Aperture on the East

by Meris Lee

The alcoholics support group meetings took place in the home of a wealthy French expat. The house was built on a headland overlooking the South China Sea, north of the bustling city center. Clement Simon had come from a prominent Parisian family and never for one minute of his life worried about money. After he killed his daughter in a drunk-driving accident, he spent two years in prison and vowed to never touch alcohol again. He signed the divorce papers and moved halfway around the world to escape from the socialites that were still throwing money at wine-filled parties, gossiping about his misfortune as if they were somehow above him.

  Every Friday evening Clement opened his house to all who sought support and guidance in defeating their demons. The attendants were mostly foreigners, and as much as Clement hated it, the meetings were conducted in English as it was the most commonly spoken language among the members. They took turns facilitating the meetings, and encouraged one another to share their stories. Nothing was too mundane to talk about, Clement had stressed from the beginning. People were welcome to invoke any deity to help them with their struggles, but in general, they left religions out and relied mainly on the strength and wisdom of one another.

  Ana had been attending the meetings faithfully for a few months now, and had been sober for longer than she could ever remember. She felt strong and confident, and was glad that her life was in her control again. She became friends with all who attended Clement’s meetings. Having a network of fellow recovering alcoholics with whom she could be honest about her problems and emotions provided the outlet she would have otherwise substituted with vodka.

  “So, Ana, what’s this I hear about you being a photographer?” said Clement one night as everyone was leaving his house after a meeting.

  “It’s nothing,” said Ana. “I like playing with cameras and taking pictures. You know I work at an electronics store and my boss lets me hang my photos there to help advertise his cameras.”

  “I miss the museums in Paris,” said Clement, “and I am thinking about hosting an exhibit in my house. Gary paints and Nancy’s got that pottery wheel. We can put a show together and invite the whole city to come, locals and tourists. I’ve got a few empty rooms we can use.”

  Ana considered it for a moment, and started to feel excited about the opportunity to participate in an exhibit.

  “Are you sure you want all these people in your house?” said Ana.

  “I want to see what the interest is like. If we get a big turnout, I will consider buying a space somewhere and renovate it into a gallery. This could mean revenue. If it turns out to be a flop, at least we get to see and enjoy one another’s work. I need some intellectual stimuli.” Clement chuckled.

  “Sounds like a great idea,” said Ana. “I will email everyone and find more artists to participate. And of course, I will help with the installation and the advertising.”

  They agreed to meet and discuss details later. Ana bounded out of Clement’s house and hailed a taxi to take her home. The idea of an exhibit was thrilling. She could get some recognition.

  Over the next month Ana threw herself into the production of the exhibit at Clement’s house. “East Sea Spring—Arts and Conversations” was the official title. Ana asked Mai to help recruit some Vietnamese artists to participate as well, and Zoe got the other guitarist from her band, Nelly, to show some of her pencil sketches and watercolors. Ana transformed Clement’s house into an art gallery, and Mai agreed to cater the hors d’oeuvres for the reception on opening night.

  March had arrived once again and Ana reflected on her year in Nha Trang as she looked herself in the mirror, getting ready for the opening reception. She was wearing a flowing red dress, and she let her brunette hair down in long, bouncy curls. Her face was glowing without the need for much makeup, a result of her much improved health with alcohol cessation. The last item she put on was the necklace with the pearl. She felt a sting in her chest, and let out a sigh.

  “You look beautiful,” said Clement when he saw Ana.

  “Thanks,” said Ana. “Are you glad that your art show has come true? There are so many people here. I heard that you invited some dealers from overseas. It pays to have a rich friend with connections.”

  Clement grinned at Ana’s remark. Zoe’s friend, Tam, was playing jazz standards on the piano, and the music filled the house, providing a backdrop to the lively chatters among the artists and the guests. Ana was a little nervous, as she had never been to an event like this before. She was glad that Clement did most of the talking when he escorted her around the house to introduce her to important attendees such as the art dealers and a couple of critics. She felt somewhat inadequate and didn’t want to contribute to the dialogues. Listening to the experts was more than satisfying.

