“The deception is yours,” he replied, raising his voice. “You seek to cheat those who can't see clearly.”
“If your eyes make such a claim about my wares, they lie,” she replied solemnly.
“Now, you call me a liar?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.
“It seems apparent, my lord,” she replied, “that one of us is deceived. I humbly suggest that you take your trade elsewhere.”
“You offer me the choice of being cheated out of my coins or my goods,” he replied gruffly. “I think not, my sister. You will see reason.”
Having said this, he grabbed her by the arm. Instantly, Morgan ripped his hand from the maiden's body. Before he had time to blink, the lizard-man knocked him to the ground with his other fist. Morgan was somewhat pleased with this result, simply because his opponent hadn't tried to rip him open with the talons on the ends of his fingers. That being the case, he was confident that this was simply a 'trade war'.
He climbed to his feet as a number of other Bratwurstians gathered around the pair in a circle. Having learned a great deal more about unarmed combat than he had known during his last fist-fight, Morgan was far more prepared this time. He feinted to the left before twisting to the right and busting his adversary in the mouth with a left-cross.
The force of this blow seemed to surprise the lizard-man – who was both taller and heavier than Morgan. After this assault, he approached the young man more cautiously, deftly dodging several additional attacks before managing to punch him in the gut. If not for his rather impressive stomach muscles, this would probably have finished the fight for Morgan. As it was, however, it simply gave him an opportunity to smash his opponent in the head with both fists.
This nearly knocked the lizard-man to the ground. In response, he spun around and kicked Morgan in the chest. This almost, but not quite, laid the young man out. Realizing that legs were acceptable weapons in Bratwurstian brawls, Morgan leapt at his opponent and gave him a 'double jump kick'. The assault was powerful enough to knock his adversary into the dirt.
“The buffets given me by our brother have cleared my vision, my sister,” he said as he sat up, swaying slightly. “The treasures you offer are truly a bargain at sixteen ounces.”
“It pleases me beyond measure that the gods have seen fit to make our minds as one,” Azure replied, helping him to his feet.
Shortly after this, they had been paid their pound of berlanium in the form of coins and various pieces of jewelry, and were on their way back to the ship.
“Both of you did great back there,” Robert said. “Azure, I'm not sure that anyone on this planet would have been able to tell that you weren't a native.”
“I did my best,” she smiled.
“And, Morgan,” he continued, “that was some of the best shutting up I've ever seen you do.”
“Thanks,” he nodded. “I didn't want to 'blow the whole gaff'.”
“I love that phrase.”
“I know.”
“You even managed to almost convince me you that you can kind of fight now,” he confessed.
“He fought like a champion,” Cleo opined.
“That guy would have thrown you around like a rag doll, Rob,” Azure asserted.
“Are you out of your mind?” he laughed. “I'd have laid him out in half the time it took Morgan.”
“That's true,” Cleo claimed.
“Are you serious?” Azure laughed in response. “He had to weigh twice what Rob does.”
“You haven't seen Rob fight as often as I have.”
“You're blinded by love,” the blue maiden said, shaking her head. “You believe everything he says...”
“I believe almost nothing he says,” Cleo replied defensively.
“You know what I mean,” Azure said. “You believe all the crazy claims he makes. Like, when he said he could jump over Morgan's head. Obviously, that's just ludicrous.”
“I can't believe my ears,” Robert replied. “Are you honestly saying that you think I was bluffing?”
In reply, she attempted to roll her eyes at him. She missed because she couldn't see him, but he still understood what she was saying.
“Morgan,” he said, “stand perfectly still.”
“This is silly, Rob,” Cleo said.
“You know I can do it.”
“I do,” she admitted. “But, someone might see you.”
“What if they do?” he asked, switching off his stealth-belt and moving a short distance behind the young man. “What are they going to do about it? We'll be gone in fifteen minutes.”
Having said this, he dashed in Morgan's direction, jumped up, slapped his hands on his friends' shoulders, and flew completely over his head.
“What do you say to that?” he asked triumphantly, turning around to face the blue maiden the moment his feet touched the ground.
“You didn't really 'jump' over his head.”
“What?!”
“You used your hands,” she explained.
“So?”
“People aren't allowed to use their hands when they're jumping over hurdles, Rob.”
“You're arguing semantics.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head, “I'm calling things what they are.”
“Then, how did I get over his head?”
“You climbed.”
“You are completely insane sometimes,” he chuckled.
“I don't think it's me.”
“Alright,” he nodded. “In that case, we'll pick something there can't be any arguments about.”
“What?” she asked.
“As you two love to point out,” he replied, “Morgan is about seven inches taller than me.”
“Seven-and-a-half,” Morgan did, in fact, point out.
“I'll bet you fifty bucks he can't jump over my head.”
“I don't have any money of my own,” she replied.
“I'll give it to you,” he assured her.
“Alright then,” she said resolutely. “You're on. Show him, Morgan.”
“Stand still, Rob... I guess...”
