“Hi, um—”
“I’m sorry to wake you,” I said, though I didn’t feel sorry at all. In fact, I couldn’t keep the smile from my face just looking at her. She looked innocent and sweet, her lips slightly parted as she stared at me. There was definite interest on her face, though she tried to hide it by looking away.
“I needed to get up anyway,” she said, her arms crossed over her chest. “What’s up?”
“Well,” I began, looking at her bashfully. “I need your help.”
“With what?”
“I have a commercial to film in about half an hour and my babysitter cancelled—I have no one to watch Luna and I—I really need this job.”
She stared at me and for a moment I felt filled with embarrassment for even asking.
“I really haven’t watched a kid since high school,” she said. “I really don’t know how.”
“She’s so easy. She’s such a good kid,” I told her. I held her eye, knowing how desperate I sounded. “Please. I wouldn’t ask if I had another choice.”
After a moment, she nodded, and I felt relief fill me. I took her hand without thinking, holding it between my own. It was small and warm and fit in mine perfectly.
“Thank you so much, Ellie,” I told her. “I’ll bring her over in a minute.”
“It’s okay,” Ellie said, looking down at our hands. She pulled hers away but there was a reluctant look on her face. “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll see you in a minute.”
“Okay,” I said, and then went back into my apartment.
“Get dressed, Luna,” I told her. “I found you a babysitter.”
She got up and went into her room. I followed her in, sitting on the small bed.
“Who?” she asked.
“Do you remember Ellie? The woman who lives across the hall?”
“She said I had pretty eyes,” Luna gushed. “That lady?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling at the memory. The way to Luna’s heart was treating her like she was the prettiest girl in the world, and Ellie had done that within ten seconds of meeting her. “Would you like to go see her?”
“Yeah!” said Luna, picking out the same dress that she always wore. It was frilly and purple, though she liked to wear it with the light-up dinosaur tennis shoes that Alice had gotten her for Christmas. It didn’t exactly match, but it suited Luna to a tee, and I found that we were both happiest when she wore whatever she wanted.
I left Luna’s room and got ready for my commercial. I’d felt more nervous about seeing Ellie than I did about going to the shoot. Acting—being in front of a camera—was something that came naturally to me. I was good at it and I enjoyed it. I knew if I’d been given the opportunity, I would have been more successful by now, but my chances had been dashed the moment Maria had decided that she didn’t really want to be a mother to our beautiful daughter. My life became all about Luna, and I was okay with that, but I couldn’t help but sometimes imagine what might have been if my life had taken a different path.
I knocked on Ellie’s door again, Luna’s hand laced in my own. When Ellie answered, she was wearing a pale blue dress, one that flattered her pretty skin, narrow waist and curvy hips. I looked her over, unable to control my eyes as they wandered over her body. When I met her eye again, she was blushing, but there was a pleased look on her face. She looked down at Luna.
“Hi, Luna,” Ellie said with a bright smile.
“Hi,” said Luna, letting go of my hand and wrapping her arms around Ellie. Ellie looked at me in surprise and I smiled—when Luna took to someone, she really took to them. Ellie hugged my daughter back and invited her inside. Luna was about to skip past her and into the apartment when I put my hand on her small shoulder.
“Where are you going, Miss Luna? You haven’t even given me a hug.”
Luna turned around and without hesitation leaped into my arms, snuggling me with her arms around my neck. I kissed her and put her down, ruffling her hair.
“Have fun today, baby,” I said to her as she went inside. Ellie was still standing in the doorway, her eyes on me.
“Good luck today,” she said.
“You too,” I told her, and she laughed, then shut the door.
I left the building then and headed toward the bus stop. It wasn’t as convenient to take the bus as it was to take my car, but it was an easy way to get around that I was adjusting more to every day. I climbed on and sat in the backseat, looking out the window as the bus started down the street again.
My mind wandered to Ellie, beautiful Ellie. There was something about her that I couldn’t put my finger on, something so sexy it ached to look at her. Every time we touched I’d felt an electricity in my body that I hadn’t felt even with Maria. I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to see and touch more of Ellie.
I tried to suppress my thoughts on the bus ride but they seemed to grow the closer we got to the place I was going to be shooting the commercial. I imagined Ellie all spread out and naked in bed, that innocent look in her eyes as I sucked on those small, perky breasts, my mouth moving lower and lower. I wondered how a girl like Ellie would react to my mouth on her pussy, wondering if she’d squirm and moan, if the sounds of her pleasure were as sweet as her voice.
We pulled up at my stop and I shook the thoughts from my head, knowing that I needed to be clear-headed in order to effectively pull off the commercial. I couldn’t be thinking about sex during a job, though I had a feeling now that Ellie was in my head, it was going to be hard to get her out. I wondered if she was single or if she was a lesbian like Alice, and hoped that the latter wasn’t true. Even though I knew I couldn’t have a relationship with Ellie, it would be nice to know that she wasn’t completely off-limits.
