by Amity Cross
The night before, I cut out on the after party altogether and went straight back to my room and crashed. I tried to convince myself I was just tired after an early morning flight and another show and wasn’t being antisocial at all. Secretly, I was too embarrassed to look at Will, let alone talk to him.
Frank opened his arms wide and spun around. “This is the lap of luxury,” he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Dee tackled him with a laugh, and they almost fell to the ground in a heap. I was so glad they were there. Their idiotic behavior detracted from mine.
Bob, our driver, was laughing as the boys wrestled each other. For me, it was way too early for that kind of enthusiasm.
“Do you mind driving around a bunch of degenerates like them?” I asked him.
“Nah.” He shook his head. “I’m an old rocker myself, so for me, it’s kinda fun. Reliving the old days.”
It wasn’t a full-sized bus, so once we’d stuck in the bags that couldn’t fit in the trailer, we had to cram in with little space to spread out.
Simone was following us in a rental car, a swish little 4WD crammed full with both bands’ merchandise. Dean was off somewhere and was going to meet us in Sydney by the weekend, so for the time being, she was the only manager with us and was more than glad to handle The Stabs, as well. Sometimes, I had to remind myself this was Simone’s dream as well as ours.
Dee winked at me from under Frank’s armpit where he was in a headlock, and I knew there was incoming. Glancing at the door to the hotel, the guys from The Stabs were walking toward us, bleary-eyed in the sunlight. Seemed like they had a hard night after I left the venue, and I tried not to care how hard it was.
Will had on aviator glasses and a worn denim jacket, and I found myself staring and feeling a little hot under the collar. He held two takeout cups of coffee and was saying something to Sticks, who was shaking his head and knocking away one of the cups, but who knew what that was. I was too busy thinking about my hands in his hair…again.
“Got an extra coffee,” Will said to no one in particular. “Anyone want it?”
“Zoe wants it,” Dee said, and right then, I could have killed him.
He held it out, and I went to take it, but my hand shook so much it slipped from my fingers and fell to the concrete, splashing over my boots.
“Shit,” I cursed, my face flaming red.
“Aw, dammit,” Will hissed, jumping back a step.
I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me, but I was seriously beginning to think I had some kind of mental deficiency where good-looking guys were concerned. I picked up the now empty cup and walked over to the bin, doing my best to ignore Dee’s laughter so I could escape my awkward nightmare. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
As I walked back, Simone gave me a knowing grimace.
“Can I ride with you?” I asked wryly. It was only an hour to the Gold Coast, but I couldn’t think of anything worse than riding in that bus today.
She looked at me and then looked at the boys loitering in the car park and nodded. “Sure.”
“Zoe?” Dee called as we began to walk toward the car.
“I’m riding with Simone today,” I called back. “I’ll entertain you tomorrow.”
He shielded his eyes from the sun, and even without looking, I could tell he was concerned. He would be kicking himself now for making fun of me. Something so small shouldn’t get to me like this, but he knew me well enough to know it cut.
I waved him off and opened the passenger side door to Simone’s rental. As I settled in, she slid on her black rimmed glasses and started the car. On anyone else, they would look super awkward, but she could pull the nerd glasses off like no one’s business. She turned on the radio to Absolute and a Two Door Cinema Club song was playing. As the bus pulled out of the car park, she followed, tapping her fingers against the wheel.
She shifted in her seat about a million times before we’d even hit the highway, and it was only a few blocks away.
“Are you okay?” I asked, glancing at her and then to the road ahead where the bus with my awkward crush and my infuriating best friend was sitting at a traffic light.
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.
“Uh, sure,” I replied, curious as to what had her worked up.
“How well do you know Chris?”
“Chris?” I asked surprised.
“Yeah, you guys spend a lot of time together. With the band and stuff.”
“Yeah, I guess we know each other pretty well.”
“Does he ever mention me?” She said it in a small voice, which made me think she was embarrassed to be talking about him.
“Do you like him or something?”
Her skin was so pale it was totally obvious when she blushed. “I’ve known him for years,” she said. “But we haven’t been that close. Not until now.”
“You should tell him,” I said, offering up advice I couldn’t take myself. “He’s a good guy. Ask him out.”
“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
I didn’t know what to say to that without sounding like a hypocrite.
“Could you say something to him?” she went on. “I mean, to see how he might take it?”
“Like an undercover cop?” I joked.
She laughed, and I was glad my joke had succeeded in cheering her up a little. “It’s just I’m firmly in the friend zone.”
“And you don’t know how to get out of it?”
“Totally. Would you ask him?”
“Sure. I’ll scope it out.”
“Covertly.” She grinned at me.
“Covertly.”
We merged onto the highway behind the bus, and it was smooth sailing until we hit the beach. We both laughed when ‘Walls’ came onto the radio, and she made me sing along. It always felt weird hearing my own voice coming out of a set of speakers, but it was slowly growing on me. So far, Simone hadn’t brought up the coffee incident, but I should have known she was biding her time to bring up boy chat again. It seemed to be her favorite topic other than music.
