by Miles, Amy
He steps closer, entering my personal space. He pauses less than two inches from my nose. I close my eyes as his breath washes over my face. I stifle a moan and I open my eyes to find him gauging my reaction.
I want to reach up and touch him, to feel his pulse against the palm of my hand as I cup his neck, pull him close and lean up into the kiss that I’m yearning for.
The spell is broken when he retreats a few steps. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away toward the woods. “If it’ll help, then I’m in.”
I shiver against the cold void left in his absence. “Thank you,” I whisper as he turns and marches toward camp at a fast clip, almost as if he is running away from me. I don’t blame him.
Kyan waves us over as Bastien breaks through the tree line first. I follow, but make no effort to catch up. Eamon’s jaw locks down when he sees the flush that rises along my neck. I shrink into my jacket, scolding myself for not holding it together better.
“I think it might be easier for everyone if you sit this one out, Eamon,” Kyan kindly suggests, tugging him in the opposite direction.
Eamon pulls away and faces off toe-to-toe with Bastien. “I’ll be watching you.”
He turns and envelopes me in a bear hug, his arms clenched tightly around my neck as he buries his face in my hair. He kisses my forehead and then smirks at Bastien over my shoulder. Apart from the slight curl of his lip, Bastien betrays none of the rage I can sense simmering just under the surface.
I blow out a breath as Eamon stalks off. He heads for our cabin and slams the door behind him. “I’m not sure this a good idea, Kyan.”
“You’re committed now,” he says, looking between Bastien and me. It’s hard to tell if he’s following my neurotic feelings, Bastien’s tight lipped emotions or Eamon’s explosive frustration.
“So what now?” Bastien asks.
“You stand there. Illyria will do the rest.” Kyan pulls me a few feet away. “Close your eyes, control your breathing and focus on Bastien. Only him.”
When I approach Bastien, I know I won’t be able to concentrate with him peering down at me; I go around to his back and position myself to face the woods. Just knowing he is right behind me is enough to make my pulse pound in my ears. I close my eyes and try to push the world away.
Nothing happens.
“I knew it wouldn’t work,” I mutter under my breath.
“Try creating a picture of Bastien in your mind,” Kyan suggests.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I think about him, but all I can conjure up are his purple-ringed eyes, sallow cheeks and the dull, haunted eyes that refuse to look at me.
“It’s no use.” I throw up my hands, angry that I’ve failed again.
“Don’t worry. We can try again…” Kyan’s voice fades away. I turn and watch as an intrigued smile parts his lips. “That’s not a bad idea, but are you comfortable with that?”
“What’s going on?” I ask warily. Neither look at me as they keep their conversation private. Bastien turns and locks his gaze on me. I stiffen as he approaches, easily pushing my boundaries for the second time today. “What are you doing?”
“Making you uncomfortable.” I have to widen my stance as he places his foot in between mine. He leans in so close, I’m sure he can feel the trembling of my lips. “You feel it, don’t you?”
“Please stop,” I whisper, darting a glance at Kyan, who is trying his best to hide a grin. “It’s embarrassing.”
“No can do, Princess. This is why I’m here.”
“Close your eyes and try again,” Kyan commands. I shoot a poisonous glare at him before he turns away.
I grit my teeth and close my eyes before facing Bastien again. I know this is a waste of time. It’s impossible to concentrate when I can practically feel his chest pressed against mine.
“You’re trying too hard,” Kyan calls from behind me.
“Maybe you should open your eyes,” Bastien whispers.
I peek up at him and am hit by the full intensity of his nearness. It’s not just his proximity, but the look in his eyes, his unrepentant need. I have always known he wanted me, but this is the first time he has allowed his lust to consume him.
He presses his thigh against mine, leaning in to let his breath wash over my neck. My skin tingles, betraying me. I waver, fighting for each breath as his hands encircle my waist, pulling me against the length of his body.
Sweat beads along my brow as I roll my neck, allowing him access to my delicate skin. He lifts his hands and pulls my hair back. The feel of his skin against mine makes me moan with desire. Kyan fades out completely. There is only us.
