by Lynn, Davida
I shook myself out of my trance before he noticed and caught me staring. I stepped through, letting the door slam closed and announce my presence. When it did, he turned to face me.
He was handsome. All right, it was more than that—he was hot. I looked away, hoping to think of something to say. “Hi, are you here to volunteer?”
I looked back at the man, praying that he would say yes. He had soft blue eyes that made me feel completely at ease. And his smile didn’t help me compose myself at all.
“Yeah. Um, I think I called and signed up with Leslie?” He sounded nervous. “Sorry, I’m not really sure how this all works. It’s my first time.”
I will be more than happy to show you the ropes. I smiled at him, hoping I didn’t look completely obvious. “No problem. We are grateful for anyone we can get, even if you have no experience cooking. Not that you don’t. I’m just saying…” I was starting out strong, as usual.
Picking up the volunteer clipboard, I dragged a pen down the list. “What’s your name?”
“Kade McCaffery.”
I stopped scrolling and stared at him. “Really?”
He gave a confused look. “Yeah. Am I not on the list? I mean, I can always come back.”
“No, no!” I squeaked. If I hadn’t sounded foolish before, I sure as hell did now. “You’re on the list. I found you. I’m Layne, one of the coordinators at Helping Hands.”
“Nice to meet you.” He flashed a more confident smile. He might have been a fish out of water, but that seemed to be fading already.
I returned his smile. Shatrice and I were dead wrong about this one. “Come on back, Kade.”
Holding open the door, I let him pass, taking in his body up close. He had a musky cologne on that was subtle, but made him seem even manlier. As he passed me, I checked his left hand. No ring. Well, that was a start.
I followed him through, stepping around him. “Shatrice, would you mind waiting for the two groups? I’m going to show Kade around.” I spoke his name with extra weight, letting her know I’d solved the mystery. She shook her head so imperceptibly that I almost didn’t pick it up. When Kade turned around, she rolled her eyes hard.
I turned around to face him. “It’s pretty hot in here, and it’s only going to get hotter. If I were you, I’d ditch the hoodie. We have a place for personal belongings over there.”
I pointed past the storeroom, but he gave me a polite shake of his head. “I don’t mind the heat. I’ll keep it on, thanks.”
I shrugged. “Suit yourself, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Come with me. I’ll give you the grand tour.”
“Sounds good. But just so you are aware, I really don’t know my way around a kitchen. You were dead right about me.” He was soft-spoken, but in a good way. He made me feel like I was the only person in the room with him.
I laughed. “I’m sorry. I was just throwing that out there. I hope I didn’t offend you, or anything.”
He shook his head. “No offense taken. I think this might be good for me, actually.”
“I hope so.” This might be good for me, too.
It wasn’t long before I had Kade peeling potatoes like a champ. I showed him how to do one, and after that, he took over. I watched him, marveling at how good he was with his hands, even with a few of his fingers bandaged together. I wondered about them, but didn’t want to ask. Besides, I had to get back to what I had cooking.
I stole glances at him any chance I got. He worked quickly and made small talk with some of the other volunteers. Every once in a while, he’d catch my eye and smile. My heart would flutter, and I’d have to turn away in a hurry. Shatrice must have noticed, because she came over and wanted to know what was up. Typical Shatrice.
“Nothing.” I said, trying to keep the girlish emotion out of my voice. “It’s nothing.” But Shatrice knew me too well to believe that load of crap.
“My ass, it’s nothing. You better make a move. He’s hot, he’s not married, and he’s here volunteering. How many of your must-haves does this guy have to meet before you jump on it?”
I stared at her, wide-eyed. “Keep it down! If he hears you, I will drown you in this soup!”
She laughed and turned back to look Kade over again. “Whatever he does, it keeps him looking fine, girl. If you don’t ask him out, I will.”
“How do you think Darnell will feel about that?”
She rolled her eyes. “If Darnell saw this guy, he’d be racing over to ask him out. Layne, he seems really sweet, and he’s here volunteering his time at a damn soup kitchen. He’s perfect for you.”
I wanted to stamp my foot down. I could flirt with the best of them, but that didn’t mean I could just ask someone out. I was a bit old-fashioned in that respect. If a guy was interested, I liked to wait for him to make the first move. It made me feel wanted and feminine. I worked hard enough in my regular life. Why should I work hard in my love life, too?
Still, I knew that Shatrice would never let me live it down if Kade slipped through my fingers. “All right. If it will shut you up, I’ll do it.”
