by Enid Blyton
Then came the brownies’ turn.
‘What pillar is never used in building?’ asked Hop, rather shaky at the knees.
‘Pooh – a caterpillar!’ said the Very Wise Man.
‘What walks on its head all day?’ asked Skip nervously.
‘Pooh – nail in your shoe,’ said the Very Wise Man.
‘Er-er – what lion is loose in the fields?’ asked Jump, almost forgetting his riddle, when he felt the Very Wise Man’s eyes on him.
‘Pooh – a dandelion,’ said the Very Wise Man. ‘Very feeble. Now answer me this – Why is a toasting-fork?’
‘Why is a toasting-fork?’ said Hop, puzzled. ‘It doesn’t make sense, does it?’
‘Off to the Ogre’s!’ roared the Very Wise Man. Poor Hop went off to join the little girl.
‘Now you,’ said the Very Wise Man to Skip. ‘Why is a garden-rake?’
‘But that doesn’t make sense either,’ said Skip. ‘It isn’t a proper riddle.’
‘Off to the Ogre’s!’ roared the Very Wise Man again. He turned to Jump.
‘Why is a porcupine?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know,’ said Jump.
‘Off to the Ogre’s!’ shouted the Very Wise Man, and went on asking the Clever People more riddles which they seemed to answer perfectly.
The brownies were well scolded by the Ogre, who was a solemn little man with soft eyes and a sharp voice.
They were very angry about it.
‘It’s all nonsense,’ said Hop crossly. ‘He didn’t ask fair riddles. I’ll jolly well ask him to do something he can’t do, and then we’ll get away from here.’
‘Well, if you can do that,’ said the little girl, drying her tears, ‘don’t forget to take me with you.’
All that day the brownies wandered about the Land of Clever People with the little girl. It was a very solemn, proper land, and nobody laughed or skipped or ran.
Poor Skip and Jump were sent to the Ogre twice for not making a rhyme when they spoke. They felt sorrier than ever that they had left Fairyland. Little tubby policemen seemed to be everywhere, and they soon began to feel that it was dangerous even to whisper.
Next morning they couldn’t think of any riddles, nor answer any, so off they went to be scolded again. Hop was getting very tired of it.
‘I’ll go and ask the Very Wise Man to do something he can’t do,’ he said. ‘Where do I go?’ he asked the little girl.
‘Go to the Town Hall at three o’clock in the afternoon,’ she said. ‘You’ll find him there, waiting.’
So off went the brownies. They marched up the steps and found the Very Wise Man sitting in a great red chair, studying an old, old book.
‘Good afternoon, O Very Wise Man,
Do what I ask you, if you can,’
began Hop.
‘Build a castle in half an hour,
With an entrance gate and one big tower.’
The Very Wise Man descended from his throne and walked out of the hall. He drew a wide circle in the market-place, muttered a few words, and waved his arms.
Immediately there sounded the noise of hammering and clattering, although nothing could be seen.
But lo and behold! At the end of half an hour, there stood in front of the astonished brownies a wonderful castle with an entrance gate and one big gleaming tower!
Hop, Skip and Jump were too amazed to say a word. Then, with a wave of his hand, the Very Wise Man caused the castle to vanish completely. After that he turned to Hop.
‘Off to the Ogre’s,’ he said.
So off Hop had to go.
‘I’ll think of something much more difficult next time,’ he decided.
For days Hop and the others tried to think of new riddles, and to puzzle out something difficult to ask the Very Wise Man to do. It didn’t seem any good at all. They always seemed to be either going to or coming back from the Ogre’s.
At three o’clock each day the brownies always went to the Town Hall with something new and difficult to ask the Very Wise Man to perform, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to do it.
Once they asked him if he could make a ladder that reached to the stars, and he made a lovely one out of a rainbow. Hop wanted to climb it, but the Very Wise Man wouldn’t let him.
‘You might escape and that would be,
A most annoying thing for me,’
he said.
