I made fists and felt my heart racing. “Darling, stop talking and go to sleep.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, asshole,” she called out.
She kicked me in the ass and laughed.
I looked over my shoulder and watched her try to kick me again. I turned and grabbed her ankle.
“Aira. Go to sleep.”
She opened her legs and bit her bottom lip.
My hands started to shake as the temptation soared through me.
My left hand then slowly slid up her leg. She took a shaky breath and nodded.
Fingertips cutting to the inside of her thigh, to the bottom of her shorts. I paused for a second before sliding my fingers up her shorts. She put her feet to the bed and lifted her ass off the bed, letting out a sigh as she put her head back.
When I touched between her legs, over her panties, feeling her intense warmth, I pressed and made a circle with my fingers.
“Oh, fuck,” she groaned.
I ripped my hand away and made a fist again.
“Wes… where’d you go?”
“I’m right here,” I said. “Just go to sleep.”
“Tell me about your brother,” she said.
“I will in the morning.”
“He’s dead. He died. And I never met him.”
“I know that, darling.”
“I could have died. In the fire. Or tonight.”
“You didn’t die, Aira. You’re okay.”
“You saved me.”
I didn’t respond.
I just let her go.
She lowered her ass to the bed and turned to her right side.
She curled up tight.
I pulled the covers from under her and covered her up.
“Wes,” she whispered with her eyes shut.
“Aira,” I whispered back.
“Hold my hand so I can sleep.”
I crouched down at the side of the bed.
Aira shot her hand out and almost punched me in the mouth.
I blocked the drunk punch and put my hand over hers. I slowly interlocked our fingers and held her hand.
She took a deep breath and sighed.
“I bet we get married,” she whispered. “And have a great life.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I bet.”
Her eyes slowly opened. “I know you fucked Emma. I’m really jealous of that. I wish you had never fucked anyone but me.”
There was nothing I could do or say about my past.
“Aira… I love you,” I said.
“I know,” she said. “I’m sort of cool. Like really fucking cool. And nobody will love you like I do.”
I nodded and grinned.
Aira finally dozed off.
I waited until she started to gently snore.
I peeled my hand away from hers and kissed the back of her hand.
When I stood up, I just stared.
I thought about Azel. Everything that had happened to that poor kid. How fucked up and lost I was. How he was the only thing that kept me from going over the edge for good. And then suddenly he was gone. Which sent me over the edge.
I felt the same with Aira.
She was holding me… keeping me safe from myself.
But that was a lie.
There was no keeping me from me.
Or keeping me from anyone who wanted to hurt Aira.
I would kill for her.
I would die for her.
And that would just ruin all her pretty and perfect dreams of us.
Chapter 12
Aira
My eyes felt like boulders rested on them.
It took me forever to open them, even a little.
When I did, I groaned.
Then I stopped.
The groaning made my head vibrate and when my head vibrated that’s when the pain pulsed. A searing and striking pain right through the middle of my head. So bad that I touched my head to make sure it wasn’t split open or something.
My eyes finally regained enough focus for me to figure out where I was.
Shit.
I was in Wes’s bed.
I threw the covers off and when I saw I was fully clothed, I let out a sigh.
The night was somewhat of a blur. Bits and pieces came back to me as I forced myself to sit up. My entire body hurt. Like I had been in a car accident.
That’s when I remembered what had almost happened.
In that bedroom.
Jacob.
Everything he did and said.
I sucked in a shaky breath, my chin quivering.
I slowly stood up and swallowed down all the emotion that wanted to come out. There was no use and no need to cry. It had happened. Well, almost happened.
Wes saved me.
And he beat the hell out of Jacob.
I really didn’t remember much of him bringing me to Jett’s place. But waking up with all my clothes on…
I walked to the window which had a perfect view of the ocean. The one constant thing in this town. The waves never stopped crashing. The tides never stopped.
The sight was beautiful. Peaceful. The opposite of the night before.
I had to face it though. I had to face it all.
It was just another piece of Hidden Creek High that I didn’t quite understand. Why they all hated people from Bay Falls High. Or better yet, why those people threw a party in Hidden. It seemed like everyone was just going to be there and party. Drink. Listen to music. Probably dare each other to see who would jump into the pool naked. Or run down to the ocean.
Instead…
I backed away from the window and exited the bedroom.
The house was big and quiet. The upstairs was brighter than the downstairs. It definitely had the flare of Jett and Wes. It was almost like being in the home of a rock star.
When I entered the kitchen, my eyes went right to the coffee on the counter.
Already made.
A black mug on the counter waiting for me.
The smell made my mouth water a little and even made the throbbing pain in my head ease up just a little.
I heard the sound of the sliding door opening and saw Wes coming inside.
“Darling,” he said. He hurried to shut the door and move toward me. “How do you feel?”
I quickly put my hand out because I didn’t want him hugging me or kissing me.