4
Ellie
I watched Luna as she lay on her stomach on the floor, crayons spread all around her, coloring on a sheet of printer paper that I’d given her. She’d been content like this for an hour, and I was filled with relief that she was such a good little girl. I had no idea what I would have done if Luna had been a terror—probably hid in my bedroom and waited until Lucas got home, praying that she wouldn’t destroy anything. But she was an angel, sweet and well-behaved.
I wondered about Luna’s mother as I looked at her. I hadn’t seen the beautiful blonde woman since the day they walked in, and I was starting to wonder whether the woman was Luna’s mother at all. Surely if she was, she’d be around more, and Lucas wouldn’t have had to ask a total stranger to watch his daughter in order for him to work. For some reason, the thought he might be single made my chest feel light. I scolded myself for it—I had no business feeling attracted to anybody. I didn’t have time for a man in my life and after what I’d been through with my last boyfriend, I had no interest. Still, Lucas was so handsome, and I could tell just from looking into his eyes that he was kind and smart too.
“Will you come color with me, Ellie?” Luna asked, looking over her shoulder at me from the floor. “I need help.”
“Sure, sweetie,” I said, crouching down on the floor. “What do you need help with?”
She picked up a dull blue crayon. “This one is broken.”
“It just needs to be fixed,” I said to her, taking the crayon and peeling the paper back so that she could use it again. “See?”
“You’re so smart, Ellie,” the little girl said. She held up the picture she was drawing. “This is for you.”
“It’s beautiful,” I told her, and it was, vivid with colors that spiraled into each other.
“I have to finish it,” the little girl said and went back into her own world, the one kids inhabited when they were entertaining themselves. I got up and went into the kitchen to make the little girl a snack, thinking about how good a father Lucas must be if his daughter was so sweet. That was a massive turn-on for me, too, thinking about how kind he was.
Luna got up from coloring after a couple of hours and insisted on playing hide and seek in my apartment. It was never something
I would have considered fun before but searching for Luna, hearing how she giggled and gave away her spot every time, was by far a more enjoyable way to spend my day than agonizing over my book sales.
The day passed quickly and I was exhausted by the time the doorbell rang. I felt something flutter in my chest, glancing over at Luna.
“Your dad’s here,” I said. Her face lit up and she ran to the door, throwing it open and throwing her arms around Lucas. He picked her up and spun her around, planting kisses on her sweet face as he grinned. He looked at me then, that charming smile on his face, and I felt like I could have melted just from looking at him.
“How was it?” he asked.
“We had a good time. She’s a good girl.”
“She is,” he said, ruffling her hair as she wrapped her arm around his leg.
“Do you want to come in for dinner?” I blurted out without even thinking about it. I hadn’t planned to cook and was just going to go out for a quick meal, but suddenly I didn’t want to be alone in my apartment after it had been filled with laughter and fun all day. He stared at me for a moment, a look of surprise on his face, and I felt embarrassment flowing through me, knowing that he was going to say no.
“I was just wondering…” I said, my voice trailing off as I looked at the floor.
“Yes,” he said quickly, the word coming out forcefully. “I mean—I’d like to have dinner. What about you, Luna?”
“I’m hungry,” the little girl said. “I haven’t eaten all day.”
Lucas raised his eyebrows and my mouth fell open.
“I swear I fed her,” I insisted. He laughed.
“By ‘all day’ she probably means an hour,” he said. I gestured for him to come in and he did, letting go of Luna’s hand as she ran back into my apartment. I went into my kitchen, desperately hoping that I had something to cook. If I didn’t, I knew I would just look like an idiot. Thankfully, I had everything I needed for a simple meal and started to pull out the ingredients as Lucas approached me at the counter. He stood close, the warmth from his body radiating off him.
“Need any help?” he asked, his eyes on my face. I looked up at him, meeting his gaze. There was an invitation there that made me shiver and I took a step away from him.
“No,” I said, suddenly feeling shy. I glanced at him, saw an amused smile on his face as I worked. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for today,” he said. I liked the way his voice sounded, deep and soft. “I owe you one.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.
“Got any idea how I can repay you?” he asked.
I met his eye, blushing, and chewed on my lip. “Not yet,” I said.
“I have a few, if you’re interested.”
“I—”
“Daddy!” called Luna from my bedroom, where I’d set up a fort for her using pillows and blankets. “Come here!”
I exchanged a glance with him, taking in his sly smile as he left to go to his daughter. I put the pasta into the boiling water and took a deep breath. I needed to get my shit together and stop swooning over nothing. Maybe the man was flirting with me, but having seen the woman he was with before, there was no way he was actually interested. I was nothing like her, a total mouse in comparison.
I went to find them when dinner was finished, peeking into the bedroom, where Lucas was sitting cross-legged and almost completely hunched over in the small fort. Luna sat next to him, her head on his lap while she babbled about her day with me. He stroked her hair, smiling down at her, and when I walked into the room he looked up and met my eye.
“Dinner’s ready,” I said to him. He stood, lifting Luna with him, and we all went into the dining room where I’d already set the table and had the food waiting.
“Can I sit next to Ellie?” Luna asked, looking up at her father with adoring eyes.