Another afternoon the brownies asked him to make a cloak which, when he put it on, would make him invisible. He did it at once, popped on the cloak, and none of the brownies could see where he was. He had disappeared!
‘Let us put it on as well,
And try the lovely magic spell,’
begged Hop, who thought that if only he could throw the cloak around himself and the other two, he might be able to escape unseen.
But the Very Wise Man wouldn’t let him. He sent them all off to the Ogre’s instead.
One evening the brownies were feeling very miserable indeed.
‘I believe we shall have to stay here for ever,’ groaned Hop.
‘So shall I,’ sighed the little girl, rumpling her curly head in despair.
‘Don’t rumple your hair like that,’ said Skip, ‘or you’ll be sent for a scolding again.’
He smoothed down her hair for her, and then picked up a curly bit that had broken off.
‘Isn’t it curly!’ he said. ‘I wonder if I can make it straight.’
He pulled it out straight – but it went back curly. He wetted it – but it was still curly. Then he gave it to the others, and they tried to make it straight. But they couldn’t.
‘The Very Wise Man could make it straight in half a minute,’ said Hop mournfully.
‘Well, I should like to see him do it,’ said Skip. ‘It simply won’t go straight.’
‘Let’s ask him tomorrow!’ said Jump hopefully.
So next day the three brownies and the little girl went to the Town Hall at three o’clock. The Very Wise Man was there as usual.
‘Your next request I now await,’
he said, leaving Hop to finish the rhyme. But Hop was ready, for once.
‘Then make this curly hair quite straight!’
said Hop, handing it to him.
The Very Wise Man took it, and looked scornful to think he had such an easy task.
He pulled it out straight, then let one end go. The hair sprang back into curl again.
He wetted it, and pulled it straight once more. It sprang back curlier than ever!
He stamped on it. He clapped it between his hands. He waved it in the air. He put it between the pages of a book.
Not a bit of good did anything do! It only made the hair twice as curly as before!
Then the Very Wise Man called for a hot iron and a cold iron. He ironed it first with one and then with the other.
But the hair sprang back to its curliness, and wouldn’t stay straight.
The brownies watched in the greatest excitement, their hearts beating quickly.
‘I don’t believe he can do it!’ cried Jump.
The Very Wise Man was so worried that he didn’t notice Jump hadn’t spoken in rhyme. He couldn’t think what to do with that wretched hair.
At last he knew he was beaten. He sank back on his throne, mopped his forehead, and asked Hop to let him off.
‘Yes, I will,’ said Hop, ‘if you will do what I want you to do. If not, I’ll tell all the Clever People how stupid you are.’
‘Talk in rhyme,
All the time,’
said the Very Wise Man.
‘Nonsense!’ said Hop. ‘I’m not going to talk in rhyme any more. It’s silly when you can talk better another way. Now, are you going to do what I want?’
‘Yes,’ said the Very Wise Man sadly.
‘First of all,’ said Hop, ‘tell me where the Princess Peronel is.’
‘In Witchland with Witch Green-eyes,’ answered the Very Wise Man.
‘How can we get there?’ asked Hop.
‘Now the next thing is,’ said Hop, feeling he was doing very well, ‘you must let this little girl go back to the Land of Giggles.’
‘Oh no, I can’t do that,’ said the Very Wise Man crossly.
‘All right,’ said Hop, ‘I’m going out to tell the people all about how you couldn’t make a curly hair straight.’
‘Oh, you are brave, Hop!’ cried the little girl, kissing him. ‘Thank you for sticking up for me.’
‘Will you let her go?’ Hop demanded.
‘Yes, yes! Leave me alone!’ growled the Very Wise Man.
‘And the next thing is, take us out of this horrid land of yours,’ said Hop. ‘You’re not Clever People a bit, you only think you are. You think it’s clever to be solemn and proper and never laugh or skip. Well, it isn’t. It’s just silly.’
‘Come along,’ said the Very Wise Man, suddenly. ‘I’ll take you out of the land now. I shall be glad to be rid of you.’
He strode down the hall, out into the market-place and through the streets of the town. The brownies and the little girl followed him in delight.
