“I have my ways,” he said, leaving my side to walk in front of me. His hands ran down and back up my arms, rubbing along the goose bumps. Taking my hands back in his, he lifted my knuckles to his lips, kissing each one. “You are beautiful, Braelynn,” he professed. My skin burned as I blushed.
Peyton leaned down until his lips met mine. He pulled away and dropped down on one knee, his hand still holding mine. My heart stopped. The flickering flames of the candles moved in slow motion as I realized what he was doing.
“Peyton—”
“Shhh.” He released my left hand to reach into his pants pocket. “Braelynn Scott Wolf, I never knew what love was until I found you. A long time ago I asked you for a fresh start, and since then my life—our life—has changed so much. But through the good, the bad, and the horrifyingly ugly, we’ve made it. I love you, Braelynn, and I promise to love you always. To protect you, cherish you and make you as happy as I possibly can. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
My eyes pooled with tears. My mouth hung open, speechless as I took in the room. He had planned this. The man I loved, my addiction, my sanity, was asking me to marry him. I gripped his hand tighter and dropped to me knees before him.
“No.” The lone word escaped my lips, and the unshed tears finally dropped down my cheek.
Taken aback, he looked at me with a puzzled expression. “No?”
“Not now.” I sniffled back the cascading tears that poured down my face. Tears that I didn’t understand. Deep down I was ecstatic that he was proposing, hurt that I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted, and tormented by the painful look on his face. “I love you Peyton, I do. But we have been through hell and back in the past year. We’ve never had a chance to be just us. We’ve never had an opportunity to get to know one another. I love you. God knows how much I can’t live without you, but I think marriage at this point in our relationship wouldn’t be a good idea. As much as it crushes me, I have to say no, not now.”
“Not now?” He closed the ring box and tucked it back in his pocket.
In an instant, my hands were wrapped around his neck and my lips pressed on his. “Not never, just not now,” I mumbled between our lips. “Please try to understand.”
His hands held my shoulders, pushing me away from him. His lips kissed the tip of my nose. “I can wait until you’re ready.”
His hands released my shoulders and tugged me by my waist towards him until our lips joined together. It wasn’t a No, it was a Not now.
And we both understood why.
The End…
For Now.
BOOK THREE
Peyton
She lay naked on the white linen sheet, her golden blonde hair fanned out over her pillow. She had been my all, the one to come into my life, cause havoc and claim my heart. She had been my everything. My greatest desire. The fuel that ran through my veins.
The sun beamed on her skin glistening on her flawless fair body. Almost flawless.
The marks from our recent times in the playroom still visible on her skin, her wrists that were tucked under her chin revealing a crimson burn from her pulling on the restraints. Her plump breast scarred from the lashes of the flogger, and her upper thighs holding the same marks as her breast.
I was terrified at the pain I had caused her, but horrified that I wanted to cause more.
Braelynn had repeated over and over that she loved the marks and the pleasures they gave her. Since she had rejected my proposal, I began to feel that she was slipping away. The grasp I had over her was fading and my need for her had been replaced with rage and want. I needed to punish her for saying no, whip her flesh when I felt her slipping out of my hands. Though I was sickened once we were done, massaging the welts kissing them with my love, I reveled in her moans and her screams made my blood boil.
She had turned me into the monster I now was. Possessive, demanding, and hungrier for her than I had ever been. Her arousal when I slid deep in her had me on the brink of losing myself. The way she came around me, choking my cock … it was indescribable. But when she bowed her head, her blonde hair covering her face as she submitted to me, that had my inner Dom crawling out of my body, wanting to take full reign over hers.
And I did.
For the past six weeks she’d spent every night with me, letting me have full possession of her weak body. But the nagging voice in my head kept saying that our time was limited.
“You’re doing it again,” she whispered, her voice filled with exhaustion. Her eyes remained closed when she spoke.
I leaned forward, kissing the tip of her nose. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied.
“Yes, you do. You’re thinking so loud I can hear it in my sleep.”
“Lynn—”
“Stop it.” Her eyes flashed open. I was so closed to her I could see the sea of green and brown specks. “You aren’t hurting me.”
“Look at the bruises on your skin.” I traced my hand over her soft breast.
“I have a safe word and I have yet to use it.” She pulled the cover over her flesh and turned on her side.
She hadn’t used it yet…
But would she?
I hope you enjoyed Coherent. I would love to hear from you. Please consider writing a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes and Noble, Kobo or iBooks. I do read all of my reviews and would love to see what you thought.
You can read about my upcoming books at www.liviajamerlan.com or you please feel free to join my Facebook group where you can discuss Consensual and Coherent as well as see teasers and excerpts of book three coming soon.
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Thank you for your support.
Livia Jamerlan
To my husband Tim. As always, you are my rock, the love of my life. I love you more each day. Thank you for letting me follow my dream.
My family, thank you for the guidance, love, and support.
To my made family this book is for you! Cinthia, Cynthia, Johanna, Melissa, Nikki, and Stacy, you are my biggest supporters. Thank you for everything.
Liv’s Love Bugs, thank you for believing in my books. Thank you for pimping me! I love you all!
Barbara, Celeste, Eleanor, Elisabeth, Faith, Niecey, and Ruthie, I would be who I am as an author if it wasn’t for you ladies. Each day it is something that we help each other with. I am very blessed to have you all in my life. You’re all like fairy godmothers helping me with, my personal life, writing life, mommy to be life, and so much more. Each one of you has touched my heart and I feel like we will always be sisters. I love you all.
To my betas. A BIG THANK YOU! You all took time away from your family, friends, and work to do me the biggest favor. I can’t thank you all enough.
To the bloggers. WOW. Honestly thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for been a part of my giveaways, my cover reveal, release day blitz, and blog tour, I would be nowhere if it weren’t for all your help. Your kindness and generosity is what keeps this community alive.
Sharon and Melissa with Sassy Savvy and Fabulous. Thank you for your help with Consensual and Coherent. I am truly blessed to have you both in my corner.
To my editors, Brenda Letendre, you pushed me with each comment you had to go further. The articles you sent me changed my writing. You are my guardian angel. I can’t wait to work with you again. Jennifer Roberts-Hall, you were the best content editor a girl could ask for. You became fully vested in my story, letting me bounce ideas of you, and expressing what you felt was missing in the book.
To my cover designer Sommer, with Perfect Pear Creative Covers, thank you for making the most beautiful cover I could have asked for. I sent you a simple picture and you made it into a beautiful cover. You knew exactly what I was looking for without me having to tell you.
My Indie Chicks that ROCK, I love our group, and our insane funny conversations. I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing writers.
FYW, to be a part of this group i
s an honor. You are all so talented and the advice you share helps me grow as an author.
To my formatter Christine, with Perfectly Publishable, your emails were all so helpful and your professionalism is impeccable.
Livia Jamerlan is the author of Divided and Consensual. She is also a hopeless romantic who is always looking for her next love story to pop in her head. Though Livia kept a journal throughout her early life, she never thought about pursuing a career in writing. She always used it as form of therapy, pouring her heart out into words. It wasn’t until a story developed in her head that she decided maybe she could write a book. At first it was just an escape from reality, but now she uses it as a power to put all her feelings, hopes, and fears on paper. Deciding it was time to tell her story, she began to write. With each passing day the story grew, characters were formed, and what seemed like a hobby at first has now become a passion for Livia. She is a New Jersey Native who loves spending time with her husband and two dogs Buddy and Daisy. When she is not writing or hiding behind her Kindle, you can find her with outside, gardening, at a local shopping center enjoying some retail therapy, or enjoy a pepperoni pizza.
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Coherent Page 27