by Niecey Roy
“Too soon,” she whispered, feeling as if something were squeezing her chest. Last week when she’d told Leah that she wasn’t ready to speak with Craig, Leah had told her it was stupid to keep ignoring him, that it wasn’t healthy for her to miss him so much and do nothing about it. Rach should have known she’d do something like this, hopeless romantic that Leah was.
The room was cast in shadows with only the flickering light of candles on the bedside tables to send a soft glow throughout the room. She looked in every corner, expecting to catch Craig sitting in one of them, but he wasn’t there. And she was disappointed.
She jumped to her feet and stalked to his master bath and threw the door open, but he wasn’t there either. She checked his walk-in closet, but it was empty. How could they have planned this thinking she’d be okay with it? How could they have ambushed her? She felt...
She didn’t know what emotions warred inside of her. Love, anger, pain, loneliness—her uncertainty threatened to tear her apart. Standing in the middle of his bedroom, she crossed her arms and stared out the window, unsure of what to do. Did she have time to sneak out? She started for the door across the bedroom, but it opened before she got to it and in walked Craig. His eyes widened when he caught sight of her and he blinked as if to make certain her image wouldn’t vanish.
“What are you doing here?” He glanced at the bed strewn with roses and her heart leapt at the hopeful expression that crossed his face.
She eyed him suspiciously. “You mean you didn’t plan this?”
“No, I wouldn’t do this.” He looked horrified.
She smirked and started for the door again, looking forward to pushing him out of her way. Maybe she could trip him—wouldn’t that make her feel better?
“Of course you wouldn’t,” she said with an eye roll. “Such romance is only possible in a gentleman, not a jackass.”
“Hey.” He snagged her by the arm and dragged her to a stop beside him. Rach stiffened under his touch. She jerked her elbow free and he blinked at her response. “I resent that—I’m plenty romantic.”
She sniffed and waved her hand in a dismissive gesture while her heart pounded wildly in her chest. She stuffed her shaking hands in the pockets of her slacks. “Really hard to believe. But that’s wonderful. Good for you if you are. I’m out of here.”
“Wait, how’d you get here?”
She looked down at his fingers as they touched her cardigan to stop her again. His fingers seemed to burn through the soft cotton and she trembled. She tugged her arm loose and glared at him. “I have an idiot friend who thought she’d surprise me.”
Rach shoved the bandana at him and went for the door again, but he stepped in her way, the bandana in one hand, her sleeve in the other. “Wait, how will you go anywhere, there wasn’t a vehicle in the driveway.”
Rach squeezed her eyes shut and swore softly under her breath. Next time she saw Leah, Rach was going to do something horribly embarrassing to her. She just needed to think of something suitable in comparison. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she opened her eyes to gaze at Craig, the object of her many sleepless, tear-filled nights.
In the weeks since she’d seen him last, he’d grown his hair out. It curled at the nape of his neck, falling over his ears in tufts. It looked good on him. His bright blue eyes stared intently back at her, sending shivers across her body. He wasn’t wearing a suit, which wasn’t normal for him for the middle of the week. Had he taken the day off? It was so out of character for him, she longed to comment on it. In the beginning of their relationship she would have teased him about it, asked him if he’d learned the art of relaxing, something just to get under his skin. She longed for those days—the teasing, the bantering, the flirting. Making love.
She searched his eyes, knowing the hope she’d seen on his face earlier hadn’t been a figment of her imagination. In his eyes was an apology, but she crossed her arms in front of her, putting up a barrier and wished she hadn’t been forced to face him like this, without a choice. She wasn’t ready.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he began and she was surprised by the tremor in his voice. She’d seen him angry before, but this? When had Craig Larsen become so uncertain about anything? If he wasn’t the reason for her pain—for this—she might have reached out to console him. Instead, she stood before him, her back stiff with anger.
She’d had a lot of time to think about him and where they’d been going before—well, before he’d ruined it. There’d been something there, she was sure of it. And her heart hurt because she really had wanted something more, something great. A future. She swallowed back the lump in her throat and lifted her chin a little in defiance.
“I really didn’t have a choice,” she said grudgingly. She wasn’t proud of the pain in his eyes, but it wasn’t her fault. What happened hadn’t been any of her doing. She hadn’t wanted this, could have managed her days easier without a broken heart.
He looked away, down at their feet. “I realize that. I just—I was hoping we could, you know, get together sometime and talk.”
Rach wasn’t a bitter old hag, she wished she could be easier on him, but something wouldn’t let her. Her heart had suffered so much, the pain so unbearable in those first days without him, and now, those emotions washed over her. Standing here now in this room to “talk” made her breath shorten and claustrophobia threatened to set in. It was all too much, the wound breaking open and pulsing inside her chest as if it were yesterday she’d walked in on him and Maggie. Just breathe. Don’t cry, damn it!