  “Tell us about this photograph,” said an art dealer from Japan. He was pointing at a black-and-white photograph of three pairs of hands intertwined.

  “I just took this one recently,” said Ana. “The hands are those of my children Zoe and Ivan, and mine. We didn’t always get along, but after we got through a terrible crisis recently, we had gotten closer now. I took this photograph to commemorate and celebrate the bond we formed.”

  “It really stands out, a very touching piece,” said the art dealer. “I could put this in my gallery in Tokyo.”

  “That’s very kind of you to offer,” Ana said, “but it’s not for sale.”

  The art dealer raised an eyebrow. Ana was afraid that she might have offended him, and looked to Clement for rescue.

  “Ana has other pieces that you could consider. Right, Ana?” said Clement.

  Ana nodded, and then proceeded to describe her other photographs. The art dealer from Japan was pacified when he fell in love with a still shot of Ivan’s friend, Duong, on his skateboard in midair with the blue ocean and sky in the background. Ana was relieved, and quickly agreed to discuss its consignment with the art dealer later.

  When Ana thought that she had met all the dealers and critics that Clement had invited, he said, “There is someone else I’d like for you to meet.”

  He took her from the living room to the outdoors terrace, which was situated at the edge of the headland. Candle-lit lanterns cast a mellow light in the darkness. Ana could hear the waves gently slapping against the rocks at the foot of the promontory. When she looked toward the ocean she saw the full moon on the horizon and its reflection on the water. It was more than she could do not to cry, being overwhelmed by such beauty.

  “Am I meeting the moon?” said Ana. She put her hands on the stone balustrade, still gazing at the celestial body in the distance.

  “Ana,” said a familiar voice.

  Ana stiffened a little when she heard her name. She wanted to turn around to see who it was, but somehow her body did not allow it.

  Time seemed to have suspended while Ana tried to process what she thought to be some kind of an auditory hallucination. She blinked twice, and bit her lower lip. Her heart started to pound a little harder, and her limbs, trembling, were feeling a little numb.

  “Ana,” the voice called again.

  Ana didn’t dare move. The man approached her instead, and reached to cover Ana’s hand with his. Ana’s fingers became the portal through which an influx of emotions raced to her soul, and her skin rapidly succumbed to the familiar warmth emanating from the body standing next to hers. She knew all too well who it was. She just couldn’t believe that it was happening.

  Chapter 42

  Vo took Ana’s hand off the balustrade and moved it in a way that made Ana’s body turn to face him. Their eyes locked at once and Ana felt faint all of a sudden. She managed to stay on her feet and said, “I-I don’t believe it.”

  “I know,” said Vo, holding on to Ana’s hand. “I’ve been gone for so long. We didn’t even say goodbye properly, the way I ran out on you like that. I am so sorry.”

  “No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” said Ana. “I was the one to blame. It was a good thing you found out what a terrible person I was. You would’ve had
nothing but heartaches if you had been stuck with me.” She looked around for Clement; he had disappeared.

  “You were never a terrible person,” said Vo. “That wasn’t who you really were. Your life was hijacked by an addiction. But look at you. I think you’ve won yourself back.” He inspected Ana from head to toe.

  Ana studied the man in front of her as well. He had on a gray sport jacket, unbuttoned, with a white dress shirt underneath, the collar of which loose without a necktie. There was some stubble on the lower part of his face. He looked as captivating as ever.

  Vo squeezed Ana’s hand gently. She didn’t want him to let go.

  “How did you find out about this event?” said Ana.

  “I knew Clement through Kim,” said Vo. “He told me about it. Kim was an ER nurse at the hospital before she moved to the States. Clement used to go and talk to the nurses and doctors about his meetings for people with drinking problems.”

  “He still does,” said Ana. The subject of Kim reminded her of the inappropriateness of the present encounter. She pulled her hand away, and said out of politeness, “So, how is Kim? Adjusting well?”