She gave me that big-sister look. “If you don’t I’ll keep setting you up with Darnell’s best friends. They’re all the cream of the crop.”
“Oh, I bet they are. If they’re as high-quality as Aaron was, I just don’t know which one I’ll choose to be my husband.”
My mouth dried out as I thought of asking Kade out. That, of course, led to wondering how I would ask him out in the first place. I didn’t have the confidence to just dive in headfirst. I was going to have to try and make myself irresistible to him.
As we got ready to serve lunch, I made sure that Kade was at the end of the line handing out grilled cheese sandwiches. I was right next to him, ladling soup into bowls for our guests.
He looked down at his tray of grilled cheeses and leaned in close to me. “I can’t help but think you put me here so that I do the least amount of damage.”
It took every bit of my willpower not to lean against his broad shoulder and nuzzle up to his neck. He had a deep, rumbling voice that just made me sigh every time he spoke.
“I’m not worried about you doing any damage, Kade.” His baby blues were so hard to break my gaze away from. “I wanted your smiling face to be the last one they see when they come up for meals.”
Butterflies took flight in my stomach as I waited for his reaction. I had definitely been flirting with him that morning, but now I was laying it on thick. I wanted him to know that I was interested, hoping that it would be enough to spur him on.
He laughed, and I let out a sigh of relief. “Well, thank you for that.”
As we served, the two of us kept joking and poking fun at each other. Everything felt very comfortable between us, and I loved seeing him interact with some of our regulars. He was kind and asked about what they were interested in doing. He offered to help a few people with job interviews and I got the impression that he worked for the city.
I remembered what Shatrice had said. He was handsome, kind, and volunteered—all fantastic things. He seemed motivated and energetic, and there was a definite magnetism between us.
After lunch, the first wave of volunteers would be leaving, and Shatrice knew it. She was giving me that look. I had agreed to ask him out, and so far I had failed to work up the courage. As the line got smaller, I knew that I had to make my move before he left for the day, and maybe even forever.
The last people had been served, and we got our own plates and had lunch. Kade followed me down the line and sat next to me. My heart thundered at the prospect of asking him out. I was really hoping he would have spoken up already, but he seemed content with our superficial interaction.
I swallowed my fears and spoke up. “You know, you did a great job today. I think with a little bit of instruction, you could become a great cook.”
Kade looked down at me. I could tell he appreciated the compliment. I just hoped he got the hint, as well. “Are you trying to lure me back to work for free agai
n?”
I shrugged. “You could come back here.” It was the moment of truth. I had to lay it all out there. “Or you could cook me dinner.”
It was as if my heart had stopped. After beating so hard through our lunch, it seemed to hold steady in anticipation along with every other part of me. I saw his eyes open slightly wider. I’d caught him off-guard.
I waited for what seemed like hours. Then he smiled at me.
“Maybe we could cook together, just in case I screw something up.”
Oh, God, there was something so magical about that moment. My stomach was filled with butterflies. Kade had this quiet strength about him that made me blush. I bit my bottom lip.
Making sure not to literally breathe out a sigh of relief, I replied, “I’d really like that.” Across the table, I saw Shatrice smile and look back down at her soup.
At the time, I had no problem saying yes to Layne. She was funny, smart, and cute. Who wouldn’t have said yes to a date? In fact, I wanted to kick myself for not asking her before she manned up and did it. If the guys at the station found out she asked me, I’d never live it down. Either way, I was happy about the whole thing. But as I walked down the sidewalk to her apartment, I wondered if it was really a good idea. I wasn’t exactly in the best place in my life when it came to work.
Two weeks of mandatory leave. That’s what they gave me. There were no accusations and none of my superiors blamed me for what I had done. In fact, most of my talks mirrored the one I had with Clay. They agreed that I had done everything I could. The only reason I had to take the leave at all was because I had been through two major incidents in such a short period of time.
Just when my problems had started to ease up, I’d watched my partner fall from a third-story apartment and land in the hospital. Yeah, firefighters compartmentalized, but looking back I should have asked Layne for a rain check. I almost fucked everything up with her because of my goddamn pride.
Things started off just fine. For once, my job wasn’t on my mind. I took that as a good sign. It took a lot to clear my head, but Layne managed it effortlessly. I hadn’t been on a date for a while, but I wasn’t nervous. We seemed to have really good chemistry. I didn’t feel like there would be any awkward moments between us.
