by Amity Cross
“Did you mean it?” I asked, glancing up into his stormy gray eyes. “Did you mean to kiss her back?”
“No,” he said like he was pleading with me.
“Why did you?”
“I don’t know. I realized what I was doing a second too late. I told her I was in love with you, but she came back again tonight and…”
“Stop,” I whispered.
It looked like we both had twisted relationships that had tried to crawl in and ruin everything. He hadn’t been truthful, but neither had I. I had to let him explain, but right now, I just wanted to go home.
To Will’s surprise, I stepped into him and rested my head against his shoulder. “Take me home.”
We were silent all the way back to my place in St Kilda.
When the taxi dropped us off, I led Will up to my little apartment and pulled him into the darkness. I was so aware of his proximity in the gloom that my amped-up emotions latched onto the fact he was there beside me. I’d always been attracted to him, but this was something else, and I began to understand the way he’d needed me the day before in the back of the venue. I was overwhelmed, but all I could think about was his lips on mine.
My hand fisted into his shirt, and I pulled him against me, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth. Instantly, his body responded, and he caught my kiss with one of his own. Moaning into his mouth, I felt my insides clench in anticipation.
“Zoe,” he said breathlessly.
“Shhh,” I murmured. “Don’t.”
Leaning back against the kitchen counter, I ran my hands down his back and underneath the waistband of his jeans, feeling his warm skin. He seemed to be unsure of my reaction, and to make myself clear, I sank my nails into his flesh, pressing my lips against the corner of his jaw.
“Are you sure?” he asked with a frown. “I don’t…”
“Please,” I murmured against his lips. “I need you.”
“Zoe—”
“You once said that you’d do anything I asked,” I interrupted. “I’m asking. I don’t care what happens next. I need you inside me.”
He let out a strangled moan, his eyes closed. “I want you, Zo, so much. But after what I did…”
“I need you to fuck me, Will Strickland.”
That seemed to work. He let his jacket drop to the floor and pushed mine from my shoulders, flinging it over the couch. Without breaking rhythm, he tore my T-shirt over my head, and my hair cascaded wildly over my face. Pushing it out of the way, he trailed featherlight kisses down my chest before unhooking my bra and freeing my breasts.
Teasing my nipples with his tongue, he said, “Hard or slow, Zoe? Tell me how you want me to fuck you.”
When he spoke like that, it made my insides clench tight. I knew I was wet, and I wanted it any way I could get it.
“Hard.” I gasped as he pulled his shirt off and fumbled with the button of my skinny jeans. “Fast.”
Kicking my boots off, he did the same, and with one hard tug, he pulled down my jeans and underwear in one go. His followed, but not before he pulled a condom out.
“Do you want it here?” he whispered against my lips. “From behind? In your bed?”
“Stop talking,” I complained. “I want to come.”
With a wild growl, he picked me up, holding my body against his. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed me against the wall, thrusting inside me and burying deep.
“God.” I gasped and bit into the skin of his shoulder, but he didn’t stop. He held me against the wall and moved inside me, his thrusts relentless, driving me closer and closer to the edge. I wanted hard and fast, and he sure knew how to give it to me.
“Fuck, Zoe,” he said through a grunt. “You make me burn. Just you. Only you.”
He pushed me back onto the kitchen countertop, my back flat on the cool surface as he stood over me. Holding a leg over his shoulder, he didn’t slow his rhythm, pounding in and out of me. Seeing the unmasked pleasure on his face almost undid me. I’d never seen that look in anyone’s eyes before, and somehow, I knew this wasn’t just for me. This took him as completely as it did me.
As I felt an orgasm building inside, I took my breast in my hand, kneading the sensitive flesh, while my other hand went toward my clit, which was open and wanting at this angle. As my fingers began to circle, Will gasped, his hand tightening on my thigh.
“Don’t stop.” I moaned as I began to come, calling out his name. Arching my back, I tightened around him, urging him to follow…and he did. The look on his face gave away how hard his release was as we watched each other fall over the edge.
As he gasped one last time and slumped over me, I wrapped my legs around him.
I ran my hands through his hair as the stubble on his jaw rasped against my naked breasts, both our chests heaving with exertion. The pure need I’d felt earlier was more than satisfied.
“Take me to bed,” I whispered, moving against his length that was still deep inside me. “We both have some explaining to do.”
Chapter 21
It didn’t register completely when Will took me to bed and pulled the covers over my naked body. Nor did it register when he went out and came back. A cold cloth pressed against the side of my face, and I gasped at the sudden temperature change.
“I nicked your peas,” Will said, propping himself up on an elbow beside me.
“S’ok.” I took the packet of frozen peas he’d wrapped in a tea towel and pressed it against my eye. I was sure I’d have a shiner there for a week or so.
“I’m so sorry, Zoe. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His hand caressed up and down the curve of my waist, the muted glow from the security light outside highlighting the worry in his features. “I’ll understand if you want to end this. I don’t want you to, but—”
I silenced him mid-sentence with a soft kiss, my fingernails pressing into his back. “Shut up.”
“Zoe,” he whispered against my mouth, and I dropped the frozen peas on the floor.
