“I read and no I’m not going on that show. Alex Trebeck is scary without his mustache.” She stuck her tongue out and then tossed a stress ball at Beth.
“Funny. Beyotch.”
“Me?” Mock horror painted her face. “You know I love you, right?”
They’d been best friends since elementary school after meeting in kindergarten. In all that time they’d only had one fight and it was over Doug, go figure. “Yes, dear, I know. I love you too.”
“Good, so when I tell you to take the day off and go to the beach you’re going to listen, right?”
“No. I need to be here. I’ve spent too much time away.”
“You need some me time, especially if Dani is going to be coming home. You’re worn so thin you’ve got holes.”
The beach. It wasn’t summer yet so only the locals would be around. Thinking about the waves washing against the beach, the sandpipers jumping around hunting for food, and wet sand between her toes, Beth was tempted. More than tempted really. But she had an obligation to the store and Julie.
“Maybe Sunday.”
“And Dani is stubborn?”
This time it was Beth who stuck her tongue out. Then her pocket vibrated. “Shit.”
“What?”
Beth held up the phone as she pulled it out of her pocket. “It’s the hospital.” Sliding her finger across the screen she answered, “Hello?”
“Mrs. Fraser?”
“Yes. Is everything okay with Dani?”
“Oh yes. I’m Mrs. Canton from the business office. I was hoping you could come in so we could discuss Dani’s discharge plan.”
“Discharge? I didn’t realize it would be so soon.”
Julie’s eyebrows almost disappeared under her curly brown bangs. Beth shrugged, it was the first she was hearing about it.
“The doctor noted on her chart discharge could be in the next few weeks.”
“Really? Sure. But can’t we do it over the phone?”
“I’m afraid not. We have some papers for you to sign for insurance.”
“I’ll be at the hospital around four this afternoon. Will you be there?”
“I should be but if I’m not anyone in the business office can help you.”
“Alright. See you later.” Shoving the phone in her pocket, it hit her, two weeks or less and her baby would be home. “No beach today, see. The universe is against it for sure.”
“One of these days I’m going to take your phone, tie you up, and leave you there with a picnic basket.”
“I appreciate the thought but I think it might get worse once Dani is home. I’m wondering if life will ever get back to normal, whatever that is.”
“I’m sure it will. It has to, sweetie. You’ve had more than your fair share lately.”
“I hear that.”
Chapter Six
If Mac was restless before it was so much worse now. He wanted to rip the patches off his eyes and see, blurry or not. Anything would be better than the total darkness of the last three months. The tease after the transplant surgery yesterday wasn’t nearly enough. He’d been patient for too long and he wanted to get on with his life, however it turned out. Used to being on missions, always active, now he was bored out of his mind.
They’d come in with his breakfast tray but all he’d had was coffee. He was getting ornery, he knew it, and everyone around him did too. Fuckin’ hell, man. He’d been in the hospital forever or damn close to it, and he had cabin fever.
The slide of crutches on the floor alerted him to Tag’s arrival. Thank God. A diversion.
“Morning, Mac.”
“Yeah, back atcha.”
“What’s eating your ass?”
“I want the patches off and out of here. My tolerance for being here disappeared with the transplant.”
“Is it a reaction to the surgery?”
“No, it’s a fuckin’ reaction to being stuck here.”
“Don’t bite my head off, bro. You were fine yesterday, what the fuck? Besides, I’ve been here as long as you.”
Mac sighed. He was being unreasonable. He didn’t know why he had the sudden need to escape. “Sorry. I know, maybe it’s hearing you’re getting out. Or the little tease of seeing yesterday, blurry or not, it was still sight, but not nearly long enough.”
Tag laughed. “You know you would have told the grunts to stop acting like a bunch of pussies if they pulled this shit with you.”
“Yeah I know. Maybe I need to drop and give you twenty?”
“I don’t think that’d be a good idea, Lieutenant,” Dr. Andrews said as he came in.
“Sorry, doc. Didn’t hear you.”