I knocked on her door and took a step back. After a few seconds, I heard the lock release. When the door opened, I couldn’t help but smile. She looked absolutely stunning. At the soup kitchen her dirty blonde hair had been straight, but now it fell around her shoulders in gentle waves. She wore a shiny button-up blouse that wasn’t quite buttoned up.
“Wow.” Yeah, I actually said it. “Layne, you look gorgeous.”
She smiled, and I wanted to remember it forever. I got the impression that she didn’t get too many compliments, but I had no idea why. She really was beautiful. “Thank you. You look great, too.”
“Nah, I’m nothing special.” I was just wearing a pair of dark jeans and my usual turtleneck. Besides some gel in my hair, I didn’t look much different than I had when we’d first met. “You ready?”
Layne nodded, and when she turned to get her purse her hair followed just a beat behind. I watched her curls bounce and only barely resisted the urge to let out a low groan. In that moment I realized I might’ve been spending a little too much energy on work. I might have forgotten about that eternal beauty that is a woman.
We decided on drinks before dinner, so we headed downtown to an old, quiet bar. Layne found a booth while I ordered. Even in the dim light, she looked like a spotlight was on her. I was having trouble pulling my eyes away. I headed back to the booth carrying a vodka cranberry and a scotch. She saw me coming and a warm smile crept over her face. I had the small heart attack that people get on amazing first dates.
After the scotch filled me with a glow from the inside, I began to relax. Layne was really calming. Even when she brought up my job, my blood pressure stayed at a manageable level.
“Oh, my God,” she said, setting her drink down. “I never asked what you do!”
She looked excited, like she had just learned some magical secret. I wanted to talk about anything but firefighting, but I couldn’t hide that from her. When people asked, their usual reaction was to get the “hero” look in their eyes. From then on, they thought of you differently. I didn’t want to risk Layne thinking of me as anything but the guy she had been brave enough to ask out.
“Oh.” For a split second, I considered lying. “I work for the city.”
Layne nodded like it was interesting; she was sweet. “You work downtown?”
I nodded, taking a sip of my scotch to delay the inevitable. “I’m… uh, I’m a firefighter.”
Her eyes lit up, “That was my first guess.” Her tone seemed to rise as she spoke. My heart raced, and I could tell that hers did, as well.
“Your first guess?”
She nodded, “Well-built, strong, silent type, avoiding telling me what you actually do. Firefighter. I get it.”
I laughed. Layne had me stunned, “Those were your clues? That I work out and don’t talk much?”
“Yeah. I know the DFD gets more than their fair share of hate, and I know first responders don’t like talking about their work. We have quite a few paramedics that come in. You’re a bit more… well… muscular than most paramedics, so I would have said cop, but then you said you work downtown, so… firefighter.”
I didn’t know what to say. Hell, I didn’t know what to think. Layne didn’t seem all that impressed with the job, which was a breath of fresh air, but it was also just about the only game I had. If that didn’t impress her, I was going to have to be charming. God help me.
Maybe Layne saw the look on my face. “I can act more impressed, if you want.” She winked at me from behind her vodka cran.
I shook my head. “I don’t need hero worship. That’s not why I do it.”
She cocked her head to the side. Her curls fell and bounced elegantly.
“Do tell.”
I sighed and leaned back against our booth. “People think of us in this certain way when they find out what I do. They think we’re these great humanitarians, trying to save the world and fix people. Here’s a secret: most of us are broken, looking to fix ourselves.”
She leaned in, “Are you looking to fix yourself?”
“I wasn’t, at first.” It was deceptively easy to open up to her. It wasn’t like talking to the shrink, or even my coworkers. “I was looking for the rush, to be honest.”
She nodded, and I went on. “I romanticized it, for sure. I run into the mouth of a fire-breathing dragon for a living. It’s about beating down a living enemy bigger and stronger and more eternal than any man alive. That’s what I do. And I love it. Or I did.”
“What happened?”
Her eyes were still trained on me. God, I couldn’t say no to her. Layne found some secret key that unlocked doors I had tried so hard to barricade myself behind. I was about to tell her about Marco and LaTonya, but she cut me off.
“No, don’t.”
“No?”
She smiled. “It’s not my business. Work is work. It’s not something we need to talk about.”
“So I can’t ask you about peeling potatoes?” I wanted to thank her for stopping me. In that moment, I would have told her everything, but that would have ruined the best part of our date. Talking about my job usually went one of two ways: either the person I was talking to started in on the worship or threw me a nice, big pity party. Layne was different, and I wanted her to stay that way.