“Tell me the truth. Everything.”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know where to start.”
“At the beginning helps.”
“The beginning…” He let out another long sigh. “I didn’t want you to have to deal with her. I thought I could have words with her and get her to back off, but she turned up, anyway.”
“Who was she to you?”
“She was my girlfriend. We’d been together for around three years.”
I’d been with Jason for almost two years. I knew a long relationship like that would’ve had to be serious. We’d both had someone before, but it still hurt that he’d loved someone else. Despite my jealousy, I had to keep asking questions if I was going to get over this. If we both were. “What’s her deal?”
“Mish is a model. She does stuff like Fashion Week, photo shoots, and sometimes goes overseas. About two years ago now, she was opening a show for some big designer in Sydney. It was a big deal, so I flew up to surprise her. It wasn’t until I caught her in the act that I realized what had been going on. Every time she’d go away, she’d screw her way through any male model she came across.”
“You walked in on her?”
“In the throws.”
I frowned, understanding how being cheated on tore your heart in two.
“It really messed me up. I blamed myself for the longest time. I agonized over everything I’d done, wondering where it had gone wrong. I must’ve done something to push her away, but I didn’t know what. She crawled back, and I let her, but it wasn’t the same. The trust was gone, you know? I ended up breaking it off with her. That was a month before that gig at The Corner. You know the one I saw you at?”
“Yeah. How could I forget?”
“I felt like I was drowning, and you brought me back. This mysterious woman in the crowd threw me a lifeline.” He let his gaze fall away from mine. “The other day…on your birthday, she started messaging me. Saying she missed us and wanted to see me. It was so out of the blue it thr
ew me off balance.”
“That was why you were so distant?” I asked with a scowl.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. It’s just been such a fast turnaround. You know with you and…” He trailed off mid-sentence, a pained expression on his face.
I knew what he meant. The emotional turnaround had given us a both a serious case of whiplash.
“I know now that I didn’t love her. I thought I did at the time, but what that was pales in comparison to what I feel for you. It was a mistake.”
“Will…”
“I didn’t mean to, Zoe,” he pleaded desperately. “I didn’t mean to do it.”
I ran my hand up his warm chest, feeling the pounding of his heart. I trailed my fingers along his collarbone and up his neck, finally cupping his face. Gazing into his eyes, I realized how sincere he was. I’d never thought Will would be the kind of guy to cry, but his eyes sparkled with moisture.
“Seems we both have a psycho ex who wants to capitalize on our fragile emotional states,” I said, shifting against him, so our legs tangled.
He gazed at me with a puzzled look, like he didn’t understand the meaning behind my words. I was beginning to forgive him.
“Jason and I…” I began, but he placed a finger over my lips, silencing me before I could go any further.
“You don’t have to,” he whispered. “I’m not mad at you for not telling me. I understand why you didn’t. You stood up to him. I caved when it came to my own confrontation.”
“I want to,” I said firmly.
“You’re stronger than you realize, Zo. You put me to shame.”
“I need to tell you, Will.”
“If it’s what you want.”
I took a deep breath, wrapping my arm around his familiar body. I needed familiar to get through this. I hadn’t told the entire story to anyone since I lay in the hospital with Dee by my bedside. I never told my parents the whole truth. They didn’t need that kind of worry. So much time had passed that I wasn’t sure if I remembered how it went. I’d been out of it mentally for a long time.
“I knew something was wrong the moment he came home,” I explained. “He was different. He couldn’t look at me. I asked him what was wrong, and he just laid it out there. He’d been seeing another woman behind my back for six months. I’d been oblivious. I was happy.” I stifled a sob.
Will’s hand tightened on my waist, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.
“My first mistake was to slap him in the face. Then he told me that he was in love with her, and they were getting married. The next week. My second mistake was to punch him in the face. I was so angry…”
“It wasn’t a mistake.” Will’s voice was quiet and thin.
I silenced him with a finger over his lips, and the tension set in his jaw was unnerving. “Then he hit me.”
His eyes squeezed shut.
“My reaction was to run. He’d never raised a hand to me before. Ever. I was terrified. He came after me, of course, and grabbed my arm just as I was about to go down the stairs. I yelled at him to let me go, so he did. I turned, and that was when I felt his hand on my back.”
“God, Zoe.”
“I remember everything. I remember falling down onto the concrete below. I remember screaming. I remember the sound my arm made when it broke.” Tears began to spill out of my eyes.
“The scar on your arm,” he said, tracing the lines of my tattoo.
“I had to have surgery. It wasn’t healing, so they had to fix it. I couldn’t deal with seeing it, so I had it tattooed.”
“It doesn’t look like a surgical scar.”
“I broke it so badly the bone was sticking out.”
He drew in a sharp hiss. “Bloody hell.”
“Mrs. Cooper downstairs heard my screams and came out. By that time, Jason had already run off. She called an ambulance and Dee.”
“That bastard ran off?”
