Dallas moved a few steps closer until they were only a few feet apart. “D, man, can I have a word with you?”
Diesel could see out of the corner of his eye that Dallas was looking at him, but he wasn’t in the mood for this shit. “Dallas, I don’t really want to get into this right now.” He did, but he didn’t because he had been actively thinking about everything Jagger said, and how he felt for Maggie. He wanted to make this real with her, and give a relationship with her a shot.
“I don’t want to fight, and I’m not about to badmouth your woman.”
That had Diesel looking at him.
“I just think I should probably talk to you and explain some shit.”
Diesel faced forward again. “You don’t need to explain shit to me, because I don’t fucking care.” He was done with this conversation and pushed up from the bar, but Dallas reached out and wrapped his big hand around Diesel’s bicep. Diesel looked down, tensed all over, and then looked back at Dallas. “I suggest you get your fucking hand off me, Dallas.”
He did, and ran his hand through his short blond hair. Dallas’s green eyes were red-rimmed, and the stench of pot and liquor surrounded him. “Can you give me a minute? Please.”
Diesel stared at the other man, and the fact he had said please with this almost desperate tone had Diesel relaxing and nodding. Dallas seemed to relax as well, and he started heading out the front door. Court and Stinger glanced at them, but when it looked like they were going to stand Diesel shook his head. They sat back down, but he could still sense that they thought shit was going to go down with him and Dallas.
They stepped outside but didn’t go very far from the front doors. Dallas moved over to the truck used by the club and leaned against it. He reached inside his cut and grabbed a joint, lit it, and inhaled from the end twice before he finally started talking.
“I don’t apologize for a lot of shit I do, but I want to say sorry for talking all that shit about your girl.” He brought the joint to his mouth again and looked at Diesel as he inhaled. Once he exhaled he looked down and kicked a rock across the parking lot. “The reason I’ve been drinking a lot, keeping to myself, and not able to filter my mouth is because I have this dark anger inside of me.” A moment of silence passed between them.
“We all do, brother, but we just have to deal with it, and work with each other, not against one another.”
Dallas was shaking his head before Diesel even finished. “No, you don’t understand. I’ve been trying to help numb the toxic shit going through me, but as you can see it’s only been making it worse, and all I’ve been doing is taking it out on the people I consider my family.”
Diesel didn’t say anything because he knew Dallas had more to say. The sun was starting to set, and the sky was this pink/orange color. It was a beautiful setting to what was turning out to be a very dark conversation. For the first time since Diesel had known the male, he saw a deep vulnerability and sorrow in Dallas’s green eyes.
“Did you know I was married and had a kid with Meghan?”
Diesel nodded, but even though he did know that, as did every Grizzly member, there was a lot of shit members kept to themselves. With broken and battered pasts and violent, animalistic natures, it was common for a lot of shady information to be kept hidden. Not saying this was particularly “shady”, but some guys just didn’t feel like sharing. Dallas nodded and took another hit from the joint. He held it out for Diesel, but he shook his head. He had plans later this evening, and he wanted to be clear headed and sober when he dealt with them.
“Yeah, I got married to Meghan right out of high school. We were together for five years after that, even had a little boy together during that time. But she couldn’t handle the MC life.” Dallas looked up at the sky and breathed out. “I wasn’t always a Nomad, was even patched in with the Texas charter for a long fucking time, but…” He looked back at Diesel, “A few weeks back I got word that Meghan had gotten into a car accident. Some motherfucker ran a stop sign, T-Boned her car, and she died, as did my son who was in the passenger’s seat.” Dallas finished off his joint in several rapid intakes after he spoke. The air was thick with a lot of emotions, but all Diesel could do was stand there.
“Man, I am so sorry.” He took a step forward.
Dallas shook his head, held out his hand to stop his advance, and looked up at the sky. “Yeah, me, too. She divorced me when Maddix was little, and I haven’t seen her in years, man. I was sending money to her for the kid, but visits with him had been few and far between. Shit.” He flicked the roach away and rubbed his eyes, and although he didn’t cry, the scent of his sorrow was thick. “She was actually taking Maddix to college.” Dallas smiled, but that faded and this painful look crossed his face. “My kid was smart as hell, D, even got a scholarship to CSU.” He lowered his head so he was staring at Diesel again.
“You must be really proud. I know I would be.” Diesel was trying to go along with the conversation, but this was downright heartbreaking. Dallas was a hard male, strong and didn’t take shit from anyone. Some people thought being patched in was a harder life than being a Nomad, but there was different roads people took, and different hardships on those roads. Seeing Dallas like that had a lot of empathy filling Diesel, and he wasn’t used to that. He was out of his element here.
