The plane landed and Miguel knew he only had a few minutes before he was going to be called away for a debriefing. He got up and knocked on the bedroom door.
“Alex, please open the door. I promise, I won’t touch you, I just want to talk to you for a minute before they come for us.”
Alex didn’t really want to talk to Miguel but she needed to say goodbye, so she opened the door. “I don’t want to talk to you. I only opened the door to give you this and to say…goodbye.” Alex handed Miguel his ring and then she closed the door again.
TWO WEEKS HAD PASSED. Miguel went to work, yelled at everyone and then went back home. When he got back home today, Miles and Eden were waiting for him.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Miguel, please. I can’t stand seeing you like this.” Eden grabbed Miguel and hugged him.
“Eden, just leave me alone.” Miguel pulled away.
Miles stood up. “Migs…”
“I said I want to be alone.”
“I heard what you said. Guess what, I don’t give a fuck what you want. I’m staying.” Miles grabbed Miguel and hugged him.
Miguel began to fall apart. Tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I miss her; I miss her so much.”
Miles walked Miguel over to the couch and sat down with him. Eden sat down on the other side and grabbed Miguel’s hand. “We love you and we’re going to help you get through this.”
“I’ve never felt this way. I just want to die.”
Miles looked at his friend who was a blundering mess and he felt so bad for him. “Do you remember when I lost that woman I was in love with?”
Miguel shook his head. Eden looked up at Miles as he spoke.
“Well, I wanted to die too. It’s what happens when we love someone so deeply and then they’re gone from our lives. They take a piece of our heart with them. But Migs, as hard as it is and as much as it seems that we can’t go on, we have to and we somehow find a way.”
“How about I grab us some beers and order a pizza? Then we can have a sleepover like when I was a kid and you two would try to cheer me up.”
“I appreciate you two trying to help but I’m just not in the mood for company.”
“That’s great because we aren’t inviting any company over, it’s just us, your family.” Eden kissed Miguel on the cheek and then got up. “I will be right back with the beer, decide if you want pepperoni or meatball?”
“She’s so stubborn.”
“Yeah, she takes after her brother.”
Alex had been hiding out at Faith’s house. She couldn’t handle staying with Ryan; she knew he would constantly go on about how much he wanted to beat the crap out of Miguel for breaking her heart. However, she never expected Faith to want to choke the shit out of him.
“Let’s go out for dinner.”
“I’ll pass.”
“Alex, it’s been two weeks since you left the house. You can’t hide here forever. Well you can stay here forever, but you need to come and go on a daily basis. This is not healthy and it isn’t helping you to move on with your life.”
“I don’t think I can move on.”
Faith moved over to the other couch where Alex was sitting. “I know you miss him. Are you sure there isn’t any chance of…”
“No.”
“I wish you would tell me what happened.”
Alex wanted to tell Faith what happened but she knew she couldn’t. She was contacted the day that they arrived back, by the Agency that Miguel worked for, and told that she wasn’t at liberty to discuss anything to do with the events leading up to the rescue of Jakey or the demise of Milton and Eric.
“I can’t. All I can say is that Miguel wasn’t who he seemed to be.”
“Seemed to be? He seemed to love you more than life itself. Did that change?”
“No, I believe that he would have given up his life for me. I know he loved me.”
“Then what could be so terrible that you can’t forgive him?”
“He lied to me.”
“Alex, we all lie from time to time. Did he lie to hurt you or to protect you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“So he lied to protect you and you can’t forgive him?”
“What I can’t forgive is what he did that he needed to protect me from.”
“Ok, can you answer another question?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“No. So tell me why you haven’t returned Miles’ and Dane’s phone calls? Are they on your Shit List because they are Miguel’s friends?”
“They are a part of this.”
“This, this, this! I’m so tired of not knowing what the hell happened. You’re heartbroken, Miguel is heartbroken and I can’t seem to understand why the hell you aren’t together.”
“How do know he’s heartbroken?”
“Well let me see…Eden has told Ryan and Ryan told me. Miles has also told me. Oh, and let’s not forget Dane. Miguel has been going to work and then straight home again. He won’t talk to anyone, he isn’t eating and he missed his last public appearance.”
“Good, I hope he’s fucking miserable…” Alex couldn’t finish her sentence before she started crying.
Faith hugged her. “Oh, Sweetie. Maybe you could just meet and talk. Even if you can’t work things out maybe it will give you some closure and then you can move on?”
“Maybe you’re right. As much as I don’t want to see him, I can’t go on like this.”
Faith handed Alex the phone before she changed her mind. “Call him.”
Alex dialed Miguel’s number and then she hung up and put the phone down. “I can’t.”
“You can.” Faith handed her back the phone.
Alex exhaled and then hit redial.
“Alex.”
“Yes.”
“I’ve missed…”
“Would you be willing to meet me…to talk?”
“Of course. Anytime, anywhere. I’ll be there.”
“I’m at Faith’s.”
“I’ll come right over.”
“Ok.”
“I still love you.”