“I noticed.”
“Morning, doc,” Tag said and laughed. Mac wondered what the doc had done. “I got to see a bit last night.”
“So I saw from your chart. Congratulations. Has Dr. Pinsky been in to see you today?”
“Not yet.”
“Okay, well it’ll be up to her to decide when those patches come off. I’d bet it’ll be today though. It doesn’t look like there were any complications at all. Are you having any pain?”
“Nothing more than the usual headaches. Do you know when those will stop?”
“Unfortunately you may suffer with those for the rest of your life.”
“Well it could definitely be worse. If that’s all I’m stuck with I’m good with that.”
“I thought you might be. I heard something about you two bunking together when you’re discharged?”
“Yes, sir,” Tag answered before Mac had the chance. “My sister already leased the apartment. Just waiting on the ‘get the hell out’ papers.”
Dr. Andrews laughed. “How would you feel about Saturday?”
“Hell yeah. Uh sorry, sir.”
“Lucky bastard,” Mac grumbled.
“Actually I meant both of you.”
“Seriously? This Saturday?”
“As long as Dr. Pinsky is in agreement, then yes. But either way, Lieutenant Taggart will be discharged on Saturday.”
“Hoorah.”
“What are my odds, doc?”
“Well not exactly a question I like to answer, but I’d say they were better than good but less than certain.”
Mac laughed. Even if he didn’t get to leave on Saturday, it was close. And if he was getting out then it meant these freakin’ bandages were gone, gone, gone. Halleluiah and all that is holy. “All right, doc. I’ll take that for now. Hopefully Dr. Pinsky will be in soon.”
“I’ll check on you later after I’ve finished rounds. Try not to celebrate too loudly, we do have some sick people here.”
“Yes, sir.” Tag laughed. “Did you hear that, Mac?”
“Umm, yeah I was sitting right here, numb nuts. I might not be able to see right now but my ears work fuckin’ fine.”
“Yeah, yeah. I need to call Anna and tell her we’ll be moving in Saturday.”
“She really got us an apartment already?”
“Yeah, she doesn’t mess around. She’s all work and no play. A lot like you. Maybe I should try to hook you two up.”
“Don’t even go there, bro. Not if you want to live.”
“Yes, sir. I’m gonna give her the head’s up. I’ll be back.”
“See ya.”
Tag sure filled up a room. Mac wondered why he never realized it before, but then they’d spent most of their time on patrol. No one wanted to be inside more than they had to.
After what felt like hours, the click-clack of Dr. Pinsky’s heels on the tiles got louder as she approached. Offering a silent prayer to his maker, he waited for the verdict.
“Hello, Lieutenant. How are you today?”
“Great, doc. I’d be better if you took these patches off.”
“I’m sure. Let me close these blinds, and then we’ll see how your eyes are looking.”
Mac’s tension ratcheted up a level. So much rested on what she would say next. Yeah he’d still be getting out soon, but now that Sat
urday was mentioned he wanted out.
“All right. I’m going to peel these off. Make sure your eyes are closed.”
Closing his eyes, he inhaled and without realizing it, held his breath. There was a slight tug on first one then the other eye, and then the air chilled his skin. “Can I open now?”
“Sure can. Give them a chance to adjust. Remember they’ll probably still be blurry. It’s perfectly normal.”
He eased open his eyes and let his breath out at the same time. The room was in shadows and at first he couldn’t see anything but gray. After blinking a few times his sight got clearer. Fuck yeah!
“How are we doing, Lieutenant?”
He looked around the room, letting his eyes move from side to side and up and down. Still blurry as she’d said, but definitely better than after the surgery. “I can see. Better than yesterday too.”
“Great. Can you see me?”
“Yes, you’re a little blurry around the edges but wow, blond hair, I didn’t picture that.” Shit. What the hell, Mac? He was glad the room was dark because he’d swear he was blushing with how warm his face felt.
“I’m not sure I want to know. But that’s great. How many fingers am I holding up?”
