Cruel Games

by Elaine May

  CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

  We’ve been in Louisa’s room for over an hour when we start hearing the music that says the party has started. When we go downstairs there are so many people out in the grounds, talking and partying, but I can’t see Charlton anywhere.

  I want to see him.

  Where is he? Louisa and I walk around everyone, taking everything in, we both try some of the drinks that are waiting to be drunk as the sky turns red and pink as the sun goes down. I feel like the odd one out, everyone else is older than us, we’re the babies trying to crash the grownups’ party. We get stared at, we get pushed at and then I see him. He just has swim shorts on and I can see all the soft muscles that grace his rippled stomach.

  I’m so thirsty for him I’m parched. He just looks at me as if he doesn’t even recognise me and then I see it, he knows who I am. He comes over to me, taking my hand in his, butterflies take flight in my stomach and I just want to melt into him. It happens in slow motion, I see a hand reach out and accidentally push at Charlton’s back, pushing him and me into the pool. The cold water engulfs me within its clutches and then as if by magic I can feel the warmth of his arms around me as we both reach the surface. As soon as we gulp in air to refill our lungs he lets go of me and I feel the loss of him finally being so close to me.

  I want it back.

  I want his hands on me again.

  As I place my feet safely back on the hard floor I rise above the water and push my hair away from my face just as Charlton looks back at me. He stops in his tracks, his mouth open slightly as he takes in my wet form.

  “Wow, you.” He just keeps looking at me.

  Why is he looking at me like that?

  “Wow you look…..Wow.”

  I can’t sleep.

  I don’t know if it’s because I can feel his steady breathing against my cheek or the way he was tonight.

  He seems different somehow.

  I feel different.

  Does he know that he keeps making me feel?

  I was in love with him once.

  The last time I allowed that to happen it didn’t end well.

  It didn’t end well for me.

  As soon as I saw him again and my future mapped out for me I wanted revenge.

  That was the only way I could get back at him.

  He keeps making me feel things again.

  He is making me want things again.

  “Are you ready to stop fighting me now, princess?” That’s what he said to me last night.

  He played me, just like the way he did before.

  He’s making my mind go into a full-blown hurricane and I can’t let that happen.

  There is no way I can let that happen again, to let myself lose control and lose all sense of normality. It can’t be an option for me.

  I can’t let him let me feel like this.

  He seems to be able to look right into me and read my soul.

  I think I might love him again.

  I can’t love him again, it hurt too much the last time.I could see the look in his eyes, I saw it just a few short hours ago when he was making love to me.

  What we did, it wasn’t fucking, no, what we did was making love.

  Does Charlton Williams love me?

  Do I love him?

  ****

  At some point during the night I must have fallen asleep because when I come to I’m still nestled next toCharlton, but I’ve turned to my other side.

  I open my eyes and there he is. I take a minute to take him in, he looks so peaceful like this, he looks far too gorgeous for his own good and he thinks he has it all.

  He knows what to do to get to me.

  He knows how to turn everything on my head.

  He knows how to piss me off.

  I need to do something to put the chips back in my corner.

  That’s it, he just really pisses me off. I get up out of bed as carefully as I can so I don’t wake him up yet, don’t want him awake yet. I walk to his walk-in wardrobe and grab one of his shirts. I place it over my shoulders and do up the buttons, a plan forming in my head. I check that he’s still asleep while I take gentle footsteps out of his room and go down the stairs, making sure to pick up a knife from his kitchen. With shaky hands I open his front door and go to the parking spacewhere I see his pride and joy, just where I want it.

  I can’t let myself be in love with him.

  I can’t let him be in love with me.

  He annoys the living shit out of me.I can’t be in love with a person like him. I step towards it, finding his name in my cell before standing right next to his car with the knife in the air so when he looks out he’ll see it. The phone rings a few times before his sleepy voice comes through the receiver.

  “Hello?”

  “Morning, Charlton.” I hear him shuffle in his bed, obviously wondering where I am. I have him just where I want him.

  “Where are you?”

  “Look out your window baby.”

  “What?”

  “Look out your window.” I repeat. I look up to where his bedroom window is, seeing his drapes move as he does as I tell him. I see him through the window as he opens it, making sure to wave to him with the hand that holds the knife.

  “Morning baby.” I say, still waving up at him.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Having some fun baby.” Just as the last word leaves my lips I stab the top of the car with a little push and I can hear the scream that comes from above. An evil smile takes a corner of my lips as I look up at him and I swoop the knife down again but this time missing his beloved car. It’s as if I hear his relief from here but I’m nowhere near done with him yet. He has to learn. I use the tip of the knife to slam it through his lights at the back of the car.

  “Put the knife down.” I start to shake my head as I look to the car and then up at him again, going around the front to do the same with the front lights.

  “N...No.” I swoop down again and this time I don’t miss my target, I can hear his ‘fuck’ penetrate the earth and I should really feel scared, I’ve just woken up the hornet, but I don’t care, I think he’s making me love him again. Out of the corner of my eye I can see his figure leave the window and I know that he will be by me at any moment. As if a fire bolt attacks my limbs I just go for it, Charlton’s car is my way of unleashing all the anger I feel for him.

