by Lexy Timms
I wrapped it around my shoulders as I got out. The wind was harsh, and the weather was cold, but I wasn’t quite ready to go home. My boots carried me out into the sand, nearer to the water that threatened to freeze the whole of the coastline in its place. I breathed in the cold, salty air, allowing it to sting my throat as tears rose to my eyes. The stars twinkled off in the distance as the blackness of night hung heavily in the air, and for once, I simply allowed my sadness to take over.
Tears poured down my face, leaving behind tattered trails of memories as my body shivered with the cold.
I could feel the tendrils of my black hair blowing in the breeze. It had grown out, down to my earlobe so I could tuck it back. I kept it out of my face with colorful bows and bobby pins, but deep down my soul was as black as the dye I’d placed in it. Bryan had come into my life with a fire raging in his soul, breaking up the bleakness I’d felt in mine for so long. How ironic it was that I wanted to blast out the darkness by ignoring my own. How ironic it was that I was trying to shine my own pathetic candle of hope and happiness into a concavity as great as this entire town when the man I thought was filled with darkness was really raging with the light I wished to have.
His soul had been set on fire with his brother’s death, a fire that was determined to blast through the harsh memories and try to pull something out that was beautiful.
All I had done was run and sob and wallow. I’d accused Bryan’s darkness of eating him whole, not realizing until this very moment that it was my darkness eating us both whole.
He deserved better, and right there and then, I convinced myself he was gone.
My beloved Bryan, who had stolen my heart and captured the candle of my soul, was gone.
Chapter 7
Bryan
I sat on the couch in my boxers with a beer hanging from my hand. I kept staring at that picture sitting on the chair, still not knowing what to do with it. My parents would probably spit on it or some shit, but hanging it up felt like giving a victory over to Hailey. She had tainted something good that connected me with my brother. She had lied, she had manipulated, and now she had sprayed herself all over the one thing I had that was still innocent. She’d come into my life and put her grimy fingers on it.
I tipped the bottle of beer up to my face as my eyes studied the cabin painting and the way the long, languid brushstrokes would’ve taken a steady hand, the way the straight lines would’ve taken time to formulate, the way the intricacies of the paintings would’ve taken a keen eye and a clear head. All the attributes of the painting screamed of someone who was sober, and I felt an anger bubbling up inside of me.
I was angry that Hailey got part of my sober brother.
He’d been sober I don’t know how many times, but when he was sober, he was always off doing his own thing. When he was high, I saw him a great deal. He never asked for help, but he always wanted support. When he was clean, however, he was always in L.A. doing his own thing instead of asking for more help. I could’ve set him up. I could’ve moved to L.A. and helped keep him clean. I could’ve had my brother back had it not been for my selfishness and his unwillingness to reach out. It would’ve been easy to drop that business in L.A., and I should’ve done it.
There would’ve been so many more paintings like that one had I done that.
I finished off my beer before I set the bottle down. The room was starting to spin, and I closed my eyes to breathe. I still fucking missed her, and I hated myself for it. I couldn’t bring myself to do a one-night stand because I was too vulnerable to do it. I’d probably get attached to some random girl who’d fuck me over again like Hailey had, but I still didn’t have the guts to go over to the gallery and talk to her. I was angry, depressed, frightened. I didn’t want to start asking questions because I wasn’t ready for the truth about my brother that she’d kept from me for weeks.
I opened my eyes, and for a second, I thought she was there. I could smell her perfume and see her hips swaying, and I cursed my body for craving her the way it did. My cock rose its painful ascent underneath my boxers as I sat there, trying to get my brain to stop reliving her, missing her and needing her.
She was a liar who’d used me for nothing more than her own personal and nefarious purposes. She was lonely, so she’d used my body. She needed a gallery, so she’d used my skills. She needed to assuage her own guilt for having a hand in killing my brother, so she tried to save me, talk me through my grief, shine whatever idiotic light she thought she had into my heart. She meant to save me to make up for not being able to save my brother.
It was her fault he was dead.
Suddenly, there came a knock at my door. I groaned and got off the couch before I stumbled my way over to the door. The room felt like it was shifting as my mind undressed Hailey, bringing to light her salivating curves and her tantalizing skin. Even when I was piss drunk, my body still wanted her, and as I ripped the door open, I gazed upon the sight on my porch.
Hailey, with her black hair and her paint-stained pants, was here at my house.
She looked beautiful as ever, and I cursed myself for even thinking it. Her black hair had grown out beyond her earlobes, which was enough for me to fist between my fingers while I plowed into her from behind. Her reddened cheeks boasted of a long workday, which meant things with the gallery were going well. My drunken eyes scanned her body, taking in her beautiful breasts and her luscious hips. I wanted to plant my fingertips right into her curves and bury myself in her warmth again.
My eyes grazed back up to her, no doubt bloodshot from all the alcohol. Hailey was smiling at me, ecstatic that I’d opened the door. I should’ve checked the damn peephole. I should’ve looked out the window. Hell, I should’ve just gone up the fucking stairs and slept this drunken stupor off.
