“Hop on.” Damien gave the merry-go-round a nudge.
“Are you going to spin me off of it?” I gave him a side-eyed glance and laughed.
“No, you can trust me.” He shook his head.
“Okay.” I smiled and sat down on the merry-go-round.
Damien gave the merry-go-round a spin, and it was almost like time spun with it. I remembered the days when life seemed so incredibly simple. I made a full circle and time caught up with me because I wasn’t a little girl being spun by some kid on the playground. I was a woman on the first real date I had ever been on—with a guy that pulled things out of me that I never thought I would feel. Every rotation I made, he gave it another spin—but he wasn’t using the bar to spin—he was putting his hand on mine each time. I felt a surge of attraction that started to make the butterflies more intense—as his touch sent fire rushing through my body. After a couple of harder spins, he hopped on beside me.
“Oh man, this is going to make me dizzy.” He grabbed the bar.
“That’s what makes it fun.” I leaned against him and smiled.
I looked up at the sky—it was a beautiful sight. I never took much time to appreciate it—life was always too busy to simply take a few seconds and enjoy the natural grandeur. It was a warm evening, but the breeze coming in from Carson Bay kept the air cool, especially at night. That breeze felt good on my face. Damien slid his hand along the bar until it was interlocked with mine. We held hands as the merry-go-round spun until it finally started to run out of momentum. Damien gave it a couple of spins with his feet, but that wasn’t enough to really get it going again. I sat there for a second or two before I leaned forward.
“Ready for the fun part?” I tugged on his hand.
“I thought this was the fun part.” He raised his eyebrows.
“No…” I grinned as I put my feet on the ground.
I tried to stand, and Damien held onto my hand. The dizziness wasn’t quite as pleasant as I remembered it being when I was a little girl. The fact that Damien tried to stand up with me didn’t help matters. Luckily, he hadn’t spun around as many times as I had, so he was able to grab the bar pretty quickly when I started to do the adult version of we-all-fall-down in the most expensive dress I owned. He was certainly strong, I had to give him that—not that I doubted it when I saw his muscles pressed against the fabric of his shirt.
“Should we sit down again?” He chuckled and leaned against one of the bars on the merry-go-round.
“Yep!” I nodded and laughed.
I tried to sit down, but I sort of went sideways and stumbled into him instead. He put his other hand above my hip for support, and our eyes met. The spinning world came to a grinding halt. It felt like a dream. I could have sworn that everything around us went silent except for the sound of my heart beating in my ears. Damien pulled me close and crushed my lips beneath his. I always wondered what my first real kiss would be like. Up until now, I’ve had a peck or two—nothing to brag about. But I learned in that moment that it was soul-crushing—that it made my whole body burn like I was standing in a fire—that it made me forget how to breathe even after his lips broke the seal.
My knees were weak, and not from trying to walk after getting off the merry-go-round. Damien sat down and pulled me towards him as he did. Our lips met for the second time, and his tongue danced with mine. The hand that was above my hip moved lower and squeezed my ass through my dress. Every emotion erupted inside me at the same time. Confusion—fear—desire—anticipation. That was a new one.
My panties started to get wet as the fire I was standing in seemed to burn with more intensity. I wanted him, but I was scared. I had never done that with anyone before. If he would have pushed for more, I don’t know if I would have been able to resist his advances because my first taste of true lust was fierce—but he was the one who finally pulled away. Our lips parted, and we both gasped for a moment as we stared into each other eyes.
“We probably should head back to the restaurant…” Damien exhaled sharply. “It’s getting late.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and sighed.
If this is a dream, I’m not sure I want to wake up…
Chapter Six
Damien
I didn’t want to pull back from Leigh when our lips parted, and I certainly didn’t want to end the date, but there was something inside of me that hesitated. It wasn’t because I was thinking about Caroline—it was the absence of those thoughts. I didn’t know how to process that. I lived and breathed by those memories—that lingering turmoil—and to be without it felt foreign like a piece of my soul had been ripped out and discarded. I needed time to work through the thoughts in my head. It was the right thing to do, even if I tasted Leigh’s desire on her lips—felt it in her kiss—and wanted what had come to life between us.
We walked back to the restaurant and shared one more kiss next to her car before she drove out of sight. I headed in the opposite direction with Caroline and Leigh tangled together in my thoughts. One was a memory that I swore I would cherish—the other was in the present—but I had survived in the past so long that it was hard to think about the future. For some reason, I felt like I needed the guilt. Every time I tried to go out with someone, it was easy to give in to that feeling. The Pembroke Hotel stopped bringing balance to the chaos when things spun out of control, and it wasn’t the only part of Caroline trying to push me forward into the unknown.
Maybe it really is time to accept the fact that there is life beyond what could have been—what should have been—what fate’s cruelty took from me.