“What’s with you and Will?” She peered at me with one eye on the road.
“What are you talking about?” I said a little too quickly.
She laughed at my reaction. “You like him,” she teased.
I rolled my eyes, knowing the reality wasn’t so light and fluffy. “Not gonna happen.”
“Why not?”
“Why would it?” I grimaced.
“He’d be stupid not to go for you.”
“I don’t want a fling,” I said, annoyed.
“Hmm,” Simone said in thought. “He does have that reputation, doesn’t he?”
“Which is why it will never happen.”
“That was awkward as hell back there.”
“One of the more stupid reactions I’ve had.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Zoe,” Simone said kindly. “I’ve seen him looking at you.”
“People do that when I’m on stage.”
She scoffed. “No, not then.”
I frowned. When was he looking at me?
“The other night at the Hi-Fi back in Melbourne,” she continued as if she’d read my thoughts.
Oh, I remembered what he was doing back in Melbourne. Letting some random chick rub her tits all over him. He probably took her out back and fucked her. The thought had my pulse racing with something akin to jealousy.
“He was all over that girl,” I said sullenly.
“He was hardly paying attention to her. He was too busy seeing if it pissed you off or not.”
I felt my cheeks turning red and thought about the death glares I’d shot at him. They were pretty epic. Some of my best.
“Will’s into you,” Simone declared like it was a done deal with a happily ever after.
“Too bad,” I shot back with a little too much anger in my voice. “I don’t want a fling. I don’t want anything.”
It was silent for a while after that, and it seemed li
ke Simone had gotten the hint. I did not want to talk about Will Strickland or any reference to my love life—ever. So Simone’s next question came right out of left field and caught me off guard.
“Did something happen to you?” she asked carefully, breaking the silence with a resounding crash.
“Yeah,” I heard myself saying from somewhere very far away. Simone had that effect on me. The one where she was easy to talk to.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I sighed, glancing out the window at the passing countryside. “I went through a bad break up,” I began. “Everyone believed him, and not one of them believed me. I ended up with a broken arm and a broken life. If it wasn’t for Dee, I don’t know where I’d be now.”
“Fuck, Zoe.”
“It’s much better now.”
“Your arm…”
“Dee started the band to help me,” I said, ignoring her. “I owe him everything.”
“Well, I’m glad,” she said. “Cos I got to be friends with you.”
I looked over at her then, and she glanced back to the road with a smile.
“We’re besties, right?” she asked.
I let out a small laugh, the tension easing from my shoulders. “Besties.”
She held up her fist and declared, “Sisters before misters.”
Cracking a smile, I bumped my fist against hers.
Chapter 6
“Sorry.”
I turned around and found Dee behind me, scuffing his toe against the carpet. I knew he was talking about the coffee incident, and seriously, it was such a small thing to be upset about I’d already let it go.
“Whatever,” I said. “Don’t apologize for my totally insane social issues.”
We were backstage at the venue hanging out until it was time to go on. The Gold Coast was actually pretty nice if you could get past the whole ‘Hollywood on the Gold Coast’ slogan. It was packed with theme parks, wildlife sanctuaries, casinos, and kilometers of white beaches. We had a photo shoot scheduled for the next day down by the surf, and I was actually looking forward to it for once.
“It was a stupid thing to do,” Dee said.
“It’s a stupid thing for me to get worked up about.”
He smiled then, and it reminded me of when we were kids and he had something devious planned. “I’ve got a present for you.”
“Really? What’s the occasion? I mean, other than you being a doofus.”
He chose to ignore me. “It’s eight months today since we started the band.”
“Really?” Went to show how fast things had turned around.
He put his hand into the back pocket of his battered jeans and pulled out a copy of our album, Do Me a Favor.
“Uh, thanks Dee, but I’ve already got one of those.”
“Not this one,” he declared, shoving it into my hands.
I opened it up, but it was exactly the same. “What am I meant to be doing with it?”
“Open the booklet up, Zo Zo.” He looked extremely pleased with himself, and I knew he’d done something while I was in the car with Simone.
I took it out of the cardboard cover and opened it up. It was full of black and white photos of us on stage, promo photos, and candids. All the lyrics were written out in longhand, which gave it that photocopied punk zine look. Toward the back, there were a few mostly white pages with bright photos. In the spaces, there were little messages written. One each from Dee, Frank, and Chris.
To Zoe, The raddest chick and guitar player I know. Without you, we wouldn’t be here today. You are The Devil’s Tattoo, babe. Love Frank.
Zoe, honored to have met you and count you as a best mate. Never change. xx Chris.
And below, was Dee’s message. To my best friend, Zoe Granger, aka hot legs. The day I met you was the day my life began. You’re my sister and my family, and I love you more than you’ll ever know. To quote Bryan Adams, ‘Everything I Do, I Do It For You.’ Thank you for making my dream come true. And to quote Chris, ‘NEVER CHANGE.’ xxxx Dee
I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and suddenly, Dee had me in his arms.