  “She’s all right for the most part,” said Vo, “but she has the usual issues with unfamiliar foods, people, language, hard time getting used to the mother-in-law, et cetera.”

  Ana remembered her one and only visit with Vo’s mother, and shivered.

  “We are expecting a baby boy in May,” said Vo.

  Ana was jolted by the announcement, even though she had known about it. She looked down on the floor and said, “You must be really excited.”

  “Of course I am. Everyone is,” said Vo.

  “It’s a wonderful thing, being pregnant with your first child,” said Ana. “I remembered being pregnant with Zoe. I was in a blissful paradise every day. I was very careful, and followed all the advice I read in books.”

  “Not the same with Ivan?”

  “No,” said Ana, somewhat hesitant. “When Zoe’s father died, I started drinking heavily. I got pregnant with Ivan. His father could be any of the men I was with. I didn’t know who. I drank through the whole pregnancy. It’s a miracle that Ivan is as intelligent as he is.”

  “Ana,” said Vo, “you don’t have to tell me these things. I know it hurts you very much to talk about it.”

  “I want you to know,” said Ana. “I’ve always wanted to come clean but I was never honest with you. I was ashamed of it. I still am.”

  Ana took a deep breath and continued to say, “Eduard didn’t know about my drinking problem when he married me. When I got pregnant with his child, I didn’t quit drinking. I thought, Ivan turned out okay, so….” Ana looked down, tears welling up in her eyes.

  “Oh, Ana,” said Vo.

  “Anyway,” said Ana, “when Eduard found out that my drinking had killed his baby, he left. I thought that I had hit rock bottom then. Zoe had dropped out of school and run away from home. Ivan was withdrawn, without a single friend to talk to. Both of them hated me. I decided that it was time to get out of Novosibirsk and start from scratch. I didn’t know that things were going to get a lot worse here.”

  “But it all worked out now, right?” said Vo. “You did it. You made it work.”

  Ana looked at the moon again. She didn’t think that she should take credit for anything. Luck was on her side now. That was all.

  “So what brings you back here?” Ana looked up at Vo.

  “I missed Nha Trang, the ocean, my boat. I missed you,” said Vo. He gazed into Ana’s eyes.

  Ana didn’t know how to react to that, so she responded with another question, “How long are you staying?”

  “For as long as it takes,” said Vo.

  Ana didn’t understand what Vo meant by it, but before she could ask him to explain, he had already started saying, “I’ve got my old job back at the Institute of Oceanography, and I am going to see the guys at the dive center tomorrow, too. Speaking of, I heard about the whole secret operation McKenzie had pulled off. It was incredible.”

  “Yes, one of the gangsters almost killed Zoe,” said Ana. “Fortunately, she survived. Not only that, she’s changed into a completely different person. She’s actually considering college. We get along now.”

  “And how’s Ivan?”

  “He was heartbroken for a while. He really missed you. And then his girlfriend turned out to be the daughter of the head of the mafia that McKenzie busted.”

  “No,” said Vo. “He must’ve been devastated.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  They were silent for a while, both looking toward the horizon. The part of the ocean that sparkled under the moonlight was alluring, and Ana pictured herself and Vo swimming in it. She blinked, considered how unethical that would be, and shook off the idea.

  Vo looked into the house and said, “You’ve got a good turnout today. I always knew that people would come and admire your work.”

  “You didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?” said Ana. “Did you ask Clement to sponsor this show so that I could get some publicity?” She wouldn’t like it if that was the reason Clement approached her with this exhibit.

  “No, this was entirely Clement’s own idea. He missed the art scene in Paris. I did tell him that you were a photographer, but he came up with this himself.”

  Ana bit her lower lip, but didn’t say anything.

  “So, how have you been?” said Vo.

  Ana didn’t really know how to answer the question. She was supposed to give a positive response according to customs, but it wouldn’t be the truth. Now that Vo was standing in front of her, she realized just how much she had wanted him and missed him all this time.

  “I can’t complain,” said Ana. “I am sober. I’ve got a job. My kids don’t hate me anymore. Now I’ve got this exhibit. I’d say my life is okay.” She shrugged her shoulders.