She turned her back on him, but paused with her hand hovering just above the door handle. Her heart screamed for her to turn around even when her mind told her to leave. After a moment of hesitation, she dropped her hand and spun to face him. His eyes were on the floor, his large shoulders slumped in defeat and her resolve crumbled.
“I, um, I’ve been really busy,” Rach offered and crossed her arms to keep herself from touching him. “I was going to call you back after things settled down at work.”
Her excuse was pathetic, they both knew it, but what else was there to say? You stomped on my heart? Rach knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her, and that was what made staying mad so difficult. But the pain was still there—seeing him made that clear. Would it ever go away? She didn’t want to wake another morning wondering if he still cared or not. When he looked up at her with watery eyes, Rach had her answer and she blinked back her own tears.
He smiled softly. “Yes, congratulations. Leah told me you’re with HHS again. I’m really proud of you for going back. It must have been hard, but Leah said you’re really happy there. How is it? Good, I hope?”
“Yes, quite well.”
The curt reply erased his smile. She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but she was torn between wanting to smack him and wanting to throw herself at him.
“Look, I know what happened was bad. I was a stupid jerk and I realize that. But Jesus, Rach, don’t you think you could have given me a chance to explain before running off?”
Clenching her fists against her sides, she glowered at him. “You think I owed it to you? Really? How the hell do you justify that? She had her hand in your pants and from what I could see you liked it,” she snapped. She turned and grasped the door handle. “Forget it, it doesn’t even matter.”
She opened the door, but he put his hand on it over her head and slammed it shut. “It does matter.”
“Get the hell out of my way!” She spun around to face him and ended up with her nose against his chest, so she shoved him back to look up into his eyes.
“No,” he yelled back, returning her glare. “I won’t. I know what it looked like and I’m sorry for it. But she meant nothing to me, never has, never will. But you do mean something to me. You walked away, didn’t care to even fight for what we had, and you haven’t thought about me since. Leah had to trick you to get you here, so what the hell does that say about you! At least I tried to see you, at least I wanted to try.”
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nbsp; Rach backed up against the door, as if to escape the guilt the accusations caused, but she couldn’t back away from his stare or the raw emotion etched across his face.
“How dare you say that,” she whispered. She looked down at her shoes, away from the intense blue eyes that sparkled with emotion, and prayed she wouldn’t cry. Not now. She took a breath and swallowed the lump in her throat. “You have no idea what went through my head, or how I felt.”
“No, Rach, I don’t, because you won’t talk to me. You won’t answer your phone, you won’t return my messages, you just don’t care. I know nothing because you won’t tell me.” He reached out tentatively and touched a finger to her hand and she flinched at the warmth of his fingertips on her skin. “I miss you, Rach. I just...I want you to know how much I care about you. Ever since I met you, my whole life is different. I’m different. You changed me...for the better, I’m told.” He gave a short chuckle. “My secretary doesn’t have to worry about me starving in my office any more. I know what’s important now—you are. You’re the most important thing I’ve ever had. I wish...things could have been different, you know? I wish you could see how different I am. Please, give me another chance—I’m so sorry for everything.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed she wouldn’t cry. Swallowing the tears was almost impossible, but she managed it. Barely. “I can’t, I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Okay.” The softly spoken acquiescence made her open her eyes. He had backed away, the fight gone from him. “If that’s what you want, Rach, then leave. I’m not sure this hole in my heart will ever be filled, not without you in my life. But I understand. I’ll miss you.”
He was giving up. Rach’s heart fell and she flinched. Hadn’t that been what she wanted, for him to let her go? It’s just as well. He stared back at her, and there was no familiar challenge in his eyes, daring her to say something, to argue with him. This wasn’t the Craig she knew, wasn’t the Craig she loved. Somehow, she’d gotten him to break and she didn’t like it. His eyes threatened tears and Rach’s heart climbed into her throat. Instead of walking away, she stood there, gazing into his shimmering eyes and missed the way they’d been together. No matter what had happened, she still loved him. The pain in his face told her that he loved her, too, even if he hadn’t ever said the words out loud. She didn’t want to lose him, not again, and she threw herself at him, crushing her mouth against his.
His surprise only lasted a second before his hands came alive to grip her tight against him. His lips ravaged hers hungrily, as if in the time they’d been apart he’d longed for her every day and now wanted to remember the feel of her all over again.