“Breathe, Illyria,” Bastien whispers in my ear.
His sultry voice smashes through my flimsy resolve. Passion, raw and untamed, flows through my body as I wrap my leg around Bastien, pressing intimately against him. Bastien lowers his head and presses his lips to my neck, sending me into a tailspin of hormones. His lips trace a slow line toward my jaw, tender and achingly controlled.
I want him to let go, to break through the bond that restrains him. I long for it as I ache for his touch. My hands splay across his back, begging him to continue.
“Whoa!” Bastien cries out and backs away, staring down at my body
I stumble, irritated with his sudden rejection. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Well…technically I’m not. Look down.”
I suck in a breath at the stunning smile that chases away the dullness in his eyes. His pride pours off him and bowls me over. It’s hard to break my stare as I catch a glimpse of the boy I fell in love with. When I look down, my vision spins as I try to comprehend the complete lack of me. No torso, arms or legs. “I’m invisible?”
I squeal with delight and leap into Bastien’s arms. He stumbles back, trying to compensate for my sudden weight. His arms tighten around my legs and back, easily holding my weight. “Warn me next time, will ya?”
“Opps. Sorry about that.” I wrap my arms around his neck as Kyan rushes up, pumping his fists in the air.
“I knew you could do it!” He crows proudly.
“Yeah, it’s great but now that I’m all turned on…uh…crap,” I groan, slapping my forehead. I’m thankful neither of them can see my flaming red face. “How do I turn it off?”
Bastien smirks and tugs me closer as Kyan frowns. “I’m not really sure. Try backing away from Bastien.”
He lowers me to the ground and backs away, his gaze remaining steady on the place he thinks he left me. Once he is about ten feet away, I feel the tightness in my chest release. The sensitivity of my skin diminishes and the warmth recedes.
“Well done,” Kyan grins as I reappear. He cocks his head and his smile fades. “I think that is enough for today. Eamon has had about all he can stand.”
I turn to find Eamon storming across the clearing toward us. I rush to his side, looping my arm through his to prevent him from pummeling Bastien. He offers me a tight smile before turning on Kyan. “You proved your point. It worked. Now let’s find a better solution.” He casts a murderous glare at Bastien. “I’m sure Bastien has better things to do with his time.”
Bastien shrugs, unconcerned by Eamon’s anger. “I’m sure I can make time in my schedule to help out with anything Illyria needs.”
Eamon lunges, yanking me off my feet, but Kyan leaps between the two guys. “That is enough. There will be no fighting here today, is that understood?”
Bastien grins and backs away, his hands held up in peaceful surrender, but I know it’s not over. The hard glint in his eye is too evident. “Not my fault you didn’t like what you saw.”
“Of course I didn’t!” Eamon’s face contorts into a mask of rage. “But just remember one thing, Bastien…you might be the hero of her dreams, but I’m her destiny.”
Bastien stumbles backward, his face ashen. The hollow man returns with a vengeance as he casts one horrified glance at me and then flees to the woods.
“Good riddance,” Eamon
growls, tugging me close into his side.
I shove him away, furious at him. “How could you do that to him?”
“I knew you’d take his side!”
“No,” I shake my head. “I chose you, that’s true, but you don’t have to be cruel about it. Can’t you see that I’ve hurt him enough already?”
Eamon is taken aback. Kyan turns away from the woods to glare at Eamon. “Helping Illyria cost Bastien a lot today. I would think you, of all people, would know what it is like to desire something you know is out of reach.”
Gulping hard, Eamon nods and drops his head. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Will he be ok?” I whisper
Kyan steps between us and wraps his arm around my shoulder, comforting me as tears sting my eyes. “He knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed to help you.”
“I wish I’d never agreed to try.” Tears slip silently down my cheeks.
Kyan squeezes my shoulder and then steps back. “I’ll go check on him if you’d like.”
I nod and watch as he slips into the woods, wishing more than anything it could be me that goes to comfort Bastien.