“Stop it,” I said. “You’re ruining my makeup.”
“Love you, Zo Zo.”
“Love you, Dee.” I wiped the back of my hand underneath my eye. “You apologize for the stupidest shit, you know.”
“Best I apologize for everything in case I fuck up and don’t know it,” he replied. “Then I’m always in the good books.”
Thankfully, the gig that night was one of our best to date.
Seemed that making me angry made for a better show. You know, more raw emotion to filter into our songs. It didn’t help that they were all about love and sex, but I was sure the audience got their money’s worth, so much so, I wondered what the review was going to be like.
Dee was so excited about the photos he was running around like a two-year-old high on sugar, refreshing our Facebook page on his phone a million times.
For the first time since the tour began, I didn’t stick around to watch The Stabs. Instead, I disappeared into the crowd where I was accosted by people telling me how awesome I was. I spent the rest of the night with Simone at the merchandise table, and I was even asked by a few people to sign their albums and take selfies. If someone had asked me a year ago if I could see myself here as I was right now, I would have told them they were mad. No, scratch that. I would’ve turned red and run away. The Devil’s Tattoo was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Period.
After the gig, the venue turned into a quasi-club that didn’t close until three a.m., so we all decided to stick around and have a dance and a few drinks. We were all riding high after our performance, and for the first time, I didn’t care one iota about Will Strickland. I felt like I could rule the entire bloody world.
We were all gathered around a table—Dee, Frank, Chris, and I—laughing and talking up a storm when I looked up and saw Dee’s eyes darken in annoyance.
“What?” I elbowed him.
“It really pisses me off the way he does that.” He scowled, and one look confirmed I knew what he was on about. Will was up to his old tricks again taking advantage of the string of female fans who had hung around for the club.
It was no use hiding my ill-advised crush from the guys anymore since everyone seemed to know without me telling them. “I need to get over that like last century.”
“You should get one up on him,” Dee said, turning his back on the performance.
“Why?” I asked with a grimace. “It’s not like he’s got a crush on me.”
“Totally does,” Frank said. “How are you the only one who hasn’t noticed?”
“Probably because I’m firmly planted in reality,” I said with a dramatic eye roll.
The Naked and Famous’s song ‘Young Blood’ came on, and Frank’s eyes lit up with a wicked sparkle. “Come and dance with me, Zoe.” He grabbed my hand and began to tug me toward the dance floor. “I know you like this song.”
“And you can get one up on manwhore,” Dee said, nodding toward the one place I didn’t want to look.
“If you can’t dirty dance with your band brothers to make jerk-offs jealous, then what are we good for?” Frank whispered in my ear.
I laughed the first genuine laugh since the tour had started and squeezed his hand. “Let’s go, bro.”
We disappeared into the mass of people on the dance floor, and Frank positioned us under a blue spotlight. Grabbing me around the waist, he pulled me against the length of his muscled body, and I didn’t care in the slightest. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we moved to the bouncy song and sang along to the words, having the time of our lives. When it inevitably slowed down, he twirled me around and pulled me closer so that we were cheek to cheek.
“Death stares at two o’clock on the rocket clock,” he murmured into my ear, and I knew he loved it.
“You’re such a bad influence, Frankie,” I murmured back, and he spun me around again like we were doing some kin
d of mashed up ballroom dance.
“I’m all about being used for my body.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
I threw my head back and laughed, and he took the opportunity to dip me low to the floor before pulling me back up.
“These arms can do more than just drum, Zo Zo.” He smiled wickedly. “You know what they say about a good beat.”
“Gross,” I exclaimed.
“Feel the beat, Zo.”
“I can feel something against my thigh, and it ain’t the beat.”
When the song came to an end and melted into another bubbly electro number, Frank pulled me off the dance floor. “Let me get you another drink.”
“You’d better.” I laughed. “After that dance, I think I might be pregnant.”
“Because I’m that good.”
Thoroughly disgusted, I pushed him toward the bar. “Get a move on, smartass.”
Dee shook his head at me as I stood next to him, my face flushed. “Mission accomplished.”
“Was I on a mission?”
“You totally were. Don’t deny it.”
I shrugged. “Okay. Maybe it was a little satisfying. Now we can all move on.”
“If you were aiming to get one up on the sleazebag, I think you just got a hundred up.”
“I never knew Frank could dance like that.”
“How is that man single?” Dee agreed like we were girlfriends chatting about cute boys.
I didn’t really care about what Will thought. Dancing with Frank was fun, and we were friends, and no matter what they thought, I just wanted to make the most of this tour with them because who knew what would happen next.
What I didn’t want to acknowledge was that deep down I actually wanted to make Will fumingly jealous. I wanted to see steam coming out of his ears. I wanted him to know what it felt like.
I still didn’t believe what everyone was saying about Will being into me, but even Simone had noticed. Was he really trying to make me jealous? If he was, he was going about it the wrong way.
“That guy is shameless.” Dee shook his head, reading my thoughts. “I mean, I’m all for a good time, but that’s a new level. I don’t string ’em on.”