  He played me last night.

  Played me at my own game. I hit that poor car as if it is a way to unleash all thehatred I am feeling for him again.I hit and I hit, I can hear the metal giveway with every attack of the knife in my hand.

  He drives me crazy, but he can make me laugh too.

  No matter what I have done he doesn’t give up on me, it is as if he knows that I need the crazy to keep myself centred. I hate him for everything he is making me feel, I do everything to him and he takes it in and allows me to be my screwed-up self. It’s as if everything happens in slow motion but all of a sudden I can see him run out of the building’s front door and storm towards me.

  The world stops, and I can feel the bile in my throat just waiting to eject from my stomach.

  My knees become wobbly, trying to send me to the floor but I put my hand on the car.

  The car? Oh shit, but before I can look his voice vibrates in the air.

  “What the fuck?” I hear him behind me, it’s as if I’m suddenly down from the high I was on and I look at the mess.

  Wow, did I just do that?

  The car, his pride and joy. It looks.... I don’t know, it looks like it’s been through war. I look up at Charlton and he’s looking at what is left of his beloved car and I don’t know why but I feel so ashamed of myself.

  What did I just do?

  And why?

  Just because I have feelings for him and I don’t know what to do with them.

  Charlton will hate me forever now, isn’t that what I always wanted, but that one thought sickens me. I raise my eyes back into his, fear of what I may see
washes through me. I’m right, his face is growing black with fury and I am the cause.

  What have I done? Angering the man I once loved, I think it may be back.

  “What have you fucking done to my car?” He asks as he starts to walk around it. I don’t feel anything except the anger I can feel coming off him in waves, seeping right back into me.

  Oh God, what is he doing to me?

  “What have you done?”

  “I was angry at you. I’ve always been angry at you.”

  “For what? What have I ever done to you?”

  “You took my virginity and then laughed about me to all your friends as if I was nothing.” He stops what he’s doing and just looks at me.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. You hurt me worse than anything that night.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  THE PAST

  CHARLTON

  I walk around the grounds of my parents’ estate, there are so many people talking and partying, some I know, some I have spent the last year at Uni with and others I don’t have a fucking cluewho they are. I don’t care though because I might get to see her. I told my sister to invite her and apparently, she was excited to come.

  She’s here somewhere.

  I can feel she’s close by and I want to see her.

  Where is she? I see a bunch of my friends from school I haven’t seen since I left by the pool and I grab a beer and go stand by them so we can catch up. We go back down memory lane, remembering what little shits we were, always getting into trouble but that was the point of youth, right?

  We all try the different shots I was able to get hold of, and I can feel the light buzz of alcohol run through my veins. My skin seems to start to burn, everything becoming super-aware of something on my left, I turn and I see her, she looks like a sexy angel. Holy shit, she’s not a girl any longer.

  She looks beautiful.

  She looks like a woman in her little dress that’s nice and tight-fitting around the boobs she has grown and that would fit perfectly in my hands. I can see my sister has experimented on her, but she has framed her eyes with a liner and mascara. Her full lips have a glimmer of pink to them and I just want to kiss them.

  She looks perfect and I’m thirsty for her. We seem to just stare at each other for the longest moment, everything else is in slow motion as she returns the look I’m sure I’m giving her.

  It seems to happen in slow motion, some guy walks past me, accidentally pushing at my back, pushing me hard towards the water and I can’t stop myself as I lose my footing. I don’t know why, but I grab hold of her hand and she follows me into the pool with a big splash. The cold water engulfs us both within its clutches and then I am able to wrap my arms around her as we both manage to reach the surface of the water. I manage to gulp in air to refill my lungs and as I let go of her I feel the loss instantly.

  I want it back.

  I want her. I feel my feet on the hard floor of the pool. I rise above the water, pushing my hair away from my face just as I hear all my friends laughing. I turn to look back at them, laughing as well,but I feel like anything but laughing.

  I want Noelle. I start making my way to the edge of the pool and turn around to make sure she’s ok and I stop in my tracks at what I see. I’m sure my mouth is wide open in surprise as I take in her wet,perfect form.

  Wow, she’s fucking hot, her wet dress just seems to cling to every curve of her body and I can see the pebbles of her nipples as they get affected by the cold water and my dick gets hard for her.

  He wants her just as much as I do.

  “Wow, you.” I just keep looking at her and I can’t force my eyes away.

  “Wow you look…..Wow.”

  I can still hear everyone else laughing but I don’t give a shit. I take her hand and help her out of the pool, feeling her shudder as the cold night air attacks her wet body. I lead her through the throngs of people to the linen cabinet where I know my mother keeps the towels for the pool. I wrap an extra-large around her, rubbing her arms to get her warm. The soft tone of her ‘thank you’ gets my heart racing and when I see her looking up at me I just want to take her to my bedroom.

  “If you don’t stop looking at me like that I won’t think twice about taking you to my bed.” Holy shit, she bites her bottom lip and nods her head.