Chapter 28
As December gives way to a bitterly cold January, I struggle to keep Bastien from my mind. His seclusion has become far more pronounced. Days go by and I hardly catch a glimpse of him. When I do, my guilt swells to suffocating proportions.
Since that fateful training session, my relationship with Eamon has been tense. I can’t seem to put Bastien from my mind and that has carved a chasm between Eamon and me. After two months, I had hoped to be a better girlfriend to Eamon, but I am failing miserably. The hand holding has advanced to minor cuddling, but I have yet to allow him close enough to risk a first kiss. I can’t bear the thought of disappointing him.
Training sessions with Kyan are more frustrating now than ever. We know my trigger, but are unable to access it again, for obvious reasons, so I am failing once again. Even though Kyan doesn’t show his disappointment, I know it’s there. It’s in the tone of his voice and at the end of his clipped words.
He pushes me harder now as winter progresses and the risk of attack becomes imminent. All I can pray for is that, when the time comes, and my life is in danger once more, some of Kyan’s training will help me to control the Shadow within.
Today’s lesson was the hardest of all. I step into the dining cabin and smile at Eamon’s loud call. Limping to his side, I gingerly sit down on the wooden bench beside him. “No offense, but you look terrible,” he says.
“Gee, thanks,” I groan as I lift my leg over the bench. Even without scanning the room, I know Bastien is gone. He hardly ever comes in to eat any more. Probably still out practicing in the clearing. “Kyan has me trying to deflect objects. It’s not going so well.”
Eamon frowns, brushing his finger lightly across the fading bruise along my cheek. “He’s pushing you too hard. Every night you come in here looking like you wrestled with a bear. I think you need to take a break. Drakon isn’t foolish enough to attack in the dead of winter.”
“We don’t know that.”
“I agree,” Toren speaks up, leaning forward to join our conversations. “The scouts are showing movement among Drakon’s ranks. It is possible they are planning an attack.”
“Or they are moving out of the region. We have no idea what their movement could mean,” Eamon protests.
I place a hand on his arm. “Either way I trust that Kyan knows best. I’m fine with his rigid training schedule, but I would kill for a nice dip in the Cascades.”
Eamon’s frustration melts away as he wraps his arm around my waist. “Maybe someday we can go back.”
“Perhaps.” I look toward the platter in the center of the table, grab a chunk of meat off and tear into it. It is lukewarm but tasty enough. “Kyan wants to advance me up to deflecting stun lasers next week. I might need you to carry me in here each night, Eamon.”
Toren’s eyes widen with surprise. “You can do that?”
“Apparently. Kyan thinks someday I might be able to deflect the red ones, but I’m not ready to test that one anytime soon!”
“He’s insane!” Eamon growls. “If he thinks I’m going to let you...”
“Kyan would never put Illyria’s life in danger. You know that, Eamon.” Zahra’s voice is tight with reproach at Eamon’s protest.
A pounding begins in the back of my head, slowly inching its way forward as I chew down several more bits of meat. I hardly taste it. A deep weariness sinks into my muscles as I slump against Eamon.
“Maybe you should turn in early tonight.” He suggests. I lean my head back into his shoulder and close my eyes. “I could come tuck you in.”
My stomach lurches at Zahra’s snicker. I open my eyes to see a faint flush rising along Eamon’s shirt collar and silently groan. Even if I weren’t desperately exhausted I would have found some way to put him off. I know he is waiting…but I just can’t.
“No, I don’t want to take you away from your dinner,” I say, leaning in closer to reassure him. “I’ll be out in less than a minute anyways.”
“Are you sure?” Eamon watches me as I turn and push up off the bench, feeling more like a crippled old woman than a teenager.
“Yeah.” I smile at him, dipping low to brush my lips against his cheek before heading out the door. I hope that that will ease his hurt feelings.
I burrow into the heavy lining of my coat and hurry along the path. Our cabin isn’t the closest, but it is only a few minutes’ walk from the dining cabin, an eternity in artic temperatures.