“Yeah, I was.” He pushed off the truck. “I didn’t mean to get all emotional on you, but I wanted to let you know that since I got the news my head hasn’t been in the right place. And to make matters worse Meghan’s folks always hated me. The only reason I found out about their deaths was because a female we both went to high school with that still talked to Meghan reached out to me. I didn’t want to upset anyone and make the situation worse by showing up at the funeral, so I stayed back and had to watch from my bike as they lowered them into the ground.” Dallas clenched his jaw and turned away, and seconds later the scent of his tears filled the air. Diesel moved toward him, but Dallas held up a hand to stop him. “I’m good.”
“I’m really sorry, Dallas.” And he was, from the bottom of his heart, because he couldn’t even imagine losing a female you cared about and had a life with once, and your child all at the same time.
“Thanks, man. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to bring it up.” He breathed out and then cleared his throat. “It hurts like a motherfucker thinking about it, and saying this shit out loud feels like a fucking hot poker in my heart.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “But then I realized that adding misery to others’ lives because of how I felt wasn’t right.” Dallas kept his back to Diesel. “I wish I would have done a lot of shit differently, man. I wish I would have stayed in contact with Meghan, because even if we didn’t love each other and were through relationship wise, we still had a kid together and should have been there for him.” There was a hard moment where neither said anything, and the scent of Dallas’s rain-scented tears surrounded them. “So, yeah, that was that, and I think I need to sleep off this buzz.”
He switched the conversation so rapidly that all Diesel could do was stand there and watch as he turned and walked away. Diesel stood there for a moment and reflected on what Jagger had told him last week, and now what Dallas had said. He had already planned on going to talk to Maggie, but hearing what had happened to one of his brothers cemented the fact that he didn’t want to wait any longer to be with her. He had been stubborn and hardheaded his entire life, but after feeling Dallas’s sadness as if it were his own, it now seemed very frivolous.
He went over to his bike and got on. Maggie’s dad’s house was only a ten minute ride from the clubhouse, but that seemed like a long fucking ways off. The parts store would already be closed, but he’d swing by there just in case and see if she was there. What he needed to do was talk to Brian first, because if he couldn’t make the man understand how he felt for his daughter that would be one big fucking obstacle.
****
Diesel sat on his Harley in front of Brian’s house. He saw the other man
’s truck in the driveway, but for some reason Diesel still hadn’t gotten off his bike. There was a lot of shit going on, and the MC life was anything but glamorous. It was violent, volatile, and filled with a lot of dangerous and illegal things. But he didn’t want to be in Dallas’s situation where all that filled him was regret and heartache. If things didn’t work out then that was the way it was meant to happen. That didn’t mean he couldn’t try, show her what she did to him, and see what could become between them. But Maggie wasn’t just any female that he had fucked. There was something different about her, something that made his bear alert, feeling protective, and wanted her as badly as it wanted to take control of his human side. He had sat on Jagger’s words and how he felt for a week, and talking to Dallas had made everything clear. And although that wasn’t a very long time, it had felt like an eternity, especially when she had been on his mind every second of the day. It wasn’t just that his body craved hers, and all he could picture was her curvy, naked form as he pounded into her. He also liked the way she spoke to him, liked the sound of her voice, and really fucking liked the way she touched him and made him feel.
He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realize Brian was striding toward him until the human was standing a few feet from the curb. He had his arms crossed, and this really fucking pissed off look on his face. “What are you doing here, Diesel?” The way Brian sounded solidified the fact his rage was targeted right at Diesel, but he couldn’t blame the other man.
“You know why I’m here.” Brian didn’t move, and Diesel didn’t think he even breathed. Diesel took off his helmet and dismounted his bike. If he was going to have this talk out in the front lawn, then he was going to be eyelevel with Maggie’s father.
“This better be about you wanting some parts ordered, and have nothing to do with Maggie.” There was a stilted moment of uncomfortable silence.
“Brian, I didn’t come here to piss you off.”
“I’m already pissed off, Diesel. I’ve known the Grizzlies for nearly as long as Maggie has been alive. I care about all of you guys, and would help you out if you needed anything. I want you to put yourself in my shoes for a moment. I want you to imagine seeing your little girl get off the back of the bike of an outlaw MC member, one that I know for a fact deals in illegal bullshit, and sleeps with more women than probably live in this town.”
Diesel gritted his teeth. No one dared to talk to him this way without getting their asses kicked. But of course he did see Brian’s point of view, and couldn’t fault the guy or resort to violence for the way he was being talked to. Maggie was his little girl, even if she was a grown woman.
“I know, Brian—”
“No, Diesel, I don’t think you do. I don’t think you’ve ever seen your daughter come home, smelling the sex on her, seeing it on her face, and having to look in her eyes and seeing this dreamy expression because she thinks there will be more than one night with a biker.” Brian shook his head and dropped his arms. There was the scent of resignation, anger, and also fatherly love coming from Brian. Diesel couldn’t say it wasn’t awkward as fuck at having this conversation, and knowing that Brian was well aware that he had been with Maggie, but in the end it didn’t matter, and no one and nothing could dissuade him for moving forward.
