“Well, we kinda made it visible,” Buzz said. “He saw us come here.”
Saturn’s expression became very still. “What?”
Buzz was going to reply, but a loud pounding at the door stopped him. The whole chamber was quaking. Hairline cracks crept across the surface of the door, and dust from the stone wall that encased the entranceway was raining down.
“He’s here,” Saturn said. “Loki is here.”
“But Janus will stop him from getting in, right?” Buzz asked.
“Janus will do their best, but I was a fool to believe that anyone could keep Loki out. How can you keep chaos out?” Saturn leaped from his throne, sweeping the contents of one of his worktables to the floor. Racing around the workshop, he placed three clocks on the table.
“The runes you seek can be found using these three clocks. Choose one to begin your quest.”
The pounding on the door was even fiercer now, and the sound of wood creaking and then cracking filled the chamber.
A voice that hissed and spat like a funeral pyre seeped under the door. “Saturn, is this any way to treat a friend? We have so much to catch up on. And you owe me, old man. You owe me.”
Saturn pointed to the first clock. “This is an astronomical clock and will open a portal to the cloud realm, where you will find my son Jupiter, god of the sky. He has the first two runes, which hold the powers of Sunna and Mani.” He pointed to the next device. “This is a water clock, which will open a portal to my son Neptune, god of the sea. He has the second two runes, which hold the powers of Tyr and Odin.” Saturn’s hand moved over to the last clock, which glinted with gold. “This is an ormolu clock. Many call it a death clock.” He touched the golden clock gently, his finger tracing the gilded edge. “It’s a thing of true beauty, but the men who made these clocks often died for their art because the gold-mercury veneer used to embellish the clock killed them with its toxicity. This clock will take you to my son Pluto, god of the underworld. He has the last two runes, which hold the power of Thor and Frigga.”
The door gave a splintering crash, and Saturn flinched. “I can’t promise that my sons will welcome you. But this is all I can do to help.”
Buzz stepped toward the astronomical clock, his eyes sweeping over the weight-driven device with its train of gears and etched star map. But Mary did not follow him. She was looking at the death clock, the gold reflected in her glasses.
“How do we access the portal for Jupiter’s realm?” Buzz asked.
Saturn stepped forward and, concentrating on the star map, pressed two of the shining nodes on the device. A pair of stars shot out of the clock and zipped around the room with a high-pitched ringing noise.
“You each need to catch one of the stars before its light goes out, and then ask it to take you to Jupiter,” Saturn said. “Your star will do the rest.”
Buzz nodded, his eyes tracking the stars. They were already slowing down a bit, their light fading gradually.
“Mary, come on!” he called as he climbed up onto one of the benches and watched the star drift toward him.
Mary pulled her gaze away from the death clock. Her expression was almost wistful.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t start with Pluto?” She said the words as if in some kind of daze.
“Too late for that now,” Saturn said. “You need to catch one of these stars before it winks out completely. If that happens, I won’t be able to call on more stars before Loki appears.” He looked at the door, which amazingly was still standing, but only just.
Buzz climbed from the bench onto the table and reached for a star. His fingers just grazed its warm brilliance.
“Come on, Mary,” Buzz said, reaching again.
Mary dragged herself from the death clock and leaped onto one of the tables as well.
“Good luck in your quest.” Saturn had tidied away the three clocks and was now heading toward the door. “Time is on your side.” He smiled. “I mean that.”
“Where are you going?” Buzz asked as his fingers closed around a star.
“To let Loki in. Janus should not have to pay for my cowardice, and I’m not sure the door will stand much longer. I’ll do my best to throw Loki off the scent.”
The star was now in Buzz’s grip, and it vibrated in his palm, making his hand tingle. Looking over at Mary, he saw that she had a star in her grasp also. She nodded at him.
“Take us to Jupiter,” they said as one.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Star Travel
As soon as the words were uttered, Buzz felt himself compress and his eardrums pop. He looked over at Mary and watched in amazement as she was sucked into the heart of her star before realizing that the same thing was happening to him. White light flooded over him, cocooning him, and he shot upward toward a small aperture that was carved into the high ceiling.
Just before the light got too bright, he gazed down and saw Saturn open the door. A figure of smoke and burning embers stood at the entrance, grinning with a flaming mouth.
Buzz and Mary flew through the hole in the ceiling, through a funnel-like opening, and then they were outside. Still they traveled up, until they could see the very edge of space. All that separated them from the inkiness of the universe was a swathe of cloud, and it was here that their stars stopped.
Buzz felt himself start to expand, but the star stayed the same size, and like a chick hatching from an egg, he burst out of it. He was standing on a rainbow path where row upon row of tall black units balanced on clouds, each one winking with blue lights. Large birds darted in between the units, flapping their huge wings and creating a cool breeze.
“What are those black things?” Buzz asked, turning to Mary, who had shaken off the remnants of her star. “And what are those birds doing?”
“They look like data storage towers,” Mary said. “You know, the kind of units that hold everyone’s uploaded photos and music.” She watched the flapping wings for a moment. “And I think those birds are trying to keep the units cool.”