  “Okay, but not great?” said Vo. “Same goes for me.”

  Ana looked away.

  “Ana, I’ve thought about you a lot,” said Vo. “I guess, what I want to say is, that I want you to give me another chance. It was foolish of me to run off like that, but I needed some time to clear my head. I was so angry, so mad, and so jealous.”

  Another chance? Ana couldn’t believe that Vo was asking her to do the impossible. She was not going down that path. She used all the strength she had to fight the urge to throw herself into Vo’s arms. “I think that,” said Ana, “for the time being, let’s just be friends.”

  Vo seemed disappointed. After a moment, he said, “That’s all I’m asking for.”

  They stood and enjoyed the comforting stillness of each other’s company for a little while longer. When they walked back into the house, the crowd had dissipated. Clement was seeing the last few guests off and directing his staff to clean up.

  “So, you two finally reunited,” said Clement when he saw them.

  “Did you plan this? How could you hide it from me?” said Ana.

  “Vo told me to. It’s been really hard trying to keep everything secret from you.”

  “Uh?” said Ana. She tilted her head to one side, puzzled.

  “What, you still don’t know?” said Clement. He frowned at Vo.

  “Don’t bother Ana with that,” said Vo. “Not now.”

  “Well, she ought to know,” said Clement. “Vo took out a loan to pay for your treatment at the rehab center. He referred you to our support group. He also sponsored the scholarship to pay for Ivan’s tuition, and worked out a plan with the school so that you didn’t have to pay for Zoe’s all at once.”

  “You did what?” Ana looked at Vo, who was gesturing for Clement to stop.

  “We kept a correspondence so that he could keep up with you,” said Clement, ignoring Vo’s protest. “He wanted to offer assistance whenever you needed it. He said, and I quote, ‘I will give my all for all of Ana, alcoholic or not.’”

  Ana wasn’t really listening. Instead of gratitude, she was feeling resentment toward Vo�
��s patronizing actions. She took a deep breath, and looked away.

  “Ana,” said Vo, “I didn’t know how to explain to you at the time. I wasn’t ready to see you face to face, but I couldn’t leave you in a state like that.”

  “So you took me on as a charity project?” said Ana. “Is this, was all this just you trying to be nice to me, because you pity me?”

  “No,” said Vo, “it wasn’t like that. It’s never like that.” His tone was urgent.

  “You know, Ana,” said Clement, “you could always pay him back, if it offended you so much.”

  Ana’s thoughts were in chaos and she didn’t quite know how to resolve the shock. She looked at Vo. His face was tense, looking anxious.

  “Yes,” said Ana, “I could pay you back. I will pay you back.” She lowered her voice, and the lines on her face softened.

  “Let’s not worry about it right now,” said Vo. “Why are we talking about money anyway? Clement, this is all your fault.”

  “I am just trying to tell her the fact that you have never really left her. You’ve got her back all this time,” said Clement. He threw his hands up in the air, and left.

  As rattled as Ana was, she let Vo escort her home in a taxi. They didn’t talk much during the ride. When they arrived at Ana’s apartment, she raced to pay for the fare. Vo did not object.

  “I guess I owe you, a lot,” said Ana. “Thank you. I mean it. No one had stuck with me and carried me through like that before.”

  “You are not mad anymore?” said Vo.

  “I just wish that I had known. I suppose you got me where I am today. I don’t know what else to say.”

  “You don’t need to say anything. I am to blame for a lot of things, too. We can take our time making it up to each other.”

  Ana nodded, and then she disappeared inside the door of her apartment building. She walked up the stairs, still awe-stricken from seeing Vo again. Was that really Vo? Or was it just a dream? And all the things Clement said that Vo had done for her, were they true? Maybe Vo was feeling guilty about leaving her and marrying Kim. A pulsating headache had crept up to Ana, and she was craving for vodka. She took her cell phone out of her purse, and dialed Mai’s number. Ana was having a crisis again.