Alex hung up without responding.
Miguel was at Faith’s before Alex even had time to dry her hair. Faith told her she stunk and needed to go shower. It had been a few days, so Alex got up and showered.
Faith opened the door for Miguel.
“Hi.”
“Alex called me.”
Faith’s heart broke. Miguel looked awful. He looked tired and his eyes were bloodshot. He also looked as if he had lost a few pounds.
“She’s getting dressed. Come in.”
Miguel walked in and just stood there. He didn’t speak.
“You can have a seat. I’m going to go out for a bit.”
“Ok.” Miguel replied but he never moved. He stood there like a pillar.
Faith left and about two minutes later the door at the end of the hall opened and Alex came walking down the hall. Miguel and Alex’s eyes met and they just stared at one another, not like the first time. This time they saw the sadness in each other’s eyes and then they looked away.
“Alex.”
Alex looked around. “Where’s Faith?”
“She went out.”
Alex stepped back. It hurt Miguel to know that she was frightened by him.
“I would never hurt you, Alex.”
“No? Then why do I feel like you put a knife through my heart?”
“I feel the same way.”
“Who’s fault is that? Not mine!”
“I know.”
Miguel reached out his hand and touched Alex’s arm. Alex pulled away. “Don’t touch me.”
“Alex, I swear, I would never hurt you. That wasn’t me that you saw doing those things.”
“Wasn’t you?”
“I mean, it wasn’t the real me, the one you know, the one you fell in love with, who fell in love with you.”
“Maybe not…but it was still you! I
saw you kill people with the same hands that touched my body when you made love to me. How could you?”
“I was a Marine, when my tour was up I was approached by the Agency. They said that they had observed me and that they wanted me to work for them as an independent contractor. I said yes because it paid well, not because I wanted to run around killing people and risk my life. I needed the money to put Eden through school. I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of but I did what I had to do to serve my country and get our men and women home.”
“You sent Eden to school with blood money. Your business was built…”
“My business was built with my blood and sweat. I didn’t use that money for my business. I used it for Eden’s education and donated the rest to youth charities.”
“It doesn’t really matter where the money ended up. Truth of the matter is that you killed people for it and I don’t think I can ever get past that.”
Miguel looked down at the floor. All hope was now lost. He looked up at Alex, one last time. “Goodbye, Alex. Take care of yourself.” Then he walked out the door.
DANE HAD SPOKEN TO Faith about Miguel and Alex. He hated seeing the two of them miserable. Faith suggested that he come over and visit and that maybe he could talk to Alex. Faith arranged to be conveniently stuck at work late so that Alex would be there alone with Dane.
Alex heard the doorbell but she didn’t want to talk to anyone so she didn’t budge from her bed at first but then the bell rang again and again. She finally got up and answered the door. Which after seeing that it was Dane, she regretted not looking through the peep hole before opening it.
“Alex, hi.”
“Faith, isn’t home.” Alex tried to shut the door.
Dane forced his foot in the door so that Alex couldn’t shut it on him. “I know, we have a date but she is running late and asked me to wait for her here.”
“Fine.” Alex turned and began to walk away.
“I miss seeing you at the house.”
“I don’t want to talk to you, Dane. Don’t you get it. What you did, what you all do, makes me sick.”
“Let me ask you something, Alex, what would have happened if I didn’t kill Eric? You’d probably be dead. Miguel would be dead, ehh, maybe we would all be dead?” Dane walked over to Alex and placed his hand on her back.
Alex pulled away from Dane. “You can talk until you are blue in the face, it won’t change how I feel or what I saw.” Alex grabbed her purse and walked out the door, slamming it behind her.
Dane shook his head. He wanted to take Alex and shake some sense into her.
Miles talked Miguel into going out for a drink on the way home from work. They sat at the bar for ten minutes and Miguel wanted to go home.
“I need to get out of here.”
“Migs, finish your drink, then we will talk.”
“Fuck off, you don’t give me orders!” Miguel got up and Miles grabbed him by the shoulder. Miguel turned around and punched Miles in the jaw.
Miles stepped back. He thought about swinging at Miguel but it wouldn’t have done any good and he would have ended up with a sore jaw and hand. He sat back down at the bar and finished his drink, then he ordered another one.
Miguel stood there watching Miles as he sat back down and drank his drink like nothing ever happened. “Now you’re not going to talk to me either?”
Miles smiled, he waited a good minute before he answered. “Oh, are we still friends?”
“Miles, don’t be a jerk. You’re my best friend.”
“Correct and that is why I allowed you to use me as a punching bag. Now sit down and finish your drink.”
Miguel sat down and chugged his drink. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. I’m worried about you, Migs.”
“It just hurts so bad.”
“I know. Trust me, I know.”
Alex didn’t even knock, she just barged into Ryan’s office. She stumbled upon Ryan having sex with Eden.
“FUCK, RYAN!”
“SHIT, ALEX!”
Ryan jumped up so fast he almost threw Eden on the floor. Eden grabbed her clothes and started getting dressed, leaving Ryan standing there with his huge cock pointing right at his sister.
