”
Katie gritted her teeth. The sight of shirtless Ryan was torture enough. But Ryan hanging out as if he were part of the family? As if they were really together? Not fair. Her heart couldn’t take it. She tossed the platter of burgers on the picnic table and marched to Ryan’s side. She grabbed his wrist, where the taut tendons stretched the skin, and yanked him out of his pose.
“Ryan forfeits,” she informed her family over her shoulder.
She headed for the gate, nearly tripping over a stray garden gnome.
“I think I could have won. Damn, Vader would love this event. We’ll have to do one at the firehouse.”
“Would you please put your shirt on?” she hissed.
“Nope. Not until you explain why you keep walking out on me.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You come to my house, we make love, then you run for the hills at the first chance. I’m tired of it.”
“You’re tired of it?” Anger flashed through her. What was tired compared to heartbroken? “Is that why you came here, to get revenge?”
“Revenge?” He scowled at her. They’d reached the front yard now, and she saw his big black Chevy. The truck where they’d first made love. His bare chest drew her attention, the sun gleaming on his skin. She blinked and tried to look away.
“Katie, give me an honest answer. You’re the girl who doesn’t lie, remember? Are you upset with me? Didn’t I please you last night?”
The touch of vulnerability in his voice undid her. “Of course you pleased me.”
“Good.” He grabbed her hand. A shock of lust traveled all the way to the soles of her feet. His voice thickened. “Come with me. I want you again. Already. I don’t know what it is you do to me, but I can’t get enough.”
Numb, she let him drag her toward the truck. The sight of his muscles moving under the bare skin of his back hypnotized her. Being with Ryan was like falling down a rabbit hole. If she went too much farther, she’d never come back.
She dug in her heels. “No. I can’t.”
He spun around and planted his hands on her shoulders. “Why not? What’s going on?”
“Why aren’t you studying? Your exam’s this afternoon, isn’t it?”
“Is that it? You’re worried about me getting my job back?”
Sure. That sounded good. “It’s not easy finding a good
bartender.”
But he wasn’t falling for it. He narrowed his eyes at her. “What does that matter? You’re not going to stay there forever anyway. You hate it.”
She stuck out her chin and forced the words out of her mouth. “As a matter of fact, my father just offered to sign the business over to me. I guess he thinks I’m doing a good job.”
Suddenly still, he studied her. Awareness of his hands on her shoulders burned through her. “Is that what you want?”
What she wanted? This wasn’t about what she wanted. She wanted Ryan more than anything, but she couldn’t tell him that. “No, it’s not what I want. It’s the last thing I want. I’d even rather go back to grad school. But I don’t have a choice anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Why do you think?” she practically yelled at him.
She could see the wheels turning. If she’d ever thought Ryan wasn’t smart, she knew better now. In no time, he’d put it together. “Because you gave all your money to John Springer. Fuck. I told you not to give him anything. How much?”
Dumbly, she shook her head.
“How much did you give him?”
“Nine thousand dollars.”
He went white. “Come on. We’re going inside. You have to tell your parents. It’s not right that you should sacrifice your future to some asshole criminal.”
“No. No.” She fought against his relentless tug toward the house as if her life depended on it. “I’ll deny it. I swear to God, I will. I’ll never forgive you.”
He finally stopped, but didn’t let go of her arm. He stared down at her, all playfulness gone. “This isn’t right, Katie. You’re going to spend your life in that bar, hating every second?”
“I don’t hate every second.” She liked the seconds when he was around, but he’d be gone the instant he passed his exam. “I only hate every third second or so. The other two are just fine.”
His lips quirked. Then his Adam’s apple moved. He snorted. A wide smile spread across his face. He laughed, and that beloved, playful sound, along with the summery light in his eyes and the goddamn groove in his cheek, flooded her being.
He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “You know I get a kick out of you.”
Lead, sick and heavy, settled in the bottom of her stomach. “You get a kick out of me?”
“Yes. A big kick.”
“Well, stop.” She brushed his hand away from her face. No touching. Not now. Not while he was breaking her heart. “No more kicks.”
“What are you talking about?” He loomed over her, frowning with blue-eyed confusion.
“I want you to leave me alone.” She turned blindly, desperate to get away before she started crying.
But he stopped her again, all trace of that easygoing Ryan charm gone. “No. What’s going on, Katie?”
“Let me go!”
“Not a chance. Something’s wrong and I want to know what. I’m your friend, you can tell me.”
At that, Katie lost it completely. She wanted to rip that concerned look off his face with her bare hands, but his grip on her kept her pinned to the ground. “That’s what’s wrong, you idiot!”
“What?”
“I’m in love with you! And to you, I’m a friend. And you get a kick out of me. A kick!” She emphasized the point with an actual kick at the air between them.
His grip loosened, his arm fell away from her shoulder. Every part of his body went slack, including his jaw. Even his bare chest looked shocked. And she couldn’t bring herself to look at his face. What would she see there? Pity? Alarm? Joy? But no . . . if he wanted her to love him, he would have said something by now. Instead the silence dragged on, and on, and on. She wanted to die right there on the spot.
She ducked under his arm and ran for her car.
“Wait,” he called, but his voice sounded weak and confused, as if he knew he ought to say something but couldn’t think what.
“No. Forget about it, Ryan. Forget any of this ever happened.”