At last they came to a high wall, and in it was a gateway and a turnstile. A big-headed, fat little man sat there. He stared at them in surprise.
‘Am I to let these people out?’ he asked doubtfully.
‘Yes, you are,’ cried Hop, laughing to see the little man’s horror when he heard him speak without rhyming.
Then Hop turned to the Very Wise Man.
‘There’s just one thing more you’ve got to do,’ he said.
‘I will do it,’ said the Very Wise Man.
‘Well, listen,’ said Hop. ‘Answer me some of the silly riddles you asked us each morning. Now, why is a toasting-fork? Why is a garden-rake? Why is a porcupine?’
The Very Wise Man hung his head.
‘I don’t know,’ he said.
‘Well, you are mean and horrid!’ cried Hop. ‘It’s unfair to ask people riddles you know haven’t got answers, and then send them to be scolded because they can’t answer them. Now I’ll give you just one more chance – Why is a garden-rake?’
The Very Wise Man shook his head.
‘All right,’ said Hop, grinning. ‘Off to the Ogre’s with you! Tell him to give you his best scolding!’
The Very Wise Man gave an awful yell and ran away before Hop could say anything more. Hop and the others clicked through the turnstile and chuckled.
‘That just serves him right!’ said Skip. ‘He won’t be so keen on scolding now!’
Their Adventure on the Green Railway
The brownies looked around. They were in a bare, open country, with the walls of the Land of the Clever People behind them.
‘We’d better see you safely back to your country first,’ said Hop to the little girl, who was dancing about and clapping her hands for joy at having escaped.
‘Oh, we’ll all travel on the Green Railway,’ said the little girl. ‘I’ll get out at Giggleswick – that’s my station – and you can go on to Fiddlestick Field if you like, or come and stay with me at my home.’
‘I think we’d better not do that,’ said Hop, who was beginning to feel that it was far easier to get into a strange land than out of it. ‘We might not giggle enough.’
‘Besides, we want to find out the way to Witchland as soon as we can,’ said Skip, ‘so that we can rescue poor little Princess Peronel.’
‘Well, first of all, where’s the Green Railway?’ asked Jump.
‘Oh, it runs beneath the ground just here,’ explained the little girl. ‘I’ll show you how to get to it. Look for a big yellow mushroom, all of you.’
The brownies began hunting all around.
‘I’ve found a beauty!’ cried Hop.
‘So have I!’ called Skip.
‘So have we,’ said the little girl, running up with Jump. ‘Bring them here and set them down in a circle.’
They all brought their mushrooms. They were very big ones, quite as large as stools, and the brownies were able to stand them up straight, and then sit on the tops.
‘Hold tight to your mushrooms,’ said the little girl, ‘while I say a magic rhyme.’
The brownies held tight.
‘Mushrooms, take us down below;
One, two, three, and off we go.
Rikky, tikky, tolly vo!’
cried the little girl.
Whizz-whizz-whizz! The mushrooms suddenly sank down through the ground at a terrific pace. The brownies gasped for breath and held on as tightly as ever they could.
Then bump-bump-bump-bump – the four mushrooms all came to a sudden stop and tipped the brownies off their seats. They rolled on the ground.
‘Ha, ha!’ laughed the little girl, who was still sitting on her mushroom. ‘Anyone can see you’re not used to riding mushrooms. Come along, and we’ll see if a train is due now.’
The brownies picked themselves up and followed the little girl, who was scampering through a cave lit by one star-shaped lamp.
When she came to the end of it she stopped, and the brownies saw a little door let into the wall. It opened, and the little girl ran through it. The brownies followed her and, to their astonishment, found themselves on a tiny little platform.
A solemn grey rabbit sat there with piles of tickets in front of him.
‘One to Giggleswick and three to Fiddlestick Field,’ said the little girl.
‘One silver coin each,’ said the grey rabbit, handing out the four tickets. ‘Next train in five minutes.’