But now that she was here, Drew’s words started to ring out in my head.
Hate sex. Fuck her out of your system. Move on.
“Oh my gosh, Bryan. I’m so glad you opened the door. We really need to talk. Could I come in?”
I grabbed her arm and pulled her inside while she squealed. I slammed the door shut and turned around to her, suddenly no longer approving of the amount of clothing she was wearing. I took to work, uncovering her body as my hands sloppily ran across her form, but she grabbed my hands to stop me.
“Bryan, no. We need to talk. Bryan!”
My lips slammed against hers, silencing her, and I felt her grow weak in her knees. Her hands flew around my neck, clawing at my bare back as my hands continued to rip off her jeans. I didn’t give a shit about her top, nor did I care what happened to her panties. All I knew was I had to get her out of my system.
I needed to fuck her stupid, kick her out, and tell her I never wanted to see her again.
Our tongues danced with one another, a familiar tango I had long since memorized as her lips started swelling against mine. I stumbled us back onto the couch and felt her drop down, and she tried talking again.
“Bryan, please. Let’s talk first.”
I crouched down and slammed my lips back into hers, laying her down on the couch, I felt her body finally give in. I felt her hands sliding up my back while her legs willingly parted for me. Her fingernails raked into my skin as I drunkenly growled into her. She felt exactly as I’d remembered. Soft. Delicate. Fiery with a hint of sweetness. I could taste cherry blossom upon her lips as her hips rolled into my body, and as her growing wetness covered my stomach, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
I was going to take from her what I wanted instead of paying attention to her.
I scooted my hips up to her lips and tapped myself upon her mouth. I looked down at her and fisted her dyed black hair, waiting patiently for her to open her mouth. She smiled up at me as her hands ran up my thighs. Then, Her warmth encompassed me while her tongue played around the thickness of my tip. I sighed, my head falling back as I finally started living every damn dream that had plagued me for over a month.
I could feel the way she drew me in, her cheeks ho
llowing out while her hands dug into the muscles of my ass. I could feel the way my hips naturally rolled into her, feeling her gag on my erection while I smirked. I felt alive. For the first time in weeks, I felt truly alive, and the drunken stupor I had been in slowly began to lift like a hazy fog lifting from a settled hill in the road.
I ripped myself from between her lips and pulled her up by her hand. I twisted her around while she panted, her ass wiggling at me while her body physically trembled. I pulled her underwear down her legs, not caring if she took them off or not while I seated myself behind her. Without a word, I pushed into her, feeling her legs shaking and trembling as I bottomed out into her body.
She felt just like she did the first time we were ever together, and my body trembled at the mercy of her body as I tried to push back the memories.
This is only one time. You need to do this. You need to get her out of your system, Bryan.
“Oh, how you fill me,” Hailey said, whispering. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I fucked her relentlessly while she bucked back into me. I didn’t want to hear any more words like that. I didn’t want to hear about how she missed me or how she wanted my body. I silenced her with the slamming of my hips while her arousal dripped down my body. I could feel her tightening around me. I could feel her steady body giving way as she planted her face into the couch. A month’s worth of passion and scorching dreams bubbled to the surface, and suddenly the couch wasn’t the only place I wanted her.
I pulled out from between her legs and wrapped my arms around her. I settled my cheek against her back, taking a moment to listen to her pant. Then I ripped her up, sat down, and eased myself back into her while her back settled into my chest.
“Shit, Bryan. Yes. Just like this. Please.”
I began pounding up into her, silencing those bullshit phrases again as every single hair on my body stood on end. I was trying to ignore the electricity running through my system. I was trying to ignore the way her body was pulsing against mine. I was trying to ignore the way her pussy was becoming greedy, pulling me deeper and deeper into her while her fingers laced with mine.
I was trying to forget how perfectly her hand settled into mine as I bounced her chest with my every thrust.
I could feel her dripping down my thickness, coating me with her arousal as her body went limp in my lap. I stood up and ripped out from between her legs, earning a groan of frustration on her part as I whipped her around and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around me like the sweet little girl she was and barreled her lips back into me. I rammed her into the wall, shocking her with the force of the impact as a couple of pictures fell to the ground.
“Please let me come,” she said desperately. “Please, Bryan.”
For the first time since I’d pulled her into my home, I looked up into her eyes. Those big, beautiful eyes accented by her big, beautiful cheeks. Her lips came down onto mine preciously. Softly. Like she was trying to rediscover a tenderness between the two of us to let her know everything was all right.
She was trying to figure out if this was our rekindling, but little did she know this was our last goodbye.
I didn’t kiss her back. Her lips encompassed mine, but I refused to give into the softness. She looked at me with a perplexing gaze as my hips slowly slid back, but the moment I thrust back into her the moment was gone. She groaned at the feeling of me filling her as her body shook against the wall, and I smirked at how easy it was to get the manipulator to cave to me.
To get the liar to be vulnerable.
She thought this was our makeup, but this was really our breakup.
Now, she was the one being lied to, and I wanted to see how she enjoyed it.