I really did like Leigh. She was gorgeous—she made me smile—hell, she made me laugh. It had been a long time since I laughed without faking my reaction when the situation called for it. I thought the date was going to off the rails quick when she started asking questions about my family, but it didn’t bother me to talk about it with her. I tasted the same bitterness at first, but even that settled fairly quickly. She was special—there was no doubt about it—I just didn’t feel worthy of her. There was a timidness to her kiss, either from not knowing me well or just plain innocence. I wasn’t sure which yet, but the desire raging in her aquamarine eyes let me know it was still a welcomed kiss. In the restaurant, they looked blue—in the moonlight, they were practically green. She was young, vibrant, and simply stunning—I felt old, worn-out, and jaded.
Yet with her, I felt alive for the first time in years…
I didn’t stay up very long when I got home. There was chaos in my head, but it wasn’t as intense as normal. I felt like I could sleep—like I was coasting on the buzz of the kiss I shared with Leigh, and it could carry me through the darkness of the night that was normally so difficult to endure. It was too bad my therapist couldn’t put that in a pill and write a prescription for it—that was all she ever wanted to do, but nothing that I ever tried to take could cure the despair—most of the time, the chemicals just made things worse. I slept for about two hours before my phone woke me up. It was on vibrate, so it took me a minute to process what I was hearing, but I reached over to see two missed calls from Jenny. Before I could hit the button to call her back, a text message flashed on my screen.
Jenny: Let me know when you wake up.
Damien: You woke me up. Is everything okay?
Jenny: Can you come to the house?
Damien: That’s not a good idea. You can come here if there’s a problem.
Jenny: Dad’s gone, Damien. Please come. Mom needs you…
I was still in a bit of a fog, but seeing Jenny’s last message snapped me awake immediately. I grabbed my clothes and started getting dressed. Gone could mean so many things, especially after what I had been through. Had my father been arrested again? Did he just—leave? Was he dead…? I hated Edgar Sinn, but I didn’t wish death on him, even if I spent my teenage years hoping for his untimely demise. I drove to Sinn Manor for the first time since I left home. I swore I’d never be back. I had been able to see my mother periodically when s
he came by for a visit with Jenny at my house fairly often. If my father was gone, then my reason for staying away left with him—I just wished I knew what version of gone I was about to deal with when I walked through the front door.
“Mom? Jenny?” The door wasn’t locked, so I pushed it open and walked inside.
“Damien!” Jenny came running into the foyer and hugged me immediately.
“What happened?” I gave her a quick hug and then pushed her away.
“He left…” She looked up at me. “He just—got his things and left.”
“Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?” I tilted my head to the side inquisitively.
“Not like this.” She shook her head back and forth. “He got—married.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about? He’s married to our mom…”
“No…” My mother walked into the foyer behind Jenny, and I saw tears in her eyes. “We got divorced after he went to prison.”
“You never told me that…” I walked past Jenny and hugged my mother.
“It was his idea.” She sobbed as she laid her head on my shoulder. “He was afraid that the feds would try to go after his assets—a divorce made that more difficult. He wanted to make sure we were taken care of…”
I doubt that is true, but she doesn’t need to hear it right now.
I comforted my mother, even though I wanted to pour her a drink and celebrate. I tried to get her to leave my father right before he came home from prison. She was so loyal—devoted—and obviously still in love with the damn bastard. I led my mother into the living room, got her to sit down, and I walked into the kitchen so I could get her a glass of water. Jenny’s assumption was right. My father was cheating on my mother, but he wasn’t just keeping a mistress on the side—he didn’t have to. He had pulled some dastardly shit in his time, but his latest bout of cruelty was something else entirely. It was clear that he had broken my mother’s heart into pieces.
“Mom, you should try and get some rest.” I put my hand on her arm. “I know you may not feel like it right now, but it’s pretty late—you’re going to need to talk to a lawyer tomorrow so you can sort all of this out.”
“There’s nothing to sort out.” She lifted her head and looked at me. “I signed everything over to him after he was cleared of the charges—we even talked about getting remarried at some point, but the time was never right...”
“Wait.” I shook my head in confusion. “Everything?”
“I trusted him…” The tears formed in the corner of her eyes again.
“Damn…” I blinked in surprise.
“He said I need to be out of the house by the end of the week. Jenny can stay, of course…” She sighed.
“Screw that!” Jenny’s head snapped back. “I’m not staying here!”
“You can both stay with me.” I patted my mother’s arm.
“Thank you.” My mother nodded. “But—Jenny, you do have to stay.”
“Why?” She leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. “If you’re leaving, I’m leaving.”
“He was very clear—you aren’t allowed to leave.” My mother’s face was just kind of blank—with no real emotion on it. After so many years of following every one of his instructions without questioning him about any of them, it didn’t even occur to her to fight back to keep Jenny.
“Jenny’s seventeen years old.” I glanced at her. “I’ll hire a lawyer, and we’ll keep this tied up in court until she’s eighteen if we have to.”
I had been teetering on the edge of a full-blown explosion of rage since I heard that my father stole Jenny’s trust fund—finding out that my mother was walking away from Sinn Manor with nothing was enough to send me over the edge. I didn’t think there was any way to come back from it after what he had done. I was going to have to confront my father, and it wasn’t going to be peaceful. The bastard had gone too far. My mother deserved at least half of everything, and she was going to get it, even if I had to hire every lawyer in Carson Cove and half of the ones in the city.
