by Jenna Mindel
“What did you think of the service?” She’d watched Dale soak in Pastor Ethan’s message like a sponge.
“Good. I liked it there.”
“First time you’ve ever gone to church?”
He nodded. “Pretty much, other than weddings I’ve attended.”
Faith smiled. And he’d been with her. She closed her eyes and leaned closer into Dale as she whispered a quick prayer for courage. She hoped this wasn’t the last time Dale attended church, especially with her.
They walked a block over and Faith felt a lump form in her throat when she looked down the street. Garland covered with lights glowed from business and store windows. Even the little trees in front of city hall twinkled with tiny white lights thanks to Robin Frazier and Livvie Franklin, who’d been thrilled with her plan. “Pretty, huh?”
Dale stopped and swung her around to face him. “Why’d you do all this for me?”
Faith looked up into his soft green eyes. “I wanted to give you good feelings about Christmas. I wanted you to remember Jasper Gulch.” She swallowed her fear and plunged on. “And I wanted you to remember me, too.”
Dale pulled her closer. “I’m pretty sure I won’t ever forget you.”
“No?” She hoped that was true.
He dipped his head lower. “No.”
Faith closed her eyes and tipped up her face to better meet Dale’s lips. Her coat hood fell back and cold snow sprinkled her hair, her forehead and cheeks. She didn’t care that someone had honked a car horn, driving by.
All that mattered was this man.
The man she loved.
Faith returned Dale’s kiss with urgency, pouring out her heart because she was too afraid to vocalize her feelings. What if she told Dale that she’d fallen in love with him? Would he stay? Or would it make the time they had left awkward and strange?
Considering her father’s words that lay between them, Faith wanted Dale to make the first declaration of feelings. She needed him to utter those first few words of caring. She could only show him what was in her heart and pray that he’d feel the same.
A coward’s route, maybe, but Faith didn’t want her words hanging in the air all alone. She pulled back and searched his eyes, giving him a chance to say those words she longed to hear and repeat. When Dale didn’t say anything, she whispered, “What was that for?”
“To thank you properly.”
Faith laughed to cover her disappointment. “I’m not sure there was anything proper about that kiss.”
He gently adjusted her hood, pulling it back up over her head and then tucked her arm through his. “Come on, we’d better go for that pie.”
Patience. She needed to slow down and practice some patience. Give Dale a chance. They had the whole evening ahead of them.
Dale put his arm around her and snuggled her close. “So what’s your favorite kind of pie?”
“This time of year?” Faith giggled at the lighthearted tone of Dale’s question. “Pumpkin.”
“So your taste buds follow the seasons?”
Faith grinned. “Something like that. What about you?”
“I have a feeling hometown apple will be my new favorite.”
Faith looked at him. “And why’s that?”
“It reminds me of Jasper Gulch.” He kissed her again, short and sweet. “And you.”
Her heart sang as they made their way toward the café. Lights glowed through the falling snow. Great Gulch Grub had colored lights shining from every window. Dale pushed open the door for her. When they entered, a chorus of greetings rang out.
“Merry Christmas!” Mert led the charge.
“Thanks. To you all, as well.” Dale grinned.
Faith shook off her coat and hung it up on the stand by the door.
“Coffee?” Mert had a pot of steaming decaf in hand.
“Tea for me,” Faith said, and looked at Dale.
“Coffee.”
“This way.” Faith grabbed Dale’s hand and pulled him through the aisle to a back booth. A tiny Christmas tree served as their centerpiece.
Dale shook his head as he slid into the red vinyl seat opposite hers. “When did you do all this?”
“I talked to some folks the night of homecoming, and finished up the rest today.”
He moved the little tree toward the window and grabbed her hands between his. “You Shaws get things done.”
“That we do.”
Mert delivered their drinks and then pulled a pencil from behind her ear and an order pad from her apron pocket. “What can I get for you, Faith?”
“Pumpkin pie, please. And Dale will have apple.” She looked at him. “Warm with ice cream?”
“Of course.”
Mert smiled at them both. “Coming right up.”
“I’m supposed to give the orders, you know.” Dale let go to sip his steaming coffee.
“But Mert knows me better than you.”
“I was here earlier with your pastor.”
Faith nearly choked on her tea. “You were?”
“Nice guy.”
“Ah, yeah.” Faith sipped her tea. What had the two talked about? Had Dale sought out Pastor Ethan? What for?
She waited for him to continue, but he wasn’t offering up any explanations. Dale Massey didn’t offer much.
“Tell me what it’s like here at Christmastime.”
Faith smiled. “Well, there are even more lights, and garland is hung from wires across Main Street along with big red bells and bows, and we gather in front of city hall for the annual Christmas-tree lighting.”
“I think you’d love New York at Christmas. There’s ice skating at Rockefeller Center and a huge tree-lighting there.”
Faith nodded. “I’ve watched it on TV.”
He gathered up her hands again and looked at her as if he wanted to say something.
She held her breath.
“Here you go, Granny’s homemade pie.” Mert held two plates overhead.
Dale let go of her hands and sat back.