The birds began to caw excitedly as one of the data storage units shifted from a cloud and onto the rainbow path. Then, on mechanical feet, it clunked over to them.
With a hiss, the top of the data storage unit opened, and the face of a man was beamed up into the sky. The man was tan, clean shaven, and wore an open-collared shirt, with expertly styled hair that was the right side of floppy.
“Welcome to the Cloud,” he said in a smooth, laid-back voice. “Where anything that can be stored is stored.”
“This is the cloud,” Mary said, gazing about in wonder. “As in the Cloud! Holey pajamas. I just thought it was a concept rather than a real location.” She reached out and touched one of the data towers. “We’re actually in the place where all our electronic memories, all our data, are kept.”
The face flashed perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth. “I am Jupiter. My dominion is the sky,” he said. “If mortals were going to start worshiping something called the Cloud, then you’d better believe that I wasn’t going to let an opportunity like that pass. All it required was a bit of retraining.” He glanced at the discarded stars on the ground. “What can I do for you? I can tell by your mode of transport that you’ve been sent by my father.”
“We’re looking for the Runes of Valhalla,” Buzz said. “Your father said that you have Sunna’s and Mani’s.”
“Ah, yes, the runes of the sun and the moon,” Jupiter said. “I have kept the runes safe for a very long time. Am I to assume that Loki is free?”
“He is, and the only way we’re going to stop him is by gathering up runes and returning them to their owners.”
A frown marred Jupiter’s perfectly smooth forehead. “It may not be quite as easy as that, I’m afraid.”
Buzz scrubbed a hand over his face. Was it ever easy? “Why? What’s the problem?”
“A virus, called EarthWorm.” Jupiter looked miserable. “Not only has it got the runes, it keeps on slithering through the Cloud and eating all
my data and files, too. If this continues, people are going to stop believing in the Cloud, and I’ll be out of a job again. A sad, old, forgotten god, just like the others.”
“But why does EarthWorm have the runes?” Buzz asked. “You said you’ve been keeping them safe.”
Jupiter looked embarrassed. “Do I have to say?”
“Well, since the runes are the only things that are going to stop Loki from destroying our realm and therefore all the people who worship you, I think so,” Mary replied.
“EarthWorm has the runes because it has me,” Jupiter muttered. “It swallowed me whole, and the runes were in my pocket.”
“Oh, that’s just great!” Mary threw up her hands in disbelief.
“But if you’ve been swallowed whole, how are we talking to you?” Buzz asked. “Are we talking to your hologram?”
Jupiter shook his head. “I backed myself up onto one of the servers, luckily. Thing is, EarthWorm keeps on coming and eating up more and more of my data. It loves chaos and is feeding off the anarchy caused by its actions. That’s what sustains it. It doesn’t even properly digest the information it eats. It just sits there in its gut along with me.”
“So, it’s simple,” Buzz said. “If we want the runes, we’re going to have to destroy EarthWorm and free you.”
“That’s about the sum of it,” Jupiter said. “But don’t underestimate EarthWorm by thinking you’ll easily defeat it in battle. I did that, and look what happened to me. You need to be smart.” Jupiter gave a high whistle, and one of the birds that had been flapping at a data tower hopped over to him. “Guide these two to the junk cloud, please. They don’t fly, so stick to the superhighway,” he instructed.
The bird bobbed his head and spread his wings, then soared upward on a jet of air, hovering just above them.
“Hey, we haven’t actually agreed to this little quest, you know,” Buzz protested.
Jupiter flashed a smile. “What other choice do you have? Are you going to stick around here talking to a huge head for the rest of your life?” Jupiter winked. “Thing is, I need to be released if you want me to download you to your next destination. And you really do need those runes.”
There was no arguing with that.
Buzz and Mary took off after the bird, sliding along the rainbow path past the rows and rows of servers, as it flew above their heads.
In the distance, they could see a collection of defunct objects spinning in their own orbits—ancient satellites, rocket motors, and flecks of paint that danced like confetti in the wind. The coiled length of an enormous worm rested on an abandoned rocket platform. Its skin was thin and translucent, and beneath it Buzz could see strings of binary code and pulses of electricity.
As Buzz and Mary approached, the worm began to uncoil itself, foot after foot of rippling translucence, and Buzz caught a glimpse of a body in a linen suit lying very still within its belly. Jupiter. The god wasn’t lying.
The bird above them gave a caw of farewell and wheeled in the sky before beating a hasty retreat back to its companions.
“What exactly is the plan here?” Buzz whispered out of the side of his mouth.
“Haven’t a clue,” Mary responded.
“But you’re supposed to be Sherlock!”
“It’s true, normally by this point I’d have a brilliant idea,” Mary said. “But I’m drawing a blank on how to destroy a virus worm who just so happens to have swallowed a Roman god.”
“Not just any virus worm.” Buzz felt the need to clarify. “A chaos-loving virus worm.” He peered at the creature more closely. “Who looks like one of those weird balloon animals that bad clowns make.”
The EarthWorm was directly in front of them now and reared up, its head weaving from side to side like a snake.