At first she kissed him in a frenzy of emotions—elation, relief, and so much love she feared her heart might explode—nipping at his lips, holding him tight at the nape of the neck, afraid to let go. And then it hit her; she didn’t have to leave. She could choose to stay and feel him forever, smell his cologne, love him completely. And that is what she did.
Rach slowed her kisses and he matched her tempo. His tongue slipped inside her mouth, gliding against hers in a silky wetness that weakened her knees. His hands were on her back, then on her butt, until he lifted her in his arms and carried her to his bed. The scent of roses and his cologne tickled her nose and she pulled him down, needing to feel him against her, savoring the taste of him.
She opened her eyes and met his, the candlelight flickering across his face. The skin under her fingertips was prickly with day-old stubble and she marveled at how much she’d missed even the feel of his beard. She’d dreamed of this so often in the time they’d been apart and now she wanted to soak it up, commit this moment to her memory forever.
He leaned down to kiss her softly on the mouth. He feathered kisses up to the tip of her nose, up along the bridge of it. He brushed kisses over her closed lashes and across both cheekbones. The tenderness stole her breath away. His lips found her ear and nuzzled it with his nose, then flicked his tongue inside. His mouth was on her earlobe, his breath warm against her skin before moving to her neck again.
They undressed each other slowly, exploring each other’s bodies as if they’d never been so intimate before. She lost herself in his touch, in the feel of his mouth on her inner thigh. Rach kept her eyes closed, afraid if she opened them this would all be a dream, even though the sensations coursing through her body as he brought her to climax were nothing but real. Afterward, he held her to him, brushing her hair back so he could drop a kiss to her forehead.
“I missed you, Red.”
“I missed you, too,” she admitted as their hearts crashed together, the thin top sheet wrapping them in a silky cocoon. She pulled away a little so she could reach up and brush a fingertip across his lips and this time she didn’t fight back the tears welling up in her eyes. “I never want to miss you like that again.”
He kissed her wet cheeks and then her eyelids. “Never again. I love you, Rach.”
She would never have imagined four words could affect her so much, could slam through her and cause her ears to ring. She never thought a declaration of that magnitude would shatter any doubts in her mind, break away any barriers she’d had around her heart. Joy bubbled up from deep within, cascading out of her in waves and she smiled softly before opening her eyes to stare up into his cornflower blue orbs.
“I love you, too.” The words came easy, because she meant them, and had for a long time.
“Good,” he replied firmly, a smile broadening on his lips, “because it would suck to get married to someone who didn’t love me back.”
Her eyes widened in surprise and she stammered, “Huh, wha - what do you mean?”
“What I mean is I can’t imagine another day without you in my life.” He lifted up from the bed and leaned his weight down on his elbow, looking down into her eyes so intensely that she swallowed. “I won’t go another day without you in my life. What I’m saying is that being without you hurts more than getting hit by a 350 pound football player. Hurts way more than a sexy redhead totaling my Camaro. What this means is we have to get married so you can never leave me again. “
She gazed deep into his eyes, wondering what had inspired such outrageous words to fall from his lips. There was no doubt in her mind now that she needed him in her life. Just as much as he didn’t want to live without her, she could never imagine going through the rest of her days without waking up next to him.
Rach grinned up at him and touched the side of his face with her fingertips, pulling him in for a soft kiss. When they broke away, she said, “I suppose that makes sense. Just don’t piss me off again or I’ll kick your ass.”
His laughter rumbled, filling the room, and he pulled her on top of him. He leaned his head up to nuzzle her nose. “I’d never dream of it. You’re mine now, Red. Forever.”
She snuggled into his chest, wrapping her body around his. She pressed her cheek against his beating heart and smiled. “I’ll marry you on one condition.”
“Oh?” His voice sounded amused and he hugged her tighter to him.
“That you let me drive that sexy Corvette of yours.”
He coughed and she lifted her head from his chest to smile at the grimace on his face. “I, um, guess I could let you drive it. Once. In a deserted parking lot.”
She dropped her head back to his chest. “Well, that’s a good start.”
Hours later, tucked under the blankets with Craig sleeping soundly at her side, Rach thought, This is a perfect beginning to the rest of my life. Maybe there is such a thing as fate, after all.
A word about the author...
Once upon a time, there was a young girl who wrote sappy poetry about every relationship gone wrong. She had her heart broken many times before the man of her dreams stepped off a big Navy ship and swept her off her feet, promising to never hold her shoe obsession against her.
From that day forward, she swore she’d never again write sappy poetry of unrequited love. Instead, a
sucker for smooches and happily-ever-afters, Niecey Roy now writes contemporary romance inspired by her sailor’s sexy brown eyes and charming sense of humor.
Visit Niecey at www.nieceyroy.com
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