“Do something with that!” Alex pointed at his cock before she looked away.
“Alex, you come flying into my office, interrupt ME while I’m having sex and then you are going to stand there and yell about my cock, that feels quite lonely I might add, thanks to you and is ready to explode?”
Alex burst into tears. Eden was dressed by now. She walked over to Alex and hugged her. Ryan painfully tucked himself back into his pants and then walked over to Alex and Eden.
“I’m sorry, Sis.”
“I’m sorry. I just…”
“Ryan, do you think that we could have a few minutes alone?”
“Yeah sure, I’ll go find some ice to put in my pants.”
Eden rolled her eyes. “He is so dramatic. Come sit, Alex.”
“You must hate me.”
“Don’t be silly, Alex, I can have sex with Ryan anytime, he is always willing and very able.”
“I meant because of what happened with Miguel.”
Eden brushed Alex’s hair away from her face and then handed her some tissues. “I understand why you feel the way you do. I was kind of freaked out myself when I first found out.”
Alex looked up at Eden in surprise. “He told you?”
“Not exactly. You see when I was about fifteen I hid under Miguel’s desk. I was sick and tired of him always having meetings and being in there with his door locked, well…I was nosey too. Anyway, I heard everything they said. I was so afraid. Our parents used to abuse us. I started to think that maybe Miguel was turning out like them. I started avoiding him and locking my door all the time. Miguel finally waited inside my room one day and when I locked the door, he was inside with me.”
“Oh my God. He didn’t hurt you did he?”
“No, we talked and he explained things so that I would understand. He promised he wasn’t going to ever be anything like our parents and thinking back, I was stupid to even think it could be possible.”
“But he kills people for money.”
“No, he does what he has to, to save innocent people.”
“I saw him kill people, I watched them die. He just moved on to the next one. I can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me sick. How could I have been so wrong about him?”
“What were you wrong about?”
“I thought he was a good man. One I could trust, who loved me.”
“He is a good man, who you can trust and he loves you more than life itself, Alex.”
“He lied to me. Even if I could live with knowing…what he does, how can I ever trust him again?”
“If you love him enough, you’ll find a way.”
“Knock, knock…can I come in?” Ryan laughed as he opened the door.
Eden looked at Ryan and shook her head, then she turned to Alex. “Your brother thinks he’s funny.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“Hey, I love you too, Sis!”
Alex got up and hugged her brother. “I love you, Ryan.”
“Do you want to stay and have dinner with us? I was going to order in.”
“I’m going to head home now, well to Faith’s. You two can pick up where you left off.” Alex smiled.
Alex stopped off at the bar. She wanted to drown her sorrows in a frozen margarita. She sat down, ordered her drink and took out her phone to text Faith and let her know she was alright.
“Hey, Alex.”
Alex knew it was Miles before she looked up. She thought about not even looking but her head moved faster than her thoughts.
“Hi.”
“I guess you’re angry at all of us?”
“At least you and Dane didn’t lie to me.”
“Migs would have told you if he was allowed.”
“It doesn’t matter now, it’s too late.”
“Alex…”
Alex turned around when Miles stopped talking. Miguel was standing behind her. He looked away from her immediately.
“I’ll be outside.” Miguel walked out.
“You better go.”
“Alex, none of us meant to hurt you, especially not Miguel. He loves you.”
“I know that wasn’t your intention, but it doesn’t hurt any less.”
“If you ever need anything…”
“I won’t.”
“Good night, Alex.”
“Goodbye, Miles.”
MIGUEL COULDN’T SLEEP. HE wandered the house. Finally, he went downstairs to his office. Now was as good a time as any to call the Agency and resign. Then he would schedule some business trips out of town so that he wouldn’t be around to run into Alex.
He sat down at his desk and opened the drawer and found Alex’s engagement ring. He opened the chain he had around his neck and slipped the ring on the chain and then placed it back around his neck.
Miguel powered up his laptop and then grabbed his phone and dialed.
“I need to speak to Simmons, this is Blade, code 420.”
“Simmons.”
“Sir, I’m calling to let you know that I will no longer be available for…”
“What do you mean available, Blade? You’re not quitting on us, are you?”
“I’m burnt out. I’m done. I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Blade, what is this really about? Does this have anything to do with that woman?”
“That woman hates me now; she can’t even stand the sight of me. She refers to me as a killer.”
“You don’t see yourself that way do you?”
“No, Sir. I don’t.”
“Then, why are you trying to talk me into allowing you to resign?”
“It’s time. I’ve been doing this for well over a decade now, like I said it’s time for me to retire.”
“You’re young and damn it, Blade…you’re one of the best I have.”
“Someone else will have to be the best.”
“Blade, you’re not thinking about checking out on me, are you? Because I know a lot of you can’t handle it. I never thought you were one of them though.”
“No, Sir. I might be struggling a bit here but I promise you I’m not planning to off myself.”
Love & Lies Page 17