Squinting at her hand. He thought it was two but then it changed to four, but they weren’t in the right places. “Two.”
“Did you really see two or are you guessing?”
“Honestly?”
“Please.”
“Two at first but then they sort of blurred to four.”
“Okay, not a problem. Totally normal post-surgery. Now I’m going to shine a light in your eyes. It might hurt a bit.” Holding a little pen light flashlight, she moved it across first one eye then the other. She didn’t make any sound, not even a ‘hmm’ and it left Mac wondering if there was an issue. Between the bright light and her being so close, he couldn’t bring her in to focus so he had no clue.
“Excellent. Your eyes are responding well,” she said as she backed up and switched off the pen light. “How’s your pain?”
“It’s fine.”
“Number please.” She waited holding the pen above his chart.
“A two maybe. My head hurts more than my eyes ever did.”
“All right. You’re looking good so I’m going to tell Dr. Andrews you’re good to go on Saturday. But, and this is important, you need to wear sunglasses every time you’re outside or in bright light. We don’t want to do any damage to your new corneas. Right?”
“Yes, ma’am. I will. Anything else?”
“No driving obviously, hopefully I didn’t have to tell you that.” He almost laughed because for the first time in what was nearly forever he could almost see someone’s expression.
“Nope you didn’t. I figure I’ll have to wait at least two weeks.” Mac was kidding and did laugh when her eyes almost bugged out of her head.
“Yeah okay then, maybe I should have you chained to your hospital bed instead?” Her one eyebrow ticked up a notch. “No? I didn’t think so. Here’s my card. Call the office and make an appointment for two weeks. If you don’t I’ll hunt you down. Actually it won’t be me, but my office bouncer. He’s big and mean, you don’t want to mess with him.”
“Seriously?”
“No, but you deserved it after the driving remark. Good luck, Lieutenant. See you in two weeks.” Smiling, she held out her hand and he was proud he connected with it on the first attempt.
As soon as she was out the door he was on his way to Tag’s room. He knew it was four doors down to the right, and now he didn’t have to hold onto walls or count steps. Freedom was a beautiful thing.
Tag looked up as Mac stood in his doorway. “Well look what the trash dropped off.”
“Fuck you, bro.” Mac blinked a few times at the brightness shining through the windows. His eyes were watering a bit and he made a note to see if they had sunglasses in the gift shop. “I’ve been sprung too.”
“Hell yeah.” Tag lifted up from the chair and gave Mac a high five. It was the first time he’d actually seen his friend and the injuries he’d sustained. Not exactly a shock but definitely a kick in the gut. “How’re the eyes?”
“Pretty damn good. Better than I’d expected after what the doc said. Still blurry and a lot sensitive. The light definitely sucks.”
“But you can see.” Mac thought he heard a little wistfulness in his buddy’s voice, but he might have been reading into it. In all these month’s he’d never heard Tag bitch about his injury. He’d just accepted it as fact.
“Fuck yeah I can. Holy hell I really had my doubts.”
“That’s great. Seriously. I’m fucking thrilled for you.” It was clear in his voice, Tag meant every word. Mac wished he could have done something more for him.
“Thanks, bro. I know you are. Okay, enough of this touchy-feely crap. Can we make a list of shit we need or will your sister know?”
“She should know, but a list couldn’t hurt. Especially if it’s something specific. We’ll give her a call again later after we get it together.”
“Great. But let’s do it outside, as long as I can get some sunglasses in the gift shop. Uhh, there is a gift shop in here right?”
“Fuck if I know. Take these.” Tag reached into the drawer and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. “I don’t need them like you do. We’ll get you your own pair but for now you can use those.”
“Thanks.”
He was probably pushing it, but he didn’t care. He’d wear the glasses and stay in the shade but he wanted outside. He’d woken with his usual migraine but he’d been learning to control the pain. Determination worked well, and the call of the outside was a strong motivator.