Why not, Aira? What are you fighting this for?
I didn’t have a good answer.
But Wes stopped.
“I feel like hell,” I whispered.
“I’m sure you do. You were feeling it last night.”
“Yeah. I guess I was.”
“Do you remember anything?”
I raised my eyebrow. “Of course I remember. Everything.”
“Even when we got back here?”
“Wait. What happened here?”
Wes grinned. “So you don’t remember everything.”
“Wes…”
“Relax, Aira. There’s a lot of things you can call me. And most of it is probably all true. But I would never do anything like that when you were drunk. Even if you wanted it.”
“I wanted it?”
“You were begging for it.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m not lying,” he said. “It wasn’t easy to walk away.”
“Where did you sleep?”
“Oh, I slept right next to you,” Wes said. “Just in case you needed me. Or got sick.”
“Did I get sick?”
“No. I have no idea how though.”
“I feel sick right now. Thinking about it.”
Wes inched closer to me. He poured me a cup of coffee. “I don’t know what to say about that, Aira.”
I reached for Wes’s hand. When my fingers slid around his hand, I squeezed.
“Wes…”
He pulled his hand away. “Enjoy your coffee.”
He walked through the kitchen to the door and went outside again.
The kitch
en was so bright that it hurt my head. I chased after Wes, coffee in hand, and once the sunlight hit me, it was even worse. I let out a groan and wished it was night again. I put my hand to my head like that was going to block out all of the warm sun.
Wes just stood there with his back to me. I watched the way his t-shirt clung to his back. How strong he was now. When he used to torture me when we were kids, he was this tall, scrawny kid. But his eyes and his attitude made up for it. There was nothing Wes wouldn’t do back then. Trouble was a game and he always won. But since that time, everything changed him. The same way it had changed me.
He was tall, strong, living in the world and the secrets that HCH had to offer. All he ever wanted to do was keep me from what was happening. He wanted to keep me away from Ryland. And Mika. And protect me from his father and the shop. And all the wars that raged year after year. And the same for the BFH crew.
“Wes,” I said. “Thank you for what you did.”
He let out a laugh. It wasn’t a friendly laugh. Or a happy laugh.
I lowered my head. I stared down into the black coffee in the black coffee mug.
I forced myself to sip it.
The hot bitterness made my mouth feel gross. But black coffee always helped me with a hangover.
“What were you doing in that room with him?”
Wes had finally turned around and faced me.
My chin quivered again but I held myself tall. I wasn’t going to collapse in front of him.
I did nothing wrong.
“He followed me,” I said. “That’s what he was doing there. Did you think I took him up there to fuck him?”
“I have no idea what I think,” Wes said. “Apparently we’re done, right? And you wanted to go to a party and get wasted. For what? To wake up next to someone you didn’t know? Feel that fluttering regret?”
My lip started to curl. I slowly put my left hand under the coffee mug. I looked at it for a second and then threw it at Wes.
“Fuck you,” I yelled at him.
The coffee mug hit the ground and shattered. Coffee splattered all over the clean pavement.
“What is your problem, Aira?” Wes asked.
“Everything,” I said.
I walked back to the house and Wes finally came after me. My mind and heart screamed the word finally as his hands wrapped around my waist. He pulled me back and turned me around. I pushed away from him and crashed back into the door that was still shut.
“Everything,” he said.
“Everything,” I whispered.
His hands touched my face. His amazing, strong hands.
My eyes filled with tears.
I was breaking my own rule to not cry in front of Wes ever again.
“Tell me about everything,” he said.
“No.”
“I didn’t know what to think, Aira. I tried to warn you about BFH. I tried to warn you about everything. All I can do is be there for you. No matter what.”
“And how many girls have you fucked from that school? Or better yet, Wes, how many girls have you fucked from HCH?”
“More than I care to admit,” he said. “But that’s not the point. I made a promise to you. And I’ve kept it. And I’m going to keep it. Nothing can change that. I have no idea why you care so much about what I’ve done in the past. I can’t change that. I can’t change that you were taken from me.”
“Taken from you…?”
“Yeah. The way I felt about you before, darling. I didn’t care how old we were. You drove me crazy. And then you were gone.”
“And then I came back. And everything was different.” I swallowed hard. “I didn’t know what he was going to do, Wes. He was on the deck with me at first. I walked away. Then I heard about Emma and her fight. And that you helped her.”
“I helped her to get to you,” Wes said. “I didn’t know where you were.”
“I was upstairs. Alone. I snuck away. But Jacob followed.”
“And he paid the price for that.”
I nodded. “I know he did. I shouldn’t have gotten the way I did. But I just…”
I lowered my head but Wes lifted it right back up. “Just, what?”
“I miss you. I love you. I hate waking up without you near me. Or coming to get me. I feel lost without you kissing me. Or touching me.”