When she finally dared a look at his face, it was in the rearview mirror as she pulled away from the curb. He stood, bare-chested and gorgeous, hands fisted in his pockets, staring down at her parents’ lawn.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Forget about it? Not likely, although Ryan almost wished he could. Katie loved him? She was in love with him? It felt like a new vocabulary word he had to learn. Zeke hadn’t ever used it. His former girlfriends had used it in a casual way, a love-ya kind of way. Come to think of it, had he ever in his life told someone he loved her, or him?
Nothing came to mind. He loved the guys at the firehouse. He loved Brody. But he hadn’t ever told them so. The very thought made him choke.
When she’d said—well, yelled—the words, a strange feeling had come over him. A warm, tender, itchy, unfamiliar feeling that made him want to find a fire to blast a hose at.
He checked his watch. Almost time for his exam. Brody was probably already waiting for him at the station. He jammed his foot on the accelerator. He didn’t have time to work this out right now. He had a job to win back.
In Captain Brody’s quiet office, he sat down facing the implacable charcoal eyes of his mentor. The six binders of the Manual of Operations sat on the desk in front of him. As if to emphasize the seriousness of the occasion, Stan had been banished from the office.
“Are you ready for this, Ryan?”
“Yes, sir.” He didn’t usually call the captain “sir,” but the situation seemed to call for it.
“You’ve been studying?”
“I know that manual inside and out.”
Brody nodded thoughtfully. “Did Katie Dane help you?”
“No. Not at all,” he answered, more forcefully than he intended. “The opposite.”
Brody raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“Got a little distracted.”
Brody looked at him steadily. Something about that calm attitude of his drew the words right out of Ryan’s mouth.
“When I should have been studying, I was shaking my ass at a bachelorette party, thanks to her. Then I had to go see my father to check out some . . . lowlife she got hooked up with. Not to mention—” Just in time, he stopped himself from telling the whole story of Katie’s nefarious deeds. “Well, I had to keep an eye out for fire. Place has bad luck when it comes to fires.”
“Sounds like you’ve been busy,” said Brody.
“Damn right. I haven’t had time for anything else besides watching over Katie. And studying.”
Brody nodded, considering him. “Well, let’s give this a whirl, shall we?” He opened the manual. “We’ll start with wildland fire procedures.”
But Ryan’s mind was still wrapped up in Katie. “It doesn’t seem right that a smart girl like her would get stuck doing something that doesn’t suit her. She hates running the bar. And she’s gotten bored with graduate school. She doesn’t like people much, is the problem. Except kids. Loves kids. They love her too. You should have seen her with Danielle. And now her father wants to sign the Hair of the Dog over to her. It’s not fair. It’s not right. She deserves to choose what she wants. She could do anything. Well, anything that doesn’t involve a lot of people. People are not her thing.”
Brody closed the manual, holding his place with his thumb. “She seems to like you pretty well.”
“She says she lo—” He stopped himself before he said the whole word.
Brody cocked his head. Ryan snapped his mouth shut and pressed his lips together. He wasn’t ready to talk about this.
Brody flipped open a binder. “Well, then—”
“The thing is,” burst out Ryan. “I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about her. I worry about her when I’m not there. She has a way of getting into trouble, even though she means well. And she has this loser ex-boyfriend who won’t leave her alone. And her family calls her whenever they need something. Ride to the airport. Make burgers for a barbecue. Pick up a gnome at the hardware store. Run the bar. And she
does it. She has a big heart, that’s the thing. She loves her family. She’ll do anything for them. But that’s not always a good thing.” He shook his head at Brody when the captain seemed about to speak. “Sometimes she goes too far. It’s like she doesn’t think she has a right to a life of her own. Her brothers get to go off and play baseball. Did I mention their whole family is athletic? Bridget teaches step class. She’s supposedly the beauty of the family, although to me, Katie has her beat by a mile.”
Brody snapped the manual shut. “Did I mention this exam is about the procedures and policies of the San Gabriel Fire Department, not the life of Katie Dane?”
“Oh. Of course, Cap. Sorry.” Ryan collected himself. Katie’s declaration of love had completely thrown him. “I’m ready. Let’s do this.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
Brody opened the manual and read. “ ‘All responding fire companies shall utilize and establish LCES.’ Walk me through it, step by step.”
“LCES. It means you select Lookouts, establish Communications, identify Escape routes, and select Safety zones.” As Ryan concentrated on answering the questions Brody threw at him, the image of Katie danced at the edge of his mind the entire time. When Brody finally stopped firing questions, he couldn’t remember a single one of them.
“Thanks for coming in, Ryan. I’ll let you know what I decide.”
“Thanks, Cap.” He hauled himself to his feet, feeling wrung out.
“Before you go, one thing.” The gleam in Brody’s eye made Ryan distinctly nervous.
“Yeah?”
“Have you considered the possibility that you might be in love with Katie?”
Ryan stared at his captain. Was some kind of crazy love virus going around that made everyone harp on that particular word? “Are you nuts?”
“Have you ever been in love before?”
Ryan wanted to say something easy like, Not since my first dirt bike, but the question seemed to call for a more serious approach. He considered it the way Brody would, carefully, thoughtfully.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I haven’t had many examples of . . . love . . . in my life. Except you and Melissa.”
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