Time after time, I pumped deeply into her. I rolled my hips while my thickness grazed every single part of her walls. My hands planted firmly on the wall as she shook my house, her lips parted with ecstasy as I bit down on my own. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of hearing my sounds. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how wonderful she made me feel. Her body clung to me as my rhythm grew faster, and soon her entire body was bouncing and rolling against mine in a desperate attempt to chase the end she so desperately wanted.
I peeled her from the wall and walked her back over to the couch. I set her down on her uneven feet before I bent her over the arm of the couch. I pressed myself into her one last time, grinning at how easily I slipped in between her legs. I could see her thick thighs glistening with her want while her chest panted with desire. I could feel myself reaching my own end as she dipped her fingertips between her legs, succumbing to what I knew she wanted my own fingers to do.
But I wasn’t giving her any of it. This was my moment to do what I had to do, and she wasn’t going to ruin it with her selfishness.
I felt her body pulsing around me as she pulled me closer and closer to her. My legs pulled taut and my back arched. I reached down and fisted her hair one last time as I pulled her head back. She called out, my name dripping from her lips as she met her end, and I could feel the way she massaged me. She clamped down onto every part of me, pulling from me an orgasm that took effort to stifle. I wanted to spew her name out. I want to groan and moan and collapse on top of her.
But with every pump of relief that filled her body, I felt her finally draining from my system.
I smiled as I stood there, swaying on my feet while the mixed evidence of our encounter dripped out of her body.
I pulled out of her and let her fall to the couch. I tucked myself back into my boxers, drawing in a deep breath. The air around us was tainted with the smell of sex, and I reached over to cut on the overhead fan as I smirked. In a few minutes, the only proof of our encounter would be gone, and I would finally be free of her.
I could see Hailey finally peeling herself from my furniture as she stumbled for her jeans.
“Bryan, we really need to talk about John,” she said.
That name. That one little name. That four-letter name that shocked me back into reality. It was like someone had reached into my heart, planted an electrode, and cranked it up before they shocked me. That name falling from her lips boiled an anger in the pit of my stomach even I didn’t know I was capable of.
She didn’t have a right to say that name.
She didn’t have a right to demand we talk about him.
I grabbed her arm while she was pulling her pants up. She stumbled to get them on while I pulled her toward the door, opening it with a fury before I thrust her out onto the porch. Her eyes were wild with confusion as she finished buttoning herself up, and all I could do was stare at her as the sweat finally stopped dripping down my back.
“Bryan, please. Don’t do this. We really need to talk, if only so you can have clear answers.”
“I don’t ever want to see you again,” I said.
Her widened stare morphed into one of fear and as she reached for me I stepped back.
“Bryan, you don’t mean that. That, in there, t-t-that was—”
“A final encounter to get you out of my system. If you come back around here, I’ll call the police and have you arrested for trespassing.”
“No, you won’t,” she said. “You need this. You need to ask me questions.”
“I don’t ever want to see you again.”
I could see the tears rising in her eyes as I shut the door in her face. I looked around the room, taking stock of the pictures that had fallen off the wall. I walked over and picked them up, straightening up my living room I had torched in the process of getting her out of my system. I could hear her soft sobs on my porch and for a split second, I felt bad for her. For a split second, my angry heart reached out to her to calm her down.
But it was only for a second.
Chapter 8
Hailey
I stood there on his porch while he shut the door in my face. Tears were already streaming down my cheeks as my sobs began to wrack my chest. What the hell had just happened? My body felt alive
, full again while his arousal dripped into my underwear. But he had just cast me out like an unwanted animal, and I crumbled on his porch.
I felt a searing headache rip through the front of my head as I took in a stifling breath. The pain ripped the air directly from my lungs, and for a single moment, I couldn’t breathe. I heard the rumbling of a storm off in the distance punctuating the moment that had already happened. I finally found the strength through my searing headache to pick myself up off the ground and head for my car.
And not once did Bryan ever double-back to open the door.
I’d come over to talk. I’d come over to give him answers. It had taken me a week to find the courage to do this, and I was met with this. I could taste the alcohol on his lips, and I should’ve kept denying him. I should’ve kept pushing him off me and kept demanding that we talk. But his touch had been so wanting, and he was already practically naked. Holy hell, I’d missed the way his body felt against mine, the way he filled me so perfectly and always left me satisfied.
Well, until now, that is.
The headache raged through my skull again and took me to my knees. I knelt beside my car, taking deep breaths, so I wouldn’t get sick and puke in his driveway. The last thing I needed was to try and clean up that kind of mess with Bryan being half-drunk in his home. He was probably stumbling his way upstairs, watching my pathetic existence try to make it to my car after he fucked me into oblivion.
From the moment he opened the door, he never had any passion to talk.
All he wanted to do was get me out of his system one last time.
For good.
I took deep breaths as my vision continued to shake. I finally got the door of my car open and climbed in as the nausea I was feeling wafted up my throat. I swallowed and grimaced, finding the strength to crank my car so I could start blasting the air conditioning unit. I’d been painting too much and been so focused on finishing up my portraits of Bryan that I hadn’t even stopped to think what that was doing to my eyes.