  “Yes please.”

  “What?” I can hear the surprise in my own voice, but I want to believe what she has just said to me.

  “I said yes please.”

  “You know what that means,right?” I just want to make sure.

  “Yes, I know what it means, and I want it.” She takes a gulp as she drops the towel and I can practically see her naked form through her clothes and the bright lights.

  “I want you, I’ve always wanted you, Charlton.”

  Oh hell yeah, I take her hand and lead her through to the house, I hear my name called a few times but I’m on a mission and I just need to get Noelle in my bedroom. She keeps up with my quick strides, my hand still clasped tight around herswhere I know it belongs.We have had so many ups and downs but she will always be special to me. She’s my Noelle, the only girl I will ever love. I can feel the flutter of my heart as my pulse begins to thump inside every vein and every limb of my body as I turn around to look at her as we get to the door of my bedroom.

  This could be it, but I want to check with her. I never want her to regret anything to do with me.

  “Are you sure about this?” It’s so silent as I watch her nod her head with a beautiful smile on her face.

  This could be it.

  I could be able to make love with the girl who has always held my heart.

  My Noelle.

  “I’m sure.” She says with a shaky voice and I give her a smile in return. She’s just made my night, my week, even my year. I open my door, I still have a hold of her hand and I lead her through the door and into my private space. I draw my blinds and put one of my lamps on so it casts a gentle glow in the room. I turn to look at her again and I hear her take ina long breath as her fingers start to tremble as she tries to take off her dress. The wet fabric kisses at her skin as it slides down hertanned shoulders and past her beautiful breasts that are now begging me to touch them. My fingers are just itching to touch them,I want to feel those little nipples between my fingers as I play with them. She steps out of the puddle of fabric and I can feel my body shaking with nerves and my need for her. I take long slow steps towards her and her lips feelso soft as I join mine with hers. It’s better than I ever imagined. It’s perfect. I can feel everything she feels for me as she kisses me back. I let my fingers run up her arm and neck and then through her hair, a shuddering breath claims her as I deepen our kiss. My fingers reach herscalp so I can hold her in place as my tongue starts a slow dance with hers. She lets me do what I want and I can feel her body melt into mine as if we are just one body and soul. I’ve never felt such a connection and I don’t think I ever will. My fingertips start a slow sweep of her neck and I can feel lava on the tips, just beckoning to be let loose all over her. Her nipples are standing to attention as she gasps into the kiss and I flick and then pinch one of her sensitive nubs. I shift to get closer to her and my dick throbs to be inside her already. I lead her backwards towards my bed and then I gently pushher down, she looks beautiful.

  “You’re sure?” I ask again just to be sure, she can only nod her head in confirmation. As I stand before her, her naked on my bed, my body starts to burn up only for her.

  No more waiting. I need to have her. I crawl towards her, my dick just wants to be inside her, the tip leaking already for her. I get on my knees between her long slim legs and without warning her my fingers travel higher up her leg until I get to where I know no one else has been before.

  I’ll be her first and there’s something about that thought that just warms my heart. I want to make this special for her. I can see her try and swallow away the nerves I know she’s trying to hide as two of my fingers spread her lips wide and
then I use my tongue to run along her perfect heat, liking the taste of her honey nectar, before slipping inside her. My thumb brushes her clit as my tongue keeps lapping up all her yummy juices, her essence coating us both. I can feel her body tighten like arope as I keep teasing her with each brush of my tongue. I’m her master and she’s my puppet doing what I want her to and right now she’s flying into an orgasm. She has a dry rasp to her breathing as she comes down from the orgasm I have just given her.

  She’s amazing.

  “I’m not done with you yet, princess.” I whisper as she tries to move away from me, but I stop her. Her breath catches as I start to ease myself inside her tight channel. I can sense her body screaming as it triesto stretch to allow me in.

  “Are you ok, Noelle?” I ask as I try to move as gently as I can,but the pain must start to diminish as her frown eases. Her hips start to rock along with mine and my face comes close to hers as I start a long slow kiss.

  I can feel the warmth and softness of her body against mine.

  I feel her nipples graze my chest, sending goose-bumps rising all over me.

  My fingers, my lips are all over her and I know I have never felt more at home in my life than I do at this moment with her.

  I think I love her I think I always have and I know from this day forward I always will.

  ****

  I awake some time later and I have my arms wrapped around Noelle as she rests her head on my chest. Her breaths tickle my chest hair and I like the feeling it gives me.

  I had sex with Noelle last night. I feel like the catwho got the cream. I’m a lucky bastard right about now.

  I feel exhausted in that just-fucked way and it feels great.

  I made love to her, but I really need a piss.

  I try to be as quiet as I can as I unwrap her from my body and get out of bed. I look down at her and she looks so peaceful and I can’t wait to get back into bed with her. I walk down the hall and down the stairs, trying not to squeak the floorboards and I notice how it’s getting lighter outside already. I go in the bathroom to relieve myself and then go into the kitchen to fill a glass of water and take it outside to drink it. I hear footsteps coming towards me and then I turn around to see one of my best friends behind me.