Wes leaned in and gently kissed my forehead. “Last night you wanted to know about Azel. And then you wanted me to make you come.”
“What?” I asked, heat rising to my cheeks.
“I took your shoes off and you kicked me in the face,” he said with a smile. “Then you started talking about Azel. And then we kissed. But I pulled away. Then I touched your leg. And I moved my hand all the way… up…”
My inner thighs trembled. I gently bit my lip.
“But I stopped again,” he said. He ran a hand through his hair. “I love you so much, Aira. This entire thing shouldn’t be as hard as it is. It’s the town. The school. The secrets. Everything I wanted you to stay away from. Because your house burned down. Shit, darling, you still have to get through that.”
“Don’t worry about what I need to get through,” I said. “I just can’t take any more secrets between us.”
“Azel died because of me,” Wes said.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth. He was with me. I was a mess. I had gotten my days of the week mixed up and I was torn up when I was watching him. Ma had to work and West insisted he had to go out. So I was stuck with Azel. I should have just stayed home. But he wanted to go play in the waves. He loved the ocean. We always called him our little fish. So I took him down to the beach. And there were some girls there. One thing led to another and next thing I knew I was kissing one of them.”
Jealousy burned in me but the sadness on Wes’s face took care of that pretty quickly.
“I don’t know what happened. He must have gone out too far. Or he misjudged a wave. I don’t know. He was here. Then he was gone. I screamed for someone to call for help and before I knew it… it just wasn’t good, Aira. He died in the water. Because of me. Because I wasn’t paying attention the way I should have. I was out of my mind. Truth was, I just couldn’t stand living with West. Watching what he was doing to Ma. And I had to protect Azel from it. And then making sure West didn’t do anything to the shop. I had a lot of help though. I had Jett. He was good to me. Good to Azel too. Azel even told me that he wished Jett would adopt us. That was our dream. And it was gone. The first thing West said to me after… he pointed at me and said it was my fault and he would never let me forget it.”
“I hate that man,” I said. “I am so sorry, Wes.”
Wes put his head back and swallowed hard. I watched his Adam’s apple move and damn did that turn me on.
“That’s the story, darling,” he said. “I never talked about it because it was just something everyone seemed to forget. Like a black cloud we all ignore. Right after Azel was gone, West left again. And he stayed away until now.”
“Oh, Wes,” I said. “I have no idea what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” he said.
“I’m not going to apologize for what happened last night,” I said.
“Nobody said you should. I think everyone got what they deserved.”
“Is it going to cause a problem though? Between the schools?”
Wes nodded.
I shut my eyes. “Great. So all I do is cause problems.”
“You don’t listen, darling. You never did.”
“What does that mean?” I asked as I opened my eyes.
“You never listened to me when you were a kid. And now you won’t listen again.”
“I like being stubborn.”
“I can see that,” Wes said. “I told everyone last night you’d get in touch with them. I know things were a little touchy.”
“I’ve been a bitch lately,” I said. “I’ve lived up to the name carved in my locker.”
“Be
autiful?” Wes asked.
“Cunt,” I said.
“No, Aira. You’re not that. You’re protecting yourself.”
“I hate the thought of you with someone else, Wes. That’s why I keep talking about the past. Because without us together now, someone will get you. Or you’ll go get someone.”
“There’s only one person I love,” he said. “Nothing from the past matters. Not even last night. BFH wanted to make a statement and we made one instead. Whatever happens because of that we’ll deal with. Right now I just want you to feel safe.”
“I feel safe right here with you,” I said.
“Good. Why don’t you get another cup of coffee?”
My eyes moved to the black pieces of mug shattered on the pavement.
Oops.
“I need a shower,” I said. “I need to change my clothes. I need to wash last night away.”
“You don’t have anything to change into, darling,” Wes said.
“I don’t care,” I said. “I’ll wear the same clothes. I just need…”
“You know where the shower is,” he said.
“Yeah, I do,” I whispered.
I walked through the massive house to the steps and went back to Wes’s room.
His bedroom and bathroom were like a mini apartment. The bathroom was the size of my bedroom at Julia’s house. I stripped myself and left my clothes in a pile on the floor. I stepped into the shower without the water running and looked up. It was a large shower head above me. The walls were super dark gray stone. And when I turned the water on, it was already at the perfect temperature.
It felt good to wash away the night.
And as the water ran over my hair and down my face, I looked down.
And I was able to cry in peace and in secret.
* * *
With the towel tight around my body, I wiped the steam off the mirror and studied my face. I wiped my cheeks and took a deep breath. They were puffy. I hated that look.
I stepped over my clothes on the floor and wanted to go get one of Wes’s t-shirts. I could wear the same jean shorts but I was going to swipe one of his shirts. I could easily tie a knot at the bottom and leave it hang baggy off me.
HIDDEN CREEK DARKNESS: a hidden creek high novel Page 11