He stayed silent for a second. “But maybe you haven’t been in my position either.” Diesel clenched his jaw and heard the way Brian ground his teeth. “No, I have never had to look into anyone’s eyes and see that. I have never felt the way you felt, but you don’t understand why I am here.”
“You’re right, I don’t understand why you’re here. Why don’t you enlighten me, because as it is, Diesel, I am pretty fucking pissed that you would go after Maggie when there are a lot of women that are more than willing to give themselves to you.” Brian looked down at the ground.
“Brian, man, I am here because I want Maggie as my old lady.” That had Brian shutting his mouth shut with an audible snap. “She isn’t just a one-night thing for me. I care about her, my bear cares about her, and I came here to let you know that I plan on talking to her about it. I want her, Brian, and even though she is an adult and will decide what she wants for herself, I wanted to be a man and talk to you about this.” Diesel clenched his hands at his thighs. “You know what it means to have an old lady, Brian, and that is what I want with Maggie.”
Brian was now looking at him, but hadn’t said anything for several seconds. He then exhaled, looked up at the sky for a moment, and then stared back into Diesel’s face. “Why her? I mean I know my daughter is beautiful and intelligent. I’m not talking about all that. I’m talking about why her?” It was a hard question, yet it wasn’t. Brian was asking him on a fatherly level. Diesel didn’t know how he was feeling, but he hoped that one day he would, because the protective instinct of a dad was a powerful one. “The life you lead is too much for her, Diesel, too hard. She is all I have left. You want to take her away from me, take her into a life that could kill her without even a thought, and then where the fuck will I be?”
“I’m not taking her way from you. I’m not doing anything than offering her a life with me. You know that we protect our own, that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her. I’d just as soon die than have her get hurt.” And Diesel meant that with everything inside of him. It had been hard to get to that point even though he had felt it down to his blackened soul, but it had finally hit him in the damn head. He didn’t want to be without Maggie by his side. Brian didn’t respond for several moments, but before he could have the sound of a car approaching had them both turning. Even before Diesel saw Maggie pull into the driveway and beside Brian’s truck, he had known it was her. There was a tightening of his skin, and the hairs on his arms had stood up. His bear had also come alert, moved out from deep inside of him, and made low, demanding sounds. It had been only seven days since he had dropped her off at her house, had been seven long-ass days since he had smelled the sweet scent of her, and touched her soft skin. But his self-doubt, uncertainty, and stubbornness all faded away when he watched her climb out of her car and look between the two of them. There was confusion and worry on her face, but even with both of those things taking the front stage he could scent her instant arousal at the sight of him, hear the increase of her pulse, and see the way her breath hitched. Yeah, his female wanted him just as much as he wanted her, and that was a really good fucking thing.
Chapter Ten
Maggie stood by her car for several seconds, just clutching her bag over and over again. Diesel was here and clearly talking to her dad, who didn’t look very happy. What had they been talking about? Was Diesel telling her father what they had done, like it was some kind of obligation since Brian was close with the club? Her heart was beating a mile a minute, and she seemed frozen to the spot, but then her dad turned away from Diesel and strode toward her. He stopped in front of her, and she tried to calm her sudden nerves. Her dad stared at her for a moment, and for the first time since her mother died he didn’t try to act strong or try to hide his emotions. He was worried about her, and that had her shoulders sagging and her heart swelling. She glanced over at Diesel, who was leaning against his bike. He wasn’t watching them, but she knew he was very aware of what was going on.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she moved closer to her dad. “I’ll be fine.” She knew he wanted to be here, to make sure Diesel didn’t hurt her, but she also knew, even if her father didn’t, that Diesel wouldn’t intentionally do anything like that. “Really, everything will be okay. Let me just talk to him in private. Please.” She didn’t know if she was trying to convince him or herself, but after a second he nodded—if a bit reluctantly—and cast one more glance at Diesel. She didn’t know what they had been talking about before, but there was clear tension between them. She didn’t have to be a shifter to feel it either. Her dad faced her and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, and then he was turning and striding toward the front door. Only when they were alone did she look at Diesel again.
He still leaned against his bike, but he watched her now. Finding the strength to go to the man she had been intimate with shouldn’t have been that hard. He had seen every part of her, had come inside of her, and touched her like he owned her. This wasn’t about letting loose and enjoying the carnal need that had thrummed through both of them. This was going to be a situation where she had to hear what he said, and a part of her knew it wasn’t going to be good. But why would he come out here just to give her bad news? It didn’t make sense, but then again a lot of things didn’t.
Maggie forced herself to move closer toward him. When only a foot separated them she waited to see if he would be the first to speak. But all he did was watch her with this strange expression on his face, and then to further surprise the hell out of her he reached out, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her toward his body. For a moment all she could do was stand there, tense and unsure of what she was supposed to do. This was certainly the last thing she expected to happen when she saw him sitting at the curb.
“Maggie, usually when someone hugs you it is customary to hug them back.”
One Night in the Outlaw's Bed Page 9