The moment was gone, and Faith wasn’t sure how to get it back. So she silently dug into her pie as Dale did the same with his. After a few bites, she pushed her plate aside. “Well? What do you think?”
Dale drained his cup. “It’s good. You’re done?”
Faith shrugged. “For now.”
Dale pushed his plate aside, too, and reached for her hands.
Hope sprung inside her chest as she threaded her fingers through his.
“Faith?”
“Yes?” This was it. What she’d been waiting for.
“Come to New York with me.” His eyes bore into hers.
Ready to jump on that invitation, she bit her tongue instead. She hadn’t heard the words she needed. So she waited. Her beating heart skipped to a clanging thud inside her chest as the seconds ticked by like a death knell. There had to be more.
There wasn’t.
Releasing her pent-up breath, Faith felt her belly twist and she asked the obvious question. “Why?”
Dale let go of her hands and leaned back. “I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.”
Faith closed her eyes against the burning there. Yet? As if goodbye was inevitable between them. She swallowed hard and opened her eyes, feeling as if the scales of her girlish dreams had fallen away to reveal the truth of what he’d proposed. Dale hadn’t asked for forever. He wanted only a little while more. She’d never really had a chance. Butterflies didn’t want to be caught and neither did Dale Massey.
Turning her plate around, Faith sighed. “No. I won’t go to New York with you. But thank you for asking.”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking uncomfortable. “Don’t you think we need more time to know if this connection between us is real?”
She laughed then. A harsh sound to her ears. She didn’t need any more time to know that she loved him and was prepared to spend the rest of her life with him. “For how long? A week, a month? I can’t afford the hotel room for one thing—”
“Money’s not an issue.”
Faith’s stomach turned. Of course not. Not for him. But she’d never take his money when she had no claim to it. No pledges of forever. Accepting such an invitation wasn’t right, and hearing Dale make the offer turned her blood ice cold. “I have obligations here, to my symphony for one.”
“Faith—”
She cut him off real quick. “I’m an all-or-nothing girl, Dale. I won’t give you everything only to end up with nothing while you figure out whether or not you want me for the long haul.”
“So that’s it?” Dale’s chin rose. He didn’t like being pressed.
“Is it?” She softened then, seeing the fear in his green eyes. He was a man who relied only on himself, and marriage required God’s help and guidance. “Some things you just know.”
“Faith…”
“That’s exactly what it takes, Dale. Faith in something larger than yourself and your own abilities. But I understand your hesitation. Really, I do.”
“So now what?” His expression was hard to read. He’d closed himself up tighter than a plastic container filled with leftovers.
“We finish our pie and go home.” And she’d have a good cry.
Maybe she was a silly girl who believed true love didn’t need a whole lot of time to be real. Maybe she’d never learned her lesson when it came to men. Oh, her heart had mended up just fine after Scott’s betrayal, but then she’d believed in lies.
With Dale, she believed in truth. They had a very real and honest love blooming. Faith knew he was right for her and that’s what made it so hard to let go. But she had to. Chasing after him to New York would never accomplish what letting go might. She’d never wanted to catch butterflies with a net. She’d always hoped they’d come to her on their own.
Dale was too afraid to reach out for forever, but she wouldn’t accept anything less. Faith didn’t have the power to ease Dale’s fears. Only God could do that.
Until Dale opened his heart to God, there was no room in there for her.
Chapter Fourteen
Amid the flurry of activity in the high school parking lot, Dale checked his watch and then his phone for texts. Nothing. Where were they? His brothers and father were supposed to be here already. The bright sunshine had warmed the day and melted snow off rooftops. It fell in clumps along the sidewalks only to thaw and trickle away.
His heart felt stone cold.
Maybe it was better that Faith had refused to return to New York with him. If he couldn’t offer her forever, what was the point of trying to milk this out any longer? He’d hurt her, but she’d get over him walking away now. If he walked out on her later, she might not.
The Shaws were busy lining up floats that had been made over from the town’s Fourth of July festivities. Despite the heaviness in his heart, he’d chuckled when he first arrived. Decorated tractors pulling wagons, and trailers hooked to pickup trucks served as the Jasper Gulch floats. A far cry from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.
Faith was busy plugging in lights, fixing hay bales and clumps of fake flowers. She’d been a trouper on their way back to Shaw Ranch last night. Even though he’d stomped on her feelings pretty good, she hadn’t dissolved into a fit of tears or accused him of being a selfish cad. He deserved her refusal, but he couldn’t trust his feelings after so short a time. That smacked too much of how his father did things.
Faith had been kind and caring as usual. Her smiling face over breakfast had only twisted the knife deeper because he’d noticed her puffy eyes. Knowing that Faith had cried over him wasn’t easy. Knowing he might be making the biggest mistake of his life wasn’t exactly a cake walk, either. But how could he be sure?
He watched as each float that had been decorated in keeping with the town’s history was loaded up. The Massey float was covered with mining gear. Pickaxes and sluicing gear, things a miner would use in digging and panning for gold.
He keyed his father’s cell number.
“Morning, Dale.” His father sounded sleepy, even though it was nearly noon in New York. Not a good sign.