“I could’ve called the cops. He could’ve gone to jail. But there were no witnesses. It was my word against his, and I didn’t have the kind of money it would have taken to fight it in court. I had no choice but to let it go. It was a week or so before I got out of the hospital, and in all that time, Dee and my parents were the only people who came to see me. It wasn’t until I went home that I found out Jason had been telling lies to everyone. I tried to tell them the truth, but they were quick to brand me the jealous ex-girlfriend. I got hateful emails and messages. I deleted my Facebook account, got a new phone number and email. I had to fall off the face of the earth or end up in some psycho hospital. They seemed to forget the part where Jason had blatantly cheated on me. They all sided with him and believed the story that I’d just fallen.”
“Everyone but Dee.”
“Dee was the only friend I had outside of his.”
“If I ever see that bastard again…”
“It’s over, Will.”
“What about the other woman?”
“In the beginning, I tried to find her to talk to her. Tell her the truth. But I couldn’t find her, and nobody would talk to me.”
“What did he say to you tonight? Why was he even there?”
Remembering how Jason had approached me, saying he missed what we had, I shuddered. “He wanted me back.”
“What the actual fuck?”
“He didn’t admit to it, but something must’ve gone wrong with his marriage. He must’ve seen how well I was doing now and wanted to crawl back. You know, the whole victim messed up mentality. Maybe he wanted to take advantage. I’d never let him. Not after what he did.”
“Zoe,” Will murmured, holding me close. “God, your resolve is so bloody strong. I feel like a coward next to you.”
“I was a coward,” I said. “For two years, I was hiding myself away in fear of what people would think about me. Then Dee got me to play in this silly band called The Devil’s Tattoo. Somewhere along the way, I decided to live again, but even then, it wasn’t right, not yet.”
Will pressed his lips to my forehead, fingers trembling against the skin of my cheek.
I wasn’t quite finished yet. “How the hell does someone recover from that kind of betrayal? I never did. I realize that now. I’m sorry I ran off that day. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t help the tears that began to stream from my eyes.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Zoe. Nothing.”
“I panicked.”
Will let out a long, shaky breath and pressed his lips against my forehead again. “I wish I could take it away. I want to make it better.”
“Did you mean it? What you said before?” I whispered.
He cupped my chin and drew my tear-stained face to his. “I love you, Zoe Granger. I don’t even know how that’s possible, but I do. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid I’d scare you away.”
“I never thought I’d be able to let anyone else in,” I said carefully. “But you walked in with your infuriatingly sexy stubble and turned me upside down. You scared me shitless.”
“If it’s any consolation, I felt exactly the same way.”
“Then,” I whispered, “you took it away.”
He gazed at me with hope in his eyes, and my heart flip-flopped like it did the first time he’d spoken to me. “Zoe, tell me I haven’t fucked this up.”
“You really are a class A jerk, Will Strickland.” After what we’d been through, he still hesitated. I captured his mouth with mine and kissed him, taking control. “You’re mine.”
He had me on my back a second later, a knee pressing between my legs. “If I’m yours, then you’re mine.” He kissed me long and slow, his tongue teasing mine, and it was full of everything he felt for me. Everything fell away, and it was just him and me.
The cold packet of peas was back against my face, and instantly, it cooled everything else down as well.
“How’s your hand?” he asked, pulling it up to his mouth, lips brushing against my tender knuckles.
�
��Sore.”
“You have a mean right hook, Zo.”
“I never knew.” I pulled my hand away and pressed it against the top of the frozen peas.
“Do you think it might be broken?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I think it’s just gonna bruise a little.”
“Damn.” He sighed. “You have an awesome new guitar to play, too.”
For the first time in days, I smiled a genuine smile. It would take a little time, but somehow, I knew we were going to be okay. He loved me.
“We’re going to Europe in two weeks,” Will said, suddenly serious. “I’ll be gone almost three months.”
“I know.” And I didn’t like it one bit, but maybe time apart would do us good.
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“It’s okay. I have a Fender to keep me warm at night.”
“Zoe.” He groaned, pulling me against the length of his body. “You’re making me feel inadequate.”
I ran a thumb over his nipple in slow, lazy circles and teased the edge of his jaw with small fluttering kisses.
“That’s a little better,” he said through heavy breaths, moving against me, the frozen peas falling aside again. “Seriously, though, Zo. You need some rest. It’s two a.m.” He rolled me over, wrapping his arms around my body, obviously intending to stay. I pressed back into him and closed my eyes. He could stay as long as he wanted.
“I love you, Zoe Granger,” he said against my hair. “I know you’re not ready to say it. I know it’ll take time after everything, but I’ll wait.”
“Will…”
“Shh,” he whispered, capturing my lips with his thumb. “I’m never letting you go again.”
Chapter 22
Three months later...
The day after our last gig, Will took me down to the police station, and we both lodged our statements.
I told them everything from the beginning. The day Jason had come home and told me about his cheating, his assault, and the slander that had followed. Even Dee came and gave his statement, though he hadn’t been a direct witness. They said without substantial evidence, there wasn’t much they could do to pursue a charge for the earlier assault, but they could seek a conviction for the previous night. With the statements from Will and the bouncer from the bar and some CCTV footage, they were able to pin a charge. It went to court a few weeks later, but he got off with a caution and a mild good behavior bond.