Robert marched a few feet ahead of Morgan, rotated his shoulders, and then stood perfectly still. Morgan took off running (or what he called 'running', anyway), jumped up as high as he could, slapped his companion on the shoulders, and hit him in the back of his head with his crotch. As a result, the two tumbled to the ground; Morgan's injured groin coming to rest on the back of Robert's skull.
“Get off me, you idiot!” he cried, crawling out from under his friend.
“I can't move,” Morgan groaned, laying in the dirt.
Despite this assertion, his companions had him on his feet and headed toward the ship mere seconds later. As soon as they were back on board, Robert sent the vessel hurtling into space while Vox got to work on refining their fuel and getting it into the engines.
Chapter 14: Old Friends
“Where are we going?” Morgan asked, lowering himself slowly into his seat on the bridge while gingerly touching his swollen eye.
“To grab a few more things,” Robert replied.
“He really hit you, didn't he?” Azure said at the same instant, tilting her boyfriend's face so she could inspect it more closely. “When you looked like a Bratwurstian, it didn't show.”
“The holo-emitter kept it hidden,” Cleo pointed out.
“It's the least of my worries,” the young man asserted. “Not only did I manage to dash my nether regions against the granite rock that is Rob's skull, I'm pretty sure I pulled something in my back.”
“When was the last time you stretched out?” the traveler asked.
“That last time on the ship.”
“Really?” Azure asked with a touch of surprise. “Cleo and I still stretch out every morning.”
“I should probably join you.”
“You should probably do it on your own,” Cleo opined.
“What if I twisted my back, collapsed, and couldn't get up?”
“You could yell for
help.”
“Let's get you to Doc,” Azure said, pulling him from his seat by one hand. “He should be able to do something about your eye. I'll do what I can for your back.”
“What about my...” the young man began.
“Morgan,” Robert warned.
“Hand,” he continued. “I busted it pretty good when I punched that guy in the face.”
“Yes, you did,” the blue maiden nodded, looking at his bruised knuckles. “Doc, should be able to do something for that, as well.”
Azure led him from the chamber, dragging him by the hand she still held. The couple quickly located Doc, who bathed the young man's knuckles in the future-space equivalent of witch hazel before giving him an emergency cold-pack (both of which they had found a supply of on the derelict) for his eye. The blue maiden then led him back to the saloon where she made him pull off his cult-shirt (as he called it) and lay face down on the floor with his eye on his icepack. Once he was in position, she straddled his hips and began gently – but firmly – rubbing his back.
“I was wrong,” he said with a contented groan just as Cleo and Robert strolled into the room. “If this is what happens when I twist my back, I'm never going to stretch out again.”
“Oh yes, you are,” Azure said, sliding her hands up his spine. “In fact, you're going to stretch out every morning from now on. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, ma'am,” he sighed, doing his best to sound annoyed and failing miserably.
“You know,” Robert said, rotating one shoulder while rubbing it with his other hand, “I think I may have twisted my back a little, too.”
“No, you didn't,” Cleo giggled.
“I guess it might have been my neck,” he said, rubbing that instead.
“No, it wasn't.”
“Are you saying you won't rub my back?”
“I already scratched it.”
“Not nearly enough,” he said with a smile as he gazed into her eyes. “Plus, that was weeks ago.”
“I've heard you have the power to relive the past,” she smiled. “Use it.”
“Are you seriously not willing to do that for me?”
“I'm more than willing to,” she replied playfully, “for the right number of points.”
“I'm out of points,” he reminded her.
“I guess you should have saved some for a rainy day.”
“You guys could just exchange services,” the young man suggested with a groan.
“Think of where that might lead, Morgan,” Robert replied.
“Don't you dare!” Cleo interjected.
“Why doesn't he have to spend points?” the traveler asked, pointing at his friend.
“He earned more than enough for a back rub by getting beat up for me,” Azure asserted, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.
“This is bull,” Robert claimed.
“Welcome to my world,” Morgan sighed.
“You are full of it. You never get left out like this.”
“You've won – and spent – way more points than I have. Plus, you get tranq-ed way more often.”
“No, I don't,” Robert disagreed. “Even if that were true; how would that be me getting freebies?”
“It means Cleo is crazier about you than Azure is about me,” Morgan opined.
“It does not!” Azure denied, slapping him on the back. “It just means I have more self control.”
“That's not exactly my fault,” the green maiden said with a blush. “It's the basic biology of...”
“I meant,” Azure clarified, “that I have more self control than Rob does.”
“Oh,” she nodded. “That's certainly true.”
“So then, I'll just sit here, not getting my sore back rubbed, I guess.”
“You don't have a sore back,” Cleo giggled again. “That was just a lie you told to get me to do something you wanted me to do. Don't you remember?”
“You could be wrong,” he pointed out. “Are you willing to take that chance?”
“All you have to do is earn more points,” Morgan pointed out. “What's the new game, by the way?”