As I approach the unlit cabin, a light in the distance catches my eyes. I frown, confused by the candle flickering from the partially opened door of the armory. Only a couple people have access to that room. Something is wrong.
My exhaustion is shoved aside by an adrenaline spike as I rush forward, careful to avoid the icy bits along the sunken portions of the ground. I drop into a fighting crouch, ignoring the biting pain in my right leg. I mull over the idea of calling for help, but Kyan is out on patrol and I don’t want to worry Toren and Eamon needlessly. Besides, it’s been too long since I had a proper fight.
As I inch toward the door, I can hear footsteps inside creaking back and forth on the boards. I crane my neck, trying to peer around the door in hopes of catching a glimpse of the intruder. Silence falls over the armory and I go completely still.
The door bursts open and a dark figure leaps at me, pinning me to the ground. The weight of him is crushing as strong hands seize control of my arms. I fight back, arching my back, bucking wildly as I attempt to knock him off me.
His legs clamp down around my waist, painfully immobilizing my lower half. He grunts as I head butt him. Blood sprays my face as his nose shatters. His grasp on my wrists loosens and I’m able to rock him off.
Clawing at the dirt, I pull myself across the ground, fighting to free myself from his hold. I kick back with my boot and am rewarded with a thud followed by a string of expletives. I reach out, straining for any form of weapon I can use against him.
My fingers wrap around a small, knobby tree branch, and I roll onto my back and come up swinging. A thud reverberates down my arm as I connect with his arm. With a sickening groan, he collapses and his weight shifts away.
I shove him off, freeing my legs. One hard kick to his stomach has him gasping in the dark. I scramble to my knees and stagger to my feet. Shooting pains torpedo down my right leg, slowing me to an awkward hobble.
Only a couple feet from the moonlit path, he slams me from behind, knocking me to the ground. My face smashes against the rocks, slashing through several layers of skin. Stars float before my eyes as I fight to remain conscious.
The man’s weight atop me in unbearable as I free my arms. His body spreads along mine, pinning me face first into the dirt. I reach back and claw his arms, raking my nails down his exposed skin. I fight to call on my powers, confused by the Shadow’s lack of appearance.
An elbow sl
ams into my side and I feel my ribs crack. My cries are muffled by the ground. My attacker stiffens, hesitating. His moment of indecision is all I need. I snap my head back and connect with his chin. He howls with pain as I toss him off balance and crawl toward the path.
Aminah! My scream reverberates through my entire body and I grimace as pain echoes from every extremity.
In seconds, Toren will arrive, but for the moment I am alone and very much in danger.
“Get back here,” a deep voice snarls behind me.
I reach the path as the last blow falls. A shriek rips from my lips as a boot connects with my right leg, shattering everything below my knee. I collapse to the ground, my leg bent at a sickening angle. My body convulses as I roll onto my side, screaming, cradling my shattered leg. The moonlight overhead blurs out of focus as the pain consumes my thoughts.
“Illyria?” The man cries out, his voice filled with dismay. “Oh God! What have I done?”
The world spins as I’m swept away by a torrent of pain. Loud sounds rise around me but quickly fade into a garbled mess. I feel woozy and welcome the sweet call of oblivion as darkness consumes my vision. The last thing I see, emerging from the shadows, is Bastien’s face riddled with shame and horror.
***
“Bastien,” I call as my eyes flutter open. Pain radiates up from my leg and my stomach clenches painfully with wave after wave of nausea. “Where’s Bastien?”
“Kyan!” Aminah’s scream makes me wince as pain lances behind my eye.
Hurried footsteps crunch on the ice-glazed ground. Kyan kneels beside me, tucking his hand under my head to help ease me up. “How are you feeling?”
“How do you think I feel? My leg can touch my freaking hip!” I groan and clamp my eyes shut. Yelling was a bad idea.
“I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to heal you yet. I’ve been a bit…preoccupied.”
The instant Kyan’s eyes flicker away from mine I know there is trouble that far exceeds my own. “Tell me.”