Chapter Seven
Paperwork finished at the Business Office, Beth stopped at the nurse’s station to see how Dani’s day had been. Apparently the therapist had been in to see her for the first time and it went well. A good sign, Beth would take it. Hell she’d take anything good at that point.
“Hi, bug, how are you?”
“I’m fine, and don’t call me that.” Okay, she was crabby, no biggie, they’d been down this road many times. Life with a pre-teen.
“Did you have a good day?”
“It was okay.” It looked like Beth was going to be playing dentist, and having to pull everything out of Dani like a sore tooth. Again no biggie.
“How did PT go?”
“Fine.”
“You do anything else today?”
“No. I didn’t want to.”
“Really? I heard someone came in to talk to you today.” Dani looked at her with narrowed eyes. Gotcha. Beth made sure to hide her smile. But she’d hooked Dani and now she’d reel her in. “Looks like you’ll be coming home soon too. At least if things go well over the next two to three weeks.”
“Really?” Dani wanted to ask but Beth knew she wasn’t ready to give in yet.
“Yep. I talked to Mrs. Knight, and she said everyone was excited to have you back in class too.”
“I don’t want to go back, I told you.”
“I know. But if you don’t cooperate with the physical therapists and do what you’re supposed to, then why should I do what you want?” Dani’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed with color. She always forgot Beth could read her like a book. She remembered very clearly what it was like to be twelve, and yes it sucked, but it didn’t mean she was going to get her way all the time. Beth was still the parent and she needed to make sure Dani grew up to be a good person.
“Okay, I’ll try harder tomorrow.”
“Good. That’s all anyone wants. We want to see you get out of here. Three months has been long enough, right?”
“Yeah. I’m tired of this room and worrying about germs and infections and the food sucks. I’m still mad at you. You lied to me, how can I trust you now?”
“I’m sorry, bug. I really am, but I thought it was the best thing to do. You know it’s not easy being a parent, someday you’ll know what I mean. But we’ll
get through this. I love you.”
“I love you too. I’m sorry about what I said last night. I miss Daddy.”
“I know and I’m sorry it happened. Maybe someday we’ll find out why things happen the way they do.”
“I dunno.” Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Beth sat on the edge of the hospital bed and rocked her gently, careful not to press on any of the still healing skin grafts. Whatever else she was, Dani was her little girl, her bug, the same angelic child who ran around the backyard chasing ladybugs and having them land on her nose.
Dani pulled her close and it was Beth’s turn for tears. The simple feel of her daughter’s arms holding her made all the difference. They’d made it through another rough spot, definitely the worst so far. There’d probably be a lot more to come before she was discharged. At least they were talking, and then afterwards laughing about the stupid show on the television. The next hurdle would be to get Dani to interact with people again. She wasn’t going to let her hide forever.
The nurse came in after a while and asked if Beth was going to stay the night.
“Not tonight. I think I’ll go home and get some sleep in a bed.”
The nurse and Dani both looked surprised, but Beth and Julie talked about it earlier and decided if Beth wasn’t there so much maybe she’d be forced to be more social, even if it was only with the other kids in the pediatric ward.
“You’re leaving?”
“I think so. I know you’ll be okay, because you did fine last night. Right?” At first Beth thought she was going to say no, but then she nodded.
“Yeah it’s okay. I’m old enough to be alone overnight.”
“That’s what I thought. Besides, you’re never really alone, you have all the nurses here with you.” Beth smiled, dropped a kiss on her head, and started to pull away when Dani’s arms wrapped around her again. Beth smiled into her hair as she hugged her daughter. Yeah, they’d be okay. “I’ll be back tomorrow evening. If you need me you know the number. Bye, bug.”
“Bye, Mom.”
One last wave and Beth escaped before her tears started again. Was she crying for Dani or herself? She wasn’t sure. Julie was right, she needed to find her center again, her happy place, the source of her strength. She had been through a lot in her life, and she’d always been strong. Why was it so hard now? Her strength, her center was missing, but there was one place she could always find it. Decision made, she got in the car and, instead of driving home, she headed for the beach.
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