“Maybe we just talk to it,” Mary said, craning her neck to look up at the worm. “I mean, Jupiter tried to fight it and that didn’t work, so maybe diplomacy is a better option.”
“It’s worth a shot.”
Buzz and Mary both stood there. Neither saying a word. Neither moving a step closer to the giant worm.
“Well, go on, then,” Mary said. “Say hello to it.”
“Why me?”
“People don’t tend to like me, Buzz.” Mary spread her arms wide. “I rub them the wrong way. Surely the fact that I had to invent a watch that identifies and destroys water balloons was a clue?”
“Well, Theo Eddows really dislikes me,” Buzz protested, knowing already that he was going to lose this argument. “He put my phone down the toilet. You were there when that all came out!”
“That’s one person.” Mary snorted derisively. “Pretty much my whole school disliked me. Will you just say hello to the worm?”
“Fine.” Buzz stepped forward and held up a hand. “Greetings, EarthWorm. We come in peace.” Man, I sound like a bad Star Trek episode.
A whirring sound and a series of clicks seemed to come from the worm. “You looking at me, kid?” the worm said after a moment. Its voice was high and thin like the feedback you get on speakers, and then it giggled and the sound was the chugging of a laptop booting up. “You’re not in Kansas anymore.”
Mary and Buzz looked at each other.
“Why is this thing talking in film quotes?” Buzz whispered.
“I literally have no idea,” Mary responded.
“‘Come a little closer,’ said the spider to the fly,” the EarthWorm said. “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”
And now quotes from nursery rhymes and the moon landing, Buzz thought. It had to mean something, but he wasn’t sure what.
Buzz took a step closer. “As I said, we’ve come in peace.”
His gaze flicked to where he could see Jupiter through the worm’s skin. He pointed to the outline of the god in the worm’s belly. “You and Jupiter have not gotten off to the best start, but we’d like to change that.” Buzz flashed a smile. “So if you could just regurgitate him or whatever it is that you do, then perhaps we could all sit down and talk.”
“Jupiter mine. My precious.” The worm giggled again. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” The worm’s massive head then hurtled down and Buzz only just managed to leap out of the way.
“Hey!” Mary said. “That’s not fair. We were trying to be nice.”
“Nice guys finish last,” the worm replied, and its head swung toward Mary and smashed down again.
But Mary was quicker and had anticipated the move. She was already clambering up onto a pile of space rubble that spun in the air.
The worm gazed down at her for a scary moment and then lurched forward, its head barging into the base of the rubble, scattering it through the cloudy sky.
Mary flew through the air, hitting the rainbow bridge hard. She slipped along the superhighway like a puck on ice, her hands scrabbling for purchase. She only just managed to grab the edge of the bridge as she went careering over it.
“Mary!” Buzz got to his feet and staggered toward her. “Hang on.”
The Darth Vader voice of her watch was her only response. “You are approximately infinity miles from Tangley Woods.”
The worm made a noise that could only be described as a coo of delight and stopped in its tracks.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan,” the EarthWorm said. “We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”
The worm’s eyes flickered more quickly and the whirring noise within it seemed to be increasing.
“Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father?”
“He told me enough! He told me you killed him!”
“No . . . I am your father!”
The worm giggled again, and Buzz could see something that looked very much like joy on its strange face.
EarthWorm likes film, he realized. All that data it consumed must have contained loads of films, and EarthWorm loved them.
The worm was
gliding toward Mary, who had pulled herself back onto the bridge. Its strange eyes were looking at the watch on her wrist as the gadget kept on calling out the coordinates to Tangley Woods in its Darth Vader voice.
Mary was trapped on the edge of the bridge, and Buzz knew that there was only one thing he could do to save her.
“Throw me the watch,” he yelled.
Mary’s mouth dropped open. “I’m about to get consumed by a worm at worst or pushed off the bridge at best and you want my watch.” She looked furious.
“Just trust me,” Buzz begged. “You do trust me, don’t you?”
Mary hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “Of course I do, Buzz.” She hurled the watch over to him.
Buzz grabbed it and strapped it to his wrist. Darth Vader greeted him in much the same way he greeted everyone else: with directions.
“Hey,” Buzz called. “Fancy this bit of data? Come and get it.”
EarthWorm whipped around and shot out toward him.
“Buzz, what are you doing?” Mary cried, leaving the edge of the superhighway and chasing after the worm.
“Stay where you are!” Buzz called back. But Mary did not listen and continued to run toward him and the worm.
Buzz held his breath as the worm reared up over him, its strange black pupils flickering like the cursor on a computer screen, and then it swooped down and swallowed him whole.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Inside the Worm
Buzz expected everything to be dark and sticky and gloopy inside, but the reverse was true. It was like he was in a huge balloon filled with air that was heavy with static—like the sky before a storm. He could smell electricity. Strings of glowing code swept around him and through him. He was weightless, and he whooshed through the worm’s body, loving the rushing sensation of freedom and the data that rained down on him. Welcoming the facts, files, and documents that exploded behind his eyes.
For moment, he almost forgot that he had a plan—his mind felt so full of the worm and all that it knew. When he remembered, he felt regret that he would have to leave this feeling behind.
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