“Where are you?”
“Home.” His father didn’t apologize or explain why he’d chosen not to fly to Montana. He simply didn’t do it.
Dale felt the jab quick and sharp. He’d asked for only one thing—for him to come to Jasper Gulch for the parade. In, and then back out of Bozeman using the Massey corporate jet. Easy. And certainly not unreasonable considering the fair weather forecast for the next few days. But Julian never did what he didn’t want to. And Dale had never been a priority in his father’s life.
“What about Eric and Jordan? Are they coming?”
Julian sighed. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to them.”
What father didn’t talk to his sons after bailing? Obviously, his half brothers fared no better in Julian’s world. Dale clenched his jaw to keep from saying something he shouldn’t. “Did they take the corporate jet?”
“I left word that something had come up. I’m sure they got the message and are on their way.”
Dale whirled around so he could see the road, hoping for some sign of his brothers. They should have been here by now, if they’d left as planned. Had Eric decided on a wild-hair trip somewhere else instead? Without bothering to tell him? What was wrong with his family?
They were not a family, that’s what was wrong. They’d never been a family. He couldn’t tell his father that over the phone. Not like this, in anger. It wouldn’t come out right and he’d only regret saying it.
“I’ve got to go. The parade starts soon.”
“You’re taking that silly parade a bit seriously, don’t you think?”
“It’s a good town with good people.” Jasper Gulch celebrated its heritage and forged a legacy for the generations to come. Something different than profits and mergers but more memorable. Maybe even more important.
“I need you back at the office.” Not a request.
“I’ll be there tomorrow.” Dale disconnected.
Tempted to throw his phone across the parking lot, he tucked it into his pocket instead. And tried for calm. He turned when Faith touched his arm.
“You look madder than a mountain adder. What’s wrong?”
Always caring and thinking about others, Faith deserved the best. Could he be that for her if he tried hard enough? He shook his head. “My father’s not coming. I don’t know where my brothers are. They’re probably a no-show, too.”
Faith’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not surprised.” Bitterness laced his voice.
Some things never changed, no matter how much a person wanted them to. He might as well throw himself in that pool, too. Dale didn’t have what it took to be a family man. Look at his own family. How could he expect to behave any differently?
Faith gave his arm a squeeze. “What can I do?”
Dale shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Never mind the Massey float. Ride with us. I’ll have them pull it out of line.” She hustled away before he could stop her. Didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
He checked his phone again then texted Eric’s cell. Maybe he should call his assistant and find out if she’d made other flight arrangements for his two brothers. He slipped his phone back inside his coat pocket.
It was Thanksgiving. A time for family. He was done interrupting Jeannie’s personal time with stupid questions he was capable of finding answers for on his own.
He’d simply have to wait and see.
Family meant something in Jasper Gulch. These people relied on each other. Dale relied on himself and his own word. It’s all he had despite the many privileges wealth had given him. Returning to that life of privilege seemed empty compared to the richness he’d found here, but what choice did he have? He belonged in New York.
Dale closed his eyes. That tug inside his heart pulled harder. Like a trout on a fly line, he felt the gentle pull in the waters of his soul. He needed more than what he had. H
e’d always needed more.
Faith had said God never disappoints. And Ethan Johnson believed in a Heavenly Father who remained faithful. Always. Dale wanted to believe in something more but didn’t begin to know how to let go and ask.
With his eyes still closed, he uttered a simple request, “Be my Father, too, God. Please, I need one that’s real and can show me the way.”
He opened his eyes but remained quiet a moment longer. He didn’t know what he expected to feel, but when nothing really happened, he let his shoulders slump.
He thought about the work that had gone into his family’s float before he’d even arrived, and a sense of belonging hit quick and heavy. An overwhelming impression of peace filled him, too.
He jogged forward and stopped Cord from moving the float.
“Thanks, but I want to ride the Massey one. Even if I’m all there is, I’m not really alone.” Dale realized God had heard his prayer. And answered it.
He really did have a Heavenly Father who cared for him. Loved him without question. Without measure. Dale didn’t know how he knew that, he just did. Faith had said the same last night.
Some things you just know.
Amazing.
Faith came around from the back of that float. She stood before him and searched his eyes. “You’re never alone, Dale. Not here. We’d better hurry, though. The floats are ready to go.”
“In a minute.” Dale took her hands in his. He wanted things to be different between them but held back. Still unsure. He was afraid of forever, but he had to tell her what had happened. He owed her that much. “I, ah, prayed just now. I wanted to know who God was, and I think He showed me.”
Faith’s smile was brilliant and tears gathered in her eyes. “He does that.”
Dale nodded. “I’m going to find out more, you know, about God. And maybe we—”
“Dale!” Two men dressed in jeans and ski jackets, each toting backpacks, ran toward them, waving their arms.
He laughed and broke away from Faith. He grabbed each brother by the shoulders for an awkward and long-overdue embrace. “You came!”
“Of course we came.” Eric, the older of the two, adjusted his overloaded backpack.
Confused, Dale asked. “Why so late?”