“I think I will try to lay down.” My mother put her glass of water on the table, and her hand shook so much I had to grab the water to make sure it didn’t spill.
Jenny walked upstairs with my mother, and I walked to the liquor cabinet so I could pour myself a drink that was a lot stronger than water. Sinn Manor hadn’t changed much since I left. It was my grandfather’s home at one time, and he gave it to my parents as a wedding present. It was supposed to be mine at some point, but I always doubted that my father would be as generous as my grandfather. Over the years, I grew to hate the place—I called it hell because that’s exactly what it felt like when I was growing up there—a lake of misery ruled by a tyrant who might as well have been the devil himself.
“I don’t think she’s going to actually sleep…” Jenny walked back into the living room and sat down. “Thank you so much for coming—I had no idea what to do.”
“I’m always here for the two of you.” I took a sip of my whiskey. “No matter what.”
“Why does he want me to stay?” Jenny leaned her head against the back of the couch. “It doesn’t make any sense. He already took my trust fund—what else does he want from me?”
“I have no idea.” I shook my head back and forth. “He loves making everyone miserable…”
“He didn’t do anything when you left.” She leaned her head forward.
“There wasn’t anything he could do.” I shrugged. “I was old enough to leave if I wanted to.”
“Well I’m not staying here.” She narrowed her eyes. “He will have to chain me to the damn floor before I spend a single night in this place after Mom leaves.”
“I’ll make some calls in the morning. I’m sure a lawyer can stall him out until you’re eighteen—or he’ll give up when he realizes that we’re going to put up a fight.” I exhaled sharply.
I hope…
“What are we going to do about Mom?” Jenny looked down at the floor. “She’s not going to be able to survive without him…”
“She survived just fine while he was in prison.” I took a quick sip of my whiskey. “It won’t be easy, but we’ll help her get through it. She’ll be better off without him, even if this situation sucks right now.”
“He’s cheated on her before—she always forgave him.” Jenny sighed. “What makes this one different? Why the hell did he marry her?”
“I have no idea…” I shook my head back and forth. “We’re not going to get any answers tonight. You need to get some rest too.”
“Will you stay?” She winced. “I know that’s a lot to ask—you hate it here—but…”
“I’ll stay.” I nodded.
Jenny went to bed, and I sat alone in the living room for the rest of the night, just trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Jenny’s question was a valid one—why in the world did our father marry a woman who was essentially his mistress? I didn’t believe the bastard had a heart that could love someone. There had to be another reason. I just had no idea what it was. The confrontation was coming, but I had to be strategic, even if I did want to let my rage loose on the man who had tormented me since the day I was born. Taking care of Jenny and my mother was top priority—and that meant talking to a damn good lawyer who could get shit done.
I might need to ask Jon for a recommendation…
The next morning, my mother came downstairs and started making breakfast. She seemed to be on autopilot—doing the thing she normally did every morning. There was no real emotion in her eyes, and her face was just a blank stare. I ended up going into the kitchen and helping, which equated to doing it all myself while she cried into her coffee. Jenny joined us once breakfast was ready. I ate a few bites. Jenny moved her food around on her plate. My mother didn’t touch hers at all—she decided to just go back to bed. She didn’t look like she had gotten any sleep, so I silently prayed that she would be exhausted enough to pass out at some point. I called Jon, got a
recommendation for an attorney, and called her. She was in Carson Cove, so she agreed to meet with me immediately since the situation was rather urgent.
“Thank you so much for meeting with me.” I stood up as Addison Regan, the woman who was supposedly the best attorney in the state, entered the conference room.
“No problem at all.” She smiled and extended her hand. “I’m already handling another case in Carson Cove, so it wasn’t any trouble at all.”
“I don’t even know if this is a case, really.” I shook her hand and sat down. “Right now, I just need some advice.”
I laid everything out for Addison. My parents got divorced when my father went to prison, but they never stopped truly being husband and wife—well, most husbands wouldn’t have acted like my father did, but that was beside the point. My sister was seventeen, and if emancipation was an option, it needed to be explored. At the very least, I needed her to stall the case out if my father tried to sue for custody or something. I hoped that realizing we were going to fight would be enough to make him back off entirely.
“This is definitely a case.” Addison nodded after I finished explaining my situation. “It’s a complicated one, but it’s going to come down to how far your mother is willing to go.”
“What do you mean?” I raised my eyebrows inquisitively.
“Based on what you’ve just told me, the divorce was basically fraud. I need to do some research into your father’s criminal case to get a better feel for what I’m dealing with.” She looked down at her notes. “Unfortunately, we may not be able to pursue this angle if there is an option for it…”
“Why?” I tilted my head.
“If the divorce was fraud—designed to protect your father’s assets—then your mother could face charges too. She was an accomplice.” Addison tapped her pen on the paper. “I don’t believe that’s what you’re after here.”
Devious Intentions (Carson Cove Sandals Book 3) Page 5