“As of just minutes ago,” Robert replied, “we basically climbed back in the saddle. We have enough fuel to last us for a few months at our current speed, and we'll be able to get more if we need it. For instance, we could be back in Thundera in about two days at the rate we're running now. Which means we could get our hands on enough gold to buy years’ worth of berlanium.
“That being the case, this galaxy just became a much smaller place – at least, for us it did. We'll be able to get our hands on whatever we need to get our ship back. It's just a matter of making sure we grab it from the right place at the right time.”
“Meaning we need a time-drive,” Morgan observed.
“Which is why we're on our way to get one.”
“From where?”
“From where we left one.”
“Oh yeah...” the young man smiled. “So, no more breath holding, or chasm jumping, or anything like that.”
“We never actually had to jump a chasm, Morgan,” Robert pointed out. “But, yes, essentially you're right.”
“So, you're out of games?”
“I am.”
“Are you really?” Cleo asked before gently biting her lower lip while at the same time leaning into Robert. “In that case, love, you're in luck. Because, I think I have the perfect game for you.”
“Do you?” he asked, leaning a short distance out of her reach.
“Azure and I do, yes,” she nodded. “I'll be right back!”
The green maiden flew from the chamber only to return moments later holding a small, glossy, cardboard box covered with various designs.
“We found this on the derelict,” she explained, handing the box to Robert. “We figured we'd save it as a surprise in case you ran out of games.”
“It's a pack cards!” the traveler said excitedly, proving the veracity of his claim by extracting said cards from their packaging.
“It is,” Cleo nodded. “Unfortunately, we didn't find any chips.”
This statement caused every muscle in Morgan's back to tighten up.
“That's a shame,” he said, trying his best to sound sincere. “A crying shame. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to come up with something else we can bet with.”
“Morgan,” Robert warned.
“Don't fight it, Rob. This is an act of fate.”
“Shut up, man,” the traveler laughed. “Anyway, they're not the kind of cards we're used to.”
“What kind are they?” he asked.
“I'm not sure,” Robert replied, gazing at the card containing the rules. “I don't read whatever language this is written in.”
“Why isn't it in Common?”
“Common is kind of a new thing right now,” he said, carefully inspecting one card at a time. “The Farlinic Empire used it for military purposes and official communications (which is why that satellite used it), but it's currently a second language for almost all of its citizens. Wherever these cards were made, having rules written in Common probably wasn't a big selling point.
“Either way, it looks like they have suits – although there are seven of them, instead of four – so, we should be able to play a modified version of poker with them once we work out the odds.”
“Meaning we need stakes,” Morgan opined. “If only we could think of some.”
“We planned to use points,” Cleo explained. “We'll just have to have Doc keep score like he did during the last game.”
“Yeah,” Morgan said with a disappointed sigh. “I suppose that'll work.”
“I thought you'd be looking forward to earning more points,” Azure said, leaning down near his face with a smile.
“I can tell you this,” he groaned. “I'm looking forward to spending them.”
Roughly an hour later, Robert had calculated the odds on getting different combinations of cards and laid out the rules for a new kind of poker that used sev
en suits of ten different cards. That night, they played their first game – which immediately revealed its inherent weakness.
By the time they stopped, Robert had managed to collect all of the points. (For one thing, he was the only one who seemed to have a firm grasp on which hand beat what.) After a brief discussion, they decided to come up with modified versions of other card games (like blackjack) that didn't depend so heavily on the player's ability to bluff.
In a move of magnanimity, Robert offered to divide his points equally amongst his crew – provided that Cleo would rub his back for an hour before they went to bed as a 'free sample'. This, the green maiden finally agreed to do. She even went to the extra effort to pretend to hate every minute of it, but that proved to be a complete waste of energy as it didn't fool anybody – especially Robert.
For nearly a week, work on the ship continued as it had for many days before. Vox added more and more plating to the hull until he ran out of it, more and more fiber slowly became cloth; and the crew began harvesting fresh food from their farm rather than depending exclusively on their dried provisions.
One thing Morgan and all the girls began to mention missing was something other than water to drink. Sadly (at least, to him), this train of thought led the young man to ask the traveler where all their fresh water came from. Robert had no choice but to reveal that they had actually spent the last few weeks drinking out of the PPSU. (Actually, Robert had all kinds of choices as he’s a master of lies. The simple truth is that he was just waiting for Morgan to ask so he could drop it on him like a bomb.) All things considered, Morgan handled the news very well. Which is to say; he pretended he hadn't heard what Robert had said.
Many more points were also won and spent during the journey. Cleo and Doc had worked together to come up with a safe starting number they would each automatically receive every evening. This helped keep anyone from getting 'frustrated' or getting tranq-ed. At least, that was the idea.
One night, Morgan did managed to win so big at craps – Vox had made some dice by that point – that he got himself shot before he'd spent half of his winnings. Of course, Robert suspected he was simply pretending to lose control as a joke – which is why he shot him three seconds early and then claimed that it had been an accident.
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