Sure enough, in five minutes there came the rattle and clank of a train, and the funniest little engine ran into the station, dragging behind it a long row of higgledy-piggledy carriages. They had no roof and no seats – only just cushions on the floor.
It was a very crowded train. One carriage was full of velvety moles, who talked about the best way to catch beetles. Another carriage was full of giggling people, who seemed to be making jokes and laughing at them as fast as they could.
‘Oh, there are some of my own people!’ cried the little girl gladly. ‘They’re going to Giggleswick, I expect. Let’s get in with them.’
So they all jumped in with the laughing people, though the brownies would really rather have got into an empty carriage.
The train went off when the guard waved his flag and blew his whistle. It ran clanking through dark tunnels, and big and little caves. The brownies were very much interested in all they saw and would have liked to talk about it – but the other people in the carriage were so talkative, and laughed so often, that they couldn’t get a word in.
The little girl was very excited; she laughed more than anyone, and told all about her adventures in the Land of Clever People. Hop thought she was nicer in that land than out of it, because she didn’t giggle so much then.
The train stopped again.
‘Burrow Corner!’ shouted a sandy rabbit-porter.
The moles all got out, and so did the grey bunnies. Then the train went off again.
The next station was Giggleswick. All the Gigglers got out. The little girl flung her arms round each of the brownies and hugged them.
‘Do, do, do come and stay in my country,’ she begged. ‘Jump out now, do! We’re very merry and laugh all day!’
‘No, we really mustn’t,’ said Hop, who didn’t want to go with the Gigglers in the least. ‘Goodbye, and we’re so glad you’re safe home again.’
The train rattled off, and the brownies waved goodbye.
‘Well!’ said Jump, sitting down on his cushion. ‘I think I’d rather have to speak in rhyme all day than giggle every minute. What a terrible country to live in!’
‘Thank goodness we didn’t go there!’ said Hop. ‘What a lot of peculiar lands there are outside Fairyland! How I wish we could go back to dear old Brownie Town again!’
‘So do I,’ said Skip, with a si
gh. ‘But I don’t expect we’ll ever be able to do that, because we shall never be able to find our goodnesses, as the King said we must.’
‘Oh look!’ said Jump. ‘We’re coming out into the open air again!’
The train puffed out of the half-darkness and came to a sunny field. It ran along beside a hedge for some way, and then out on a roadway. All sorts of strange folk were walking there, and all kinds of animals, who looked as if they had been out marketing.
The train stopped whenever anybody hailed it, and lots of people got in.
‘We shall never get to Fiddlestick Field,’ said Hop, when the train stopped for the fifteenth time. ‘Really, people are treating this train more like a bus! Oh dear, what’s happened now?’
The train stopped again. The driver was having a long talk with a friend he had met. The brownies got very impatient.
At last Hop got out and went up to the driver.
‘Aren’t we ever going on again?’ he asked. ‘We’re in a hurry.’
‘Oh, are you?’ said the driver. ‘Well, I’m going to have tea with my friend here, so you’d better get out and walk. This train won’t start till six o’clock.’
So saying, the driver jumped from the train, linked his arm in his friend’s and strolled off.
All the passengers yawned, settled themselves on their cushions, and went to sleep. The three brownies were very cross.
‘Fine sort of train this is!’ grumbled Skip. ‘Goodness knows when we’ll get to Fiddlestick Field!’
‘I’ve a jolly good mind to drive the train myself,’ said Hop.
‘Oh, Hop, do !’ cried Jump. ‘I’m sure you could. Then we could get to Fiddlestick Field tonight.’
Hop looked at the engine. It really didn’t look very difficult to drive, and he had always longed to be an engine-driver. This seemed a lovely chance.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘Come on! I’ll drive the train, with you to help me. How pleased all the passengers will be!’
Hop, Skip and Jump ran to the engine, and jumped into the cabin. There were four wheels there, like the steering wheels of motor-cars, and Hop had a good look at them.
Over one was written ‘Turn to the left’ and over another, ‘Turn to the right’. The third wheel had ‘Go fast’ written over it and the last wheel had ‘Start engine’.