“Yes, you can sit next to Ellie. But don’t make a mess.”
“I won’t make a mess,” Luna said indignantly. I laughed as she came over to sit next to me, climbing into the chair and sitting at the table.
“Looks like you have a new friend.”
“Looks like it,” I said, glancing over at Luna. She was eating her spaghetti neatly, quietly humming to herself in her own little world.
“How was your commercial today?” I asked him.
“It went fine,” he said. “It really wasn’t a big deal. A couple of lines.”
“I’ll look for you on TV,” I told him. He smiled at me.
“How often are you watching TV between the hours of two and three a.m.?”
“That’s when it airs?”
He nodded, chuckling. “Impressive, no?”
“Still impressive,” I said. “I’ve never met anyone who’s been on TV before.”
“I’ve never met a real author before,” he said.
“And what do you think?”
“I think I’m lucky to have found one,” he told me, gazing into my eyes. I felt the heat grow between us as it had when we were in the kitchen and cleared my throat, taking a sip of water.
“Is Luna’s mother also an actress?” I asked him before I had a chance to stop myself. I hoped I didn’t sound nosy. “She looked like one.”
A look of confusion passed over his features. “Who?”
“The woman I met when you moved in. Alice.”
“Oh,” he said. “Alice isn’t—she’s my best friend. She’s got a girlfriend.”
“Oh, okay,” I said. “She’s beautiful.”
“She is,” he agreed, studying my face. I wondered if he saw the relief there, the feeling that I was trying to fight off. It didn’t matter whether he was seeing the woman I’d met in the hallway—he was just my neighbor.
I noticed that he didn’t elaborate on Luna’s mother and I didn’t press him any further on the subject. He was holding back, I could tell by the way he looked at me that there was more to say, but he was hesitant to open up just like I was. I felt Luna’s head resting on my arm then and looked down to see that the little girl had fallen asleep, her doll-like face peaceful and content. We had finished eating, and Lucas got up and crossed the table to her, lifting her up into his arms. Her eyelashes fluttered open for an instant and when she saw her father’s face, she smiled and went back to sleep.
“Thank you for everything,” he whispered. “I mean it.”
“You’re welcome,” I told him. “Feel free to come over anytime.”
His eyes sparkled and a playful look passed over his face. “I’ll do that, Ellie. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” I told him and watched as he went to his door and opened it quietly, glancing at me one more time before shutting it behind him.
I put my back to the door and closed my eyes, my lips curving into a smile when I replayed the dinner with Lucas in my head. I couldn’t help but be attracted to him when he looked at me the way he had over the table, with heat, interest, and curiosity in his eyes. Even as I went to bed he was on my mind, and I allowed myself to wonder briefly if this could be anything like the romances I wrote in my novels. The idea was a silly one, and I batted it away as I fell asleep. I knew better than anyone that romance novels weren’t real, no matter how perfect Lucas seemed to be.
I worked through the next day, trying to keep my mind occupied and away from the man who lived across from me. I was going to have dinner with my friend Heather who was in town for the night and knew I was going to immediately unload on her. I knew she would know just the right thing to say; Heather and I had known each other since high school, and sometimes she knew me better than I knew myself.
I met Heather at one of our favorite restaurants, a Chinese place that was within walking distance of my apartment. She was already there when I showed up, and she beamed when she saw me.
“Hi, honey,” she said, standing up and wrapping her arms around me in one of her characteristic bear hugs. For a small girl, Heather was strong, and she always put all her strength into her displays of affection. I hugged her
back and took the seat across from her, putting my purse into the booth beside me and scooting in.
“So, what’s up?” she asked. “I can already tell by your face that there’s something you’re desperate to talk about.”
“How do you even know that?”
“You look like you swallowed something and you’re about to throw it up,” she said.
“Wow, thanks, Heather.”
She laughed. “No, it’s cute. So, what’s up?”
“I have a new neighbor,” I said to her.
“And?”
“And he’s seriously the hottest man I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Ooh,” she said, leaning forward on the table. “Tell me about him.”
“He looks like a movie star. Dark hair and blue eyes, perfect body.”
“Have you—did you sleep with him?” she asked, her eyes widening.
I felt myself flush just thinking about it. “No, I can just tell,” I said to her.
“You’ve been staring,” she said, grinning at me.
“I can’t help it.”
“So what’s his story?” she asked as we ate.
“He’s an actor and has a four-year-old daughter. He just moved in. I met his best friend too.”
“What about the mom?”
“I don’t know what’s going on with her mom,” I said. “I was afraid to ask. He came over yesterday and begged me to babysit Luna.”
“You? Babysitting?”
“It was fun,” I insisted. “She’s so sweet.”
“Sweet enough to be your daughter?” Heather asked.
I shook my head. “I just met him. And I’m not interested in dating anyone. You know that.”
“You broke up with Paul ages ago,” Heather said. “It’s time to move on, honey.”
“I can’t,” I said, glancing away from her. “He really destroyed me, Heather.”
She put her hand out, taking mine and squeezing it. “I know. I told you I’d kick his ass, didn’t I?”
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